the days after the funeral Gilbert was very quiet. you still visited every day, but Gilbert was busy most of the time. you didn't know what he was doing, he didn't talk about it, it bothered you a little.
You could see he wasn't doing okay, yet he wouldn't let you help him. you figured it was normal since he was grieving and everything, but you wished there was something you could do.
all you could do was try and cheer him up. you went on walks with him or baked stuff together, it only worked for a few minutes, but you loved seeing his smile.
you were waiting for Gilbert at his front door. you were planning on taking a walk. the door opened behind you and you smiled. "hey" you said as you gave him a hug.
"hi" he said letting out a small chuckle as he hugged you back feeling your hair tingle in his face.
butterflies erupted in his stomach again and he sighed softly. he hated that he couldn't even give you a hug without his thoughts going crazy.
he pulled away with a bright red face as you started walking. "did you sleep well?" you asked.
Gilbert nodded. "yea I slept fine" he said as he looked around at the snow.
"I'm glad" you said smiling softly.
"you're worried about me aren't you?" Gilbert asked with a chuckle.
"well... yea... you're so quiet" you say.
"you don't have to worry about me, I just miss him." Gilbert said.
you nodded. "that's only normal, but I just hate seeing you sad" you said.
"let's have a snowball fight" Gilbert said quickly changing the subject. he knew he could talk to you about anything, but right know he just didn't wanna think about it, which was impossible unless you were there.
"you sure? I'll beat your ass." you said smirking.
"hmm we'll see about that" Gilbert said grabbing some snow from the ground.
you squealed as you ran away from him and dodged his snowball. then you threw one right in his face. "I told you I'd beat y-"
you got cut off by a snowball in your neck. Gilbert laughed as he watched you squeal.
"god that's cold!" you yelled shivering.
"I noticed" Gilbert said chuckling as he walked up to you.
"I should be heading back soon, my mom will get worried." you said.
"I'll walk with you." he said smiling. you returned the smile. "remember when I tickled somewhere over here?" Gilbert asked with a mischievous look.
"oh don't you dare!" you yelled as Gilbert smirked.
he tickled you anyway. his hands were cold causing you to squeal. you ran away, but Gilbert was faster. he threw himself at you causing you both to fall to the ground.
you laughed loudly as Gilbert tickled you harder. "stop... Gilbert!" you yelled.
Gilbert stopped still a smirk on his face. "that was for throwing that snow into my shirt." he said standing up.
you chuckled as Gilbert stretched his arm out to help you. you took it and he pulled you up causing you to almost bump into him, your face was inches away from his.
Gilbert's heart immediately started beating faster as his eyes focused on your lips. he lost all self-control and leaned in crashing his lips on yours. something exploded in his stomach, right before you pushed him off.
you stared at him in shock. "Gilbert... what was that?" you asked.
Gilbert's face was completely flustered. he was panicking and mentally scolding himself. "I don't know... I guess it was just an in the moment kinda thing..." he said softly.
you nodded. "yea..." you said as you started to walk on with your thoughts spinning around in your head.
"you know what screw that." Gilbert said causing you to turn around.
"what?" you asked.
"Y/n I'm in love with you." he said looking at you, hoping you felt the same, but deeply down knowing you didn't.
"Gilbert I uhh... I don't... I never... I don't feel the same..." you said softly.
Gilbert felt his heart shattering into pieces. he nodded. "I... I should go" Gilbert said. he turned around and ran away before you could try to stop him. tears streaming down his face.
I lost her didn't I?
god I'm so stupid!
you walked home feeling confused. you never noticed any signs of Gilbert liking you. none whatsoever, and then he just kisses you?
you frowned approaching your house. you went inside, walking towards your brother's room.
"Tyler I need some help." you said walking in without knocking.
Tyler looked up from his book. "what's wrong?" he asked, when he saw your face.
"Gilbert... he uhm... he kissed me?" you said softly. "and I think I really hurt his feelings, but I don't know what to say." you said looking at your brother, desperately hoping he would have some good advice.
"I'm not very good with that type off stuff Y/n." Tyler said.
you sighed. "I don't know what to do, how am I able to be friends with him after this" you said, tears forming in your eyes.
"he's been in love with you for years Y/n, nothing changes." Tyler said.
"wait you knew!?" you asked frowning.
"got suspicious and asked" Tyler said shrugging.
"well I guess you're right, he's still Gilbert. I'm gonna need some time to get used to it though." you said.
"I think he'll understand, he's your best friend" Tyler said laying a hand on your shoulder.
"now would you let me study?" he asked with a smile.
you chuckled. "yea... sorry"
you stayed up late that night, not being able the get that stupid kiss out of your head. you wished he'd never done it. then everything wouldn't be this complicated and you could just hold him while he talked to you about his father. like friends are supposed to do.
you thought about it and maybe you guys were a little too close sometimes with the hand holding and the cuddling, but that was you comforting him. maybe he thought you liked him back. that would be awful, the last thing you want to do is hurt his feelings, because you loved him, just not in the way he wanted you to.
you sighed as you closed your eyes falling asleep.
Gilbert on the other hand didn't sleep at all. he was packing his bags since he was leaving tomorrow morning. he had been doubting his decision, but after today he felt like he had lost the only thing that kept him going. he hated that he was leaving without saying goodbye, but he couldn't face you now. he was so embarrassed. his heart ached as he stuffed a photo of you and him together in his suitcase. He left early that morning with warm tears streaming down his cheeks.
you woke up the next morning deciding to visit Gilbert and talk to him about what happened.
you werent sure what you were going to say, but you made sure you wouldn't hurt his feelings even more.
why is this so complicated.
you walked out of your house putting on a warm coat as you breathed in the fresh air. you walked quickly past the spot where he kissed you yesterday. it was engraved in your mind.
you saw Gilbert's house coming closer. your heart started beating faster, maybe this was a bad idea, maybe you should give him some more time. you sighed.
I didn't walk all the way here for nothing.
you took a deep breath and knocked on Gilbert's door. no response. you frowned as you knocked again, maybe he was still asleep.
you walked over to the window and peeked through. you gasped as you saw all the furniture covered in white sheets.
he left?
tears started streaming down your face.
he's my best friend he wouldn't just leave me here.
you sat down on his porch processing what was happening. your best friend was gone, he didn't say goodbye and didn't leave a note.
you stood up and ran home. you slammed your front door behind you barging into your brothers room. "he left! he just.... oh I'm sorry, hi Anne" you said.
"Y/n what's wrong? who left?" your brother asked as he wrapped his arms around you after seeing your tear stained face.
"Gilbert, he left me... without saying goodbye." you sniffled.
Anne looked at you sympathetically.
"I'm sorry for disturbing you, I'll leave you alone." you said after you calmed down. you pulled away from Tyler's embrace and walked out sending him a wink.
you wondered why Anne was there, maybe your brother liked her. you could try and get them together, it would help get your mind of things...
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