I looked at the clock and I'm almost late for work. Yana will kill me.
I'm already on the edge of getting fired because of the stunt I pulled with the two barbies the other day. After getting ready, I peeked at my bedroom window and observed.
Jungkook is inside his rooms with his friends. They must've heard what happened yesterday morning. Seeing that it'll take a while before the guys leave at Jungkook's house, I hurried my way out of our house to hail a cab and go to work.
=====
"I still can't believe you're talking about Jungkook. The Jeon Jungkook." Yana never stops blabbering. By this time, I thought she already moved on about it but here she goes again.
"Never thought you knew him." I shrugged as I wipe a bottle of gin.
"Who wouldn't know? A lot of videos of his performance during Namjoon's birthday are posted on the internet! You really live in the mountains don't you?" Yana remarked as she passed me another bottle of alcohol.
"I would've attended that party if it wasn't an all-boys-only event." She frowned. She knows that I went there and I already told her about it in detail.
So he is famous at their university even though he doesn't study there. Girls must've swooned and he won them over.
The day went by from light to dark, from a few people visiting the bar to a whole pack of humans and from a very inspired Deanna to a very anxious Deonne.
After my shift, I called Mr. Jeon and told him that I'm coming over.
I have to make things clear with Jungkook. If he wants my help, then that's all I'm going to give him and that's all he is going to get from me.
Ringing the doorbell, I feel like it's my first time going inside again. After Jungkook gave me his letters or shall I call entries, I only sent him a message that day that I'm coming over soon and told him not to do something that will hurt himself again.
His story felt surreal.
But how can I doubt such experiences if the effects are evident to that person? My parents taught me not to be suspicious if someone tells who a rare horrible life experiences such as violence and assaults. Instead, I should comfort them and be thankful that they share their stories with me because it means they trust me.
Besides, no one will dream of having such terrifying events in life.
"Come in." Mr. Jeon says, popping my little thought bubble.
"Good evening." I greeted before entering.
"Have you eaten dinner?" He asks.
"Yes. I had one with Yana." I politely declined.
"Jungkook is in his room. I'll be here if you need anything." He nods at me and it was my cue to go upstairs.
I remember sleeping inside his room before, and now the room seems unfamiliar to me. Not with the memories but with the feelings.
I knocked three times, and I heard his sweet voice telling me to come inside.
I took a deep breath.
I thought I'll be able to escape the consequences of my incredibly successful plan, but I'm still here, worried over him.
I hate myself.
Slowly, I turned the doorknob and I almost dropped my phone when I saw Jungkook half-naked. Act normal. The angels left on my shoulder whispers on my ears.
I looked straight into his face. I don't know if it's my subconscious or the voices that tell me to look down further. Despite his condition, he never forgets to stay physically fit and it's pretty evident seeing his perfectly toned abdomen.
Although there's a bit of an injury on that spot. "Hey, you came." Jungkook greets, putting a pause on my want for more sightseeing.
"I did, do you need any help?" The words slipped from my mouth. "Dude?" I'm awkward at this. I shouldn't have said the last word.
"Yeah, sure." He smiled.
I just asked him if he needed help cleaning up his wound on his stomach. On his rock-hard sexually inimical stomach. And he said yes.
He hands me the cotton buds and ointment. My hands should not be trembling but they are. I slowly dabbed his wound with gentleness.
I don't know what to focus on, his wound or his godlike physique.
"Ah!" Jungkook groaned in pain.
"Oh my- Oh shit, I'm sorry man." My breath hitched. I passed him the cotton bud with the I-don't-think-I-can-do-it-anymore look.
After cleaning and placing a square-shaped gauze on his wound he finally wears a white shirt and I started breathing normally again.
Silence.
We spent almost three minutes staring at one another. I can't blame him, he just told me his story and it's normal to be speechless about it.
But I said, "I'm sorry." It's the best way to start this conversation. "I'm sorry for not understanding and not being there with you when you needed me. I know, I'm a very unworthy friend."
"It's not all about you. I also did a part on our misunderstanding. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I never had a friend who didn't know that I have this annoyingly weird phobia, you're a first. I thought it's better if you do not know." Culpability is painted on his face and I never felt more ashamed of myself.
What are you doing Deanna?
"It's okay. I understand. Thank you for trusting me now." I replied. "So you needed my help? Don't you have a therapist or something?" I asked, smoothly changing the subject.
"Oh, Mr. Sanders? Well, he has been my therapist since I was a kid and I'm still like... me." He explained, embarrassed of his current condition.
"Then why do you think I can help you?" My eyebrows were knitted together.
"First, promise me you'll not feel weird about what I'll say." He warns and I gesticulated for him to continue. "Remember when Jimin got into an accident? We were in the hospital and suddenly Hoseok's m- Oh god." He placed his hand on his throat and I felt uneasy.
"Don't force yourself." I approached him and looked him in the eyes.
"I have to." He tells me. "So I had another anxiety attack. You were there, you told me to calm down and imagine something peaceful. I admit, I involuntarily did what you said. I felt calm for a bit, my breathing starts to slow down but I still lost consciousness. It was the first time."
"It's just a coincidence and you did it all yourself. Maybe you just need practice." I chuckled.
"That was my first thought," Jungkook stated. "But then... someone visited the house a few days ago and I started panicking, you were there again and I yelled at you for some reason that I regret now. Once more, you told me to calm down and I did. I pictured the lake in my head again and I felt peace-"
"But you still went unconscious." I cut off. I can't give him false hope. I'm not a miracle healer or whatsoever. I'm just a mere descendant of David Hampton. "I can't do this Jungkook, you know it's not possible that out of all the people who can help you, it happened to be me."
"But it's worth the risk!" Jungkook stood up and he winced in pain. "Please, I really believe that you can help me."
"And what if I didn't?"
"I'll do whatever you want. Just help a friend out." He pleads.
"Anything?" I asked.
"Anything."
"If it didn't work out let's not meet ever again." I blurted out and I caught him off guard. There's a huge possibility that it won't, that's why I'm making this urgent deal. It's for his sake.
Whatever I'm feeling for him, I need to get rid of it as soon as I can.
"Deal." He agreed after contemplating for a while.