Damon
My emotions were never supposed to over shadow me to the extend of jeopardizing the plans I've made. I'm completely powerless at this point.
I don't know what to do anymore, I've brainstormed on ideas and I don't even know how to carry them out. I don't know the one that would make her happy or the one that would make her angry at me adding to the hate she already has towards me. The last thing I want now is to get on My wi... Avery's bad side.
I know I've made mistakes I'm all areas of my life but the height of it all was breaking my wife's heart. The only person who stood by me in good and bad times, the only person who believed I would change even when I tortured her, who still prepared my meals even when I hit her, who still waited for me when I come back late from work, who always kept water and anvils on my bed side anytime I'm hungover. I don't know how she knew but she was always there in all areas of my life and I let her slip through my fingers.
I'm such an idiot. Who's wife does that for them these days? But I had a wife who did all that for me and all I did was use her as an anger take out machine.
I know I've been a cruel and brutal husband who had shown no mercy to his pleading wife. The memories of her crying face pleading for mercy haunted me even till this very day.
I don't even know if I still have a chance with my wife. I don't know if she'd let me erase those awful memories and replace them with new and happy ones.
I sighed deeply blinking back the tears that were threatening to slip down my cheeks.
I'm currently staying at my parents place until when their anniversary party is over. Because if anything makes me leave here, I won't return until I've gotten the love of my life back in my arms, where she belongs.
This therapy I came back from weeks ago really opened my eyes to what I've done as a result of anger. It was like every moment, I was thinking about myself. Just myself and it cost me my marriage. But that's not how marriage works. It involves the husband and wife bit I thought about only me. I realised I didn't even give her the chance to explain herself before my unbearable torture.
I don't blame her, at all because even I am disgusted with myself.
"Hey son" I turned to look at my mum who's sitting beside me.
"Hey mum, didn't hear you come in" I said smiling slightly at her.
Oh I know young man. I've been sitting here for over three minutes, I even knocked before entering when I got no answer " she said worriedly
"Sorry mom. I was... Just thinking " I said in a small voice.
There was painful silence for a minute or so either of us not knowing how to break the silence because the truth was just at the tip of our tongue really to surface.
"Its her isn't it? " she asked lowly I didn't bother to reply cause its the plain truth.
"I miss her mum. I miss her so much but she doesn't even want to see me" I say my voice cracking at the end of my sentence.
"I love her so much. I'd do anything and everything to prove it to her not... She doesn't want to see me Mum, she doesn't. She hates me " I cried hugging my mom tightly as she too was also crying.
"I-I don't know what to say because I'm also guilty. She has told me she has forgiven me but I can't help but disbelieve. How can someone forgive a person who has done so much harm to her? She's such an angel and I regret deeply till this day of my actions towards her when she was innocent all those times." mum cried on my chest. I just cradled her patting her hair to calm her down as I was unable to speak.
"She's an angel mum. A true angel " I muttered.
"I would have treated her like the queen she really was . I should have given attention to my newly wed wife but all I did was bury myself in the office. We only consummated our marriage twice. I can't believe this " I stood up baffled.
I walked to my window still shocked at my revelation.
I now realized... I was the one who placed my job over her, I was the one who broke our vow, I was the one who cheated on her, I was the one who tortured and abused her, I was the one placed everything above MY WIFE. The one who was there for me.
Oh God.
I cried in anguish and regret, I'm guilt and shame. I cried until my head became whoozy. The last thing I heard was my name being called before I felt myself falling with a thud then passed out.
..........................
The minute I opened my eyes, I was greeted with a massive headache that was pounding all over my head.
I looked down and... I'm lying on my bed. But I fainted right in the floor I thought. The minute I rolled over to come down from my bed a severe pain shot through my hand and that's when I discovered there was a drip connected to it and the stupid monitor started making weird annoying loud noises.
"What the fuck " I croaked out rubbing my temples to get rid of this headache.
My door burst open and my parents rushed in looking worriedly at me.
"What's wrong"
"Your awake"
"Please t-turn off that thing " I managed to say and dad turned it off.
"Are you okay son " dad asked
"Yeah. I am now, sorry for the bother "
"Nonsense, you are our responsibility even if you are fifty or hundred" mom said and we chuckled.
"Are you really okay, the doctor said you passed out as a result of stress, lack of proper feeding and too much thinking " mom asked worriedly her eyes watering.
I hate putting everyone I love I pain.
"I'm sorry mom I'll eat properly now. By the way I have you to prepare all delicious delicacies I love " I said trying to lessen the tense atmosphere and it worked as they smiled.
"Okay remain there young man while we bring something for you to eat" dad said as they left my room.
Emotional chapter eh?
What do you think? Should Avery give him a chance?