Should I text back? I was so perplexed. I wasn't in the habit of ignoring the messages I get. Even though I might sound uninterested in talking, but I reply. This was one of those cases where I didn't want to reply. Afterall, I didn't want to give him my number in the first place.
"You there?" He texted again. I opened the message and pressed the back button. I felt a little bit of guilt which started to kick in, but sometimes, sometimes you have to take stern measures to protect. To protect before it is too late. To protect him from the damage I always cause. "Precaution is better than cure," I had always told myself.
"Listen for a moment," He texted again,"I like your friend."
Wait. What? I couldn't believe it. Was it a dream? My heart was throbbing. I felt as if my heart was kept next to my ears. AUSTIN SMITH LIKES SUSAN DEXTER. I didn't reply for a minute and in that one minute, I had innumerable feelings and one of those feelings included feeling sad. I felt sad for two reasons. Firstly, Austin used me as a bait to get to Susan and secondly, I didn't know. Out of all the feelings, which included surprise, excitement and happiness for Susan, sadness dominated all of the other. Even though most of us have infinite reasons to be happy, but we always feel sad for that one thing we could not get. Likely, even though I had all the reasons to be happy about, but still two reasons dominated how I felt.
"Wow. I am so happy to hear that. I will make sure both of you meet soon," I texted back. Finally.
"And if I say this was a joke?" I read the text from Austin and as soon as I read it, I realised that I wasn't being used as a bait, but my 'friend' was.
"Can you do things normally for once?" I texted back. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed and pissed off at myself. Why didn't I think it over before becoming the fish?
"That's me. Being normal. Why are you still waking up? Waiting for my text? Oh, Sorry for being late." He sent successive texts, one after another.
"It's okay." I realised the mistake I had made only after the text was sent. It wasn't really my fault, after all. My mind was preoccupied with thoughts, it was late at night and it is a basic instinct to say 'It's okay' to a 'sorry.' Well, it didn't matter now. The arrow had left the bow.
"OMG!!!!! So you were really waiting for my text..." As soon as I read that text from him I didn't know what to say. Even if I say - 'That was by mistake' I knew he wouldn't believe.
"My mom texted that. I didn't." Well, I only realised that it was stupid thing to say only after sending it.
"Bad try, Jane. Your mom is at my house tonight. Didn't she tell you?" Damn. I hadn't seen her since the dinner and that was before 9.
"Mom," I shouted loud enough for my dad to get worried.
I heard the footsteps, they were fast. Also, I heard notifications popping up on my screen, but I didn't look at it. In the midst, I realised I was getting dad worried for no reason. My mom had a life to live. I was being the handcuff to her hands who was prisoned for loving her daughter.
Dad came into the room along with MOM. Fuck. Care and horror on their face was so evident. I couldn't help but feel the remorse inside me. "What happened?" They said in unison. What was I supposed to say now?
Sitting on my bed, I opened my arms and called them to hug me. Three of us hugged and I don't know why, but I started crying. This hug was due from a long time. I couldn't remember when we had a moment like this. Seeing me sobbing a little, mom caressed my hair, assuring me from her love and wiped the tears from my face. While dad sat beside me, holding my hands, continuously asking me what had happened. It had been some time since I felt love and it felt so heavenly. So good. I felt so lucky.
"Now tell us what happened?" Mom said in a worried tone.
"Both of you are going somewhere tomorrow. It is Sunday. No excuses. And no, I won't come." I said looking at both of them one by one.
"Okay fine," they said together, looking at each other. I wondered whether they looked at each other with the same passion and when they were.. young. "But you have to come," Mom said and dad nodded to agree.
"I don't want to be the moon between the sun and the earth." I said winking at mom.
"Oh come on, Jane," dad said, "we aren't shy in front of you." Mom nodded.
"No. No more argument," I was trying to be as dominant as I could be, "where will you go? Something romantic.."
"London?" Mom asked.
"Come on, mom. Dad probably remembers every street there by now."
"Norwich?" Dad asked.
"Perfect," I agreed, "I am sorry.."
"Hey, Why?" Mom asked and dad held my hands again.
"For everything..." I said, " You guys should rest now."
"Won't accept it until it's your fault and it never is," Mom said as she got up to leave. Dad got up too, running his hands through my hair and started to go. "I love you, honey," they said to me.
"Say it to me too, huh?"
"Haha?" mom intimated.
"I love you too," I said back.
And as they left, I was back to default. Thinking about Austin. I wondered whether I should be mad at him or thankful to him. And as I unlocked my phone, I realised my inbox was flooded with messages. Messages from Austin.
"Hey.. Wait.
WAIT.
Don't call your mom.
I was joking..
JANEEE?" His texts read after successive intervals.
"I think the damage is done," Another text sent five minutes later read.
"I am really sorry, Jane.
It was just a trick." Eight messages. Even though I wasn't really angry at him, but seeing him writing sorry had taken away whatever anger which was left within me. In the end, it had given some good moments to me and especially some time to rejoice for my parents. But no, I wasn't going to melt down. It was for the better that I don't allow him a place in my heart.
Everyone's heart is surrounded by a wall. Some walls are strong and some, not so much. Which was mine? The strongest.
'But... what should I say?' was going through my head. "You there? I am really sorry," He texted again.
"You landed me into so much trouble." It was totally the opposite though.
"Hey, what happened? I am so sorry," He texted again. He was making it harder for me.
"Nothing. It's okay," I texted back. I wished he thought I was being rude.
"That's so sweet of you to forgive me so easily." UGH. He was thinking absolutely the opposite of what I thought.
I didn't reply.
"Listen," he messaged, "we are going out tomorrow. Okay?"
No. NO. My mind was constantly repeating 'No.' It wasn't something I would even consider doing. Not at all.
"Not at all," I texted back, wondering how he'd react. Would he still persuade me? Whatever he did, I knew one thing that I wasn't going with him.
"So you forgot.."
"What?"
"The first wish," he messaged.
Well..
"Was there something like that?" It was hard to send that message, but I did. And, I felt so bad.
"Guess what?" His message read. I thought to myself that this was the end. Now, he was going to message - 'Fuck you' and it'd be over. It is a typical sentence in England- Guess what? Fuck you.
But... he didn't. "I am going to come in the morning tomorrow. At 7."
'Guess what? Fuck you' would have felt a lot better. How was he so good at keeping his temperament at a girl like me? With every passing second, it was getting harder. Harder and harder.
"No.. my parents are going out tomorrow morning."
"Even better then. Maybe we can go out with them."
Damn it.
"Please no?"
I waited but the double ticks didn't come. However, my habit was satisfied. I always tried to keep my message as the last one when a talk ended.
This time, for the first time, he was probably trying not to melt down. The next few hours were long, unusual, sleepless and I was slowly getting used to wondering about Austin. Amidst every thought that I had, one of them was striking for my attention again and again.
'Is Austin aware that I can't use my legs? If not, should I reveal that I am paraplegic? Maybe, he will change the way he behaves with me when he gets to know it. Maybe, just maybe, that would end it. And if that's how it ends, I wouldn't regret being the like pole. I wouldn't regret being rude.'
****
To be continued.
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