"And when your heart knows, it knows. There's no explaining it. You can only trust it." - The Better Man Project
A warm, Saturday afternoon saw the group of seven by the lake, where one year earlier, what had been termed the incident had occurred, but James' bullying of Severus Snape and the yelling of 'mudblood' were a distant echo of the past. In fact, it didn't even strike anyone in the group that they were in the exact same spot, under the exact same tree, exactly one year later.
The year was coming to a close on their sixth year. They were days away from accepting their roles as the oldest students at Hogwarts, and it was scary. They were looking their looming future dead in the eyes. If they were being honest with themselves, it put a knot in each of their guts.
But, today wasn't the day to think about that.
Charlie had climbed the tree and was crawling over the branches like some type of monkey; Sirius sat with his back against the thick trunk, keeping himself in the shade with a cigarette clamped between his lips; Marlene and Lily were laid on their backs amongst the grass, eyes closed as they took in the beaming sunlight; Remus and James were sprawled out in the grass playing an intense game of wizards chess; Peter watched zealously as Charlie made her way easily over the branches as if fear were nonexistent.
"Charlie," Lily said, peering through her eyelids, squinting in the sunlight. "You're going to break your neck."
Charlie laughed as she hooked her knees onto a branch and allowed her torso to hang upside down. "No worries, Mum. I'm being careful."
Sirius slid his black, square sunglasses down his nose. Charlie's netted, white shirt hung at her neck revealing her upper body, and Sirius arched an eyebrow at her lacy, black under garment. "Nice bra, Riggs."
Charlie flipped herself over, landing on her feet with a thud. "Thanks," she winked, unfazed by his comment. "It clasps in the front. Confuses the boys."
"True," James commented with a raise of his hand, never looking up from the chess board.
Charlie watched as Lily made a face. "Let's do something," Charlie said, changing the subject. "I'm bored."
"Like what?" Peter asked, squinting into the sunlight.
Charlie shrugged her shoulders as she dug through her bag. "I dunno, just something."
"Hide-n-seek?" James suggested, still never removing his eyes from the game board.
"Oh," Sirius exclaimed in a childlike voice, putting his cigarette out against the bark of the tree. "Never have I ever. Gimme all your secrets, bitches."
"What secrets don't we share?" Marlene asked from her position on the ground.
"You tell me, McKinnon."
Marlene felt her cheeks tinge with heat, and she found herself suddenly grateful for the sunlight's ability to cloak her red cheeks. She cleared her throat but said nothing. Lily smirked in return while Charlie bit off a piece of a licorice wand, suppressing a cheshire grin.
"We could always share the couple names," Peter shrugged.
Charlie yanked the candy from her lips. "Dude!"
"What?" Peter asked innocently, looking up at his friend in a confused manner.
"I'm sorry," Sirius inquired getting to his feet, wiping his grass covered hands on his black jeans. "Couple names?"
"Peter," Charlie groaned, tilting her head back to look at the sky. "I'm going to murder you."
"What are you two going on about?" Remus demanded, his and James' eyes finally removed from the game between them.
Charlie snorted, moving her hands to her hips. Her fingers played idly with the belt loops of her jean shorts as she spoke. "We got bored one afternoon, and we said we'd never speak of it."
Peter shrugged. "I think they're funny." Charlie rolled her eyes.
"Couple names?" Lily demanded.
"You know how people combine two people's names when they're dating," Charlie said.
Peter got to his feet. "We made couple names for everyone in the friend group."
Marlene let out a laugh. "Oh, I gotta hear this."
"Charlie?" Peter grinned.
The girl rolled her eyes with a good humored laugh. "Fine, fine," she said, digging through her bag. She plopped to the ground, sitting criss-cross on the grass.
The brunette opened her monstrous journal, thumbing through pages at an impressive speed. When she got to her desired page, she looked up with a smile. "Gather round children."
They followed suit with varying grins. "We must be bored," Remus mused, glancing at the chart of names on the parchment of Charlie's leather bound journal.
"Alright," Charlie grinned. "We'll start with Remus. Remus and Lily shall be Rily, yes, pronounced 'really.' Remus and Marlene shall be Rawrlene."
"Rawrlene?" Remus demanded, suppressing a smirk.
"Yeah," Peter said. "You know...rawr...you're a werewolf."
"I hate you all."
Charlie bit the inside of her cheek to keep in her laugh. She cleared her throat before continuing. "Remus and James shall be known as Lotter. And, Remus and Sirius–one of my personal favorites–Wolfstar."
"Wolfstar?" Sirius demanded.
Charlie nodded. "Wolf," she gestured to Remus. "Star," she gestured back to Sirius.
Sirius elbowed Remus with a grin. "They think I'm a star."
Charlie sighed. "Sirius is the name of an actual star, you daft piece of hair."
"Next," Marlene interrupted, fluttering her hand at Charlie. "I'm so entertained by this."
"Alright," Charlie announced. "Next, we'll do Lily. She was an easy one. Lily and Marlene is Mily, Lily and Sirius is Sily, and Lily and James shall be Jily. Although, on that last one, I was partial to Lames."
"Lames?" Lily demanded, cheeks flushed.
"Why so offended there, Lily flower? You care about your's and James' couple name?" Sirius inquired with a smug grin.
She gave him a look that shot daggers. "Go on, Charlie."
"Woah, woah, woah," James held up a hand. "How come you and Peter's names aren't in this?"
Charlie gave him a look. "That was by design. Okay, next is James. James and Sirius shall be Sames, which I honestly find very fitting. And, James and Marlene are Mames."
James crinkled his nose. "Alright," Charlie continued. "Lastly, we have Sirius and Marlene which is Blackinnon."
"Huh," Lily hummed with a smirk. "I like it."
Sirius gauged Marlene's reaction from the corner of his eye. She pursed her lips, being very careful not to give away the feelings that were exploding within her chest. Sirius felt something in the depths of his stomach watching her face.
"How bored were you two?" Remus demanded.
"So bored, dude, so bored," Peter responded with a pained expression.
Remus laughed. Sirius got up suddenly, without a word, and walked away. The rest of the group watched him go, left behind in a state of confusion.
"What was that about?" Lily asked, looking after his silhouette.
James stared after his best friend, eyebrows scrunched together. "I dunno."
"I got it," Charlie stated, letting her journal fall as she got to her feet. She jogged after him. "Sirius!"
He turned around, yanking a cigarette from between his teeth. He blew the smoke from his lungs agitatedly because even the nicotine couldn't calm the way he felt right now.
"What the hell is up with you?" She demanded.
He stared at her. "I have to tell her, don't I?"
She recoiled. "I," she started, before sighing in defeat. "Can I bum a cigarette?"
"Yeah," he nodded, fishing the pack from his pocket and tossing her one.
He waited for her to light it on her wand and take a long, much needed drag. "You're finally ready to tell her how you feel, aren't you?" She asked after a moment had passed.
"I'm fucking terrified," he answered honestly with a shake of his head. "I mean, look at you and James, no offense."
She laughed without humor. "We're doing better, but I got a good feeling about you and McKinnon."
"Is it worth it? The pain?"
"Sirius," she said, an unexpected tone of sobriety in her voice, as she blew the smoke from her lungs. "My kid sister was murdered in cold blood by people she didn't know. I never told her what I was or what people like me can do. There's every chance she died knowing I lied to her. I regret not telling my little sister a detail about my life...how will you feel if you never tell one of your best friends how you feel?"
His grey eyes smoldered at her. "Did you really just play the dead sister card?'
"Damn straight," she remarked with a wicked grin. "And, I will until I die."
"You're a pain in the ass, Riggs."
"That's what they tell me," she laughed, tugging his hand.
She pulled him back towards their friends. "I meant what I said, Sirius," she whispered as they walk.
"I'm just saying, getting dressed up and getting drunk would be hella fun," James exaggerated as they made their way back into hearing range.
"The hell are you going on about?" Sirius demanded as he sank back to the grass, as if nothing had happened.
"We all get dressed up," James explained with an excited gleam in his eyes, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Guys in suits, girls in fancy dresses, all of it, and we invite fifth years and up to a fucking rager."
Remus smirked with a mischievous sparkle in his eye as he removed the cigarettes from his lips. "And, just exactly where would we be holding this party?"
"The room of requirement," James answered as if it was completely obvious.
Marlene grinned. "Let's do it."
"It's going to take a lot of planning," Charlie said as she lit another cigarette.
Lily got to her feet. "Then, let's get started."
"You just want to go inside," Marlene accused with a smile.
Lily groaned. "It's sweltering out here."
James let out a laugh as he and the rest got to their feet. "Who all are we inviting?" Peter asked, changing the topic of conversation back to the possibility of a party.
"I already said," James responded with a roll of his eyes. "Fifth years and up."
Peter arched an eyebrow. "Even Slytherin?"
James opened his mouth, but Charlie interrupted, "We don't discriminate."
"All of them?" Lily scrunched her nose.
Charlie gave her a look not having to ask whom she was talking about. Severus. "I'll personally kick his ass if you want me too."
Lily hugged her friend's middle with a false pout. "That would be nice, yes."
They began to pull away from the tree to make their way back towards the castle. Sirius cleared his throat, "McKinnon, can I have a word?"
Marlene turned to see a paled expression on the boy's face. The rest of the group suppressed their shit eating grins and turned away from the pair. Lily tugged on James' sleeve, as his nosy tendencies had him hanging back a little; Charlie hopped on Remus' back, saying something about her legs being tired from climbing.
Sirius watched all of his friends leave him with the privacy he had craved, and all of a sudden he felt very, very exposed. His mouth turned desert dry and any words he had planned in his brain, suddenly left him.
Marlene observed Sirius, watching as he dug the toe of his shoe into the mud. "Um, Sirius?" She finally nudged the silence. "Are you okay? Is something wrong?"
He looked up to meet her gaze, and she was struck by the panicked gleam in his grey eyes. "I gotta tell you something."
Her insides twisted in on themselves. She let out a nervous laugh and said, "Did you commit a murder and not tell me?"
He made a humorless sound. "Not quite."
"Sirius, you're freaking me out."
He made a pained noise as he vigorously rubbed his face with his hands. "I fancy you, McKinnon," he blurted out.
The blood drained from her face. You're an idiot if you think Sirius fancies anyone other than yourself. Charlie's words from several months ago, echoed in inside her head. "I, uh, you...like me?" She stumbled over her words.
"Mhm," he nodded, feeling very cold inside.
Her eyebrows came together. "Why?"
Sirius let out a laugh. "That's what you have to say?"
She wrinkled her nose. "Sirius, I..." she trailed off before taking a deep breath.
"You don't have feelings for me, do you?" I'm going to kill James and Charlie.
"God dammit," she muttered before turning away. She covered her eyes with her purple painted nails. How did I get here? She demanded of herself.
Sirius tried to force a smile. "It's okay, Mar. Really, it's not your fault that you don't have feelings for me. We'll just pretend this never happened."
She yanked her hands to her side, balling them into fists, looking like a small toddler about to have a meltdown. "No," she stomped her foot as a last resort of her frustration outlet. "I do have feelings for you, Sirius."
Sirius grinned. "You do?"
"But-"
"Aw come on, Marlene," he sighed, his grin gone. "No, but. Why but?"
She swallowed. "We can't be together."
"Why not?"
"Because we can't."
"What are you so scared of?" He demanded taking a step towards her, a fire ablaze in his grey eyes.
"Everything, Sirius," Marlene barely whispered. "I'm scared of everything."
He outstretched a hand, but he stopped himself before he made contact with her skin. "Like what?" He whispered back.
"There's a war, people are dying, what if we don't work out? What if I lose you as a friend? You're one of my best friends, Sirius."
"What if we do work out?"
Tears filled her eyes. "You don't know that we will."
He took another step forward. "You don't know that we won't"
"Sirius," she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"If we try this," she said slowly, fear trickling in her veins. "Are you giving it your all? Because that's the only way I'm in."
He nodded. "All in."
"Okay, then I'm in too."
That was all Sirius needed. He outstretched his hands and held her face in his grip, lowering his lips to meet hers.