*CAW CAW has created a group chat with Spy*
CAW CAW
hello
Peter
what is this
CAW CAW
I figured that since spy already knows I messaged you then a group chat was our only option
Spy
This is a horrible idea
Peter
this is a wonderful idea :D
CAW CAW
how was escuelando peter
Peter
It's escuela
and it was good
CAW CAW
im pretty sure it's escuelando
I took Spanish my freshman year so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Peter
1) that emoticon is just slightly different than it's supposed to be and I hate it
2) i'm in ap spanspan my dood
Spy
AP Spanish? Wowowo
CAW CAW
we have an Einstein on our hands ladies and gentlemen
Peter
hey brb I'm bouta exuent the outdoors and enter the abode in which I reside
CAW CAW
You mean go inside ? 😂
Spy
why are you saying bye if you're just walking inside your house?
...
CAW CAW
he's already gone nat
Spy
yes Clint
yes he is
____
I think one of my least favorite parts of my day is going home. I just hate to see May like she always is.
May never recovered after Ben's death. She's still my aunt, she still tries her hardest...but she isn't quite normal, I guess? Then again, I am part spider, so who really gets to define the word 'normal' here?
When I walk in, I see May leaning forwards against the countertop, a glass of wine in hand. She's staring down at a picture. I don't even need to see the picture to know what's in it.
"You miss him." I state, rather than question. The fact that she's having wine at 3 in the afternoon is a little disconcerting, first of all. But it's not unexpected.
Now, do not get me wrong—May is not an alcoholic, okay? She just has things she needs to work through and I guess alcohol helps her do that...?
"I do." She murmurs and takes another sip of her white Chardonnay. Ever since I was bitten by that radioactive spider, my senses had been constantly dialed up to, lik, 17 bajillion. I've generally learned how to handle the intense feelings, sounds, tastes—whatever. But the one smell that my enhanced senses are not able to handle is alcohol. It either sends me vomiting all over everything within a 4 foot radius or I end up doubled over with a sensory overload. And hate to say it, but the entire apartment reeks of alcohol. It has since the day Ben died. Whether it be 5 glasses or just 1, May has a drink everyday. Coming home is sensory suicide for me.
I've never told May this, of course, because alcohol seems to help her cope with Ben being gone. I know he died a little over 3 years ago, so it's been a while, but I mean people grieve in their own ways, right?
"How was school?" She turns to me with a sad smile on her face. The smell has yet to hit me, but I know as soon as I reach the kitchen, it'll take me down.
"Good." I murmur from where I stand in the doorway. I rarely see May due to the fact that I can't be anywhere in the apartment besides my room without spewing like a fire hose. "How was work?"
"Good." She sighs as she turns back to the photo. Her eyes wander over it for another moment before she places it face-down on the countertop. I can feel my phone buzzing a few times in my pocket. "You want a snack?"
Oh, I would love a snack. I'm starving. "Oh, no thanks." I scratch the back of my head.
The consequence of not being able to handle the smell of alcohol means I don't get to sit down for dinner or eat breakfast in the kitchen. May packs me a lunch sometimes, but other times, she has a 48 hour shift and can't. She always tries to leave snacks for me though. I think she just believes I can't handle being in the apartment because it reminds me of Ben. And while it's true that the apartment reminds me of Ben, that's not my issue.
"You sure?" She bunches her eyebrows at me with concern. I never told May about Spider-Man. In fact, the only people that know about my alter ego are Ned and MJ.
"Yeah." I smile back at her, to encourage the idea that everything is fine.
She gives me a lopsided smile, "Why don't you take your coat off? Make yourself at home." She laughs as she gestures to the rest of the apartment. I give her a small laugh in return and neglect to move even an inch.
After taking a deep breath, I walk in and stand in the living room for a moment, holding my breath now. After a moment, "What's been going on with you? I know this apartment reminds you of him, but I think it's a little ridiculous that you can't even stand in it without running to your room." She sighs heavily and downs the rest of her drink.
I scoff, then take a deep breath in to share my opinion, "What—?"
I realize my mistake.
Immediately, the smell overwhelms my senses and sends nausea gushing through my stomach, flushing out any food I might have left in it. Covering my mouth with my hand, I run to my bedroom and slam the door. Dashing to the bathroom, I puke up everything in my stomach right into the toilet.
After around 5 minutes, ending in just vomiting up stomach acid, I lean back against the bathroom wall and take a few deep breaths. The nausea has yet to subside.
My phone buzzes 3 more times. I groan and yank it out of my pocket.
_____
CAW CAW
I don't know, I like to think the pouches on kangaroos lead to a tiny world in which all kangaroo pouches lead
like another dimension where kangaroos reside
I mean, have you ever see a kangaroo?
Spy
I mean no I guess
CAW CAW
Exactly
Because they're all in the kangaroo pouch dimension
Peter
What in the hell is going on
Spy
Peter!
CAW CAW
hello young padawan
Spy
What's goin on in Peter town
Peter
I need you guys to distract me
CAW CAW
Why? What's up?
Spy
Everything okay?
Peter
I just need a distraction
Please
*?? and ??? have been added to the chat*
???
what in the hell is this
CAW CAW
welcome to the kangaroo pouch dimension
??
Excuse me?
Spy
WHY WOULD YOU ADD THEM TO THIS CHAT
CAW CAW
well peter needs a distraction
these guys entertain me a lot, at least
Spy
are you referring to the literal war they held against each other?
CAW CAW
that's what makes it so entertaining :D
Peter
Who are they?
Spy
we aren't doing real names guys
safety first
Peter
But you know my name
It's only fair
CAW CAW
fairness doesn't matter in the eyes of mortal destruction
???
You've been watching too much star wars
Peter
There's no such thing
???
Okay, so if we don't use our names then wtf are we supposed to call ourselves
Spy
Idk
Let the kid make something up
??
Kid? Is this random number a kid?
Peter
I'm not a kid
(；￣Д￣)
??
How old are you, then?
Peter
I am one BILLION years old
???
hey! you and steve might have smth in common then!
Spy
HEY
I SAID NO NAMES
???
eat me
Spy
I'd much rather stab you
Peter
Spy!!! no being meany right now
I need you guys to take my mind off stuff
??
Why? What's going on?
Peter
A lot
I don't wanna talk about it right now
Spy
That's totally okay
CAW CAW
Tell me everything at once within the time span of one second
???
God, Clint leave the kid alone
Clint
speaking of god
*???? has been added to the chat*
????
What is this mysterious group of word bubbles
Spy
It's called a group chat ?
????
this 'group chat' proves to be a new challenge
A godlike challenge mayhaps
I will understand you, small device
???
dumbass
Peter
Woah woah woah
You people need names or everything is going to fall into anarchy and chaos
???
I dub myself
Mr. Cool
Peter
Printer it is then
*???'s nickname has been changed to "Printer"*
Printer
What? I said Mr. Cool?
Peter
I thought you said printer
¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯
Printer
Why the fuck would I say printer?
Spy
hey
watch your dirty ass mouth
no cursing in my fucking chat
Printer
hypocrite
??
Language.
Come on people.
Printer
Oh fuck off betty white
Peter
Lmao why betty white?
Printer
Because he's old asf
Peter
Old it is then
*??'s nickname has been changed to "Old"*
Old
I do not approve of this.
Printer
You don't approve of anything
The only thing you do approve of is being up at 7 AM and inhaling your protein powder like it's crack cocaine
Old
Please don't insinuate drugs being okay in front of a kid, Tony.
Spy
NAMES PEOPLE, NAMES
CAW CAW
Does no one else care about this kangaroo pouch theory?
Peter
So printer's name is Tony ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Printer
I could not care backwards sideways or upside down what you call me kid
I got bigger fish to fry
Spy
You know everyone's names at this point, don't you, Peter?
Peter
...yes...
CAW CAW
prove it
Peter
so we have
Clint
Natasha
Tony...?
and Steve I believe
CAW CAW
That rhymes
Peter
bUt
I do not know ????'s name
Printer
Thor?
Peter
Did you just call him Thor? 😂
????
hello
Printer
Thor have you been ghosting through this chat the entire time
????
I am no ghost
Are you insinuating that I am dead
Let me tell you something, mortal
I am thor odinson, god of—
Spy
POP TARTS
????
WHERE
CAW CAW
O-o
*???'s nickname has been changed to "Pop Tarts"*
Pop Tarts
WHERE ARE THE TARTS
Spy
Well I guess now you know everyone's name
God I suck at my job
Peter
:)
CAW CAW
let's add more of a challenge here
*? and ?? have been added to the chat*
Peter
Oh this is going to be mass chaos
CAW CAW
That's what makes it wonderful
?
Why am I here
Printer
In this chat
Or alive
?
Whichever really
Old
Oh, don't be so depressing, Bucky.
?
It's called DARK HUMOR STEVE
Peter
hello buckaroony
?
How the hell do you know my name
Peter
old just said it
?
Who is old
Printer
You are lmao
Peter
He is old too?!
CAW CAW
I think he's actually older than old himself
And far deadlier
Peter
wow
that's pretty old
CAW CAW
he also has a fake arm
Peter
WHAT
?
hey
Why share that
Peter
That is SO COOL
ARE YOU TEXTING WITTH BOTH THUMBS
?
You think it's cool?
Not like
Weird?
Peter
I think that is insanely rad my dood
?
Thanks
*?'s nickname has been changed to "Cool"*
Spy
You can't see him Peter
but he's smiling
Printer
HEY
COOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY NAME
Peter
You guys live together??
Printer
We all do
Courtesy of moi ^*^
Peter
Wowowow
That's gotta be fun
Like one giant sleepover
Spy
Sometimes its cool
Sometimes it just make it easier for me to strangle them
Which reminds me
If any of you harass this child in any way
I will destroy you
Printer
What child
Spy
Peter
Printer
Is that who this random number is
CAW CAW
Yes
Old
The kid's name is Peter?
Cool
That's what everyone just said steve
Old
Don't make me come over there and steal your arm.
Cool
You wouldn't dare
Peter
Do you really think he's stealing his arm
CAW CAW
I'm literally watching it happen right now
Cool
Heyy
Noit foar
Printer
LMAO
HES TRYING TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There they go
Peter
Is cool chasing him
Spy
Oh they are in a dead sprint
and old calls you a child
Peter
HA
_____
Yeah, that was definitely the distraction I needed. Pulling myself back up to my feet, I shove the extra wave of nausea back down into my stomach and walk back into my room.
I reach my hand into my backpack and pull out my suit, staring down at it with mixed emotions. I'm worried that if I go try to swing around the city, a few citizens might experience an unexpected rainfall of vomit.
Well, I guess I'll try it anyways. Fingers crossed.
Leaping off my window sill, I dive right into the messy, crime-ridden city with a freeing smile on my face and a phone full of unread messages.
_______
Sorry it's been a few days, I had to retrieve my soul crushing tools for poor peter parker and it took a phat second
hope you guys are staying safe! i love you, my cookie children
I shall update soon I promise :D
-bucket of green tea