wow.
so, that happened.
you woke up from whatever and wherever you were.
your eyes fluttered open.
you felt weak as fuck.
like, realllyyy fuckin weak.
'oh my god i think her eyes moved'
'oh my god!'
'SHE'S ALIVE'
'guys it'd be a good idea to be quiet around her'
you couldn't move for a second. it felt like your muscles had to re-learn how to move. then you felt the platform you were on move up. you were in a dress, tubes going in and out of you. patches here and there. damn.
fuck. what happened?
it took you a while to realize you had overdosed. on the fentanyl pills you took. and-
shit.
your bruises were showing on your arm. both from the needles and michael. wait-
you looked around, eyelids heavy. you saw mattia's family, the boys, your family, nikki, gael, and jordan. and a doctor.
but no michael. that bitch.
you let out a groan.
fuck my life.
it seemed as if no one knew what to say or do for a second. then y/s/n came up to you and gave you a small teddy bear. you weakly smiled in appreciation.
y/s/n: you almost died
no shit.
y/n: thanks. i haven't noticed.
why was it so hard to talk?
there were flowers and balloons and plushes everywhere. everyone came up to you like you were in a casket of some sort, handing you gifts and shit.
then came the talking.
you were so fucking tired and irritated. you came back from a deep, dark hole. how were you supposed to live a normal life now? you hated it here.
mom: oh my gosh, thank you god
she said crying and hugging you. your dad hugged you as well.
mom: what made you do what- what you did?
dad: how come you didn't tell us what was going on?
mom: who gave you all these bruises? you have a BRUISED ribcage!
dad: whoever did this to you i will beat their ass, you hear me? who did this to you?
everyone else waited to exchange words with you awkwardly. you shook your head.
it said 'i don't wanna talk about it'.
mom: you are GOING to tell us because WE are going to press charges!
you don't know why but the way she said that and the way she looked made you laugh. but when you laughed it hurt.
dad: this is NOT a laughing matter we are being serious.
oh wow. since when did they care?
you just lay there, almost, embarrassed. people were looking at you like you were some psychopath.
you parents walked out to talk about it outside, you were guessing. y/s/n following them. next up, nikki, gael, and jordan. still no michael.
nikki: hey bitch.
you smiled. they gave you chocolate and flowers. she shook her head laughing, then her face went stern.
nikki: damn. a whole 3 huh?
you weakly nodded your head.
gael: michael's in juvenile prison right now.
wait. WHAT?! so were you guys broken up or what?
y/n: why
jordan: got caught in a drug deal. he had a lot of shit on him too.
nikki: did he give you these bruises? we don't tolerate a women beater. we know he has anger issues and all but that doesn't excuse him.
you nodded yes. he was in juvy anyways. then you started crying. it was a weak cry. they hugged you.
everyone was fucking hugging you.
did any of them mean anything though?
jordan: wow. he really... wow. i mean, he's in juvy now. he was a brother but a women beater. karma got to him. we'll take care of it puta. we love you.
aww. they hugged you goodbye and left, allowing the rest of the people in the hospital to talk to you.
wow. this was awkward.
what was left was mattia and his family, and the boys.
what the fuck? basically, the people that hated you.
you didn't know where you and mattia stood though. you heard his words when you were stuck in that dark place. wherever the fuck you were.
you just didn't think much of it.
of course he said those things he said. of course he brought flowers and all those gifts.
it took you to almost die for him to show he cared. then again, you did cheat on him.
roshuan: hey y/n.
you awkwardly smiled.
alvaro: here's a get better card. from me and roshuan.
he left a 'get well soon' card next to all the other gifts you received.
robert: a fidget spinner
what the fuck haha. you smiled a smile that said 'lmfao what the fuck'
robert: for when you get bored
he said laughing.
alejandro: a cute little.... uh, pig plush... thingy. haha.
this was awkward. you weakly smiled in appreciation. you felt so fucking weak.
dead or alive it felt the same.
mattia's family came up to you and told you their 'get wells' and shit. that left mattia.
he waited last for a reason.
your anxiety went up.
fuck.
mattia: hey.
you faked a smile.
mattia: so... uh, did you hear me?
you nodded your head.
mattia: guess i was too late.
he said.
y/n: please don't think anything was ever your fault. you weren't even supposed to be associated with me after what happened in the first place.
mattia: yeah but... i still care for you. and i hate that it took you to almost die for me to realize that. i was being stubborn.
y/n: why.
mattia: what do you mean why?
y/n: why do you still care for me? did you forget i cheated on you?
mattia: because we had a love that i can't forget.
y/n: yeah and i fucked it up. you're weird.
he laughed.
mattia: i uh, have your stuff. your... stash. in my room. before the paramedics came and shit i took it before someone else found it.
y/n: aww, thanks polibio.
he smiled.
mattia: i low key miss you
he said sighing. you fake smiled.
y/n: cool.
he laughed.
mattia: what do you mean 'cool'? since when did you get all rude?
y/n: since i almost died. since everyone showed no affection for me whatsoever and it took me to almost fucking die for my own fucking family to see i need help. since my own fucking boyfriend did...
you were crying and stopped mid sentence. mattia held your hand.
y/n: do you really miss me? huh?
mattia: the sad thing is i do.
silence.
then he hugged you. you haven't hugged him, let alone touch him, in so long. you didn't realize how much you missed him until now.
mattia: come on, you cheated on me and i saved your life. least you can do is hug me back.
you tried to, but your arms felt so weak. he noticed your struggle and let it go.
mattia: it's fine.
he said chuckling.
mattia: sooo.... michael.
y/n: what about him.
you said, more of a statement than a question.
mattia: just asking damn, chill. you said he did... ?
y/n: yeah you were right there was something weird and off about him woohoo
you said sarcastically.
mattia: i don't care if i'm right or not, even though i was right, but i care about what he did to you. what did he do? be honest.
y/n: god mattia why do you care?
mattia: why can't i care? huh?
y/n: i'm not in the mood.
you were easily irritated and mad and sad and weak and you wished you died. just a few minutes you were scared to but now you wish you could go back to that. why?
mattia: when i saw you laying there my heart really fucking hurt and i don't know why. i'm still trying to sort my feelings out. i obviously still care for you. do i still love you? maybe i do. maybe not the same way i used to but i do. can't you just accept that?
y/n: mattia, after so many fucking people show nothing but hate and disrespect towards you its hard to believe that oh someone actually cares. so i'm sorry.
you felt like michael. bipolar. you didn't wanna become michael. you started to break down. again.
mattia: you're going to get through this, ok? even if it means having me by your side. and i don't know why you won't just let me care for you but i'm going to.
y/n: i don't know what i'm feeling either, ok? or how i'm feeling and i can't give answers and i just want to fucking DIE ok?!
you cried and cried and cried. he was taken by surprise by your outburst.
y/n: i wanna be alone
you hated that he saw you like this. your walls were up and wouldn't come down until probably later. you felt so much anger inside you and for what?
you had disappointed your family for sure. once again.
people felt bad for you and you hated that.
mattia got told to eventually leave. he left you and he had a concerned face.
shit, you were concerned for yourself.
you were embarrassed and you were scared for when michael would come back. you already told his friends that he abused women and they were really against that. and they said they'd take care of it. you didn't know about the others in his gang, but the ones that visited you didn't tolerate it. and those were his close friends. you were scared.
and you wanted to die.