[Riley]
October 21st – 49 days until release
"I'm so glad you were able to make it today Ms. Coleman!" Vanessa greeted warmly in sync with a gesture toward her desk.
Her pale hands flattened out the drapery of her plaid sweater before she took a seat, and I was pressured by her buoyant nature to cease my edginess and follow suit. The only difference was I was instead unzipping my leather jacket while eyeing the plaques and awards that lodged her office walls and shelves. The last time I was here at the XXL headquarters was many weeks ago. At the time I was exhausted and barely paid attention to any of my surroundings, let alone the accolades that were better off being called wallpaper. They were literally everywhere, and I could only imagine the day I had as many as she did in my own home or workspace.
Aside from that, the mere idea of shadowing Lamarr was bombarding me, it seemed impossible and I was so close to declining an assignment that would give me a career boost. Now here I was getting the job done and being comfortable while doing it. I was genuinely enjoying not only interviewing Lamarr but watching him grow. I was witnessing him discover things about himself all while I discovered a few of my own. One being that I could coexist in this world with him and it didn't have to be agonizing. It was all about finding that space, somewhere where I felt gratified and progression. I struggled with that task for the longest up until I faced one of my many fears: Lamarr. I was slowly making it beyond the first stage and at this point I didn't think there was a need for me to proceed beyond to the others. Being civil and in his presence when I needed to be was enough for me to move on freely, especially when everything else outside him and my career were moving slickly now.
"So am I." I replied back as we both gave each other a cordial smile. "I have some great news for you too!"
"I'm glad to hear that. You can share it with me as soon as I give you this." Vanessa placed the latest issue of XXL that was branded a 'special edition' onto her desktop, then pushed it over toward me.
The front cover was my self-designed collage of artists reared in the new school and old school, and the picture was only the beginning of my many moments of clarity with the genre I respected so much. Some of them were so brutally honest that I was sure someone's manager would be in my emails to have a 'talk', while others were nothing but mild truth. They were facts we as music listeners had to accept about the change and others where we had to help execute change.
Seeing a copy in the flesh was nerve wrecking, because now the entire world would be able to scrutinize my deepest thoughts and opinions on a topic so sensitive to many. On top of that I was also responsible for the last issue of the year. Readers didn't have but three other copies and covers stories of the year 2014 to compare it to, and those were all written and constructed by someone with more experience and credibility to their name. I was literally taking a fifty-fifty chance by accepting and writing these cover stories, the chance to make or break the other facet of my writing career.
"Wow, this is real." I mumbled to myself as my eyes traced the faces of each entertainer, and the bold white letters that rested in the corner.
"It is, and this is the first copy. It's all yours." She said back, watching as my eyes ignited and my hands finally grasped the publication. My fingertips ran along the glossed texture and thick binding that had my name printed along it, kindling a smile against my lips. "You did an incredible job with your research, your choice of images to place throughout the story, and Riley, your retrospection was beautifully composed. You have a wonderful talent. If you ever push songwriting aside, just know you're always welcome here."
"Vanessa...thank you. I was worried that I wouldn't live up to the expectations you all had for it."
"You went above the expectations we had. I was glad to see that the sub articles from other writers here fit perfectly, it kept the tone the same through the entire issue. This is definitely a special one for us."
"Now I can't wait to read it!" I exclaimed, allowing my excitement and pride to overcome me.
"You should get to it then," she stated with a lean back into her chair and a grin that expressed her elation for me. "Now what is this good news you have for me? Let's keep everything on this high note, shall we?"
"Oh yes, the Cole issue. It's coming together quite nicely. I was just with him last Friday and he mentioned he was taking a trip back to his hometown to just visit. He also mentioned that he was doing some shooting for his album while there and he invited me to come. I think it would be cool if I joined and clipped some photos of him for the last issue, and get a few more details to complete the story."
"That sounds like a great idea Riley. When are you all going? I can get you a camera and whatever else you may need in time for your departure."
"Next week actually. Cole has his Dreamville Foundation centered in Fayetteville, and he felt that going down there in time for Halloween to have a party and trick-or-treat would be great for the youth they usually fellowship with."
Vanessa didn't quite respond immediately as I assumed she would, instead she eyed me carefully and nodded allowing a silent moment to delay between us. "The two of you seem to be engaging well together," she professed as she tapped her finger against her chin, drifting her eyes from me to her computer screen. "That means his story might be ten times better than the jewel I just gave you. I'm glad this is working out well for you."
"Me too." I nearly whispered.
"So I'll get the equipment ready, and you my dear can get some photography done. I'm eager to see what your finishing product will look like." As she typed away at her keyboard, taking note of what I'm sure was a series of things, a light bulb went off in my head. I suddenly had another idea that I hoped Lamarr would agree to and participate in.
"Uhm, can you make sure the camera has a camcorder as well, or give me both?"
"Of course! I feel like we have a masterpiece in the making plotting out in that head of yours," she marveled, looking up from her screen being piqued by my suggestion. "Just make sure to stop by my office before you leave and I'll have it all ready to go."
"Thank you so much, Vanessa." I expressed as I stood up from my seat. Vanessa shook her head as she glimpsed down at the magazine I never discarded from my grip, and with the amount of pleasure I was taking in knowing that I was responsible for it, I probably wouldn't for a while.
"No, thank you Riley."
We both gave each other a nod that ended our brief meeting, and not long after I was exiting the building in a bliss. The weather in the city this afternoon was keeping me and this exalted mood afloat, and it was confirmation that the rest of my day would roll out smoothly. All of the mobile and bodily movement around me was far from a distraction, it was all merely invisible in this bit I was experiencing.
Once the black, tinted Yukon that I knew was designated for me arrived, I got inside and pulled out my phone, ready to spread some of my zealous energy to one of the top numbers on my call log.
The background noise hit my ears first after a consistent ring quickly faded, before someone eventually spoke up. "My bad Smurfette, I was playing this record for everyone and I guess it's safe to say they love it."
"It's fine, it's fine." I insisted feeling my eagerness rise again. "Guess what I have though?" Before he could even answer I was cutting him off and doing it for him. "I have the first official hard copy of my first major, major piece with XXL! It's real, I'm touching the shit as we speak!"
Lamarr's hearty laugh toward my enthusiasm shaped a heartfelt beam along my lips as I pressed my head against the back window, and admired the same buildings cascading down the street. They were the same buildings I had seen hundreds of times, but today it was as if this was the first. I was finding a new beauty in their appearances. I guess that just goes to show how good I was feeling. I just wish Lamarr and everyone else could see it just as much as they could hear it.
"Yooo I'm happy for you! When can I get my own copy and see whose feet you stepped on in that jawn?"
"When you walk outside to a stand like everyone else and put some cash up to support the cause, baby boy."
"Oh it's like that?" he retorted back. "You can't just swing by here and let me read yours before the rest of the world does?"
"Nope. Besides I have somewhere to be anyways, so that wouldn't work out too well. It's on shelves Thursday since it's a special issue. You can buy it, read it and tell me what you think when I see you Friday night."
"Oh yeah, Mike is having that dumb ass costume party for his birthday Friday." Lamarr recalled briefly before continuing. "Well then, I'll do that and make sure I go brag about it on Twitter or something."
"What! Lamarr Cole is going to use his Twitter account after nearly a decade of abandonment and just for me! I feel privileged." We both found ourselves sharing a laugh at my exaggeration, but everyone knew that this man tweeting, posting something on Instagram or any social media outlet for that matter was rare.
"Ha ha ha, you got jokes. I'm serious though. If it's as good as I assume it is then the world, even if that's exclusive to just my followers, should know about it. I'm taking pride in seeing your growth and even more so being able to experience part of it with you."
"Well thank you. I'd really appreciate it, but that's not all I called to tell you."
"Oh there's more? Let me prepare myself, I feel like this is even bigger." Lamarr teased while the sound of music blared behind him once again. In the thick of it I could hear Mike and what sounded like Ib, obnoxiously howling and clapping as the production they were hearing came to an a close. The cheers became worn before the line became completely silent, and I assumed Lamarr moved further to avoid another interruption. "My fault, those niggas louder than the song itself."
"Those are your friends. They know when to give you encouragement right when you need it, don't they?"
"Yeah, they're alright." he admitted with a slight chuckle. "So what else did you have to tell me?"
"Oh, well I was thinking I could come to Fayetteville with you and finish up the last parts of your cover story. I also want to get a few pictures for it while I'm down there as well."
"Riley Davina Coleman is actually taking up my offer to spend an entire weekend with me and those corny ass niggas back in the studio? Wow." I rolled my eyes at his inflated state of shock. "This is beyond me."
"Oh shut up. You knew I was going to come." I argued, signaling Marco to turn at the corner just feet away.
"Nah, I didn't. I figured you would let me down easily and say you had some arrangements already planned or something. I was preparing myself for a letdown."
"Well you were wrong, my friend. I have this idea too, but only if you agree to it."
"And what might that be?"
"I want to film you while we're there. Just capture some raw moments on camera where you just openly talk and discuss any and everything that comes to mind, all while you're restoring this bond with your hometown and the people there. I won't interview you, I just want you to be yourself."
"And who is this for exactly?"
"The people who support and miss you. Your fans, they haven't heard from you in a while so this video can be your moment to reconnect with them and share what has been happening since you've been in hiding. It's also for yourself." For the second time the line went cold as I waited for Lamarr to accept or deny me. Even if he declined, I would ask again and eventually get the answer I wanted, and I was certain he knew that too.
"Okay, I'll do it."
"Felton is coming, right? He can help me put it together since he has a tad more expertise in that area, and you can help us too."
"Yeah, he's doing the cover work for the album. This all sounds like a plan Director Coleman. What is this? A new hobby of yours?"
"No, just something I wanted to do for this amazing era I'm fortunate enough to witness unfold. It's all for keepsake."
"For keepsake," he murmured to himself. "You make it sound like this is the beginning and end." Now I was the one left with nothing to say. I was in the motion of biting my tongue, trying to refrain from uttering anything that would trigger this conversation, and move it into a direction I wanted to avoid. Lamarr's remark was meant to be taken as a joke, but we both knew deep down that the intent behind my comment that prompted it was just that; I wanted something to look back and remember when this was all said and done.
"Lamarr, I...can I call you back a little later? I made it to my destination and it calls for me to get off the phone. I'm sorry." he cleared his throat almost as his way of ridding the air of any negative feelings that were unexpectedly weighing it.
"Alright, I'll be waiting for that call. Have a good one, Ry."
"You too, Lamarr."
Once he hung up it seemed as if I forgot where I was and what I was doing. My mind blanked out and I was instead sitting in the same spot, still piercing my lip as I mentally prepared myself for when Lamarr would bring up this touchy moment we had just encountered in our conversation. I wasn't quite ready for that, and hoped it would slip his mind before the next time we spoke.
The sound of my door being tampered with and opening was what did the trick at dragging me out of my thoughts, and snapping my belt from around.
"Ms. Coleman, are you alright?" My eyes looked up, following the echo of Marco's voice. I suddenly forgot he was here too.
"I'm fine, I just had a moment." I grumbled, grabbing his hand to help sturdy myself as I got out of the car, and it unwittingly helped gather myself out of the daze I fell into. "You can take the rest of the day off Marco, I have it from here."
"Are you sure? I don't min-" Once he took notice of the expression on my face he stopped mid-sentence and smiled, closing my door as I moved out of the way. He knew better than to second guess me. "Well don't be afraid to call me if you change your mind."
"I won't," I assured, smiling back before wrapping my scarf tightly around my neck. "And I meant I won't call you because you're going to go home to your family and rest for the remainder of the day. Thanks again, Marco."
"No, thank you, Ms. Coleman."
His appreciation was noted, and seconds after the truck drove off my eyes wandered to the architecture ahead of me. It was the reason I was standing here. The ebony concrete built store front of an apartment building was the first location out of three that Tate had narrowed his potentials to. I promised I would be here in time to view it, or before the realtor began the quick tour around the city to the other two locations. Based on my watch, I was now walking through the door just in time for both.
"You made it." He said softly, his arms opening wide as I walked right into them for a hug.
"I wasn't sure if I would but this place wasn't too far. This is still Flatiron, right?" Tate glanced down at me as I raised my head from his chest, and shrugged before laughing lightly.
"I have no idea. There are way too many neighborhoods in this city. I never figured out what streets divide them all."
"Me neither," I admitted, drawing my body away from the temporary warmth of his own. "We'll just say that it is for the time being."
"We've got a deal. So tell me, before the realtor comes in and disturbs us, how did the meeting go?"
"Oh you mean the meeting for this?" The magazine was still fastened to my fingertips like it was permanent, and Tate could tell from the way I waved it in front of him, matched with my rushed antics that the meeting went well. "This is the first copy and the editor-in-chief told me that it was exceptional! Well she didn't use that word but close enough."
Tate took the book from me as I easily gave it up, and examined the cover closely. "This is your artwork too, isn't it? You're just creative all around."
"I try." I confessed coyly. "I wanted to keep the piece as a whole one and the same. I didn't think it would be a good look to have me writing it while the photos and cover work are being fashioned by someone other than myself. They would've ruined it."
"I see nothing wrong with that." His accord was low as he flipped through the pages and smirked once he made it to the first page pinned by none other than me. "This is incredible Riley, I know how much of your soul you put into this. Music is your life, R&B and hip-hop more than anything, and now you've done the latter some justice."
"I might have. We have to wait and see what the people say first."
"They're going to love it." Tate's arm slithered its way around my waist, gently hauling me close to him before he planted a sweet kiss on my forehead and went on. "Trust me on that. You deserve this."
"Thank you..." I breathed out, our eyes locking to each other's as I stood on the tips of my toes and he leaned down enough to seal our lips completely. It was then, when I draped my arms around his neck, that I realized the huge difference in height of our frames, and that we were finally kissing. He was being meticulous with the way he handled me, from the grip of his arm and fingers as they seized my waist and from the way he painfully, slowly began to nibble and suck at my bottom lip. I was tempted to trace the tip of my tongue along the curve of his mouth and even assault his own tongue, but I was afraid I'd miss something. Like the purpose for his careful motions were to give absolute attention to my lips, attention they yearned for and needed for some time now. So I played along, only hoping he would speed up this pace and explore my insides. The anticipation was enough to elicit a moan from my mouth, and a loud knock against the wall that dragged us apart.
"Oh my god," slurred out as we both towed our bodies from the other, being flustered and embarrassed when we turned around and saw the realtor smiling timidly. Tate kept his head low momentarily as he wiped away the gloss glazing his lips, and returned her expression.
"Uh, sorry about that. We were just celebrating?" he said not being sure if that was the right word to use. Tate's vagueness only made the three of us chuckle, and it cleared the air of awkwardness.
"It's okay." she ensured. "Should we start now?" That was something we all agreed on.
Who knew that the process of driving back and forth across Manhattan, searching for the perfect building in the most appealing neighborhood was strenuous, and would take three hours plus long? Though Tate had narrowed his options down, he didn't leave any room for one of them to be a 'bad choice'. They all were spacious enough, in plain sight for people to spot, and the environment around each one set a tone, one he needed to attract and keep customers. My indecisiveness wasn't helping him come to a verdict either. That was until we got to the last location and one small detail, we almost didn't notice, closed the deal.
"Right there!" I pointed to center of the barren space where it looked as if a platform once resided. "You see that outline? It looks like a stand was there, something that was leveled from the main floor."
"You mean like a stage?" The bright smile and twirl I took on my heels as affirmation made the realtor who stood aside giggle under her breath, and Tate shake his head. "So you're implying that there was a stage there and you're saying I should put it back...?"
"Aren't you glad we can read each other's minds?" I asked jokingly. "But yes, I think the platform being there for live entertainment would be awesome. You can start it just in time for your dinner sessions, say from six to closing time. A performer or band can play to kind of set the mood for your customers. I mean...that's if you want to do that."
"The idea is actually a good one." He said, stroking the hair on his chin. "So this is it?"
"This is it." I proclaimed, and Tate looked over at the realtor giving her a solid nod. "We should go and celebrate for the rest of the evening. We both were blessed with something we've both been wanting for the longest, so why not? What do you say?"
"I think that would be the icing on top of this day." He agreed, moving closer to me to rest his arm around my shoulder. "Where should we go and eat?"
"I was thinking I could cook for you this time around."
"After you told me straight up that you burned greens?"
"Hey!" I gushed and lightly smacked his chest. "I was in high school and very inexperienced. The least I can do is cook up some baked chicken and a nice stir fry."
"And you promise not to kill me?" he questioned with a smirk plastered across his face.
"Tate!"
"Okay, okay," he laughed as I slit my eyes, and we both began walking toward the realtor who neatly organized and stacked what I assumed were the lease and other important forms on the property. "We can go to your house for dinner tonight."
"While you're there you can help me decide which costume I should wear Friday. I'm not sure if I want to be a naughty ninja or sexy SWAT commander. These names are all true to form, just throwing that out there."
"Off the bat I vote naughty ninja. You can just save the other one for later."
"And why might I do that?" The question was rhetorical because I knew exactly where his mind was. Tate didn't need to make his sexual appetite towards me known, I could decipher it clearly during some of our exchanges, and how he would slyly infer things. Some were innocent and others were on the same exact wavelength as my own desires. There was tension budding between us and I couldn't vow how much longer I would wait before I caved in. A piece of me wanted to hold some standard for myself and wait it out another month or two, while eighty-seven percent of me wanted to mount this man like the fine ass stallion he was.
Just in time, before he could be a wise guy and pitch me a comeback, the realtor was passing over the paper work she had placed into a brown kraft envelope, and sent us on our way. With one fleeting scan over the chocolate stained storefront that resembled the first one we visited, and that peaked out from the corner of 26th and Broadway, the two of us left in Tate's car and headed to our complex.
The second half of the ride back was still. All that transpired after Tate and I conversed about how our days developed and if I should consider takeout was silence, and a couple of stares back and forth at one another. Each one was combined with a smirk, and riled up this impulse I had to kiss him again. I wanted to continue what we had started hours ago and what was unfortunately cut short. The minutes in the car and those that loitered after as we entered the complex and headed up the elevator, all came to a halt once we entered my apartment.
The door shut behind us and in an instant pieces of clothes from each of our bodies were being tossed around. On the floor, to the couch and along a trail to the kitchen, we both found ourselves baring it all. Our lips were finding harmony together again and this time Tate's pace was much faster and a lot more aggressive. His tongue was making a grand entrance into my mouth and explored it wildly as his weight pushed against me, leading us both into the kitchen. There was space everywhere, enough to contort me into several positions all while we found comfort, and reached our climax. The way our hands rubbed against each other's skin, there was no way either of us were stopping, and he proved that as his wet lips left the web of my mine and trailed down the skin against my neck. With one swift lift I was being raised onto the counter top with my thighs pushed open, anticipating for his tongue, his finger or something to graze my skin.
This race to satisfy each other was far from over and instead officially starting as we both fiddled around at zippers and buttons before finally being released from the last articles of clothing that felt like contraptions. Tate's eyes studied every inch of my body while his hands caressed my thighs and before I could utter out a command for him to please me, his erection was being freed from his boxers. When and where Tate managed to retrieve the condom that he slid with ease over his engorged tip was beyond me, but I was thankful for it as he positioned himself against my moist lips. Unknowingly or maybe knowingly, with the action alone he was tampering with the rush of hormones firing through my body.
"Put it in...please." I begged as he massaged my flesh and damn near sent me over the edge. I was now leaning back as if that would do the job of getting him inside me.
The tortuous teasing came to an end as he slowly entered me. My back arched even more as my walls accepted every inch of him he slid in. I was coating his length and letting every inhibited and thick moan escape my mouth as they had longed to. I was accepting every stroke inside me and letting every spasm free. There was no more holding back, and I guess it was safe to say we were delving into our dessert way before dinner.
---------——
[Lamarr]
Sleep was something I only fantasized about these days, but the toll it was taking on my body due to an absence of was real. The exhaustion was my reality, and even knowing this and the affects it had on my health, I still kept pushing. All because there was more work that needed to be done and time was winding down.
Every time a clock ticked and another set of twenty four hour passed I grew more satisfied with myself because I was a step closer. My eyes might have been bloodshot red and heavy, limbs may have been weak, my appetite may have been nonexistent and ears ringing, but I still found content in that. With a heap of physical stress taking over me I was still pleased. Tonight however, I left behind the rest of the guys in SoHo and came home early. I figured if I were up to it, I'd finish some minor touches on a song in my home studio, if not I'd instead try and rest my eyes until the next bustle of drive stung me, and I was back to creating.
"Lamarr..." Melanie cooed from the bedroom. "You're home early. I just knew you would come in late like usual." My eyes angled in her direction and caught a flash of her legs that peered from her black silk robe. Her teal painted toes crept across the marble floor of the living room and into the kitchen, where I sat at the counter almost mesmerized by her bareness. Mel's caramel thighs and slim calves were enough to pull me out of skimming through playlists on my MacBook to give her all my attention.
"What you got on under there? I put five on it there's nothing," Mel snickered lowly and walked behind me right before I felt a tender peck on my neck. Her lips lingered up to my ear where she whispered back.
"I have on your favorite panty and bra set. The red silk and lace, just how you like it." she paused then slowly stood up. "But I was too lazy to put on pajamas so I stayed my ass in them and a robe instead."
The abrupt change of volume and sensuality in her voice made me chuckle.
"You're a tease." Melanie shook her head and pulled her body away from mine, then walked around to the other side of the counter.
"I am not," she chuckled back. "I'm about to change into one of the pajama sets I have laid across the bed once I try on these costumes. I need to make sure at least one of them fits or else I'll have to find a new one."
"Wait, you changed your mind?" This was new. The discussion we had about attending Mike's party together was kept to a minimum. Melanie initially objected and said she would stay in, but now she had a change of heart. I was somewhat happy she did since Mike was family to me and her both, and skipping out on something he was thrilled about would be rude. The nigga would be crushed to say the least, even if he didn't show it.
"Yeah, I mean I haven't been out in a while, it's a Friday and it's Mike. I'd feel horrible ditching his birthday celebration for Lifetime and a pint of Talenti. I kind of need to get out and live again after these last couple of weeks anyways."
"You're always worried about me but what's going on with you? I noticed the mood swings, and a few nights ago I came in at two in the morning and you were wide awake. Then when you finally fell asleep, some hours later you woke me out of my sleep with your tossing and whimpering. You having those bad dreams again...about the...?" I stopped before I could put myself in a funk.
Melanie turned her back to me and opened the fridge for a cold water, all her way of disregarding my worries. I didn't bother her about the things I noticed because she was the type who wanted to solve her problems herself. She never asked for help, or looked for it and when she was under pressure she never disclosed it. That however didn't stop me from observing it. In due course she'd come clean and say what was going on with her and what was on her mind, or she'd find a way to get by and act as if her problems never existed. I don't know how I dealt with it, but I did and one day I hoped she'd open up for her own good.
"So I guess that's a yes...a no?"
"I'm just stressed out from work." she hissed back quickly. "Somehow my sleeping pattern got ruined and I'm just struggling to adjust."
"Well is there anything I can do?" Mel tugged on her lip anxiously then looked away.
"Just tell me you love me again."
"I love you Mel."
"No matter what?"
"Haven't I always said that?" Melanie didn't answer. Instead a faint smile played along her lips, and the longer this conversation carried on I was left concerned more than I ever have. Something was obviously troubling Melanie to the point she was visibly fatigued by it and I knew there was a countdown pending before she exploded. This was just who she was.