Kabanata 10
Happy
Papa looked so strong and mighty while we were at the entrance of the door. Nakasarado pa ito ngayon at kapapasok lang ng mga sponsors at guests.
It feels so surreal. Everything is in slow motion in my eyes. Even the white curtain and the rustle of the white roses on the arc of the doorway. It was a windy day and my veil flew with the wind. Mahigpit ang hawak ko kay Papa at nakapatong naman ang kamay niya sa kamay ko. Mama is on my side, smiling and assuring me that it's alright.
The door opened. It was like a magical door leading all of us to a new world. Except that this world will hell to me.
Hindi naman talaga ako relihiyosong tao. I talk to God in my head from time to time but this time... as I take my small steps on the red carpet. I confessed that I don't like what's really happening, but I will trust because it is already happening.
Ang unang tanaw ko kay Royce sa altar ay noong nakapasok na kami sa chapel. His eyes were all on me while I walk down the aisle.
Napangiti ako, hindi dahil sa tuwa kundi dahil sa ekspresyon niya. Akala mo naman totoo kung makatitig at makapaghintay.
But one thing may be for sure here, unlike other grooms in weddings, he didn't cry. He couldn't cry. Tears are hard to replicate, huh? For actors, it may be easy. For a heartless man like him, I don't think so.
Nagmano siya kay Mama at Papa bago ako tinanggap. Papa wasn't in tears anymore, in fact he smiled a bit while he gave me to Royce. Tinapik niya pa ang balikat nito.
Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. My eyes full of menace, knowing what lies ahead of us. Meanwhile, his eyes were unfathomable. Nauna siyang bumaling sa altar sa harap. Nagtagal pa ang titig ko sa kanya, mischief still in my head, trying hard to forget about the seriousness of the moment.
The ceremony continued. At tuwing nagkakatinginan kami, naroon pa rin sa isipan ko ang katatawanan at kababalaghan. Royce looked serious. Siguro nasa isipan niya na hindi ito ang oras para sa kabalbalang naiisip ko dahil nasa harap kami ng altar.
I even still have those thoughts in my mind when I faced him for the obligatory first kiss. First kiss, huh? That night suddenly flashed on my mind, pero saglit lang. Nang hinubad niya ang belo ko, ngumisi ako, hinahamon siya sa paghalik sa akin.
His brow raised a bit as he watched my mischievous smile. He licked his lower lip as the crowd cheered and the romantic music is in the air. Para talagang totoo. Ayaw ko na tuloy tingnan ang mga bisita. I feel like some of them were crying because to them this was a magical moment.
Hindi ako gumalaw kaya naman hinawakan ni Royce ang baywang ko, urging me to come near him. Nagpatianod ako dahil sa pagkabigla. And the next thing I knew, his hand flew on my jaw, guiding me to his lips.
Sa gulat hindi ako agad nakapikit. Not that I planned on anything like that. Nakapikit siya habang hinahalikan ako. What he did next was what really drove me to close my eyes. His lips wasn't just a simple smack. His tongue seeked entrance on my mouth and the moment I let my guard down, he claimed mine.
Matagal iyon. Isang bagay na hindi ko inasahan para sa first kiss. It pulled me into a trance that reminded me of some moments of that night. How in the world did I not let Zane touch me like that, while Royce, a stranger, was able to do it. This was precisely the reason. There was something in his kiss. Nagigising ang bawat himaymay ng katawan ko at nakakalimutan ko kung nasaan kami at ano ang nangyayari.
Just when I got lost, that's also when he stopped. Fiery eyes looked at me with playfulness. Hindi naman ako makangisi agad. The remnants of the trance is still in my system. Mabilis siyang bumaling sa bumabati. Kinailangan niya pa akong hawakan para mapalapit sa kanya at muling maibalik ang sariling pag-iisip.
Lutang ako habang nakikipagbatian. Matagal pa bago ako nakabawi. Kahit sa kaunting biyahe patungo sa venue ng reception, at ang kaunting photoshoot sa gitna noon, wala pa rin akong reaksiyon.
And Royce, the savage that he is, took advantage. Ang daming nakuhang picture at video sa amin dahil madali niya akong nahahawakan at naiilalpit sa kanya. His lips would reach my nose, as if kissing me. My heart would skip a bit. Eventually, I got so pissed at my self. Why the hell am I feeling this way?
Sa mga hamon niyang iyon, at sa ngisi niya tuwing nararamdaman ang kaba ko kapag inilalapit niya ang labi niya, nagawa ko siyang tugunan.
I tilted my head for a soft kiss on his lips. He teased me with it, putting his lips near mine, smirking and knowing that I was nervous. Kaya ngayong natauhan na ako, ako naman.
His eyes darkened. He glared at me for a while but he was aggressive. Nilagay ang dalawang kamay sa baywang ko, mukhang mas lalong nahamon.
Nilagay ko naman ang dalawang kamay ko sa kanyang balikat at hinila siya palapit sa akin, angking angkin ang katawan niya.
I'm not finding this delicious, alright?! But I like how he'd stiffen with each soft kiss that I give him. Ang akala mo'y nilaplap ko kakareact niya. Minsan nararamdaman kong inilalayo pa ang baywang ko.
"What's the problem, my love?" I whispered.
"Goddammit," he whispered.
Heto na naman kami, shino-shoot. Paniguradong perfect na naman ang pictures, hindi nila alam kung ano ang totoong pinag-uusapan namin.
"Stop that. Reserve something for our honeymoon."
I chuckled. "Honeymoon? Are you kidding me, Royce?"
"Bakit? Hindi mo ba alam? Hindi ba nakita mo naman ang schedule nating dalawa pagkatapos ng kasal na 'to?"
"Stupid of you to call that a honeymoon when we're definitely not going to honey up. Magbabakasyon sa Maldives, Royce."
Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Oh... you have a thing for labels? Bakit? Masyado bang sweet kung tawagin nating honeymoon? Aatras ka ba?"
I laughed. "Don't make me laugh, I won't. Excited na nga ako makalayo rito at tahimik na magswimming. But don't get me wrong, we are going to have separate rooms."
"And when you'll get mobbed by the media about it, what will you answer?"
Nagtagal ang tingin ko. Naririnig ko ang pamumuri ng photographers at videographers sa ganda ng mga kuha namin. Nag wrap up na sila at mukhang settled down na ang guests sa reception kaya pupunta na kami.
"Fine. Different beds then?"
Ngumisi siya. "Bakit, hindi mo kayang matulog lang katabi ko? Will you be tempted, Sky?"
Ang mokong na 'to laging may baong kabaliwan!
"Hindi ako, Royce. Ikaw! I wouldn't want you getting a hard on while I'm sound asleep."
His laughter roared.
Napabaling ang iilang nagliligpit na videographers. Nakitawa na para bang nagkakatuwaan kaming dalawa rito.
"You really think lust comes first to me? You think I'd be driven by it?"
"Well, then! Go ahead. Magtabi tayo sa pagtulog! Let's see which one of us would remain wide awake till the morning, trying to hide his hard on!"
"Aww. Ang hirap para sa akin, Sky. You can easily hide it when you're wet and turned on."
Seriously this man! I hate him!
"Don't worry, if you think I'm turned on, I'll put your hand on mine so you can check it yourself!" I said dropping the last laugh.
Umigting ang bagang niya kaya ngumiti na ako.
"Let's go, my love. Can't wait to be with our guests and get this over with. It's gonna be our first night later," mataman kong sinabi at sinadyang iparinig sa nakangising mga staff na naroon.
Hinila ko si Royce at nagpatianod naman siya. Ako naman ang nakangisi ngayon samantalang seryosong seryoso siya.
My mood was perfect for our entrance dance and our first dance. I probably look happy and yes, I am. Lalo na dahil mukhang nagulantang siya sa huling banat ko sa kanya.
I was genuinely really happy on the reception. Even the speeches made me smile. Samantalang si Royce, seryosong seryoso. Animo'y isinasapuso ang mga abiso ng matatandang principal sponsors para sa amin.
"A happy wife is a happy life, that is the secret to a happy marriage," the last speaker said.
"See? You should make me happy," bulong ko kay Royce.
Kanina ko pa siya inaasar sa mga abiso. I am enjoying it so much.
He glared at me.
"Maaapektuhan ang performance mo sa business world, kapag hindi ako masaya."
He sighed heavily while looking at me.
"Kailangan pasayahin mo ako."
Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Ano bang klase ang kasiyahang gusto mo? Just tell me, I will provide."
Nanatili ang ngiti ko habang nagkakatinginan kami. Napatingin ako sa kamay niyang hinawi pa ang takas na buhok sa gilid ng mukha ko. Pagkatapos ay nilapag niya ang kanyang kamay sa aking kandungan.
"If it's through the household, I can deal with that. I can cook and clean. If it's through gifts, I'd give you anything you want... and if it's through bed, then I assure you, Sky."
This manwhore!
"Tingnan na lang natin kapag nagsama na tayo."
He smirked. "While on our honeymoon, your things will be sent in my condo unit."
"At gawan mo na rin ako ng opisina dahil magtatrabaho ako pagbalik natin. I'm not gonna be your waiting housewife, Royce."
"That's fine with me. I'd love a working wife, Mrs. Solarez."
"No offense but I'd like to retain my family name while we're in this stupid shit."
"What's wrong with mine?" nangingiti siya kahit na medyo pahapyaw na insulto iyon. "But anyway, of course you can. I don't mind. But I hope you allow me to call you my Mrs. Solarez from time to time. After all, you're my wife. I can't help but be possessive of you."
Napapanis na ang ngiti ko. My eye is twitching because of my suppressed anger. Buti na lang at tinawag kami para sa katuwaan at games.
Kalaunan, natapos ang programme. Nakipagbatian at ilang pictures na lang kami sa bisita. Ganoon din sa pamilya.
Papa didn't have much emotions. He wasn't very participative but he wasn't also unresponsive. Nakikisali lang kapag may pictures at hinihila ni Mama. At nakikihalubilo sa mga relatives namin at mga Tito ko. Pati na rin sa imbitadong business associates.
It wasn't that bad, I think. I was genuinely enjoying everything. Kaya hindi ko namalayan na gabi na at matatapos na ang reception pagkatapos nitong kaunting fireworks.
Everyone was exhausted but still they have plans for tonight. My Titos will drink and they are inviting Royce. My Titas want to swim in the swimming pool at hinahalina rin nila ang mga relatives ni Royce.
All our other guests will either sleep and wake up tomorrow to enjoy the vacation, or be with my Titos and Titas.
I was exhausted but I know they still want to see me after everything. Kaya siguro makikisali din ako sa kanila pagkatapos magpalit na ng damit.
"Naku, nandito pala ang bagong kasal! First night n'yo, ah! Buti hindi pa pagod?"
Ang mga ganoong sinabi ay galing lagi sa relatives ni Royce. Hindi ko alam kung alam ba ng mga tiyuhin ko ang tungkol sa kasal pero hula ko'y may ideya na rin sila. It's Royce relatives that really didn't have a clue about it.
"Ah, oo nga po. Magpapahinga na rin po ako pagkatapos dito," sagot ko.
But it seems like my family didn't want us to sleep early. Kahit na ramdam ko na ang pagod, nag-iinuman pa rin sila at ako naman nakikisali na lang sas mga pinsan.
"You don't look miserable," Roscoe noticed while I let my head lean on the backrest of my chair.
"Because I'm not in tears, Roscoe? Ano'ng gusto mo, humagulhol ako rito?"
He chuckled. "Or maybe you're a good actress. Your pictures looked good. Parang totoo."
"Or maybe you already like him? He's got a reputation so I won't be surprised." si Beau.
"You wish," umirap ako at nagpatuloy na lang sa pagrerelax.
Hindi ko tuloy namalayan na nakaidlip pala ako sa inuupuan ko. I was only disturbed by the feeling of moving. Ramdam ko rin ang higpit ng hawak sa tuhod at braso ko!
It was Royce! His scent was a mixture of musk and whiskey. Nasa pasilyo na kami ng suite1 Agad akong gumalaw at pumiglas.
"Ibaba mo ako! Ako na ang maglalakad!"
"Tss. You're still groggy for sure. Eto na naman, Sky," aniya at binuksan na ang pintuan ng suite.
Nagpumilit pa rin ako sa pagpupumiglas pero dahil nakapasok na, mabilis niya rin akong naihiga sa kama.
How dare him carry me that way on our wedding night? Hindi ko nga lang isinatinig iyon dahil masyado namang emosyonal na meltdown. So what, right?
"Sleep now," he whispered and stole a kiss before I could push him away.
Ngumisi siya. Amoy na amoy ko ang alak sa hininga niya.
"Ambaho mo! You're fucking drunk!"
He chuckled. "Your father still wants me to drink more with your Titos. Don't worry, I'll sleep on the couch later so my smell won't bother you."
Sinimmangutan ko siya. The smell of alcohol on himm isn't necessarily unpleasant. I just said that to annoy him but... it's also alright if he wants to sleep on the couch.
"Tulog ka na."
Unti-unti niyang d-in-im ang lights sa lamp. Sinarado niya rin ang ceiling lights. At tiningnan ako ng maigi, bago unti-unting sinarado ang pintuan.
Hindi ko na alam kung anong oras silang natapos. I just know that when I woke up at dawn, I saw Royce sleeping on the couch. Bumangon ako, para i-check siya roon. I went back to bed to sleep but it's been thirty minutes, and the sun is slowly rising. Hindi ako makatulog na.
Maybe I should just exercise? Flight na namin mamaya at... I prepared the best bikinis for this.
Tumayo ako at nagbihis para makapagexercise. Pero nang palabas na ako at nakita si Royce sa sofa, naisip ko kung gaano ka hirap ang tulog niya. He's a tall man and the couch isn't enough for him. I sighed and slowly went to him to wake him up a bit.
"Hmm..." napapaos niyang reaction sa kaunting kalabit ko.
"Sa kama ka na. Lalabas ako para mag exercise."
He sighed. Slowly, his eyes opened. Pumikit siya ulit at diniin ang mga mata, para bang hindi makapaniwala na ako ang nakikita niyang gumising sa kanya.
"Saan ka?" he asked, still sleepy, but he managed to sit.
"Sa gym nga."
Unti-unti niyang dinilat ang mga mata, kunot pa rin ang noo at tiningnan ang suot ko.
"Saan?" this time, he sounds offended. Parang alam narinig niya naman pero medyo ayaw niya.
"Sa gym!" iritado kong sinabi. "Sige na, matulog ka pa. Babalik ako at magbibihis. Then we'll have our breakfast."
He nooded slowly and then looked at me. Pagkatapos ay tumayo siya, antok pa rin. Sumunod ako sa kanya. Hinantay kong mahiga siya sa kama bago ako unti-unting umalis.