☆Arthur and his life were so excited to bring their child into the world. But one day changed them forever. One accident left them in shattered pieces.☆
-----
Arthur Fleck sat in the waiting room of the hospital, his foot anxiously tapping against the tile. He looked down at the blood that covered his hands and his shirt. His hands trembled at the sight of his wife's blood. He couldn't think about it. If he started thinking about it he's fall into another one of his episodes and he can't afford that right now. He needed to focus on the optimism of the situation. His wife and the baby were going to be okay. The doctor's were trusted enough to save lives, they would be fine.
Today was the day their first child was going to be born. Sure, they came a bit early but it was going to be a happy day. But then the worst thing could have happened. While Arthur was getting their things together, ______'s water broke. Now they were running out of time and needed to hurry. They called down a taxi to rush them to the hospital. Well, while they were on their way they got into an accident. A really bad accident. Arthur was the lucky on. The man had taken so much damage before that it seemed like the crash was nothing. However the same could not be said for the others. The drive was killed on impact while the other vehicle had passengers that needed immediate attention, ____ included.
Now Arthur sat not knowing if they were going to make it or not. Surly they had to though, right? There was no way God would ever allow something like this take his family away from him. Arthur closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't think about it. He had to push away the negative thoughts.
"Mr. Fleck." Arthur stood up instantly when he heard his name. He caught sight of the doctor and rushed over to him. The doctor gestured to Arthur to follow him, he did without question. The doctor led him down the hallway of the maternity wing. Arthur hoped to have wandered these halls with a smile on his face while going to check on the little one in the nursery. Now he walked down these halls wondering if he would ever hear his baby's cries. "Mr. Fleck, before I tell you anything, I need you to know that most of those who were involved in the accident were fatal. All but the driver, who was found to be highly intoxicated, in the other vehicle passed away shortly after arriving here."
"Jesus Christ.." Arthur ran a hand through his hair. From what he had heard there were three passengers in the other car and they were all killed in the accident. Not to mention their taxi driver was killed as well. That was four fatalities so far.
"I'm well aware of your neurological condition." The doctor stated, putting his hands in his lab coat pocket. "So I expect your reaction when I tell you that your wife needed immediate surgery once she was brought in..most of her injuries were internal.. and in her uterus.." The doctor found it difficult to carry on. It always pained him when trying to break the news. "I'm very sorry Mr. Fleck.. but in order to not lose both of them...we needed to remove her uterus entirely.. along with your stillborn daughter.."
"It was a girl.."
Arthur didn't even realize he had dropped to the floor until his back was against the wall. The doctor had rushed to his aid, trying to call his attention. Arthur didn't hear him however, just the buzzing ring in his ears. His vision was blurred, possibly the tears that clouded his sight. Arthur pulled his knees into his chest, covering his head with his hands as he let himself go.
The doctor flinched at Arthur's anguished laughter. His voice was filled with such sorrow and heart break. They received many questioning looks, the doctor dismissed them, leaving him alone with Arthur. Arthur's cries could only be described as nearly animalistic. The doctor took a hold of his shoulders, the only appropriate way to comfort him.
"Arthur, listen to me.." The doctor got personal with the broken man before him. He didn't know Arthur very well, but he was use to grieving reactions to these type of things. How he hated to be the bringer of bad news. "Arthur, your wife needs you right now. She'll be asking for you soon. She'll need you there when she finds out.."
Arthur nodded, trying to conceal his laughter with his arm. The doctor helped him to his feet, dusting him off slightly. Arthur felt the tears stain his cheeks. There was no use in wiping them away. Not when he had to look his wife in the face and tell her that they lost their only chance on starting a family. The doctor showed Arthur to _____'s room, opening the door for him.
"I'll let you two have a moment." He cracked the door open a bit before little Arthur in, grabbing Arthur's attention. "I don't want to alarm you but.." The doctor took a deep breath. "When these things happen... we go ahead and clean the infant and wrap them up..."
"You mean she's..." Arthur's gaze trailed towards the room. The doctor nodded.
"We let the parents say their goodbyes.."
The doctor left the door cracked, leaving Arthur to venture forth on his own. Arthur hesitantly walked in, quietly closing the door behind him. He glanced over to the bed, spotting his wife's sleeping figure. She was so pale. All the internal bleeding caused he to lose a lot of blood. Arthur's heart ached at the sight of her. How he wished he couldn't traded places with her in order for her to have been safe and deliver the baby. Arthur's eyes trailed to the side of the room, where an incubator sat. Arthur's mouth went dry when he spotted the still bundle inside.
There she was. His pride and joy.
Arthur walked ever so slowly towards the incubator, every step screaming at him to not go any closer. He didn't need to see her. Not like this. Arthur couldn't help himself. He wanted to see her. He had to. Nine months he had been dreaming of seeing her precious face. His palms became clammy and he felt his heart throbbing as he approached her. He took one glance at her.
Arthur coiled back in horror, leaning up against the counter to regain his balance. He thought he could pass out at any moment.
Why the fuck would they allow him to see her like that?
Grey skin.
Blue lips and lids.
Her skull looked to be shattered underneath the beanie that placed on her.
Arthur clenched his eyes shut. Her mutilated face never left his mind. He shouldn't have looked. He shouldn't have. Arthur sat by the incubator, his frame trembling. For a moment he believed his hair turned white at the sight of her.
His baby girl. His beautiful baby girl.
For a moment, Arthur thought he would fall into another one of his episodes and wake his wife. But he didn't. Arthur should have been laughing. For once he was hoping he was just so he knew he was feeling something. Yet he didn't. He felt completely numb. Like he felt nothing at all.
After what felt like an hour of sitting there silently, Arthur made it to his feet. He stood up and turned to the glass coffin that held his daughter.
His perfect baby girl.
Arthur opened the incubator and reached in, letting his hand brush against her cheek. She was cold to the touch. Arthur wrapped his arms around her, picking her up and holding her close to him. He stared down at her disfigured face.
She had such beautiful puffed, purple lips. Long eyelashes and pale cheeks that should have been rosy. Her adorable button nose, dried blood visible in her nostrils. From what Arthur could tell, she had thin brown curls on her head. She would of had his hair. He wondered if she would of had his eyes too. Arthur cooed at her, subtly bouncing on his heels as though he was comforting her.
His sweet baby girl. It should have been him that died in the crash so that she may live. He would give up his life in order to save hers in a heartbeat. If God asked him to trade places he would say yes before God could even finish. His daughter was his world and just like her, it was taken from him. Arthur leaned down and kissed her soft head.
"You're okay, sweetheart. Daddy's got you. Daddy's not gonna let anything happen to you." He whispered to her. "I love you so, so much. You've made your mother and I so happy.. you have no idea how much we waited for you.. Do you remember my voice? When I would lay my head on mommy's tummy and talk to you? You would always kick when I started singing. Either you liked it when I sang or you were telling me to shut up." Arthur thought for a moment that he was smiling down at his daughter. For a second, he thought she was smiling back. "Happy birthday, my sweet little angel."
"Honey?" Arthur paused when he heard the weak voice of his wife. Arthur looked at his wife. She was attempting to sit up, but the dull pain in her abdomen caused her to lay back down. Arthur walked back to the incubator and layed his daughter back down into it.
______ did not need to see her.
"How are you feeling?" Arthur asked while walking over to the hospital bed and sitting by _____. He held her hand, giving her a squeeze. _____ seemed a bit taken back. Arthur was usually a panicked mess. Right now he was rather calm after what just happened.
"It hurts a bit but I assume that's how I should feel after a C- Section." _____ stated, smiling up at her husband. "Have you seen them yet? Did the tell you if it's a boy or a girl? Are they okay?"
"She's asleep, _____." Arthur caressed his wife's cheek. "She was very tired.."
"It's a girl?" _____ forced herself to sit up a little, resting her back against the pillow. "We have a baby girl, Arthur. We always wanted a girl and..... Sweetie, why do you look at me like that..?"
Arthur didn't realize that he was staring at his wife with a forced smile on his face. He reached up and felt his cheeks. Fresh tears ran down his face, but his smile didn't falter. _____ felt uneasy. She hadn't seen Arthur like this ever. _____ reached up and wiped his tears away. Her eyes gazed behind him, noticing the incubator finally. She smiled.
"Is that her? Oh, Arthur please go get her, I wanna hold her."
"No." Arthur pulled away from his wife, his smile fading. He shook his head. "No, you don't need to see her."
"Arthur? What's wrong? I want to see her." _____ would stand if she needed to in order to get her daughter. She didn't care how much pain she was in, she wanted to hold her. Arthur held her down. "What is wrong with you?"
"_____ please..she's asleep.." The plea in his voice hinted that something was very wrong. _____ stopped resisting and stared at Arthur.
"I'm not going to wake her. I just want to hold our baby for the first time why are you.."
"_____.. she's... asleep.." Arthur's grip on his wife tightened for a bit before his hands fall into his lap. He seemed to be looking deep into his wife's eyes. _____ stared back, seeing the heartbreak behind his stare. "She was very tired..a-and she.. she..." Arthur's gaze fell to the floor.
"No.." _____ shook her head. "No. No..No!"
A wrenched scream escaped her lips as she fall back onto the bed. She screamed towards the ceiling, feeling as thought her heart was ripped out of her chest. She kept screaming protests, that her daughter had not submit to death. Arthur simply sat in silence, his wife's shrieks of pure horror sounding muffled, like she was underwater. Arthur turned his head to take a look at the stillborn. He felt empty without her in his arms. He swore he could hear her crying over there, aching for his embrace again.
Arthur looked back down at _____, who clinged onto her pillow and sobbed into the fabric. He reached out and scooped her into his arms, holding her close to him. She instantly held onto his jacket and cried out in deafening anguish for the loss of their child. Arthur rocked back and forth, letting his wife cry until she couldn't any longer. He rubbed her back, caressing her head, and petting her hair. There was nothing he could say that would help the situation.
Their sweet baby girl wasn't here with them.
------
_____ sat in silence, fearing that she might have broken her vocal cords. She was staring forward, her sight looking past the wall and into nothingness. Arthur held her hand. Her steady pulse reminded him that this was real. He wouldn't be waking up and he wouldn't blink and this all be a hallucination.
Arthur clenched his eyes shut for a moment. He could hear her crying. He could hear his baby girl crying for him. Arthur turned his head once more and gazed at the infant. No doubt rigamortis would soon be stepping in. Arthur stood up from the bed, his hand slipping away from his wife. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She watched him as he walked over to their daughter and picking her up once more. _____ closed her eyes for a moment. She pondered if she really wanted to see her. When she had finally calmed down Arthur explained their situation.
Her uterus was gone. They would no longer be able to have children. Their dreams of being parents. Gone.
This would be the only chance she had of seeing their baby.
"I want to see her.." She spoke up, her voice raspy like sandpaper. Arthur looked at her, a blank expression on his face. He didn't say anything but walked back to the bed and sat down. _____ held out her hands as Arthur handed their daughter to her. She was stiff to the touch and cool. _____ held her daughter close and stared down at her. Arthur expected his wife to break down at the sight of their mangled daughter. But it was like _____ didn't have a reaction at all. She simply stared down in admiration. "She's so beautiful.." She bluntly said. Arthur looked down at their baby, his eyes drained of tears. He nodded.
They were broken. They were numb.
"She has my curls, _____.." Arthur faintly smiled, his hand cradling her fractured skull. _____ noticed the dark hairs on her head and softly smirked. "She has your perfect little nose. So small and precious."
"I wonder if she would of had your eyes. She had your lashes for sure." _____ traced the curvature of the infant's nose, repeating the action as though soothing her. Arthur gave a small chuckle.
"I wondered the same thing.."
------
The funeral was short. Not many people showed up. Only a few being both some of Arthur and _____'s coworkers. They didn't have close family in Gotham. Arthur's boss told him that he didn't need to worry about coming in for a few weeks. The death of a child is always a hard one to get over. Besides, he needed to be there for _____. She would've been a stay at home mother. She wouldn't have the distractions of work to keep her from wallowing in her depression.
They watched as the small casket was lowered into the ground. They both wanted to crawl into the grave with their daughter and let themselves rot in the unmarked grave. They didn't even name her. Her tombstone was left without a name, just a simple statement.
Here Lies Our Sweet Little Girl
Neither of them shed a tear that day.
The apartment was quiet. The food in the refrigerator was left to rot. Neither of them felt like eating. They sometimes didn't even look at one another in fear they would see parts of the daughter staring back at them. The thought of divorce crossed their minds but the two of them would always push it down. Sooner or later they would need each other.
Most nights _____ would find Arthur laying on the floor of the nursery. He would be curled up by the crib, holding one of the stuffed animals he had gotten for their baby. Needless to say, Arthur was completely destroyed. _____ was too, but she could help but accept that Arthur was taking it worse than she did. Arthur hadn't had a fit since the day they lost her. That was weeks ago. _____ was convinced that Arthur would never be the same.
------
_____ awoke to the sound of someone crying. At first it was her maternal instincts telling her that her baby was needing her. She got up from the bed, looking back and finding that Arthur wasn't in bed with her. She figured he had gotten up to sleep in the nursery again. She exited the bedroom and made her way to the baby's room. The crying got louder as she approached. She peeked in and found what she had expected.
Arthur was leaning against the crib with the stuffed animal held close against his chest. However, something was much different. Arthur was crying.
Arthur didn't cry. He laughed. He always laughed, that's how he coped with his emotions. These were sobs of immense sadness. Not an ounce of laughter or even a chuckle escaped him. He cried like she did that day. He wasn't afraid to be heard. He wasn't afraid of holding. It was as if his body was finally reacting to the news of his daughter's death. After weeks of sitting in silence, he was screaming like he had never done so before.
Arthur felts the arms of his wife wrap around him as she pulled him into an embrace. They hadn't touched each other since that day. They didn't speak. They didn't look at one another. It was like two zombies walking around in the apartment.
"It Should Have Been Me!"
Arthur's voice was cracked from weeks of not saying anything. He kept repeating it over and over again.
"I Want To Die, ____! I Want To See Her!"
"Arthur please..."
"Let Me Die! Let Me Die With Her!"
"Arthur please stop.."
"I Should've Crawled Into Her Grave With Her! I Want To Go!"
"Well You Can't Go!" _____ screamed over her husband, jerking him towards her so he was forced to look at her. "You Can't Leave Me! You Can't! I Can't Lose You Too! You're All I Have Left Of Her!" _____ hit his chest with a weak force. Weeks of barely eating anything made her bones frail. She slammed her hands against Arthur's chest, crying out in protest to his wishes. _____ found her voice and cried. She joined her husband in grieving, finally able to let herself fall into her emotions. "I need you here Arthur. I need you more than ever.."
Arthur held her weak frame close. He held her tightly, scared to death that she would be taken from him if he even loosened his grip.
"I'm so sorry _____. I'm so sorry." He cried into the crook of her neck, rocking back and forth slightly.
The two sat on the nursery floor, wailing out cry after cry. They were locked in an embrace that they would stay in for a few hours. They would soon lay back and fall asleep on the floor of their daughter's room.
They at least finally found comfort in each other again.
------
"Arthur.. why are you dressed like that."
______ stood at the doorway of the nursery. It looked the same it did over a year ago.
Arthur stood by the crib, the same stuffed animal close to his heart. The stuffed toy was withered and torn. Arthur held it to his chest at least once a day in memory of his little girl. Arthur turned to face his wife, she stepped back in fear.
Arthur was dressed in a bright red suit with a tea dress shirt and a mango colored vest. His hair, now a deep green, was slicked back. And even thought Arthur was a full time clown, he had no reason to have on his makeup. His cyan blue triangles sculpted his eyes and scarlet red brows, nose and smile, making him look like he was always happy.
"It's her birthday, today.." Arthur's thumb felt the fabric of the stuffed toy. "She would've loved clown, don't you think?"
"I'm sure she would have absolutely adored them.." ______ walked to her husband's side. Arthur held his wife in one arm and his sweet baby girl's toy in the other. He petted his wife's head.
If she had not lost her uterus in the accident, perhaps they would have tried for another baby. They wanted a baby so badly, anything to numb the pain. But they knew that another child would never replace the one they lost.
"I'm going to go out for a bit. I have a few errands I need to run." Arthur pulled away from his wife and kissed her head. She gave him a confused look.
"In that?"
"What? You don't like it?" Arthur let himself strut around the room, a slight bounce to his step. _____ laughed at his hyper mood. Arthur walked back to her and kissed her, a little excited. "When I come back.. maybe you and I can make sweet, sweet love on the kitchen counter, "He kissed her neck. " in the shower, " He pinched her ass, earning him a surprised gasp. " on the balcony, " He kissed her again. " and maybe on the front door just so the neighbors can hear us."
"Arthur! What had gotten into you?" His wife gave him a sly smile. She wouldn't say that she didn't like this side of Arthur. It had been nearly two years since they made love. Perhaps this was something they needed. "With those types of promises you better hurry back then." She playfully smacked her husband's ass. Arthur chuckled, handing her the stuffed animal.
"Keep it safe me for me?"
" Of course, sweetheart. Now go before I fall out of the mood." She shooed him out of the room. Arthur chuckled to himself as he walked to the front door, his trusted gun in his waistband. He was now a man on a mission.
The drunk driver that ruined his life was still very much alive.