Apparently, every little girl dreams of the day where their fathers will walk them down the aisle to the arms of the man that they have fallen in love with.
I was not one of those little girls because unlike those little girls, I only had a mother and grandmother. And of course there were those random neighborhood kids that I have known all my life because grandma would babysit them. But I have not seen them in years. My grandmother died my sophomore year in college and by then they had all grown up and moved to different states.
My father would pop in my life once every 2 years but he was nothing like what I thought fathers were like. He had a quick temper and thin to no patience. One day when I was eight he came when my grandmother was at the store. I was used to being left home alone, Nana would lock the door and tell me not open it for anyone no matter what.
My father convinced me to open the door persisting that Nana wouldn't mind because I was his child. I was manipulated to open the door and when he came in he didn't even cast me a look just went into straight to the shoe closet.
I followed him there telling him how I had grown 1 foot since he had last seen me and how last year he had missed the Daddy Daughter dance but Lace's Dad had danced with me anyways.
He ignored me the whole time but I didn't stop running my mouth until he pulled out Nana's white purse. Nana had many purses, one for doctor appointments, one for school meetings, one for church, one for going out to eat and one for the store.
Daddy pulls out Nana's Church purse and digs around until he touches something that makes him smile.
"Why are you in Nana's purse Daddy?"
He glares at me then turns back to the wad of cash he pulled out.
"I hear you you be calling that white guy 'Daddy'?"
I look down and shrug, Lace told me we could share a Daddy because mine was not home as much.
"That ain't yo Daddy, ya heard!"
I cross my arms, "He acts like my Daddy!"
He whips his head at me as he shoves the money inside his pocket then grabs my arm hard.
"Watch ya mouth! I'm ya Daddy you do as I say!"
My eyes burned with angry tears and I yanked my arm from his hold.
"He is too my Daddy! he tells me he loves me, he listens to me sing, he took me to the daddy daughter dance and he-"
I was too busy shouting to notice he had slipped of his belt. He beat me until I told him I wouldn't call Lace's dad Daddy anymore. Now Daddy had smacked face tons of times before but that day I thought he was going to kill me. He finished beating me then went back and got more money from Nana's purses.
He left without even glancing back at me.
Nana came home to find marks all over my body and face.
She hushed me when I told her sorry for letting him in, sorry that he had stole her money from her purses, sorry that I had made him angry that he beat me.
I know Mr. Santayana could have walked me down if I asked but it didn't feel right in my heart to have him do it. Grandma is the only person who deserves to do this but since she is gone I have to go to the next person that raised me, the one that was the strongest for me.
So here I am on June 2, 2020 walking myself down the aisle.
I release a shaky breath and look Heavenwards, "Did I make you proud Nana? Cause I'm proud of me".
Esperanza screams as she catches sight of her Dad who stand besides my to be Husband.
"Daddy!"
I laugh and as she sets down her basket full of flowers and runs to her father's arms. Antonio runs after his sister and gives the rings to Giovanni before going over to Sienna who smiles and picks him up.
Giovanni stretches his hands out to me and I take them happy that my veil covers the tears in my eyes.
The Church was filled with Giovanni's family and family friends. Most people he swears he had never seen in his life but they claim they held him as a baby. Usually there is the groom's side where his family sits and the Brides side where her family sits. But Viola had it that both sides were a mix of my side and Giovanni's side. Although I don't have to look in the crowd to count how many people were on my side. I had only invited Grandma's church friend's, a few of the kids I had grown up with and five college friends.
I was so nervous I didn't know the Priest had finished talking until Gio squeezes my hands. The church had stained glass windows at every Pew and their was a window in the ceiling that let sunlight fall down on my lover and I.
Biting my lip nervously, I look up at those stormy grey eyes that captivated me that Sunny day in May. Just like on the night we got engaged, there were specks of blue and purple in his eyes except this time they were dancing around the gray.
"Giovanni, do you take Sophia to be your wedded wife, to live together in a Godly marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, trust, cherish, to be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?Do you promise to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you apart?"
Giovanni smiles down at me as he slips the ring on my finger, "I do".
The priest turns to me, "Sophia, do you take Giovanni to be your wedded husband to live together in a Godly marriage? Do you promise to love, comfort, trust, cherish, to be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?Do you promise to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you apart?"
I slide the ring into his finger, "I do".
The priest closes his Bible and gives us a loving smile, "Be kind to each other but most importantly keep God in the middle of your marriage. For he is victorious and with him by your side you wont ever fail. But if you two should ever doubt your love for each other, remember the reason why you came together on this very date".
He nods at both of us, "I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. Giovanni you may kiss your Bride".
Gio releases my hands as he lifts my veil. The Church erupts with cheers and whistles when he dips me low for a kiss.
We pull away with pink lips to look at our family who were all on their feet. My husband takes my hand and leads me down the stairs of the stage. He surprises me when he lifts me up to his shoulder. Rolling my eyes, I wave at everyone that we pass by.
A photographer comes out of no where snapping pictures. Giovanni who can't see her is busy pumping his fist in the air the air like he just won the Supper Bowl. I decide to heck with it and put my fist up too.
Today, we both are winners.
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