The sunlight slapped my face forcing me to wake from last night dream.I fluttered my eyes open only to be met with a greek god sleeping next to me.Wait that was real this wasn't a dream I truly slept with Mason.
His back was facing me,and I started to think back when we used to fall asleep in each others arms it's like we were bond to be together.
Mason stirred in the bed and his eyes widdened,he yanked the covers from his body and went to his closet.I was confused why he acted like that when he glanced at me.After a while he came back with pants on him and in his hands he holds a white shirt.
"Put this on we need to talk"He was unlike him it seems he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.I put quickly the shirt on and saw him staring at me.
"Yes Mason is there's anything wrong or-"
"Listen here you mean nothing to me.We're just friends and what happened yesterday was a mistake and will never be repeated.You're like the other girls that I slept with plus I wasn't in my mind when this happened betwen us it was just a one night-stand so don't think about being with me right now"
My world stopped everything around me is spinning it seems like I'm still dreaming and not wide awake and facing a harsh reality.Every word that he spoke out of his mouth went straight to my heart and shattered it even more.I can't believe the only one I trust is treating me like I'm a slut that he spent the night with.
"I mean nothing to you but you mean the world to me.I always loved Mason King but you were so oblivious to see what's behind my broken heart you were blind enough to not see the amout of love hidden in there"I started to yell at him,my tears kept falling like a stream.I can't believe it how love blinded me and deprived me to see his true self.He's way more than a beast maybe a beast can have feelings unlike him he's more like a stone.
I hurried out of the room not wanting to spend one more second with him in his room.I plopped myself down on my bed and hugged my pillow and strained it with my tears,muffling my loud and painful screams.I didn't have any more energy I felt asleep on my pillow strained with my own tears and sweat.
I woke up when I heard my phone ringing.I instantly picked up my aunt's doctor was calling.My heart is throbbing loudly I could hear it pulsing in my ears.
"Good evening Abrielle how are you?"
"H-hello Doctor Smith I'm fine is everything okay with my aunt?"
"Abrielle I know this will break you but I-I'm sorry for your loss"
"M-my aunt is o-okay right?"I chuckled not believing what he's talking about
"I know this is hard for you but unfortunately we lost her"
And with that the Dr.Smith hang up and left me batteling with my mind.
I got used to the pain it won't get away from me it's like life is defying me batteling with me asking me to submit but I won't even when I am underground,fighting with the demons to get a breath from the earth even if every piece of my heart is shattering.
I won't show anyone how weak I am I won't give them the permission to see me crying.Death made me hard from the outside I just hide everything,every emotion that I feel and mask it with a smile like there's nothing stabbing me in my heart.
I'm tired of everything I'm tired of losing all the time.The walls are caving in they are suffocating me,they are taking my breath away and preventing me to inhale the air of happiness.
The pain is excruciating it feels like my heart is tearing apart.I screamed but nothing helped me,I punched the mirror but nada I need to help myself I need to free myself from this cruel and merciless life.
It's like I'm devoted to lose everyone I love and live with the painful memories that will be stuck forever in my mind.
⚠️[Self-harm scene if you're not comfortable don't read it]
I'm useless I can't give anyone happiness I am nobody and I will never be somebody.
I'm nothing I must die there's nothing left for me to love in this life.It's true that I said I won't submit to life but it seems that I can't defy life.Nobody loves me they all left me crying in a corner not knowing what to do with meaningless life.I need to discharge myself from this void.
Blood all I want now is to see every single droplet of blood pourring out from my veins.The air, the sun,the moon,everything around me is useless without my parents.So why am I still grasping my life whilst I know that I can't breathe.This need to end up now.I took the glass and started to cut deep enough to slit my wrist open.I wasn't satisfied with the blood loss so I kept inserting the shred of glass in the wound until I was swimming in a paddle of red painting that enfold my grief.
Everybody left me nobody stayed with me and kept his promise.I loved and I loved till I lost everything that I love.It's like this life don't have the key of my happiness it's like the key was lost amid the sea.
Blood was slowly draining from my veins and life is slipping away from my hands.
I can't see anything around me all I can see and feel is my acute pain.
[Self-harm scene ended]
Yesterday I didn't know what happened to me.I slept with Abrielle in my arms but I know very well this wouldn't last
I need to hurt her in every possible way I need her to be distant I don't want her to be on the line for me I don't want her to interfere with my world even if it means breaking her.
When I woke up today I saw her starring at me with an unknown emotion hidden in her beautiful eyes but I hurt her so much and humilate her.I treated her like she was a rag doll and it hurts like hell to see her eyes rimming with tears.She confessed her love to me but I won't.I will push her away she can't be with me she will be in danger every second,she will live with fears all her life.
Even if we had a family together it will be ruined.She doesn't know the world I'm living in.One enemy goes down the other appear I truly don't fear to die but I will be terrified if something will happen to her she's everything to me.I know she's hurt because of me but I'm trying to make it better piece by piece by not risking her life.
She's been in her room since the morning she didn't eat a thing all I can hear is her sobs,screams and glass shattering.I went immediatly to her room frightened that she is hurting herself because of me.I knocked on her door but she didn't open it.
"Abrielle open the fucking door now or I will barge in"
Still no response what is she fucking doing in there.I broke the door and entered the room.Her room was messy,her bed sheets are laying on the floor,her mirror is smashed to smithereens.Their was blood droplets on the floor I followed the path that they lead me to and I was terrified from what I saw in front of me.This was the first time I see Abrielle like that devastated,lifeless and numb.Blood was trailing from her veins to the floor you could see a puddle of blood underneath her.
This was the first time in my life that I fear something.I am scared to lose her she's the only thing that keep me sane in this life she's the only girl who can tame my beast and make my heart beats faster everytime she walk by.
"I got you.You're going to be okay just keep your eyes open Angel stay with me"
I took my phone from my jacket and called Aidan.
"Aidan prepare the car quickly I'm coming down.A-Abrielle cut her veins.She's losing so much blood hurry up"
I hanged up and saw Abrielle's lips twitching into a smile.I carressed her cheek with my thumb and wiped away the tear that escaped her eyes.
"I-I will a-always love y-you even t-though what y-you said hurts l-like hell"Her eyelids started dropping and I quickly carried her to the car.
"Shit shit.Stay with me Abrielle focus on the sound of my voice and try not to close your eyes.Don't give up on yourself now please princess I know that you're strong,you're a fighter like your father."
If I lose her all my life will fall apart everything will come crashing down on my feet.I will be killed inside void of any kind of feelings.She's my savior she pulls me up everytime I fall on my knees.I know I hurt her but she will never leave me right?She's Abrielle the Abrielle I know never leave anyone who loves her.
_______________________________
What if Abrielle's give up on her life and let everyone who cares about her down?
What will Mason do without her if she abondoned him and made him homeless?
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