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The ride was silent, and the tension in the air was thick. You needed Dutch to explain why he will be all over you one minute, and then the second you were back at camp, he wouldn't even look at you. You also felt that you owed him an apology. Yes, he was the one that should apologize for not telling you about Molly, but you openly flirted with Javier just to get back at him.
You arrived at the same plot of land he took you to the night before. He got off his horse, and paced for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. You watched as the moonlight hit his face, showing his head was full of thoughts. You got off Anastasia and made your way over to him.
"Look we need to talk." You said.
"Y/n..." Dutch started.
"No. You always cut me off when I'm trying to talk to you and I'm tired of it. I deserve to be listened to as much as you do, so I'm starting this conversation." You snapped. It may have been a bit aggressive, but you were tired of him not listening to what you had to say. He slightly nodded, acknowledging your request.
"I need to understand what's going on. Why did you bring me out here when you could tell I felt something for you, make me feel like I was on top of the world, and then go back to camp and have your hands all over Molly, and not even look at me? You made me feel as if I was some type of toy." You said to him.
"I understand I should have told you about Molly, but you did the same thing with Javier so what's the problem?" He said back.
"One, you should not have even kissed me. That's not fair to me or Molly. Second I did what I did because you hurt me. You made me feel like a piece of shit!" You said, your voice getting louder.
Dutch studied your face, his jaw clenched. You looked back with the same demeanor. He exhaled and put his head down. "I'm sorry y/n." He stepped closer taking your hand. "It's just you make me feel something I haven't felt in a while. I care for Molly, I do, but she doesn't make me feel like you do."
He raised his hand and put it on your cheek. You felt your face warming up. "Dutch..." you said moving your head away.
"I'll end it with Molly if that's what it takes to have you." He said. Your mouth opened slightly at the shock of his statement. "I'll do whatever it takes, because I want you y/n."
You weren't sure if Dutch was being truthful, but your judgment was clouded by desire. You craved this man. Everything about him, his style, his confidence, the way he made your legs weak just by looking at you, made you want him.
Your lips smashed into his. He was taken back by the sudden force you used, but he quickly kissed back just as hard. His hands traveled down you waist and yours were tangled in his hair. His kisses moved from your mouth, down your neck, and onto your collarbone. Your head fell back and you let out a quiet moan of pleasure. You removed your hands from his hair and grabbed his hands which were now resting on your lower back. You moved them to your blouse, letting him know exactly what you wanted.
"This isn't the same girl from yesterday." He said trying not to break the kiss for to long.
You didn't say anything. His hands were quickly undoing all the buttons on your blouse. He took your shirt off and threw it to the ground. Your hands were now on his belt, trying to get it off. He broke the kiss and stepped back. "Hold on." He said.
He walked over to his horse and grabbed a blanket that he had stowed. He brought it over and laid it down.
"I bet you having that was a coincidence?" You asked sarcastically.
"You never know when you could get cold and need a blanket." He said with a smirk. "Now get over here."
You laid on the blanket, Dutch hovering over you. Your arms were draped around his neck as he kissed you. He quickly removed your pants and undergarments and threw them to the side. Your hands were working on taking off his shirt. He helped and quickly got it off, his pants following. You took a moment to admire his body. He was much larger than you. His eyes dug into you, full of hunger.
He grabbed your hands and held them over your head. Pain from not laying with anyone for a while quickly turned to pleasure. Your hands explored his chest. He held both of your hands with one of his, his other on your cheek. With shaky breath you whispered his name. You wouldn't of thought when you woke up that morning, that you would be in this position now.
•
•
•
You laid next to Dutch, his arm supporting your head, one of your arms draped across his chest. You looked up to admire his facial features. His eyes were closed and he was breathing lightly. Your smile turned to a frown and you looked away.
"What's on your mind?" He asked, his eyes still closed.
You sighed and sat up. "So are you actually going to break up with Molly or was that just something you said to sleep with me?" You asked.
His eyes opened to look at you. He sat up and grabbed your hand. "I wouldn't of said that of I wasn't going to follow through with it, I wouldn't do that to you."
You smiled.
"But y/n... can we not tell anyone about us, keep it our little secret?"
Your frowned again.
"At least for now? I don't want people to think I ended things with Molly just to sleep with you." He said.
"But that's pretty much what you did." You said rolling your eyes.
"Please y/n?" He asked.
You sighed. "Okay."
"How fun will it be.. to sneak around, and hope not to get caught." He said while placing light kisses along your collarbone.
You giggled. "Just for now."
"Just for now." He repeated with a smirk. His smirk left his face and turned into a frown. "You never told me what happened at the river today."
You looked away from him. "I told you the Pinkertons showed up and asked Javier to turn you in." You explained.
"You know what I'm talking about. Why were you crying." He asked.
You looked back at him. His eyes were full of sympathy. "Milton recognized me. He got rid of the gang that killed my family." You explained.
"Well isn't that a good thing?" Dutch asked.
A tear fell from your eye. "He said that I became like the exact person that killed my parents and they wouldn't be proud."
"Y/n..." Dutch started.
"No he's right. I spent years despising the people who killed my parents, and now I am those people." You said, more tears falling.
"You are nothing like them. You are a good person, one of the best. Your parents would be beyond proud of the women you became." He said placing a kiss on your forehead.
"People keep saying that, but I don't see it." You said frowning.
Dutch pulled you into a hug. You silently let the tears roll down your face. "Let's get back and you can take off the rest of the night, you've had a long day." Dutch said.
You both got up, collecting your clothes that were all over the place. You got dressed and mounted up. You arrived at camp quickly. Dutch smiled again you before heading to his tent. You made your way to your bed and sat down. You opened the book you were reading, hoping to forget about what happened at the river, but you couldn't focus because of all the memories of Dutch clouding your mind.