I sat with my legs criss crossed on the uncomfortable chair in the dimly lit dining room as I raked my fork lazily across the frosting that was heavily layered along the piece of chocolate cake I was staring into.
I couldn't stop thinking about him.
The ocean eyes, the curly untamed hair, the collection of tattoos, and the smile that made me want to risk it all.
Yeah well risking it all includes your freaking job Lena, I thought to myself.
If you haven't already guessed the obvious, of course I'm talking about Austin.
Just when I thought my physical attraction to him would be a concern, he just had to go and be all nice to me and buy my favorite food and make me laugh with his stupid sense of humor that seemed to match mine perfectly.
And let's not even mention the way he always stared deeply into my soul. Like he was trying to figure me out and undress me with his eyes all at the same time.
Either way, he made me feel like I was baring myself to him, inside and out.
As much as I knew I need to forget whatever mix of senseless feelings I had towards him, it's like I couldn't stop myself even if I tried. It's almost like I was drawn to him and the fact that I knew he was off limits, made him all the more appealing in my eyes.
But I could not get involved with the man I was working working. In any way possible.
"Lena?"
"Hmm? Yeah I'm listening." I looked up to Chris's concerned eyes as he waved his hand in front of my blank face, trying to draw in my attention.
I quickly snapped out of my daydream, embarrassed that I was caught completely distracted when he was trying to talk business with me. The whole reason I was on this fucking tour to being with.
"Hey, it's okay. We had a long day of traveling and shit. You're probably exhausted and I'm trying to push all this info on you."
"No, I'm sorry, I guess I just need to get some rest." I forced a smile, feeling slightly guilty for lying to Chris, who had been nothing but wonderful to me since the minute I got here.
"You don't wanna finish your dessert?" He asked as his eyes went to the piece of cake I was in the middle of destroying with my fork.
"Oh, um yeah. I'll finish it tomorrow. I'm still full from dinner." I explained as he looked a bit disappointed.
"Yeah sure. I'll let you get to bed. Goodnight beautiful." He gave me a friendly grin as he pushed his chair away from the dining room table and got up to walk away to his room.
Beautiful.
It was sweet of Chris to compliment me, just like it was sweet of him to bring me back dessert.
But as nice as he was to me, I just didn't see him in that way. My heart didn't back flip when he looked at me and my body didn't lose all of it's senses when I heard his voice.
Well how could it when there was someone else on this tour that was already responsible for doing all of those things?
Just as I was about to slump down in my chair and let out a hefty sigh, I heard a low rumble of bickering voices enter into my earshot.
They became louder and louder as the front door opened and quickly slammed shut.
"So that's it? I'm out of a job just like that?!" I heard Natalie's voice echoing from the living room.
"That's not what I said at all. You aren't listening." I instantly recognized Austin's calm voice in comparison with her angered one.
"Well I might as well be. All of sudden you want to stop wearing my outfits and wear street clothes? That's the worst idea I've ever heard." Her voice dripped with scorn as I heard Austin sigh loudly.
"I'm still going to wear your outfits here and there. Just not all the time."
"Whatever Austin. I'm done with this conversation."
I heard her loud footsteps fade into the distance and I nearly jumped out of my seat when I heard that same smooth voice right behind me, causing a small smile to tug at my lips.
"How was your dessert?"
I slowly sat up straight and tilted my head to the side as he walked into my view and took a seat next to me at the table.
"It was okay. I'm not very hungry though." I shrugged my shoulder as Austin looked down at the messy chocolate cake I had tore into pieces.
"Doesn't look very appetizing anymore." He chuckled earning a smile from me. "Too much sushi?"
"There's no such thing as too much sushi." I wrinkled my nose.
"I never thought I would admit this, but I actually agree with you. I think I have a new favorite food." He said, covering his face with his hand.
"Thank you Lena for introducing me to the world of good taste and extending my basic ass palette." I said with sarcasm.
"Alright alright are you done?" He stifled a laugh.
"Lena you are a genius, the smartest woman I have ever met!" I continued, uncontrollable laughter pouring from both of our lungs. "I had taste buds of a child before I met you."
"You are something Lena Meyers." He shook his head with a grin. "Thank you for forcing me to try new shit that I would have never tried otherwise."
"Of course. Oh-uh everything okay with Natalie?" I couldn't help but asked as those blue eyes blinked up to my face. "I heard you guys arguing. Well more of her yelling at you." I chuckled.
Austin threw his head back against the chair like the mention of her name alone raised his blood pressure.
"Ugh I don't understand that girl. She showed me a bunch of "new" designs that pretty much looked like shit I've worn before. And the she completely flipped out on me because I suggested wearing my own tee shirts and jeans to my upcoming concerts. Like it was such a horrible idea."
"Like you used to when Stoney first came out." I said as his eyebrows raised at my comment.
"Oh sounds like someone's been googling me. Watching old YouTube videos huh?" He smirked mischievously as he crossed one leg over the other.
"Don't flatter yourself. I was just curious." I teased as I stuck my tongue out towards him.
His eyes dropped to my mouth as he swallowed hard and ripped his gaze away from me, towards the ground.
"You like my music, don't even lie Lena. You told me I was incredible." The playful demeanor returning to his eyes and a hint of pink flushing at his cheeks.
"What can I say, I was put on the spot. Didn't wanna embarrass you in front of your team. " I smiled, obviously joking around.
"You're hilarious." He shook his head and returned his million dollar smile. "Well anyway, I don't understand what the big deal is with switching up my wardrobe. Like she wants me to be Post Malone all the fucking time up on stage. I just wanna be me and express myself in my own way sometimes. I should be able to wear whatever the fuck I want on my tour."
"I think wearing your own clothes is a cool idea. Post Malone is a persona, an idea. By starting your shows by saying your full legal name and wearing normal clothes, it really shows your fans that you're just a regular guy that does and wears the same shit they do regardless of having money and fame. Makes you more relatable in my opinion." I said as I tried to lift his spirits and support his reasoning.
"Exactly. That's exactly what I was thinking. You get it." He said quietly as began to do that thing again where he tried to make me get lost in his dreamy gaze.
"Well thank you for listening to my bullshit. I should probably meet Smitty in the living room for our video game date." He chuckled, saving me from completely drowning in the pools of blue that stared back at me. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." I said quietly in almost shy voice, not wanting our interaction to end.
I knew it was best for both of us not to have deep meaningful conversations when we were both very much attracted to one another. It was just going to get me in trouble and possibly kicked off this tour if I didn't control my feelings sooner or later.
I expected our conversation to end there and we would go our separate ways in the rented house as I pondered away at my thoughts, all the while still unable to tear my eyes away from the very man that I was scolding myself over.
But instead Austin uncrossed his legs, leaned forward close to me and moved his hand towards my thigh.
I held my breath tightly as I felt him trace his cold tattooed finger along my cursive tattoo, mimicking my actions from earlier that night.
My body raged with sparks and my mouth turned bone dry as I drank up every second of his touch.
"Beautiful." He mumbled, his eyes just barely catching mine before he got up from the table and walked off into the next room, leaving me alone to part my lips and finally gasp for air.