Warning: suicidal thoughts and attempt here
Two years later
You were looking down from the roof of this high building, feeling the wind past your face. There was music blasting in your ears, making your throat clog up even more. You were ready. Just one step forward...one jump..and you would finally end it.
Ever since you were left on earth those years ago...a lot had happened. Two years. Two years was so long...and they all left you. The doctor..she left you again. Maybe she really was serious about you wandering off and sending you home. You just couldn't think of anything else.
You had been thinking for so many months. Two years. And now you were so tired...so so much happened. You couldn't carry on...
You waited every day, wishing that that blue box would turn up right outside your house. Or maybe you'd catch a glimpse of it in the sky. But it never came back. The doctor never came back.
And you missed out on your chance to tell Missy...how you felt. How you loved her. You u never got the time...You regretted not telling her before. Every time you'd stuttered. And there wasn't even a way to contact anyone.
Or that was what you thought. You found something on your phone. It was a contact...of the TARDIS. But you were already at the rooftop now. Nothing could change your mind. Just like nothing could change what happened to you. What drove you to this...
But they deserved a goodbye at least. The time you knew them, everyone on that amazing TARDIS, they were your best friends. They were amazing. And you needed to give a suicide note to someone. Seeing as you couldn't pluck up the courage with your siblings...now was the only time.
You pulled out your earphones, the music being ripped away and replaced by the roaring of the air. You looked at your phone in your shaking hand, gulping before dialling that contact and lifting the phone to your ear.
After a few rings, it picked up, and you heard a voice you hadn't heard in two...long..awful years.
"Hello?" She spoke, sounding slightly out of breath and at the same time cheery, most likely having come back from an adventure somewhere in space and running away from aliens.
"Doctor.." you whispered, your throat already closing up "it's been so long since I've heard your voice. I almost forgot what it sounded like..."
"(Y/n)?" The doctor sounded slightly confused.
"You remember me then" you smiled a little, trying to hold it all together even though you were shaking and so close to jumping off this huge drop "I never forgot you all either. Not one day..not one planet.."
"What's going on? Is everything alright? You don't sound well" the doctor asked in concern.
I gulped a little before getting on with this goodbye note "I just wanted to say...the years I had with you, on the TARDIS. They were the best years of my life...the best memories I will never forget"
"Where are you?" The doctor asked "what is this?"
You closed your eyes, not believing you were hearing her voice again.
"I never thought I'd hear your voice again. Missy must have put the TARDIS contact in my phone when we were at that hospital that one time. Remember that?" You asked "cuz I do. Funny thing is I miss it. Even Yaz's teasing. You know what, all of you were amazing. And you were the best moments of my life."
"What is all of this? Seriously I'm getting worried what's going on!" The doctor asked, getting more and more concerned.
"I never told you all how much I appreciated you. Doctor...ever since I lost my mother you've been the closest thing I've had. And Yaz, your teasing honestly in hindsight..was hilarious. Annoying, but I found myself missing it. And Ryan..." you laughed a little "you always acted tough when you're really a big scaredy cat. You get scared of horror movies" you smiled "and Graham. Well you gave some great advice, kinda like the doctor. You're like the grandad of the family. Team TARDIS..."
It sounded like the phone had been snatched off the doctor. And who spoke next made your heart hurt even more and took your breath away.
"Where are you?! What are you doing!" She asked in panic, her amazing Scottish accent bringing memories to your mind.
You laughed a little, looking over the edge and the big drop "on the edge of a roof of a very tall building...just about to take another step forward" You told her.
"What?!" She shouted, making you smile a little.
You missed everything about her. Especially her protective nature towards you. Two years away from her was so long.
"I missed you the most...two years away from you has...done things. I missed everything about you. Your voice...your amazing accent. I only wish I could see you one last time. See you all." You said sadly, trying not to let the sobs come through, hating yourself for not being able to cry.
"Wait two years?!" Missy shouted loudly "that's not right!"
"Believe me..." you whispered "I've counted the days.."
"Just..don't do it love! Don't jump okay!" She said in a panicked tone.
"I missed when you called me that" you said "did you miss me?"You asked "either way, this is the time we depart beautiful angel" you whispered "I never told you but..." you took a deep breath, knowing it would be one of your last "I love you. I've always loved you Missy"
You switched off the phone before she could say anything else, some sobs ripping through your throat. You looked down. Everyone was so busy. They were just carrying on with their lives.
And that was what you were tired of. Carrying on with life. You blocked out everything from your mind, not listening to anything going on around you. Not the wind blowing past your ears or the hustle and bustle down there.
You just took a step forward, one step...but just as you were about to step the other foot forward too...
Someone grabbed your hand.