Zariah couldn't fall asleep that night. She lay awake under the fluffy covers of the bed. Part of it was how weird it felt to be sharing a bed with Raeden, Esen had only fixed up one double bed for the two of them and at that point neither of them wanted to complain to her. Raeden fell asleep quickly, laying like a rock at the furthest edge on the bed. Laying wide awake in the early hours of the morning, Zariah envied him.
The main reason she couldn't fall asleep was that laying there, staring into the wooden ceiling, moonlight pouring in through the windows, she couldn't help but feel like something had gone terribly wrong. To be honest, nothing about that moment seemed wrong, it was just a gut feeling, or maybe it was the Goddess's power telling her that there was some sort of imbalance in the world.
Whatever the reason was, Zariah hadn't gotten a bit of sleep all night, and by the time the sun shone through the window, Zariah still lay watching.
The ride home was one of the calmest rides she'd ever had. She left that morning as soon as possible, after Esen continued to pamper them with eggs and fresh clothes and supplies and such. There was absolutely nothing in between Tarrey Town and Hyrule Castle, the Woodland Stable and the fire was completely under control, the weather seemed perfect. That uneasy feeling never left her, even though everything seemed to suggest that there was nothing to be worried about.
She slept late the next night, camping along the edge of the river, probably making up for lack of sleep. By the next afternoon, they made it back to Hyrule Castle and made their way steadily towards the inner halls of the castle, leaving their horses at the Castle Town Stables. The closer she got to home, the more excited she felt to tell her mother about everything that had happened. Her mother would know what she needed to do, she always did. Not only was she excited to get her mother's council but she'd figured out how to save her. She had the power to cure her disease, in a few moments everything would be better.
As she walked in, she was met almost immediately by her father dressed in black.
She immediately feared the worst, "Dad? What is it?"
"You should probably come with me,"
She looked at her father's grizzled face, seeing tears in his eyes. He nodded as she understood.
She choked back a sob, tears rushed into her eyes. She steeled herself again, "Show me,"
She followed him, both of them rushing through the halls, stopping finally at her mother's room. Her father froze at the doorway, but she shoved the door open.
The room looked the same as always, daylight poured in through the massive windows, grey curtains flowing in, the candles extinguished. The old covers on the bed were gone, replaced with nothing but a white sheet, one that covered the still figure of her mother's body.
She collapsed against the frame of the door, tears coming freely to her eyes.
"No..." she whimpered, "No, it's not—"
She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see the blurry face of her father. She burrowed herself into a hug, awkwardly returned by her dad.
"It happened the night before while you were gone," he said, his voice breaking, "Th- the funeral will be two days from now,"
She hugged him tighter. Despair began to hit her hard. She'd been so close, so close to saving her mother, if she'd just been a little faster she could've saved her, even if she'd been to the Spring of Wisdom years ago as per tradition, maybe she could've ended this before it all started. But instead she was too slow, she'd tried running away from her fate and she paid dearly for it.
And now she was next in line to be Queen... she wasn't ready for it, she would never be ready for it. And this power of the goddess's, she was supposed to protect this world, she was supposed to be powerful, her life held the fate of the world, she'd already failed. She'd already failed at everything.
She stepped away from her father and took one more glance at her beloved mother. The Queen was dead, and she knew it was all her fault.
There was a knock at her door. She paused praying they would go away.
A moment later there was another knock.
"Leave me," she said, feeling unable to raise her voice.
There was a pause and then another knock.
She knew they weren't going away any time soon.
A moment later the door opened. Raeden stood there, watching her carefully. He'd changed since they'd returned to the castle, he now wore his old Royal Guard uniform, complete with the cap.
"What do you want?" She said, not daring to look any further at him, returning her focus to the book she was reading at her desk.
"I wanted to check in on you," he said, "It's been over a day, you haven't left your room,"
"I don't want to do this right now, Raeden, I really don't,"
"Do what—?"
She whipped her head around at him, "What are you still doing here?"
He stopped, taken aback, "I'm here because I care about you,"
She took his words with complete indifference, she struggled to find the energy for anything more.
"If you really knew me you would know that's the last thing I need right now," she said, filling her voice with the indifference she felt.
In the corner of her eye, she watched as Raeden frustratedly ran his hands through his hair. Then he closed the door behind him.
"You know what, Zariah? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you saying these things, I'm tired of you beating yourself down, and I'm tired of you using any kind of past trauma as an excuse," he said, his voice rising in his frustration, "Because you're wrong. You are frustratingly wrong and I'm killing myself trying to show you that. You need someone to care about you, and you've abandoned almost every person who does. Your mother knew that, that's why she assigned me to your side. Kindness is not weakness, affection does not always end in injury. These are lessons that you keep showing others in everything that you do and you keep failing to learn from them. I'm here because I want to help, I know how much your mother meant to you, I can only imagine how much you're feeling, but for the love of god, Zariah, I love you! And I love knowing you. You brighten my every living day. Seeing you like this, or hearing your screams in your nightmares, it absolutely kills me. It's the one thing I can't ever seem to fix and it drives me crazy. I want to help you through this and you won't let me. Please, you don't have to go through this alone,"
His words hit her hard, shocking her.
Very softly she said, "You said it yourself, you can't imagine what it's like,"
Raeden came closer until he could hold her hands in his, "Then help me help you,"
She looked up at him, tears flooding into her eyes.
She got out of her seat and practically collapsed in his arms. He embraced her, holding her close, seeming to fill her soul with warmth once more. She buried her face into his shoulder and let herself cry.
Stifling down another sob, she rested her head against his chest, "I'm sorry," she said, incapable of raising her voice above a whisper.
"Don't apologize," Raeden said, rubbing his thumb into her back, "Just, please, don't shut me out,"
She nodded.
Then the door burst open. She flung herself away and turned to face the doorway where an older man stood dressed decoratively — as always — in a blue and gold tunic and nicely embroidered black pants.
"Alright, enough of this mourning nonsense, it's about time we talke—" the man froze once he realized what had happened, "Well, well, well, I thought you were pathetically isolating yourself as usual, but... well, I'll be damned. Fraternizing with a Royal Guard, I never saw this one coming—"
"Get out of here, Hoff," Zariah said, insulted by his presumptions.
Hoff raised an eyebrow at her with a bit of a curve to his lip, probably gleeful that she proved herself to be just the wretch he thought she was.
"No, I actually have things to say," he said, crossing his arms, "Which means your boy-toy needs to beat it,"
Zariah's lip rose in fury at the comment, but she held her tongue and stiffly gestured for Raeden to leave. He nodded and left, closing the door for the two of them.
Zariah had never liked Hoff, and she knew he always hated her, and yet, for whatever reason, her mother always kept him around. Zariah always thought he was a cruel, emotionless asshole. Hoff always thought she was a traumatized, stuck-up, scoundrel who would bring ruin to the royal family. They were united only in their hatred for one another. Unfortunately for her, he was the advisor for the throne. This greying old man, with his stupid goatee and his black eyes, who dressed like he'd never heard the word 'humility' in his life, was possibly the best person to go to for advice concerning the throne and what Hyrule's fate should be.
"So. The Queen has died," Hoff said, seeming to hold back a sneer, "And I'm stuck with you,"
"If you're here to insult my life's decisions, there's the door," she fought back.
"No, no, that won't be necessary," he said grabbing a plush chair and sitting down, he sighed and stared her down, "There are matters to attend to. Traditionally, after the death of a monarch, power succeeds immediately to the next in line for the throne. Your mother stubbornly insisted that it be you and not your father, a decision I persistently disagreed with, but regardless of my professional opinion, the throne and the crown now belongs to you, my Queen,"
Zariah crossed her arms across her chest, "So I'm the Queen, just like that?"
"Just like that."
"What about the coronation ceremony?"
Hoff scoffed, "The coronation has never been anything more than ceremonial. It's nothing more than a frilly tradition. True transfer of power happens immediately," he paused, examining her, "And based off of your shocked look, you have no idea what you're doing, which is where I come in.
"Now, hate me all you like, but I am your best hope at being a spectacular ruler. Naturally the choice comes down to you whether or not you keep me in this post. Before you do make a decision that may or may not void me of work, know that your mother had 8 royal advisors before me, and not one lasted more than a year. When she first hired me she found there was not a single person she'd spoken to who matched my knowledge of Hylian court history and policy and traditions, nor did she ever know anyone as blunt, and brutally truthful, nor as loyal to the throne. I may not particularly love who is throned, but I would die before letting it fall to an enemy. The longest any other royal advisor lasted your mother was 11 months. I had lasted her 36 years and 8 months. There is a reason I have lasted this long in office. Even if you do not trust me, trust your late mother's judgment,"
Zariah nodded, taking in the information. Truthfully, he presented a great case. He had the experience she did not, the experience she desperately needed. There wasn't exactly anyone else she could imagine in his place.
"What else do you have to present?" She asked.
"Have you made your decision concerning my employment?"
She reluctantly nodded her head, "You may stay in office,"
Hoff smiled, "Excellent choice your majesty," She felt herself cry a little with every time he said the words 'your majesty', "The next matter of business is of policy making. It is not officially traditional to do so, but every ruler upon entering power has gone through the policy and decisions made by the prior ruler and chosen what to keep and what to overrule. If you would like to do so now, we can go through your mother's late policy and—"
Zariah didn't need a list, she knew exactly what she wanted done, "Release Corvus from the dungeons,"
Hoff froze, staring her straight in the eyes, "Of course, out of all of the several flawed decisions and policies you could overturn, you would free the biggest traitor in Hyrule,"
Again, Zariah felt her lip rise into a snarl, "Considering I was one of the people she betrayed, it should be my decision whether or not to free her,"
"I'm not questioning whether or not you can free her, I just told you you can," he said, his own voice rising in his temper, "However know that this may possibly be the worst decision of your life. Corvus's fate is no longer just a friend of yours betraying you, she has become a symbol and example to all of Hyrule of what happens to traitors like her. To free her, even a few months too early, would be incredibly stupid and contradictive on the Hylian's crown part,"
"Her fate was never supposed to be like that," Zariah said, her hands finding their spots as fists, "It was a cruel fate, and one I have struggled with since the day my mother decided upon it,"
"She had to pay for her mistakes,"
"It's not in our place to decide that,"
"Then whose place is it?"
She and Hoff glared each other down, until once more he broke the silence, "You're about to learn that there are decisions you are going to have to make that you may not agree with, but it must be done! You're no longer some foolish princess, running off into adventures. You are the Queen of all of Hyrule. Sooner than later reality will hit, and you are going to have to deal with the fact that your childhood is gone. This is the most difficult job in the world. Are you going to be ready for it or not?"
He was right, she knew he was right. Regardless of what she wanted, she was a Queen now.
She took a deep breath, "Release Corvus,"
Hoff frustratedly looked away and then gave an angry sigh, "Knights will be sent to her cell immediately,"
"Good, ensure she is fed and bathed and then I would like for an audience with her in a private space,"
"The conference room will have to do,"
Zariah angrily looked away and struggled to keep herself calm, "Is there anything else?"
"Would you like to talk about other previously made policy or decisions you would be interested in overturning?"
"No, that will be all,"
Hoff quieted for a moment, "We'll have to have another meeting concerning your coronation and other matters such as the potential threat posed by your mother's death. The funeral tomorrow has been handled thus far, all you need worry about is your appearance and a speech, the people will be expecting a speech from you. Shall we plan for a week from now to discuss plans for your rule?"
"A week sounds good,"
"Then I shall take my leave," he painfully got to his feet and made his way across her room, pausing at the door, "For the love of Hylia, your majesty, don't screw this up,"
Then, finally, he left. Zariah collapsed on her bed wondering what the hell just happened. She was Queen. Just like that. Hoff and every other person in all of Hyrule answered to her. She knew it was going to happen one day, but not this soon, never this soon. She wasn't prepared, she wasn't ready for it.
And she'd just freed Corvus.
So much had happened in so little time.
She glanced at the mirror at her reflection, she looked like an absolute mess, her hair tangled and crazy, her face blotchy, tears stained over her cheeks. She still hadn't changed since she'd arrived. She sighed, rolled her shoulders back and decided to get dressed properly.
Half an hour later, she had bathed the dirt and grime off, untangled her hair, and changed into similar loose pants and boots, but now with a simple navy tunic with a simple leather belt, her hair fell loosely over her shoulders, her bangs brushed to one side of her face. Again she stared at her reflection in the mirror, and barely recognized herself. She still remembered climbing Mount Lanayru, before everything had changed. Those were back when the day was normal, there was no pressure on her shoulders, she just had to live life for herself, do what she wanted to do, and, as much as it pained her to admit it, living through the trauma of her childhood. All of that would have to end. Times had most certainly changed, and she had to change with it.
She was no longer just the princess, but the Queen of Hyrule and keeper of the Goddess's divine power. She had power now, both in terms of politics and magic, and she was the most powerful person in the world in both. Yet, her mind still struggled to adjust. She knew it was not going to be an easy adjustment, it might even take years, but she knew she had to move on.
Moments later her boots thumped across the stone floors of Hyrule Castle. She heard someone else hurry after her.
"Zariah! Wait!" it was Raeden, now jogging to keep up with her, "What happened? What did you and Hoff talk about?"
She slowed down allowing them to walk side by side, "I am... officially... the Queen of Hyrule,"
Raeden slowed down a little in shock, "Oh, well, congratulations? Your majesty?"
She gave a small frown, "I wish it hadn't happened so soon," she said, "It all feels so surreal,"
He paused, "So, anything else?"
"I freed Corvus,"
"You what?" Raeden froze again, she turned back to look at him.
"I'm on my way to meet her in the conference room, I had hoped for a private conversation,"
"Wait, Zariah, hold up," Raeden took off his uniform's cap and ran his hand through his wild hair, "You freed the biggest and most renowned traitor in all of Hyrule,"
"She's an old friend— "
"She betrayed you—"
"I've forgiven her. Her's was a fate I wouldn't wish upon anyone,"
Something in his face showed that her words struck a particular string in him, "No matter what?"
She furrowed his brow, confused, "What?"
"You wouldn't wish a 15 year sentence on anyone?" he clarified, "It's a light sentence—"
"It's the same sentence that Ganondorf faced—"
"Yeah but—"
"It's more than that, though," Zariah said, a little confused and almost irritated the conversation was happening, "Corvus had spent her entire life trying to be worth any kind of recognition or praise, she wished more than anything to be seen in a positive light, having spent her entire life being despised for merely existing. Because of one mistake, she got the same exact sentence as the most evil man in the past century, and she will have to go through her entire life being hated and despised for it, knowing that if she had chosen otherwise, everything she had ever dreamed of would've come true,"
Raeden finally nodded in understanding.
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with an old friend to get to,"
She turned and left Raeden behind without a second glance.
Corvus was already standing in the room when she arrived. It was one of Zariah's favorites in the castle, a large wide open hall, with great big windows overlooking all of Hyrule before it.
Corvus had changed greatly over the past 15 years in a jail cell. Her purple eyes widened in shock at the sight of her presence. Her black feathers seemed longer and much shaggier than Zariah remembered, and at the edges black turned to purple. Behind her head was a knot of feathers pulled out of her face. Despite looking shaggier, she could also see patches of red where she could see dark skin beneath the feathers. She looked so much more mature, like she had fully grown into herself, and her features seemed more jagged, her beak looked sharper. She wore a tan tunic, decorated with green cloth, a sash around her hips and a scarf around her neck, concealing what looked like bandages around her throat.
And now that Zariah had fully grown, she realized just how short Corvus really was.
"When the guards told me the Queen demanded my presence, I was expecting Zelda," she said, her voice seeming both raspy and jagged at the same time, the Rito scoffed, "I wasn't expecting to see you. I barely recognized you, Zariah,"
Zariah squared her shoulders, "My mother died only a few days ago, her funeral will be tomorrow. I have become Queen, my first action was to free you prematurely, righting a wrong that should've been righted a long time ago,"
For the first time since seeing her again, Corvus seemed to soften up.
"I'm sorry for your loss," she said.
"Thank you,"
They paused, both of them standing in silence, until Corvus turned and watched out the window, Zariah could see tears forming in her eyes as she finally relaxed.
"I have dreamed about this moment for 15 years," she said, staring outside, her voice cracking, "But I never imagined I'd be crying at the sight of the sun, or at the birds in the sky—" her voice broke off.
"I know you've probably been asking yourself the same question for years but—"
"I did it out of fear," she said bluntly, knowing exactly what she was asking, "It was the easiest path I could see to what I had been fighting for my entire life. It was finally in my grasp, so I took the chance and failed,"
"You know he never would've—"
"Yeah I see that now. 15 years in a jail cell has proven how obvious it was, and how stupid I acted. I would give anything to take it all back,"
Zariah sat on the ground, watching out the window. Slowly, Corvus sat beside her.
"Remember when I first met you?" Corvus asked.
Zariah smiled and nodded, "I had climbed to the top of the Gerudo Palace for absolutely no reason. You looked at me like I was crazy. Honestly, I think I might've been a little crazy back then,"
"I remember thinking that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into," she said, "I was both absolutely surprised at everything you told me and I kept thinking that you were being a bit of an idiot, messing around with things you were too young to be messing around with," Corvus scoffed, "Looking back, it turned out I was the idiot,"
Zariah looked at the Rito Crow beside her, bittersweet memories rushing back to her, "I remember I loved hanging out with you, I thought you were fun to talk to," she told her with a smile, and then paused, "What are you going to do now? Go back to Rito Village?"
"I have to find out what happened to it. I have to see it again. I doubt I'll ever be welcomed back there, though,"
"I can't say much for the other inhabitants of this castle but... I'll always welcome you here," Zariah said, "And will you stay for my mother's funeral? The others will be here,"
Corvus took a deep breath, seeming to tense up again, "Honestly I wasn't planning on it, but... I have some things I'd like to say to the others,"
Zariah nodded, "I'll have a room set up for you for the night,"
"Thank you,"
They sat in silence, until Corvus got to her feet again, "I would like to go outside, breath in the fresh air again, if I may take my leave,"
Zariah nodded, and Corvus turned for the door, and then she said, "I forgive you, I don't know about any of the others, but I forgive you,"
Corvus's head fell, and she muttered a quick 'thank you' before leaving her alone in the great big room with its great big windows.