Anxiously, I held my breath as I waited for Geralt to react. But he only stared at me, as if he was waiting for me to burst out laughing and yell 'just kidding', but I was dead serious. After a moment, he sighed, letting his hand drop from my cheek to my waist.
"Nienna," he said, knitting his brows together, a woeful expression on his face, "see reason. We...no – I can't. And before you start: yes, your father was a witcher, but that doesn't mean all witchers are able to have children. You are the only child of a witcher on the whole Continent. Don't you think that in all these years we've been together, all these times we've slept together, if I could have children, that you wouldn't have been pregnant at least once? That if I could, we'd already have a child?"
"How can we know I hadn't been pregnant at least once, when I took hits to the stomach almost constantly?" I muttered. "My bleeding was irregular, it always has been, so if it was delayed, I wouldn't have noticed. I-I know we can do this, we only have to want it."
I was desperate. How could he not see that there had to be a possibility for us to have a child, since, hell, my father was a witcher!
"Love, we would have noticed." Geralt was trying his best to stay calm, I could feel it. "But the possibility for us to have a child aside, do you really think our life is suited for one? Witchers are sterile for a reason."
"But if it's always the same procedure, how am I even here? How could my mother have me?"
"I don't know. But I went through it all more than once. I was the only one to survive. Maybe there is a possibility for witchers who underwent the treatment once, but I didn't. And I don't want to hurt you, my love. Fuck! I would die before intentionally hurting you, I want you to know that, but I cannot have children. I'm sorry"
He had sat up by now, leaning against the headboard and staring down at me, and his voice had become louder, but he was still sincere.
I sat up as well, kneeling to be on eyelevel with him and cupped his cheek.
"It isn't your fault, minne. And we can still try," I whispered, not trusting my voice to be any louder. I had a lump in my throat and silent tears were spilling from my eyes. "I-I didn't want us to rush into anything... I just wanted to let you know."
A sad smile appeared on Geralt's face and he reached out to pull me onto his lap sideways. I let my head fall against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me.
"I know, my love," he sighed. "But let's face it: our life is not fit for a child. It is way too dangerous and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to our child only because we were foolish enough to have one in the first place."
He was probably right. But we had a home now, we weren't living on the road anymore.
"I am a healer," I mumbled out, not even understanding why I said it myself.
"What?"
"I told them I was a healer. They need me here. I can't leave, not for long," I muttered, staring into distance, focus long gone.
My husband hummed. "Yeah, I'd like it a lot better if I knew you were somewhere safe."
"I'm safe wherever you are, Geralt, and so would be our child." I cupped his cheek and turned his head to face me. "I know that if we had a child, you'd do absolutely everything to protect them."
He shook his head slightly. "I wouldn't be a good father," he sighed sadly.
"you're right. You wouldn't." I giggled a little at Geralt's offended face. "You'd be an amazing father. And do you know how I know?"
"Hm?"
"Because you're the best husband." I pulled down, our lips touching softly in a kiss full of love.
Geralt pulled back way too soon. "Hmm, you're just the best wife. What did I do to deserve you," he hummed.
"You... chose not to kill me," I shrugged, giggling. "But seriously, we can try. If it doesn't work, fine. If it does work, even better. I love you, no matter what. And I know that if it works, if we're able to have a child, you'll be the best father there is."
"You really think that?" It broke my heart to see him so unconvinced. Hell, he was the best fucking man there is, how could he doubt himself? Why couldn't he see what I see?
"I don't only think that, I know it."
He captured my lips in an all-consuming kiss.
"Then I don't see anything wrong with trying," he muttered against my lips once he pulled back, "if it means I get to worship my amazing wife even more often than usual."
"I love you so much, you don't even know," I mumbled, crashing my lips on his.
"No, I know, because I love you more," Geralt muttered into the kiss. He scooted down in bed, making us lay down again, but he didn't let me go. He held me tightly where I was lying on his chest, and I snuggled into him.
I was sure we'd find a way. We'd start a family. I just knew it.
With a smile on my face, I fell asleep on top of my husband, whom I loved more than anything.
The next weeks were pretty un-specular. We settled in pretty quickly to domestic life. Geralt helped me wherever he could. He absolutely loved taking care for the animals. I loved watching him when I did the laundry. There was not a shadow of a doubt on my mind that there was even a chance he'd be a bad father.