[Lamarr]
"Come on Ry, stop fuckin' moving so much."
"Maybe if you knew how to zip up a simple dress I wouldn't be so antsy." She gritted back as I struggled with the zipper of a black lace dress she found while wandering around in Macy's.
Tagging along with Riley when shopping for clothes had to be the worst mistake I've ever made. She took her time searching for every piece to a potential outfit and even longer when it came to matching accessories and shoes to it. She had a precise style, simple but enough flashiness to draw attention to her. Not too much attention and just the right kind. Riley never liked to be rushed, she needed time to think on whether she liked something enough to wear it more than once and time to mentally budget her account as well. I was warned several times on this arid summer day to just wait out this shopping spree at home underneath the luxury of my air conditioner but instead I opted out. Now here I was locked inside of a woman's fitting room trying not to snatch and rip the lace of this tight ass dress.
"Aight, one more time. If I don't get it then you just need to try on another dress. This one clearly ain't supposed to be for you." A heavy sigh fell from her lips and I already knew a courtesy eye roll came along side it. I was just as sick of being bothered with this piece of work as she was so there had to be an understanding on when we both gave up on it altogether. My fingers were gripping the zipper for dear life, easing it up higher and higher until it finally made it to the top and pulled the dress together into a finished masterpiece against Riley's body. It complimented her figure seamlessly, outlining the curves of her hips and giving her assets in the back the lift it barely needed.
Though very petite, Riley never complained about her lack of. She dressed every inch of her brown skinned body parts with clothing that fit her flawlessly and she wore each piece with confidence. That beside the scents she lavished in and the different ways she wore her hair embodied the love she had for herself and that was something myself and no one else couldn't help but respect. It was something that also, ironically, intensified the attraction I had to her making it harder in many ways since outing my feelings, to compose myself. I wanted nothing more in this moment but to rip this dress from her skin and test how well we could keep her moans concealed throughout the fitting room. The testosterone in me wanted to break the promise I made to take my time with Riley but I had to keep it. She deserved more than a quick fuck in a department store and one day I was gone give her that.
"How do I look?" She asked while taking a quick spin in front of the mirror. I stood behind eyeing her closely until she finally came to a complete stop and looked up for an answer.
"Absolutely stunning."
"And?"
"What you mean and? I have nothing smart to say so stop fishing for something. You look stunning and I mean that."
From the way her plump bottom lip was trapped between her teeth it was obvious Riley was trying her best to refrain from smiling but it wasn't doing much of a good job. She was soon grinning back at me while her cheeks bruised the longer I kept my eyes attached to her. As my hands always desired to do, they held onto her hips, squeezing them gently as our faces managed to meet each other for the union of our lips. The second they were wrapped in each other's warmth and sealed, that sweet taste, something almost indescribable and different from the other times our mouths were buried within each other lingered onto my tongue as it trailed its way into her mouth. I wanted to invade it and every bit of space between us. I wanted nothing but the typical intensity from any of the caresses and strokes of our lips and moments of wholly admiring each other to be felt. Our skin began to embed within the others the closer we got while my hands took on a mind of their own. The further the kiss grew hungrier and heated the more they slid up from the hem of the dress, scrunching the spandex lace material up to her waist. Like magic I was hoisting Riley up against the mirror behind as her legs instinctively spread wide allowing our most sensitive and aroused cores to graze each other. The moan she released in the depth of my mouth was enough to let me know she felt what she was doing to me. It didn't take much for her to get me riled up and though we'd probably just end up flustered in the tight space of this room once we parted, it was all worth it. The anticipation, my hard dick, the heavy breathing, all of it.
"Take it off." She mumbled as I slowly pulled away from her lips long enough for me to have the single coherent thought that I wanted her right here and right now. "Please."
"As much as I'm tempted to, we gotta wait." I barely breathed out. "Not here."
"Soon?" She questioned with a flutter of those bold innocent eyes. "Hm, Lamarr..."
"Lamarr!" I heard a voice nearly yell and it wasn't from the woman in my dream, it was instead Dr. Bradley. I needed to stop having these vivid ass dreams but it was becoming impossible since everything about his woman was the only thing on my mind. The task was even more difficult to handle in these boring therapy sessions that I was regretting participating in. At some point, from the first question prompted, to the long winded response Melanie gave, I stopped listening and instead my thoughts strayed off to some of the best moments in my life. Some I haven't even had with Melanie before. If she knew of them these sessions would have all the more purpose to them outside of the reasons we're here now.
"The question was what qualities about your significant other made you fall in love with them and Melanie volunteered to go first." I nodded as if I were paying any attention prior to now and sat up as Mel began her list.
"When Lamarr and I first met we were at least eighteen or nineteen years old and I didn't have much experience with guys. He sat beside me in our communications class and for the longest, we never shared a word until this group project came up. It was easier to just pair up with your neighbor than search for a partner and that's what we did. The first thing he said to me was how blind he must be to have overlooked my beauty after sitting beside me for almost two months." She let out a faint chuckle as her mind seemed to recall the time we first met. I too remembered it myself like it was yesterday.
"That was what got me, his charm. Lamarr was just a sweet guy and never once in the beginning of our relationship thought twice about taking me out, making time for me, calling me, anything. He just did it. He was so respectful and made me laugh. His humor was and still is so weird, so corny and no one gets it but him. It's the effort towards it that makes me laugh though, Lamarr tries so hard. All these things and even his flaws made me fall in love."
While I sat there attentive more than I've been this entire time, I realized Melanie was very much still in love with me. She could probably evoke memories between us that I, over time, started to replace with those between myself and another woman. What was even more frightening was I didn't regret doing it and she was in the dark about the reality our relationship was becoming.
"What about you Lamarr? What about Melanie first made you fall in love with her?" It should've been easy to answer as it was for Mel but I needed a minute to figure it out and word remotely close to how she did.
"Her laugh. She was one of the few people who actually laughed at my jokes. I was a goofy ass dude back then, so cliché and as said corny, but she accepted every part of me. She's selfless and I respect that, it was what I needed during that time. Back when I had nothing and aspired for so much. I was sure Mel always had me. She was the best support system and that made me love her harder." Dr. Bradley seemed satisfied with the slight nod she gave in return. I just wondered what she was writing down. What epiphanies would we have today?
"That was good guys. Now the question is, do you all still feel the same way? If not, what happened that made you have a change of heart?"
"I should let him go first this time." Melanie uttered with a flip of her hair over her shoulder.
"Okay we'll switch it up then. Lamarr?"
"I-I do feel the same, somewhat. I just think the passion isn't there anymore. It disappeared a while ago and now it's all about work, coming home and lying beside each other. Some nights with our backs to the other. At times is stems from an argument while others it comes from us being too comfortable. We're used to each other, we're used to routine, and we're used to the lack of."
"When you say passion and lack of what do you mean Lamarr?" I shrugged not knowing if I wanted to get myself started. It would strain shit more between Mel and I because she doesn't know how to take criticism and she sure as hell doesn't want to come to terms that our relationship has been falling weak for some time now.
"I don't feel that fire I used to when whenever we touched. This shit isn't intimate anymore. When we were young and in love, those moments where we were always affectionate kept us both on a high and I never wanted to come down. I just wanted to be physical in any way possible just to show her that I loved her. Even when it wasn't physical I still felt it, the love was evident." I paused shortly to try and gather myself. If I didn't we'd leave this meeting hating each other but it might have already been too late for that.
"I know we adults now and have careers that keep us from each other from time to time but that don't mean when we do see each other it has to feel like we're just strangers catching up. We're too content and sometimes I don't think it's possible to come out of that."
"Wow." Mel slurred out.
"What about you Melanie? Have things changed for you?"
"No. I still love him just as much and I know we've been through hell and back but I thought we would never waiver. I can't sit here and say I feel the same now. I mean my fiancé just practically told me we're too deep into our relationship which I figured was a good thing but for him it's not. How am I supposed to react to that?"
"What I suggest you all should do is try to have open dialogues with each other every day. Go out more, when you can go out on dates, whether it's to the movies, to dinner or a walk in the park. Just try to bring the spark back. Remind each other of what is was like when you all were at your best but it starts with communicating better. The things you shared today should have been known already. You two are in different places and it is never too late to revive your relationship but it's all about the effort you're willing to put in. Long lasting and happy relationships include individual effort. So that's my challenge for you all. I'm sending you out with those tasks at hand and I want to see progress at next meeting."
"Thank you Dr. Bradley." I overheard Mel whisper as we both got up to leave.
The day was just rolling over into the evening hours and we were officially at odds with each other. The way she snatched her purse from the arm of the couch and stormed out ahead of me made it obvious. All that did was make me question even more if we could come back from this. It was all her fault though, she wanted an open discussion on our relationship before reciting our vows and instead was getting hit with truth. That was the fact we might not be ready for marriage.
I wasn't gone let this shit slow me down though. I had the rest of the day to get some much needed recording done and that was my goal. I should instead be running after Mel for the sake of her knowing I was concerned but part of me didn't even care too. My mind wasn't in and hadn't been in the place to do so. All I was focused on as of now was my work and unfortunately not this relationship. I couldn't allow anything to distract me as I had for the past few months and stop this streak I've been on for the last couple of weeks and that's exactly what pondering on this session would do. I was slowly becoming the old me on the music side and once this album was done, just maybe I could work on how to properly love my fiancé. My priorities were all out of order but I'd adjust them when the time was right.
Once I left out of the office, it took a bathroom break and a quick phone call with Ib to finally wrap my head around something less thought consuming and just leave this place altogether. That was until my eyes were caught by a figure I knew all too well. It was Ry and for a second I thought I was losing my mind since she had been on it for days now. Nonetheless though it was her in the flesh. For the second time in a row she was in this office and I was wondering why? I wasn't quite believing this 'supportive friend' shit she fed me the first time and especially not when Omen mentioned her being 'fragile'. No one just casually says some shit like that and because I still cared about her I was devising all these possibilities of what was really going on with her. Either I'd find out on my own or wait for her to tell me, that's if we even got close enough for her to.
—–
"You busy man?" A deep voice only a bit lighter than mine questioned from the door of the studio as I sat at the soundboard stumped. I didn't need to look up for me to know it was Omen but I did anyways because I was shocked to see him here.
"Nah man, come in."
"This new project you're working on, tell me about it." He said before sitting down in the seat next to me.
"Well what can I say? This one is personal for me man. I want it to be my story, from my old childhood home to now. I'm putting tracks on here that will give blunt and deep examinations of my life and what I went through to what I'm currently going through. I want people who listen to find themselves in these chronicles. The production has to be just as strong as the lyrics though and I know you cook up some mean shit on the piano and board sometimes. So, if you down, we can work on some production." O sat back into the seat he occupied before biting his lip in what seemed like hesitation.
"Alright, we can do that." I let out a light breath being relieved he agreed with the idea. I wasn't too sure what he would say the way shit was between all of us now but it was good to know there was a chance to repair whatever was wrong.
"Thank you man. How is everything going with Elephant Eyes though? We want to hear it too nigga. You're hiding it from us." We both shared a laugh, something so simple but was oddly distant behavior amongst us.
"It's slowly becoming an album. Riley has been helping me with it, she's got some nice producers coming in to work with me and that itself pushes me to write more. Maybe one day I'll bring over what I have so far for you to hear."
"That would be nice. I'm sure you got some heat saved up." I was mentally daring myself to speak up and quiz him on Riley, seeing as though she was becoming the subject of this discussion. Yet I didn't want to seem like I prying, though that was my intention. I hated being out of the loop when once upon of time I knew everything I needed to know about her.
"Riley... is she good?"
"What do you mean by good Lamarr?"
"I saw her again at the therapist office I go to with Mel. People don't just visit there for the hell of it man, so there has to be something going on with her. Don't forget you yourself told me she was fragile. What the fuck does that mean?"
"It means she's a sensitive person and doesn't need to backspace into the past just for you. You just said you were in a therapist office with Melanie right? Remember that then. You're engaged nigga and your fiancé is the only woman you should be concerned about. " His tone became forceful the more he threw subtle jabs at me. I wasn't mad about it because he was protecting someone who was essentially his baby sister and it was something he always did.
"Look, I know that. I'm jus-"
"Worried? I peeped. It's not my place to tell all her business so I'm not but what I can say is that she's good."
"Aight, if you say so."
I wasn't going to argue with the nigga. Omen wasn't going to give me more than he had just shared and I wasn't going to force him to. I would just have to work on building this friendship with her and hope she would feel complacent enough to open up to that extent with me again. This 'time' shit Ry and I agreed to was killing me and it hadn't even been a good week but I swear for her I would try it. I just had to find what little patience there was left within me and utilize it.
-------------------
[Riley]
"How's everything been going for you Ms. Coleman?" Was the first thing Dr. Washington said to me. I assumed this was his form of a greeting instead of a typical hello since he never said it when I came to my scheduled meetings. He, however, tossed out with ease the most simple starters that somehow trailed to a deep conversation that later helped me learn something new about myself. I had grown familiar to his assertiveness, so familiar that with every meeting I was answering them all with a comfort.
"As of lately, I can't complain. I've been using your advice and I'm feeling positive about some of the small growth and changes in some of my relationships. I might have even made a new friend." I replied back with a smile. This room was becoming a sanctuary for me. The more I visited the more I felt safe enough to coolly disclose some of my darkest secrets. At some point in our conversations, things would get so penetrating to the point I was admitting to stuff I never did to anyone. I knew eventually even tougher matters would be poked at yet surprisingly I was ready for them all.
"That's great to hear. It's exceptional that you're seeing some progress, things can only get better from here. I can see it in your face too, you're smiling and it's a genuine one. However, I wanted to take a turn in our conversation today. I know when you first started coming to me you mentioned how 2011 and 2012 were some of your toughest years. We discussed the loss of a friendship and another loss dear to you. Do you mind if we begin to focus on that?"
Actually, part of me did mind.
For quite some time I had done a remarkable job at eluding the death of my father and even more than I did with Lamarr's existence. I escaped that reality so well that I had moments I swore he was still gracing this Earth. I was so deep in denial about him being gone and it was simply because I didn't know how to handle that kind of loss and I never learned how to either. I avoided discussing what happened at all costs because it was easier but now I was learning that in order for me to try move pass that low in my life I had to speak on it. I had to face the truth that the man who I first fell in love with and will always be in love with was gone.
"You mean my dad?"
"Yes but only if you're ready to." Before opening my mouth again I had to take a deep breath and calm myself. Regardless the waterworks were bound to come but not yet. I had to get my first few sentences out without my emotions getting the best of me. With a swift tuck of my hair behind my ear I was preparing myself for a possible breakthrough.
"My dad was a pastor and every year the church was open on the eve of New Year's for members to come and celebrate. It was just a small service to bring in the New Year. Well this particular year, 2011 to be exact the service was apparently over and my mom left with a few other members to head home. He stayed behind as usual and checked the church to make sure no one was left behind then he locked up. I guess on his way out to his car some guys...some guys noticed he was alone and they tried to rob him."
For some odd reason the image was being painted, word for word in my head as if I was there that night witnessing it all. I was imagining the sharp suit my dad probably wore, his grey Calvin Klein one with his favorite burgundy bow tie. I'm sure his vintage gold watch was dangling from his wrist and he had a fresh cut specifically sculpted for 2012. My dad was clean nevertheless and his car complimented his attire too, that damn Cadillac. I can't help but wonder that maybe if he didn't have any of these luxury items he wouldn't have been a target.
"This happened right after you and your best friend stopped communicating?"
"About four months later. I was forcing myself to get over that mess by quitting my job and starting on my writing career. Something that I loved and knew would take my mind off the hurt I was experiencing. I wholeheartedly was starting to believe I was doing just fine because for a split second things were working out for me, you know? Then bam! Some assholes stab my father to death and I'm back at square one. My dad, a God fearing man who loved so hard, he was taken away from me and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. One loss after another and I coped by ignoring it all. What person in their right mind does that?" I asked rhetorically with a chuckle as a few tears snuck down my cheek.
"I went into hiding for a while after that. I locked myself in my apartment and my friends literally had to stay by my side every single day. They thought I'd kill myself if they didn't. I had moments where I wanted to, I planned on letting alcohol take me out but I didn't. I knew there was more for me to do on Earth before I departed and it hadn't been done yet. So one day, after praying and talking to my mom I met up with a colleague of mine and we got back to work. The incoming fame after that put me out my misery even more. Now here I am."
Dr. Washington took down a few notes in his Moleskine notebook before removing his glasses from his face. As I wiped the moist of my tears from my cheeks he leaned forward and handed me a box of Kleenex, giving me a minute to compose myself.
"I'm glad you're here though Ms. Coleman. I'm here to help you grow out of those bad memories and let go. Holding on does nothing but burden the soul and you sitting here crying is a step to lifting that weight. How are you feeling now?"
"Relieved." I uttered with a weak smile. "I never talk about my dad. It hurts too much."
"But you know something, it's okay to hurt just as long as you keep in mind that it's only temporary and should not consume you forever."
That was something else I had to remind myself in this new process of what seemed like a repetition of getting to know and finding Riley. It would come in handy to know that I'll always experience hurt and pain but it would never last forever. The pain is only temporary. I was living in mine for years but today would be a step closer to releasing it all.
"Now you mentioned your mother. When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"Oh wow, maybe two weeks ago. I get so caught up in my work and personal problems that I forget to see how she is doing.
"Coming from a person who has lost a parent as well, you should call her today. Let her know how you're doing, tell her about your progression and most of all make sure she's just as good, if not better than you are. Cherish her Ms. Coleman." Dr. Washington advised sounding like my dad when he used to tell me about myself in the most tasteful manner possible.
It was elusive things as that that made me miss my dad even more. No one understood how much I dreamed of seeing his face and hearing his voice again, no one did.
-----—-
"No mama, I'm not drinking like I used to...I promise." I quickly lied through the phone as my mom pestered me about my tendency to abuse alcohol. It wasn't a complete fib, I was still drinking but not with the intentions to black out. I recently only indulged in a glass of some kind of liquor when I was out having lunch or dinner. It was enough to give me a buzz and I was set after that. I couldn't blame her for worrying though, she was one of the people outside of Donny, Leslie and even Damon who witnessed me slouch over in agony while my liver absorbed too many white liquids than it could bear.
"If you don't believe me I'll come see you or you can come here. It's your choice....well then I'll come home for you. I'm not sure when but I will, I promise that too. Okay mama, I'll call you this weekend again to check on you. I love you too...bye." Hanging up right after an almost hour long phone call didn't save what little battery I had. The moment I pressed 'end call' the percent diminished by two and a warning was illuminating my screen. It didn't matter anyways, no one important would be calling and I was almost home.
Once I arrived, I plugged up my phone and kicked off my shoes. I was ready to melt into the cushions of my bed, but with all this talk of my dad something compelled me to find an old notebook I kept hidden for so long now. I had some dark poetry and songs written in it aside drawings of the horrors I saw in my dreams during that period of my life. I even wrote letters to Lamarr of how I felt and how much he hurt me, hell I even wrote a letter to his girlfriend at the time. Over all of those things, somewhere in those pages my dad's obituary laid folded in half. The wrinkles were pure evidence that I had visited the booklet hundreds of times since they day I got a hold of it. It was all, aside from photos, I had to remind me of him, at least convenient things.
"Alonzo Coleman," I mumbled while tracing my index finger over the Verdana font. "Family man but most of all a man of God."
Even in my efforts to hold them back for the second time today, a teardrop made its way from my eye and down my cheek. This time it was stemming from some sort of satisfaction. That was from knowing that I was finally accepting the realism that he was deceased, but also from knowing he was in a better place. Just staring at the images of his face on the cover made me feel like I was bonding for that last time I fantasized about so many times.
"I love you papa." I love you too baby girl.
With a smile, I put the obituary back into my notebook and placed in down into the bottom of the drawer it came from. On key, with the closing of the drawer a knock was heard from my front door. I swiftly dabbed the few wet spots on my face with a tissue from my nightstand and got up to answer it. Without a glance through the peephole, I swung open my door only to be greeted by my dear neighbor.
"Hey, I was jus-" He stopped then jumped back in a bit of shock. "Are you okay? Did I come at a bad time?"
"No, no," I reassured him. "I'm fine, they're tears of joy, I promise." Tate nodded then slowly proceeded into my living room as I held the door open.
"Mind me asking what's wrong?"
"I just had a moment. I went to see my doctor, my therapist today and we talked about my dad. He died a few years ago and I haven't been right since."
"Oh," He muttered before sitting down on the couch. "But you said tears of joy."
"Yeah, I never brought it up until today. It's just good for me in terms of getting better. Lord," I shook my head then sat down on the arm of the couch, covering my face in some embarrassment. "You probably think I'm crazy now."
"Why would I think that? That's a tough pill to swallow for anyone and it can change anyone too. I would never think you're crazy for being a normal human being and hurting over a loss like that. I think you're sane because you're allowing yourself to feel." Tate said with a smile.
"There's more to it, the additional information might make you think otherwise."
"You think so?"
"Mhm."
"Lay it on me then."
This man was something else.
"To say the least, I had a bad falling out with someone who meant a lot to me. I was falling for my best friend, that's one of the most cliche sob stories known to mankind. Then I quit my job calling myself going out on a whim to accomplish my dream of songwriting. Everything was good then my father is killed and I'm depressed. Drinking out the ass, just ready to die. To deal with it all I got back to writing and became extremely successful off of it but I was still very much depressed and bitchy and a headache to be around. I wasn't realizing I was using my fame to survive and keep myself afloat. Fame is just another drug though so in my efforts to not self-destruct I was. Hell, I was basically a drug addict too." I confessed causing us both to laugh.
"I've heard worse stories Ms. Riley."
"Is that so?" he nodded before getting up from his spot on the couch and walking over into the kitchen. I had no clue what he had up his sleeve but I could bet it would be something amazing.
"What are you doing?" I inquired, getting up some seconds later to follow behind him.
"From what I've heard just a few minutes ago, you're long overdue for a nice dinner and a warm bubble bath. I'm going to find what I can in this kitchen, cook something up and you're going to run you some water in that tub of yours, assuming your bathroom is like mine, and relax until I finish. I'll come and get you when the food is done."
I stood against the kitchen counter with my mouth gaping open. Who sent this perfect specimen to me? What did I do to deserve this? I could only imagine what he was like with a woman he was actually dating. Tate was that kind of man who treated his significant other like a queen and now I wanted a damn crown.
"Go!" He instructed in a stern yet gentle tone. "Or I'll start the water and put you in it myself."
"I might like that." I countered back slyly. "I'm going though, I'm going."
As he continued to take out different edible items he found hidden throughout my cabinets and pantry, I walked back to my bathroom and ran a tub of water squeezing enough soap in it to add the right amount of bubbles. Once the temperature was right my clothes were falling from my body and I was drowning it in the depths of my bathtub. Nothing felt more right than the heat of the water soothing aches I never knew existed. It was ceasing any heavy thoughts, the headache that was forming from crying and it was what I needed. Can't believe it took Tate for me to realize it but I was glad he did and especially at this moment.
The amount of time I spent laid back, resting my body was unknown. If it weren't for the heavenly smells from the dinner being whipped together a few rooms down, the anonymous time would have been longer. My stomach was now growling from the eagerness of what I was going to eat after I lotioned my body and got dressed. Even though Tate hadn't come to get me I still came out for air and to see what he had created.
"You came out just when I was about to come and get you. I finished dinner a few minutes ago, well my famous Italian chicken skillet to be precise."
"That sounds delicious. Explain it to me." I demanded before walking back into the living room to sit on the couch. There he had two glasses and a bottle of white wine settling on the table or should I say coasters.
"It's a mix of pasta, chicken, diced tomatoes, mozzarella, a dash of chopped spinach, a little extra seasoning and a side of garlic bread. I made it how my mom used to when I was a kid and all we could afford was white bread." He stated while walking into the room with our plates in each hand.
"I think I'll love it and my stomach will even more. Let's just eat!" He grinned as a sign of agreement then handed me a plate, watching closely as I silently said grace and blew on the steaming pasta. As it cooled off, I glanced up catching his eyes and took a bite. This man was talented. Everything I've tasted that were made by his hands have yet failed me. What could he do wrong?
"This is awesome. I really hope you get your restaurant worked out, you deserve it from what I've witnessed."
"I do too. I don't know what I'll do if it falls through." He admitted, taking a bite from the food on his own plate.
"You'll keep trying, that's what you'll do."
"Is that right?" He probed with a smirk and raise of his eyebrow.
"Yep it is or I can make you my personal chef on a serious note and trust me, you don't want that."
"Then I'll keep trying then."
"That's what I thought." I retorted back making him chuckle.
That was far from the only conversation we had while eating but eventually after feasting and drinking, the overwhelming feeling known as the itis began to take over. It had us laid out against the couch watching whatever movies that were being aired at the time. Soon after I could hear Tate's light snores tickling my ears while my head laid against his chest. That only lulled me into a sleep that was cut short from the vibrations of a phone. I was hoping if it was mine, whoever was calling didn't need anything. That way I would still be out of it enough to fall right back into my sleep. Once I found the spot the vibrations were coming from I realized it was indeed my phone and Lamarr was the caller.
He never listens, ever.
"What Lamarr?" I whispered trying my best not to wake up Tate as his sleep deepened by each second.
"I know you said to give you time but I'm at a studio in SoHo. It's not too far from you and I just want to see you."
"Lamarr..."
"Please Ry, just for a minute." I sighed then took a glimpse over at Tate. Lamarr could stop by but he'd have to greet me at the door. If I'm lucky he wouldn't mind since he claimed he only wanted a few seconds of my time and that way Tate would remain sleep.
"Okay, fine but only a few minutes."
"That's all I need. I'll be there in a few." The call ended and suddenly I found myself rushing to the mirror near the door to check how I looked. My hair was still holding their wild curls and my attire was a simple t-shirt and yoga pants. This was good enough for Tate so it would have to do for Lamarr too. Not these eyebrows though. I licked my thumb and smoothed out the strayed hairs that needed to be threaded sometime this week. They were becoming too tacky for my likings. After smoothing out my brows and shirt for what seemed like fifth time in a row, I tiptoed to the door still managing to let Tate rest then stepped outside.
Lamarr said a few minutes and he wasn't lying. The ding of the elevator sounded off some seconds later and the doors opened to reveal his lanky stature. I never knew it was possible for someone to look so good in grey shorts and a green t-shirt. Now that I think about it good might not have been the proper word to use, more like fine.
"Hey." he said almost inaudibly as he walked a bit closer to me.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry for breaking your rules already but I was thinking about you, shit I thought I saw you today too. So it's been on my mind to see your face up close compared to an Instagram picture."
"You stalk my Instagram?" I grilled him in a teasing tone.
"N-nah, you know what I mean. You look beautiful by the way."
"You think I look beautiful all the time. Which am I supposed to believe?"
"Every time I tell you because it's nothing but the truth."
Lamarr had left some space between the two of us, enough for me to rightly function yet I could already feel my heartbeat speeding up. I was so used to this feeling in the past up until I forced myself to mask it and now it was reemerging itself without my permission and that frightened me. I couldn't turn off my feelings for this man even when they should have been off. It was a sick feeling and joke sometimes, especially at a time in my life as now.
"Can I come in?"
"Huh? Oh. No!" I shot back quickly. He scrunched his face up not being prepared for that kind of reaction. "A friend of mine is sleeping, I don't want to wake them up."
"Oh. Oooh, a friend." he restated with a nod. I kept my eyes locked to his face to try and read his expression. It literally morphed from confusion, to solemn and then into a smirk. "You got a nigga in there, huh?"
"Now see, your time is up."
"Nah, that's why you hesitated for me to come over here in the first place. Am I interrupting a date?"
"No...maybe. Lamarr, you asked to see me and you're seeing me. You never said where."
"Right. I'll let you go back to your date because I'm no cock blocker." he claimed smartly.
"Sure you aren't."
"I'm not. If I were I'd knock on your door hard as shit to wake the nigga up, now that's blocking. What's his name? Johnny or something?" I shook my head trying not to laugh as Lamarr kept his smug smirk plastered across his face.
"None of your business, that's what it is." I placed my hands on his shoulder blades to push him toward the elevator once he turned around to leave.
"It's cool, I'll let you and Jimmy get back to your late night date."
"That's not his name, Lamarr." He pressed the button for the elevator as I stood back, crossing my arms over my chest. "You're something else you know that?"
"I can say the same about you. My ride out is here now, guess I'll be seeing you later." he stated while walking onto the elevator only to lean back against the wall inside of it.
"Mhm, I really dislike you Lamarr Cole."
"I really dislike you too Riley Coleman." With a wink of his eye, the doors were closing and I was left trying my hardest yet again not to smile from ear to ear but that's all I could do.