Someone pressed my doorbell just around nine. It was a few minutes past.
I stood, removed the blanket and went to the intercom. Who would drop by now? Maybe I had a small group of friends here, but they usually never turned up past nine out of nowhere. Or, they didn't stop by unless it was planned, to be honest. I hadn't invited anyone.
"Yes?" I answered the buzzing.
There was a long silence. Was this some sort of joke?
"Can I come up?"
"Alexander?" I asked. The crackled voice could be Alexander's voice.
"Yes," he said.
"Okay," I said and hit the button so he'd be allowed to walk up the stairs. This time he didn't just appear outside my front door.
It was a while before he knocked on my door.
I checked in the peephole. It was Alexander.
I removed the chain and opened the door.
Something had happened. That was the only thing I knew for sure. Anything else? No.
He stepped into the tiny hallway, and I locked the door. I also put the chain back.
"Hi," I said. "What are you doing here?" I asked. He was in running clothes, like the one other time where he'd been here. There weren't any smell of sweat, and his hair was wet.
He took a deep breath and pulled me into a hug.
Uhm?
I put my arms around his waist. "What's going on?" I asked against his shirt.
He let me go as if I'd hit him or something.
"Take off your shoes and come in," I said and looked at him.
"Now it's you who's ordering me around," he noticed and stepped out of his shoes.
"Probably," I said and grabbed his hand. I guided him into the living room and sat down on the couch. I wrapped the blanket around myself again.
He sat down on the couch and looked at the TV.
There was something about him that just didn't fit into this flat.
"Have you ever lived someplace this small?" I asked.
He turned his head to face me. "I lived in a college dorm," he said.
"Doesn't count."
"Then no," he said.
I smiled.
"Why?"
"You don't look like someone who could live on this little space," I said.
His eyebrows dived down causing his eyes to be in shadows, he didn't say a word.
Okay. What was up?
He pulled his leg up on the couch and lied down, his head in my lap.
My hands were lifted, as if someone pointed a gun at me. "What are you doing?" I asked quietly. What the hell was he doing?
He closed his eyes without answering.
Mm. What was I supposed to do?
He laid still, head in my lap, legs bended slightly. And then on my couch?
What sort of parallel world was this?
I put my hand on his shoulder, the other on the couch.
"Alexander? What are you doing?" I asked gently.
He sighed silently. "I have no idea why I trust you this much," he remarked quietly.
I smiled. "Natural charm?"
He snorted. Yeah right," he muttered gloomy.
"Then what happened since you're here now?" My hand was on his shoulder, which seemed tense like nothing else.
"I met my mother," he growled.
"It doesn't sound like you have any issues whatsoever regarding your mother," I said without understanding a word of anything.
"My biological mother," he said quietly and shook his head.
"Do you want to elaborate?"
"No," he said.
Okay then. I looked towards the TV. My hand was still on his shoulder, or upper arm, however it fitted when he was lying on his side like this, the other hand on the arm rest.
I didn't say anything, and Alexander was a quiet as the grave.
My gaze flickered to his face.
His eyes were open and were gazing towards the TV. Or so it appeared.
I looked back at the TV. What was I even watching? Some TV-show with commercials all the freaking time.
The commercial was just coming to an end.
I leaned back against the backrest and focused on the series. It was good, but it wasn't like I was watching it religiously every night.
By the next commercial break I peeked down at Alexander again.
His eyes were still open, gazing in the direction of the TV.
I didn't really get this. Why was his biological mother such bad news? I wondered how old he was when he was adopted? I would ask him, but now was not the time to pump him for details.
"Have you had a nice day?" he asked.
"Nice and easy," I said. "I'm just glad it's weekend now."
He smiled.
"Do you have any weekend plans?"
He shook his head lightly. "A little work I have to look at, but that's about it."
Now I did enjoy spending time with him. When he said something, and when he only scowled at me sometimes if I noticed he wanted to decide what I should do.
"Can we meet?" I asked.
"And what?" Alexander asked.
"Go for a walk," I said. "Maybe in Central Park, I've seen you've got a nice view."
He nodded carefully. "We can do that," he said. "Do you still mean you want to force me to cook?"
"No," I said. "I'm not forcing you, but I really want to cook something with you so Harry doesn't think you'll burn everything."
He knitted his brow slightly. "Did he?"
"When we cooked the burgers," I said. "He was determined you couldn't cook food unless it was burned."
Alexander smiled. "I can, but they don't want to eat chicken every time they visit."
"So maybe it's for the better you've got too much money and can pay a housekeeper."
He laughed. "I don't have too much money, I've earned them and I know how I make more."
"I don't doubt that," I said and looked at the TV. The commercials had come to an end.
Alexander didn't comment on it, and I focused my attention on the TV.
We were meeting up during the weekend.
By the next commercial break, he lifted his hand and scratched his cheek.
"Which day would you prefer to work? Tomorrow or Sunday?" I asked.
"Doesn't matter," he said.
"So tomorrow?" I suggested.
He nodded.
"I can stop by after lunch?" I offered.
"Then I can work tomorrow morning, it's not that much," he said.
"Then I'll see you tomorrow," I said. "What do you think we should cook?"
"Simple food."
"There are a lot of things that are simple to cook."
He didn't reply.
I looked back at the TV. The commercial break was just over.
The silence between us was only broken by the TV's sounds. The sounds of the series. I surprised myself by stroking his shoulder with my thumb. My gaze flickered down to what I was doing and then back to the TV.
It was probably a weird thing to do.
I relaxed my hand and focused on the TV.
My gaze flickered to his face during the commercials.
His eyes were closed.
I wasn't breaking that one.
I looked back at the TV.
Something about this was innocent and nice. I was glad I was wearing pants this time. He could say what he wanted, but he was still looking at me in a certain way. Now I'd made it pretty clear I wasn't sleeping with him, but he'd hinted at it a few times.
Not while Harry, Owen and Julia was there, but otherwise. As in the car when he stated he knew what I was wearing beneath my dress.
And he'd done it again that morning by standing too close. Way too close. So close I stepped to the side to make him stop. Even though he did it, I didn't want to put my foot down and make him stop it. When I thought I'd do it the next time, he stopped by himself.
He wasn't easy to get to know.
And the way Julia had been glued to him last Saturday?
He sat on the floor, legs wide, Julia sitting leaned back against him with a teddy bear in her arms. She was sitting there and watching Owen and Harry while Alexander had an arm around her and talked with the boys.
I loved he was so relaxed with them. I had thought, when he asked, that he couldn't stand being around children, and that he dreaded having to look after three at the same time. But it hadn't been like that at all.
The commercials ended.
I finished watching the show and looked down at Alexander. It looked like he was sleeping.
Why did he come here if he just wanted to sleep?
I reached for the remote and changed the channel, without waking him.
I reached a music channel and turned down the sound.
Something was vibrating.
My phone wasn't on vibration, and I could see it on the coffee table. Black and motionless.
I looked at Alexander.
Was it his?
I lifted my hand from his shoulder and found the pocket in his sports jacket.
It was vibrating.
I unzipped the pocked and looked at the screen.
Jazz? Okay I could answer that one. And then say he should probably come pick up Alexander.
I answered the phone.
"Hi Jazz," I said.
"A... Who am I speaking to?" he asked.
"Christina," I said. Did he know other Christina's? Then I'd take it from there.
"Can I ask why you are answering Mr. Greene's phone?" he asked.
I looked at Alexander. He hadn't moved an inch, and his eyes were still closed. "Alexander fell asleep on my couch," I said. "I thought I'd see who was calling and then wake him up so he could answer."
Jazz didn't answer in what felt like forever.
The moment continued to stretch out between us.
I moved the phone and checked the display. It was still Jazz, and we were connected.
I put the phone up to my ear again.
It didn't sound as if he'd said anything.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," he said.
"Okay, I'll wake Alexander."
"Goodbye, miss," he said.
"Bye," I said. At least he didn't call me ma'am. I was struggling with that one.
I hung up and put the phone on the coffee table.
"Alexander?" I asked.
He didn't react.
I ran my fingers through his hair because I had the chance.
"Alexander?" I asked. I shook him gently.
He tensed and then relaxed.
"You're sleeping," I said.
He rubbed sleep form his eye and glanced towards the TV. "What time is it?" It sounded like an order.
"A few minutes past ten," I said.
He sat up straight and looked at me. "Past ten?" he thundered?
I nodded. "Jazz called, he'll be here in fifteen minutes."
Alexander's eyebrows dived down.
Alexander in a very mad version wasn't something I'd seen before.
"Why are you mad?" I asked.
"Nothing," he snapped.
"And I'm the Easter Bunny," I said quietly. So quietly he wouldn't hear.
He stood, snatched his phone and left the room.
For fuck's sake!
Nine point nine out of ten times he was really nice and polite. And then this? Like the day that woman had been in his office and he'd been fuming.
I stood, put the blanket on the couch and went to the tiny hall.
He was on the phone. "I'm running home, Jazz," he said. Snapped.
He hung up, put the phone in his pocket and zipped it.
Was now a good time to bring up tomorrow? No, probably not.
He unlocked the door, removed the chain and looked at me.
"Sleep tight, Christina," he said gently.
"Sleep tight," I said. Even the blue in his eyes were gentle, not hard as I'd expected.
He left and slammed the door as he went.
I put the chain on and went to the living room. I opened a mail to Alexander.
Are we still seeing each other tomorrow?
Nothing more, nothing less. I hit send, turned off the TV and went to brush my teeth. If he wanted to be unreasonable and mad, then I wouldn't risk asking him. Then better write when I knew he was at a distance so he wouldn't freak out on me.
Before he would have gotten the chance to answer, or even see the mail, I turned off any kind of connection to the internet and went to bed.
Why had he fallen asleep like that? It wasn't like him to show he was just as human as everyone else. Showing up was one thing, that was cool. But to lie on me? It didn't feel like him. Like when I, Sunday morning, had found him sleeping on the couch with only a blanket.
It was so out of context in relation to how I usually perceived Alexander. I know no one could live without saying anything. Unless they were completely off the rid, but Alexander just didn't seem like someone who'd let anyone know he had a weak moment. That he'd ordered Jazz to not pick him up, fit the picture in my head a lot better.
He wouldn't be seen weak.
Would any of us?
I guess that was why he'd invited me along to those events. The idea that he, in any way, would appear as if he couldn't control everything would bring that up in him?
Now I was thinking about him, I might as well do it properly.
He had invited me that first time because it was an event on domestic violence. And I understood that one. He'd never hit me, but we'd been on that picture together where I had a bruise on my neck.
If he wasn't followed by the paparazzi it would be easier not to be with him.
But now, after having spent so much time together, I enjoyed our time together. His commanding moments were something I could live without, but it was the way he is, and other than him glowering at me when I pointed it out, life didn't seem to stop for that reason.
Opposite Christian Grey – I had no idea why I compared them – he didn't go for violence.
I wasn't scared of Alexander. I wasn't scared to argue with him, or tell him I didn't agree with him.
I stifled a yawn.
And he was good with children. Even though I hadn't thought about whether I wanted children or not, it meant a lot to me he could be around them. It wasn't because I knew I wouldn't have kids, but now I didn't have a boyfriend, I wouldn't worry myself with just that topic.
My curiosity got the better off me and I reached for my phone.
I connected it to Wi-Fi and opened my mail.
Christina,
I am counting on that. After lunch by my flat? See, a question mark, not a commando.
There is only a week until it's your birthday tomorrow. Do you have any plans, or am I allowed to invite you out, when it's your birthday?
Alexander
I wasn't sure why he added his name. We were texting each other? But maybe it was a business thing?
I bet my lip hesitantly.
My birthday was the following Saturday, so it made sense he'd asked about it. His birthday was in May or June. I would have to double check.
What did it say about me that I really wanted to let him invite me out?
I had plans Friday for lunch, meeting Elliot. I had invited Trisha and a few girlfriends from college to lunch Saturday. Dad was in Denmark.
They stayed until three, five at the latest. So I guess I wouldn't mind then?
On one condition – my birthday. You won't invite anyone else.
Okay, down before your building? Twelve thirty?
My heart was beating uncomfortable fast in my chest. Had I just written to him, sent the email, where it said I wanted it to be the two of us alone on my birthday?
What was wrong with me?!
I waited many agonizing seconds, two and a half minutes to be exact, before Alexander replied.
We can do that.
Four words. I got four words?
I swallowed, turned off Wi-Fi and put the phone away.
What was wrong with me?!
I pulled the comforter up to my chest, turned off the light and stared into the darkness.
We would meet tomorrow. It would all be okay. We were just friends, and I was actually looking forward to cooking with him. Something where he couldn't boss me around because he literally couldn't cook.