10. "The Truth"
"No freaking way!!"
"Shhhh Nayoung you are too loud!!!" I yelled back and now everybody in the library has their heads turned to us.
"He kissed his best friend's girlfriend?" She still gasping at what I told her.
"He was drunk. I'm pretty sure he didn't know what he was doing." I said.
"Ever heard of drunk words, sober thoughts? Like... Think of it Haejin. What if he actually likes you?!" She said.
I bit my lips, I doubt he likes me tho..
"There is no way. San hates me. He will never kiss me and have any feelings to me. Come on, I know that. Plus Wooyoung is like a brother to him. He wouldn't simply kiss me." I explained..
"Drunk people don't think well." I said.
"Yea true. I know he was drunk. He do it on accident. But, I'm talking about his feelings and emotions towards you." She rephrased.
"You told me before he kissed you he said he had feelings for you and he likes you yes?"
"At least thats what I think he said." I sighed.
"So what if he actually likes you but didn't really mean to kiss you. What would you do??"
"I would do nothing. I'm dating Wooyoung. I have no feelings for San what's so ever." I stated. At least, thats what that came out my mouth. At this point. I think I might have a slight feelings towards San..
"Well, that's what you say. But, what do you really mean?" She furrowed her eyebrows.
"I meant what I mean. I like Wooyoung. Not San. If he has feelings for me then its not my problem." I confidently say. I hate myself.
"I don't think it's that easy." She smirks.
"Of course it is. Come on, I'm not even attracted to San....." I said... I mean.... Am I??
"It's not good to lie. Wooyoung is a cutie and San is too. So.." She crossed her arms.
"Nayoung. I have a boyfriend. Are you really making me fall for that demon?" I sighed.
"No I'm not. I'm just making sure you aren't thinking of liking San. Wooyoung is a good enough man for you." She said.
"I know.. That is why I will not think about it that deeply. Besides... He probably regrets kissing me when the alcohol isn't in his system anymore." I shrugs. I'm sure of it.
"Whatever you say Haejin. Let's hope Wooyoung will not find out about this. I'll pray for you." She smiles ad she shakes her head.
Nayoung is the only friend I can trust. I told her everything and she is always a good listener. She knows about my problem between Wooyoung and San.
She knows about San's second life too out of uni. She is a great company to me ever since I met her. Yea, San would probably kill me if he finds out I told another person about his true identity. But, Nayoung can be trusted.
After our little conversation in the library that probably annoyed all of the students in there. Nayoung had to leave first because she has club activities to attend too. Leaving me alone in there. I continue to do my work until the break is over.
As I was doing my work. I noticed there was a group of girls who sat opposite me. They look at me with such hatred eyes and rolled their eyes at me when I look at them. I decided to ignore them and kept doing my own thing.
I put on my airpods and just minded my own business. After awhile, 5 songs through my playlist has went by. The library started to look emptier. I look at the time through my phone and realized break is about to end soon. So, I collected my things and was ready to head to the lecture hall.
As I walked out the Library door. Something unexpected happened, I screamed when I suddenly felt cold liquid was splashed all over my skin. I gasped in shocked and look around wondering who in the world just did this to me!!!
I hear a bunch of giggles. I quickly wiped my eyes and noticed it was the group of girls from before..
"That's what you get for being such a slut!" They laughed and walked away. I stood there still in shock at what had happen. What's their problem!? what did I even do?!
I sighed and realized what they had splashed on me wasn't just cold water but it was cold chocolate milk. I was so sad and confuse, I didn't know what to do. The library was on the highest floor of the building. Nobody was around to help me. I can't walk back in the library to ask for help as I look like a total mess. I bend down to pick up all my things. All my papers were soaked in chocolate milk, my phone dropped. It was cracked. My favorite hoodie was drenched in the sweet liquid. I felt like crying.
I was actually so sad, scared and angry. My eyes began to be teary.
Why would they do this childish thing to me?!
I got all my stuff back on my hands and rushed to the nearest restroom that I can find. I'm still not familiar with the uni's building as it was huge. So I had to go to the restroom a few floors down.
Luckily since it's after break. All the students are supposed to be in their classes. Thank god nobody was wandering in the hallways.
I picked up my pace and head towards to restroom.
I was a few steps away from the girl's restroom then suddenly I heard somebody calling my name from the other direction. I widen my eyes and look up. I know that voice....
Not now please...
"Haejin? What ha-" I ran into the restroom and locked it so nobody can enter.
I sighed and shaked my head.
Why does this gotta happened to me? It must be Elle. It must be her stupid plan to ruin my life. She must be jealous or something. I just wanted a normal relationship with Wooyoung. I didn't ask for more...
I stood in front of the sink and placed all my things on the sink counter.
I'm all sticky... My hair is also covered with it.
I took off my hoodie and lay in down on the other sink. I turn on the tap and tried to wash my hair with the running water. Using hand foam soap to get rid of the stickyness. I just need to make sure I at least attend my class. If I didn't had class, I would just run back to my dorm. I can't afford to miss any classes....
I quickly washed it off and shoved my wet chocolate covered hoodie into my backpack. I tried to wipe off the chocolate milk stains off my books and papers with a damp tissue but nothing was working. These are all my informations I've been collecting for an assignment... I cursed to myself and wiped my tears that randomly falls to my cheeks.
I did what I could do for now and tied my semi wet hair in a bun and look at my phone. Its cracked, glitching. Things can't get any worst Huh?
Thank god, I wore a tank top below my hoodie today. It wasn't appropriate for class but its better than just a bra. I gathered all my things and wiped my tears dry then unlock the restroom door. I hope nobody knows I was hogging the whole restroom. I took a peek outside and sigh in relief when I saw the hallways was empty. I got out of there and was about to make a run to my class..
Until, he appears out of nowhere and stood right in front of me stopping my tracks.
I widen my eyes and look down. Of course, it's him of all people. I thought he already left. But, he waited for me. I look so miserable right now. I felt like an idiot. I covered my exposed arms.
Can't believe, it has to be him of all people. With his glasses and formal looking clothing. It still messes with my mind knowing this nerdy looking man could be a sex god outside uni. I hate him.
"What happened?" He asked.
"It's nothing." I sighed.
"I need to go to class. Talk to you later." I sighed and tried to walk past him but, he stopped me.
"You want to go class looking like that? Are you insane? Tell me what happen." He asked again.
"It's nothing. It's none of your business. Stop acting like you care with all your fake words. Leave me alone." I raised my voice. I didn't mean too.. But, what happened today and last night has taken it's toll on me. I couldn't help but be upset.
"Yes, I do not care for you. Look, I'm not trying to help you out of pity or for what I've done last night. I just-.." I look at him. Wow, making my heart break even more. I didn't expect that but again, what do I expect from Choi San at this point..
"Yes San, hurt me even more. I need it right now." I snapped.
He sighed and unzip his bag. To my surprise he took out a piece of cloth. Looks like it could be a shirt. He gestured it towards me.
"I don't need it." I rolled my eyes. He said he didn't care so what's the point of this?
"Just fucking take it." He said and threw it at me.
"Or not, you can walk in the lecture hall looking expose like that. Up to you." He said.
"I don't understand you anymore.." I sighed.
"There's no need to understand me Haejin. I never ask you to understand me." He bluntly say.
"Just go now before your late. We can talk later." He sighed and casually walked away.
I can't even make myself think anymore. I'm just too upsad to function at this point.
---
I stormed into my dorm room and first thing I saw is Elle on her bed applying make-up.
"What the fuck Elle?" I cursed at her.
She look at me and furrowed her eyebrows.
"Geez.. What happened to you? You look like a mess.." she looked disgusted and yet emotionless at the same time making me more mad..
"You did this to me. Don't even act innocent right now Elle!" I yelled.
"What the hell are you talking about. I skipped my classes today for your information." She said and continues to apply her makeup.
"Did San told you what happened last night? Is that why you did this to me? You ask those girl's to bully me didn't you?" I crossed my arms.
"San? I haven't talked to San in awhile. I don't know why you are blaming me at something so ridiculous right now.." She rolls her eyes.
"You are the only one that has been mean to me since I moved to this uni Elle. You can't fool me." I said
"Well, maybe your just fooling yourself then. Because, I have no idea what the hell are you talking about." She shrugs.
I sigh in disbelief and walked up towards her. I snatched her make-up brush out of her hands.
I'm not about to sit still and let other's bully me for no valid reason. It's time I stand up for myself because nobody else can help me but myself.
"Excuse me Bitch?!" She stood up to face me.
"What's wrong with you?!" She yells.
"You are jealous of me is that why?" I yelled back.
"I told you it wasn't me who did whatever to you. Yes I'm mean to you because you are annoying and always act like you are a good girl when clearly you are not. You made yourself fall in love with Wooyoung and if you want to have an affair with San then go ahead I don't fucking care. Let's be honest. I know you like San and forcing youself to like Wooyoung. That is something you need to handle by yourself. I already have a perfect boyfriend. Why would I be jealous? It's not even any of my business." She snaps.
I took a step back and placed my fingers on my temple lighting messaging it. There is no way Elle is innocent. She knows so much, I don't trust her at all.
"You'd think I'd be jealous of you and Wooyoung or San whoever you are actually in love with when the truth is. I couldn't care less." she strikes.
"You need to get your shit together because, you are blaming me for something childish I wouldn't do." She continues. She shoves pass me and was about to leave our room but I turn to look at her and she turned back to look at me too..
"You are so naive Haejin. You need to learn. Nobody is nice in this world. People are selfish. People can act nice to you but that doesn't me they actually like you. It's time for you to use your brain and think realistically. Don't be so deceived by what's in front of you." She said.
"Same goes to you. You can act all nice and friendly and kind. But, look at you now. Blaming me for something I didn't even do. Just sit down and think about it would you?" She sighed.
"Whatever it is... I have no time for you bullshit. I'm staying over my man's house until you get your shit together. Apologize to me when you actually know who did that to you." She rolled her eyes and with that she walked out the door.
I stood there just dumbfounded at what had happened. What is wrong with me?
I haven't seen and headed Elle talked that much before and whatever she just said really hit me like a freaking train. I hate how I know she is right at some parts.
Even so, I'm still pretty sure she did it but after her long talk, I now have second thoughts. But she said a person can act. She might be acting too but... What if, it wasn't her.
Why would she be jealous of me? Thats true. She has nothing to be jealous about. She is already prettier. Her boyfriend I believe is Hongjoong seems cool. He is under San's father's gang too. Why would she hate me for dating Wooyoung?
Something isn't adding up. I don't even know anymore.
Whatever is going on has taken it's toll on me. I'm losing my mind..
I hate myself for losing it.
Tomorrow is a new day Haejin. Get yourself cleaned up. I'll try not to think about it.
There is no point letting this upset me further.
---
It's been a few days since the tragic incident happened to me. I didn't tell anybody else about it. I decided to just forget about it.
Whoever did it, I hope karma hits them back. I just want to have a ordinary life at uni.
I am with Wooyoung right now. We are chilling under the willow tree.
He was laying on my lap listening to music as I stared at the sky.
It's so peaceful and calm.
"Hey babe?" He called. I look down at him and smiled.
"Babe? That's new.." I chuckled
"You don't like?" He pout.
"No silly, I do. It's cute." I said.
"Hey..." He mumbles.
"Are you alright? I've noticed you don't look so happy lately. Something in your mind?" He asked.
Yea, how the fact I kissed your best friend, I got bullied and found out you are a gangster and working for the same best friend I kissed's dad?
"I'm fine." I tugged my hair behind my ear.
"Are you sure?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes I am. You don't need to worry for me." I tell him.
"You know how girls would say they are fine but the truth is they aren't?" He muttered.
"I'm fine really. Just..." I sighed.
"Just?"
"Just nothing. Let's get going. I need to meet up with Nayoung." I said.
---
Actually, I didn't have to meet up with Nayoung. I had to meet up with San. I text him last night about giving him back his shirt.
I just needed to end it between both of us. What happened is still lingering in my head everyday since it happened. I need to clear it up. So, I can focus on Wooyoung now.
I've got to admit, I can't stop thinking about because, I might have caught feels over the kiss.
I never kissed anybody like that before...
And it's dangerous if I don't clear this out. I'm dating somebody else. Having this feeling at the back of my head is toxic.
I made my way to the uni's dance studio which I didn't even know existed. Apparently, he asked me to meet him there.
I reach to the location where he said it was and I tried to push and pull the door but it was locked. I tried again but I can't seem to open it.
What the hell?
I took out my phone from my pocket. Was deciding to call him until the door in front of me suddenly opened.
"Oh shit." I placed my hand on my chest. That scared me.
"Come in." He said.
"Why did you lock it?" I rolled my eyes.
"So nobody could enter duh?" He sighed. I walked in and close the door behind me.
He was alone in here. I look at him and he was heavily sweating. His biceps were showing as he had his sleeves rolled up.
I look away and sat on the bench as I wait for him as he was wiping his sweat with a towel.
"Give me a minute." He said. I nod and patiently waited. But as I waited. I couldn't help but stare at him.
No wonder he had the doors locked. If people saw him looking like this, Nobody would think it's the same nerdy San that studies here.
He drank water out of his bottle and I watch how his Adam's apple move as he gulp down that water. Why am I watching him doing this... Snap out of it Haejin.
Why do I notice every detail about him? Stop it Haejin. Get your shit Together..
"Okay, so.. Why do you want to meet up?" He asked.
I stood up and walked towards him.
"San.. Did you tell Wooyoung anything about what had happened?" I asked.
"Why would I? Do you want to ruin your relationship with him? He is happy with you. I wouldn't just tell him like that. Also, I'm not trying to ruin my friendship with him too.." He calmly said.
"As if kissing me isn't already something dirty you could done to him." I sighed.
"Why? Do you want me to tell him?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Of course not! I'm just making sure you didn't say anything.." I said.
"You don't have to worry Haejin. Just forget about what had happened. It's not a big deal. It's just a kiss. Wooyoung will not know what happened. And you need to forget it to help your relationship with him." He easily say. I scoffed.
"Easy for you to say... It's not that easy to forget San. I haven't even.." I paused.
He widen his eyes.
"You haven't kiss anybody before?!" He questioned.
"What no! I've dated somebody else before but let's not talk about that." suddenly remembering my dark past with my ex..
"-what I'm trying to say is. I never kissed Wooyoung yet." I explained.
"Oh.." He mumbled.
"I see.." He sighed.
"I'll just clear it up with you then. Haejin... You kissed somebody else before. I've kiss somebody else before. It's really not a big deal. It will be a big deal if you keep thinking about it." He said.
"How do I stop thinking about it after what you confessed that night too!" I voice out.
There was a long silence after that. He crossed his arms.
"I was drunk. When people are drunk. They don't usually think. Whatever I said, whatever I did had to meaning at all. I'm not attracted to you Haejin. I do not have feelings for you. I didn't even remember kissing you.." He said.
"W-what?" I choked my words.. I didn't expected this. But again, what did I expect? Did I want him to admit he likes me? Maybe...
I'm a terrible person.
"I thought... You were.. You were Naomi. Remember my friend? I thought you were her last night." He said looking away from me. What?! No way...
Of course. It's her. Why would I even think so much of it. It's obvious, he likes Naomi. Naomi even call herself San's girlfriend. I knew they had history..
But... I didn't want to believe it because.. I knew what I heard.
"I could have swore you said my name that night." I mumbled. I don't know why I wanted to prove a point. I wanted him to admit that he liked me...
And for what Haejin? What will you do if he admit he likes you? What's wrong with me?
"I don't remember. I don't think it was for you. Why would I even have feelings for you in the first place? Think about it Haejin. This doesn't make sense. You are dating my best friend." He bluntly say..
He is right. This doesn't make sense. I need to stop.
I'm just delusional.
He explained. I just need to accept.
I came to talk to him because, I thought maybe he actually did liked me. Because... I am having mix feelings too after we kissed.
But, the truth is. I'm just naive like what Elle said.
Choi San will never like you Haejin. Remember that, get your mind out of it. Wooyoung is a perfect man for you. Don't hurt Wooyoung..Stop expecting something from San.
"I'm sorry.. I-"
"Don't be sorry. I'm not hurt at all. Because the feelings are mutual San.. I'm glad you don't like me. Because, I don't too. You are right. Let's forget about this. This doesn't means anything." I tried to laugh it off.
"What?" He mumbled loud enough for me to hear. I loom Directly at him and smiled.
"It was just a stupid kiss. I over think it. Sorry." I said and tugged the strap of my backpack.
"Y-yea.. Exactly.." He looks confused but let out a force laugh.
"I think, I should go.." I smiled as I look down and made my way to the door.
That's it. That will definitely be the last of me and San. I really need to move on. I need to remind myself I don't have feelings for San. The person I have feelings for is Wooyoung not San.
As I pushed the door open. I can't help but to look back at him again.
When I look back,
He was looking at me too but as soon our eyes meet he quickly turn away and pulled up his face mask.
I sighed and walked off.
It's time to delete any thoughts of you from my mind.
"Goodbye, Choi San.." I mumbled to myself.
Shit, why am I crying??
---
Updating for y'all. I'm not lying anymore.
So, what do you guys think. Who was the one who set up the bully for Haejin? Was it actually Elle or somebody else?
And is San telling the truth and will Haejin eventually forget about San?
Well, whatever it is.. To find out continue to give your support hehehe :3
Those who are reading please vote, don't ghost me like that :(
Your support is much needed. Love y'all <3