Nine Months Later: July 1917
A hot, stale wind brushed against Eloise's face. Slowly, she eased down onto the top step of the orphanage. Her hands instinctively rested on her mounded stomach, feeling her child move within her. Nine months had crept by slowly as her days were spent at the orphanage. Day after day she would sit in silence staring at the horizon, waiting for some form of news. She had no knowledge of anything of the outside world. Her thoughts were always on Albert, wondering where he could be. As the child within moved again, she could feel Albert in the touch.
Her eyes roamed around the small square of land where she had surrendered her freedom. She watched the children, who had been affected dramatically by the war, forget the monstrosities created by the world leaders. Their laughter cheered her momentarily. The smiles written along their faces beamed as brightly as the sun as they chased each other. For a moment Eloise could see peace.
A group of nuns passed by her, offering her a kind smile. The language barrier between them was difficult. The amount of English and French words in her vocabulary were scarce, but on occasions she could communicate with the women. The sense of being foreign weighted her heart, wishing she could have a friend in her most dire time of need.
The puttering of a motorcar alerted the children and the women. Eloise gently rose and approached the children, gathering them into a neat line. A silence came over them as they watched a medical car nearing them. The blurred visual of two men was apparent, yet nothing else was known about the nearing strangers.
The familiar smell of burning fuel pricked Eloise's nose as the car halted beside her. Upon looking in, the familiar face of General Thomas Ramsay stared back. Her eyes became astonished at the sight of him. Nine months had passed slowly since the last she had saw him.
When the door swung open, Thomas appeared before her. The medical uniform that Eloise remembered vividly had vanished and the man that stood before her was unfamiliar. During his time away, his appearance had changed. A freshly pressed uniform hugged his slender body in a way Eloise had never saw before. The black leather boots at his feet had been recently polished and shone dapperly in the sunlight.
"General?" She asked in disbelief, shaking her head. "Is that really you?"
"Yes, Miss Eloise," He removed his hat and bowed respectfully toward her, "It is I."
"I almost did not recognize you in such a fancy uniform. Where have you been?"
A wide smile quickly appeared on Eloise's face. Never once did she think that seeing his face would create so much joy in her heart. She hurriedly approached him. "General," she spoke softly, "I am so glad to see you."
He smiled at her pleased reaction, "You look well. How do you feel?"
"I feel fine. I imagine that any day now I should have my child."
"We miss you on the field. It has taken us three nurses to do the job that you did." Thomas informed her, "We would like to see you return once you have your child."
She quickly frowned and glanced away at the remark. Her mind did not wish to recall the world of the field hospitals. It did not wish to think about death. She only wanted to think of life.
"Why the long face, Eloise? Was it something I said?"
"Is that why you came here?" She ignored his question, "To take me back to the butchery? I will not go, sir. If that is all you desire, General, please excuse yourself from my presence."
"I came to see how you were fairing." He motioned toward the other officer who was gathering crates from the car, "and bring some salvaged supplies to the orphanage. I figured that you may be in need."
She grew silent at the thought of her own selfish reaction. Her eyes scanned the area watching the nuns happily receive items that had became scarce because of the war.
"Forgive me for being rude, sir. I just can't imagine the thought of returning." Eloise apologized softly, glancing back at Thomas.
"I know have not came as often as I should have, but there is a war going on and I can't leave those men to die."
She nodded, "I didn't expect you too, sir. I have done fairly well here." She shrugged, reminiscing the time that had passed. "What is the war looking like on the outside?"
Thomas glanced around. "It is getting bad." She could sense the tenseness in his body. "I have been on the frontlines. Some things I have seen are unimaginable."
Eloise thought for a moment and took him by the hand, hoping to ease him momentarily. "You are not there now. Let your mind escape no man's land."
"You know better than anyone," he paused to shake his head, "one does not escape no man's land."
Her mind returned back to a place where she hated—a place she had longed to forget, but couldn't. The faces of men burned and butchered haunted her thoughts. She could see their dying eyes, pleading for peace in her sleep. She quickly tried to shake the memories away, but they lingered like the fragments of stardust in the skies.
"I need to help the Lieutenant with the supplies." Thomas quickly remarked, moving past Eloise.
She nodded and calmly returned to the same step which she occupied daily. Her eyes always returned to Thomas as he walked near her. She studied his movement—movements that vividly reminded her of Albert. She shook the thoughts away from her mind and watched the children playing among themselves.
A stirring movement at her side alerted her for a moment. It was Thomas, who began playing with children. For a moment true happiness beamed from the emotionless eyes of the medical general. The jovial sight brought a smile to her face as she watched them. The heavily worn ball rolled to meet her feet. She glanced down at it and took it into her hands. As she poorly tossed it back the children laughed. Peace had exposed itself once again in the barren lands of war.
She gently leaned back on the steps. The cool sensation of the shaded bricks momentarily eased the aches that had formed in her back. Her eyes closed for a moment, taking in the content scene in her mind. It was a rare occurrence to see true happiness, yet there it was beaming from all parties who were playing. She soon felt the warmth on her feet vanish, causing her to return to the world. To her dismay Thomas stood in front of her. Sweat beaded around his forehead as he sat down beside her.
"Is this what you always do?" He asked, motioning at the step.
"Yes, sir. This is nothing else I really can do in my condition." She placed her hands on her stomach once again. "The women won't let me do any of the daily chores anymore. We are expecting this child to come at any moment now."
"Well, Eloise," Thomas spoke cheerily as he rose, "It is such a beautiful day. Would you like to accompany for a walk? There is no harm in that. We will go slowly and if you feel discomfort we will return."
Thomas outstretched his hand. Eloise stared at it blankly for several seconds before taking it. He quickly entwined his arm with hers as they began their walk. A calming silence was among them. Neither had much to say, just the company of a familiar person was all either wanted. They listened as the birds around them sang a summer song. Neither could hear the sounds of war or the song of death ringing. For that moment there was peace in the air.
"It is very nice here." Thomas said.
Eloise agreed kindly, looking around. "It is, but it is also lonely at times. I am glad you came by. I really needed to see a familiar face."
"I am glad I stopped by as well. It has helped me to clear my mind from where I have been."
Eloise did not ask about what he had saw. She could tell by the spaced look in his eyes that he had saw unspeakable horrors. A calming sense had come over him as they walked together.
"The children they admire you. I see them watch your every move carefully." Thomas spoke, glancing over at her momentarily. "I see you watch them as well."
"I watch the children to try and understand them." She confessed, hanging her head low. "I fear I will not know how to be a good mother."
"I am sure it will come naturally to you. You are a good woman who cares very deeply."
Eloise remained silent. Her growing fears remained no matter what his words said. Eloise had seen reality. She knew that a child in the war was always going to be at risk. They would always have peace stripped away from them. Reality was the greatest enemy to her mind, and she could not simply fight it.
"I think we should be returning to the house."
"But we just started, Eloise." Thomas argued.
Eloise offered him a smile as she turned to walk away. Just as she moved, a sharp pain surged through her back. She let out a cry and grasped her aching muscles. Alarm instantly came on Thomas as he rushed toward her.
"Are you alight?"
Eloise held onto his arm and nodded, "Yes. These surges have been happening for the past few days. Things are changing." She let out another groan as the pains passed again. "This time it feels different. I think it is time for my child to be born."
Thomas wrapped his arm around her body and held her steadily. An instant wave of fear coursed through her as she took a trembling step. He helped her walk back to the house. The playing children quickly became excited at the sight of them. They followed behind Eloise closely, eagerly talking amongst themselves. One of the women scolded the gaggle and forced them to stop their trail. Eloise looked back at them and meekly smiled.
"Let's get you inside." Thomas remarked, helping her walk into the house.
Thomas held tightly to her arms as he led her down the dimly lit hall. He swung the door of her room. With the help of a nun, Thomas laid her back against the neatly made bed. His steady hands began to work quickly, pulling up the hem of her dress. She instinctually smacked his hand away from her body.
"Eloise?" He asked confused at her actions.
"I don't want you to look at me!" Eloise shouted at Thomas, who had begun preparations. He let out a light chuckle under his breath but did not speak.
"I see your laughter. Do you think I intend on being humorous, sir?"
He shook his head, "No, ma'am."
"Then why are you snickering?"
He rested a steady hand on her shoulder and stared at her intensely, "because you are being the most prudish woman I have ever seen. This is childbirth, nothing more."
"Forgive me, General. I am only nervous." Her voice apologetically trembled as she watched him closely. She felt her face grow flushed once he exposed her body.
Thomas nodded and became silent as he inspected her condition. The time began to tick slowly. Minutes turned to hours. Thomas remained at her side, checking her status continually throughout the day. Dull aches would form then surge violently through her body, bringing forth uncontrollable groans. Above all, she wished for it to all be over.
Thomas took her by the hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She glanced at him and weakly smiled. Her eyes closed as her breathing intensified. The ache she felt in her intimate area let her know that time was close.
"Eloise, I want you to begin pushing for me." Thomas coaxed her kindly, looking up at her.
She let out one deep breath before she began to push. The pains coursed throughout her body, forcing her to let out a cry of pain. After minutes of desperate tries, her body stopped the heave for a moment. She quickly caught her stolen breath. One of the nuns patted her face with a cool cloth, easing the tenseness that formed in her head. She offered the woman a kind smile before beginning the process again.
"You are doing good, Eloise." Thomas reassured her, "Just keep doing like you are and you will soon be a mother."
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Words rested on her tongue but were unable to escape the exhaustion. The routine of birth started again. With a hearty push, the cry of the child echoed through the room. A wave of mixed emotions flooded over Eloise as she rested her tired body.
Thomas took the child into his hands and looked up at her with a wide smile. "You are the mother of a son."
He took a linen cloth from the women and gently wrapped the child. She watched him carefully as he delivered the child into her arms. A strain of laughter combined with tears came from Eloise as she cradled baby in her arms. She looked down at his face admiring the features he possessed. Her finger traced around his small body.
"What is his name?"
Eloise thought for only a moment before speaking, "Ulrich Albert," She paused, stroking the cheek of her son, "Ulrich for my father, Albert for his father."
Her heart felt a wave of relief. The name of Albert had slipped from her mouth in conversation with another person. He was no longer an imaginary person in the eyes of those around her—but a real man who was the father of her child.
"I'm sure his father would be proud." Thomas remarked taking a step back for the intrigued nuns to approach.
Each of the women offered her a form of congratulatory means before leaving the room. She could feel Albert with her in the room. Her eyes closed for a moment to imagine him with her. She thought of his voice telling her what he thought of Ulrich. She longed for him to be with her, to hold their child, but it was an impossible wish. When she opened her eyes, Thomas remained, watching her closely bond with her child.
"I should let you get some rest. I am sure you are exhausted." Thomas stated, turning to leave the room.
"Wait," she called out, forcing him to halt. "Thank you for helping me. I'm not sure what I would have done without you."
"You are a strong woman," Thomas smiled briefly, "I'm sure you would have handled it just as well without me. Get some rest."
Eloise nodded and watched him vanish in the doorway. The silence filled room as she cradled her newborn against her skin.
The morning sunlight pierced the dullness of the room. Eloise rubbed her sore eyes, allowing them to become adjusted to the brightness. She looked down at Ulrich resting peacefully beside her. She could feel the aches that remained in her body, knowing she would feel them for the days to come. At her beside was a freshly folded dress. A note attached read: I had the gracious nuns find you a new dress. I hope that this will make you feel better. She knew the handwriting as Thomas and discarded it. She was grateful for his help, but she did not wish for him to linger as he did.
Slowly she rose from the bed and staggered toward the covered vanity. As she stood the pains surged through her body. The ache in her back spiraled like a snake, bedding ferociously in the lower part. She eased down onto the stool and removed the linen that covered the mirror. The reflection that stared back at her was ragged and worn. She tugged at the skin under her eyes, pulling away the darkened circles that formed. The worn woman was a stranger—Eloise missed the old her.
A porcelain bowl sat beside a pitcher of water. She tiredly poured the clear liquid into the white container. Pain found its way into every corner of Eloise's tired body. The simple act of lifting a pitcher caused aches in places she did not know she could hurt. She dipped her hands into the cool water, cupping it toward her face. She allowed the water to cleanse the matted dirt and sweat from her face. The trickling of water droplets was a heavenly sensation in that moment.
She took the dress from nearby and smiled. The thought of a clean garment on her aching body was a pleasant thought. She tugged at the stained dress she wore and discarded it onto the floor. She pulled the black dress over her head and let it settle around her body. She could only let out a pained groan as it hugged around her. When she looked back into the mirror a more familiar face was appearing. It brought a small smile onto the corner of lips.
She was startled by the cry of Ulrich, whom she quickly retrieved. He went silent once in her calming arms. She carefully studied his peacefully resting face. For once in her life there was peace.
A gentle knock came from her door. When she opened it, Thomas stood proudly in full uniform. "How are you feeling today?"
Eloise shrugged, "As good as any woman can feel after just giving birth."
"And the little lad, how is he?"
Eloise lifted the resting child up in her arms, "He is well."
"Wonderful. I'm glad you both are well." Thomas remarked, looking at them intently. "I wanted to stop and tell you goodbye. I am returning to the hospital today. Take good care of yourself and the laddie, I won't be seeing you for a while."
"Thank you for everything you have done." Eloise graciously answered. She noticed the way that Thomas looked at Ulrich. "Would you like to hold him?"
Thomas was taken aback by the question. He instantly became guarded as Eloise outreached the baby toward him.
"I shouldn't."
"It is only a baby. You will still be the cold general you are even after you hold him." Eloise saw a slight smile flicker on his face, before it vanished into nerves.
He looked down at the child in her arms before opening his up. Thomas took the small child into his arms and stared intently at it. Eloise carefully watched him interact with her son. She could sense the pain he felt as he held Ulrich close.
"You are in pain." Eloise mentioned as she neared him. "I can see it."
"I am not in pain."
"Why won't you admit it? I can tell that it hurts you to hold my son."
Thomas remained silent as he looked at the baby. "I am military man. I don't feel anything."
"You are a man, and men have feelings just as a woman does." Eloise whispered, resting her hand on his cheek. Their eyes locked for several seconds. "Why don't you tell me what is hurting you?"
He sat silent for a moment before he spoke, "I had a wife once, who was much like you. She gave all of herself to everyone she loved. When we were expecting our first child, we were filled with much joy. We began our preparations. When the time came for her to have our child, complications arose." He grew silent as he stroked the soft head of the baby. "She gave her life for our child, and the child lived only a day. I thought it would at least live. There was given a life for a life, yet they were both taken from me. I died then as well, until the military found me. I have not held a baby since I held my own, until now." He looked up at Eloise, emotions flooding his face.
"What were their names?"
"My wife was Elizabeth," his voice began to shake. "and my son was named John after my late father. I loved them more than I could ever love myself. My heart died with them."
Eloise placed her hand on his knee and laid her head upon his shoulder. "Close your eyes, and think about them."
She watched him shut his eyes tightly. When his eyes opened, they met with Eloise. The two stared intently for several seconds before she looked away. A quietness succumbed the space between them. Eloise took the child back into her arms. Thomas kept his eyes fixated on Eloise, watching her every move carefully.
"Be careful, General." She spoke softly, "I would hate to hear the death of such a good man."
He nodded, "You do the same. A woman like you needs to live forever."
Without thinking, Eloise took him into a tight embrace. Once she realized what she was doing, she quickly released him. Her stare became empty and cold as stepped away from him. He only nodded at her before disappearing down the hallway.
Thanks for reading! Please remember to vote and comment. I love to see feedback from the readers.
xx
SJ.