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"Mom! Dad!"
"You better run little girl, or your next."
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You shoot up out of your sleep. Your breath was heavy, face paced. This was your first nightmare since joining the Van Der Linde gang. You used to have them a lot when you first were out on your own. They didn't happen as often anymore, but they have become much more real.
Knowing you weren't going back to sleep anytime soon, you stood up and walked to the edge of camp. There was a beautiful view of the mountains from camp. You sat on the edge of the cliff and put you head in your hands. You began to quietly sob. You missed your parents so much. Watching them die was the hardest thing you've ever been through in your life.
You suddenly felt someone sit down next to you. "Miss l/n, what's wrong?" It was Dutch.
"Nightmare, I'll be okay." You said wiping the tears from your eyes.
"I saw you come over... Would you like to talk about it?" He asked.
You sighed. You never told anyone what happened that day. You never got to know someone enough to talk about it. The thought of reliving that day scared the hell out of you, but you would have to tell the story eventually to move past it. "It was about my family. I was fifteen. A group of outlaws came into the house yelling something about owing money, I didn't know what they were talking about. It escalated quickly. I was hiding behind the chair." Dutch watched you intensly while you told the story. "They were killed right there in front of me. I screamed and the men found me. The one grabbed my arm and dragged me out from behind the chair, but I was able to get away before they could hurt me. But the vision of my parents dying wouldn't leave my mind, it still doesn't." You sighed. "You know how you asked if I've every been in love? Well I haven't because the only people I've ever loved were killed right in front of me. I'm to scared to love." You explained.
Dutch put his hand on your leg. His eyes were sympathetic, not his usual mischievous look. He turned to look out over the mountains. "I was in love, her name was Annabelle. I loved that women more than anything. I have been fighting with Colm O'Driscoll for years. I killed his brother, he killed Annabelle. I have never felt that kind of heartbreak before. But I have healed and learned, love helps you grow. I've opened up my heart again and I'm happy again. You never forget about the past, but you deserve to be happy." Dutch explained to you.
You both looked at each other in silence. Neither of you said anything, but you were both grateful for the moment of honesty you had with each other. You felt the pressure lift off your shoulders, you no longer felt so alone. You turned to face the mountains, you slowly rested you head down on Dutches shoulder. He was tense at first, but relaxed quickly. You eyes got heavy and you slowly started to drift off. You felt so comfortable with Dutch, you haven't felt that way with anyone since your parents.
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You woke up to Arthur and Dutches voices off in the distance. You sat up to see you were back in your bed. You don't remember leaving the cliff side to get back to bed.
You stood up and walked over to them to see what was going on.
"He would do the same thing for you Arthur." Dutch said.
"I highly doubt that." He responded. The two looked over to greet you.
"Take y/n with you, I'm sure she'd like to get out of camp." Dutch said to Arthur.
"Where are you going?" You asked him.
"Getting Micah out of jail." He responded.
"Ugh, do you have to?" You asked. Arthur chuckled.
"Just go you two, I really appreciate this." Dutch said. He looked at you, that dark look back in his eyes.
"Let's go y/n" Arthur said walking towards the horses.
"What if we say we went but actually don't." You laughed getting on Anastasia. Arthur laughed in response. "I wish we could, let's go." You both rode off to Strawberry.
Dutch watched you ride of and went to sit on his bed. He opened his book to start reading, but Hosea walked into his tent. "How are you Hosea?" Dutch asked.
"What are you doing Dutch?" Hosea asked him.
"What are you talking about?" Dutch asked.
"You know what I'm talking about. Y/n. I saw you guys last night. And I've seen the way you look at her while she's working in camp. I can tell she's had a rough past, you don't want to do anything that could hurt her. Hell does she even know about Molly?" Hosea said.
"Why would you think I'd hurt her?" Dutch asked, getting defensive. "And anyways, I'm not doing anything with Miss l/n, I don't know where you got that silly idea. I was just comforting her last night because she had a nightmare."
"Just please, don't do anything to break her." Hosea said before walking out of the tent. Dutch huffed and opened his book again, forgetting about the outside world.
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You rode into camp by yourself. You saw Dutch sitting in his bed and you made your way over to him. You found yourself trying to make yourself look decent before walking into his tent.
"Where are the boys?" Dutch asked, not looking away from his book.
"Micah said he wasn't coming back until he had a peace offering, and Arthur went to meet Charles and Javier to get Sean." You told him.
"Okay, sounds good." He responded coldly, not looking up to acknowledge you. You could tell something was off, but you didn't know what. "He Dutch can we talk about yesterday?" You asked him.
The memories of yesterday's events still lingered in your mind. No one had ever showed interest in you like that, and you weren't sure what it meant.
He closed his book and sighed. "Let's go for a ride." He said, standing and walking past you. You didn't understand what got into him. You followed and got on your horse, following him out of camp. He lead you to a secluded spot a little ways away from camp. He got off his horse and help you off yours. He stood in front of you and looked into your eyes.
"Dutch, I just wanted to talk about-" you were cut off by his lips smashing into yours. You were taken back by the sudden action. The kiss was rough, like he was starving. Both of his hands were holding onto your face, as your hands rested on his chest. His kisses left your mouth and starting to move to your neck. You threw your head back and let out a quiet moan. This was the first time in a while you've kissed anyone. Your hands ran through his hair as he continued to kiss you.
You put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back. You breathed heavily and looked at his messy hair.
"Dutch." You said.
"Shh." He said before kissing you again.
You were still confused by his actions back at camp, but right now wasn't the time to talk to him about it. His hands roamed your body while your arms were wrapped around his neck. His hands slowly moved to your blouse, playing with the top button. You quickly grab his hand.
"No, not yet." You whispered. It's not that you didn't want him to rip your clothes off, because you did. But, you knew that no matter what happened tonight, you would have to see his face in the morning. You didn't want to mess everything up because of one night.
Dutch pulled himself from you, his hands cupping your cheeks, he was still breathing heaving, and looking into your eyes. You bit your lip while looking up at him, knowing it would drive him crazy.
The light from the moon lit up his face. You could tell something was still on his mind. "What was going on in camp, why were you acting strange?" You asked.
His face got tense. "Just some bad luck on a score, no worries." He responded.
"Oh okay." Your responded, not being fully convinced he was telling the truth. "Well, we should get back to camp Mr. Van Der Linde." You said with a smirk. His face softened as he nodded, placing one more long kiss on your lips.
"Let's go." He said walking over to The Count.
You both mounted up and started to head back to camp. Dutch rode in front of you, which you were grateful for since you were silently freaking out about the nights quick turn of events. The man made you feel a way you've never felt before.
You arrived at camp to see a large gathering of people. "What do you think that's about?" You asked Dutch. He didn't acknowledge your question and walked over to the group. You raised and eyebrow and followed.
"Dutch! I bet you missed me." You heard a new voice say.
"Sean my boy! It's good to see you." Dutch said. He turned to face the group. "Mr Maguires return calls for a party!"
Everyone cheered and started to disperse, pulling out boxes of alcohol. Sean spotted you standing there and made his way over to introduce himself.
"I don't believe we've met, I'm can't believe no one introduced me to such a pretty face." He said taking your hand, kissing it. "This is a beautiful one Dutch." He said looking to Dutch.
"Sure." Dutch responded without looking at you. You were shocked at his response, but didn't want Sean to see. "It's very nice to meet you Sean, I'm y/n." You giggled.
"I'm sure we will get to know each other very well y/n" he said with a wink. He walked off shouting something about the gang being lucky he was back.
Dutch's back was to you. You wanted to say something but you didn't. He was acting strange for someone that had his tongue in your mouth not 30 minutes ago. You tried to forget about it, it was a party after all, and you were going to have fun.