Hey guys... I have a problem right now... sorry I didn't update. I just can't think. To be honest, I actually don't intent on writing this here. But I had to... I need to get it off my chest... hoping that it'll make me feel better. So here's what happened right now...
My old readers would know that I once go to college in Singapore, LaSalle College of the Arts. There I met someone... his name is Sherman. He was the only good thing above all the stresses I had there. But my parents found out and made me choose between college and him. If I choose to keep the relationship I had with him... my parents would force me to withdraw.
He told me he would wait... but I told him not to due to my experience. The last guy I've ever have feelings for during high school turns out only giving me false hope. It took me 6 whole years to forget about him. I don't want that to happen to Sherman. So I asks our classmate (yeah.. Sherman and I were classmates). Okay... I asks one of our classmates to help me make him hate me so he will move on easily.
Since then... everything went downhill. Stress after stress keeps piling up inside my mind. Then I quit college because it's starting to have bad affects on me.
After I'm back in my hometown. I keep struggling. So I look up videos on YouTube that might helps.
And I watched one of this, to help me forget about the bad memories. But I don't know how or why... it affects me more than it should and all the good time and memories I've had with him disappear.
I keep dreaming of one specific guy. But I ignore that and just think of it as one of those longing feeling to have someone.
3 days ago... memories of him returns. That's when everything clicks. It was him... all those dreams were him.
Since the memories comes back... so is my feelings. Now I can't stop thinking about him. I love him so much... I don't know what to do... I can't cry, despite how painful it is to me right now... this makes my chest tightens painfully. That's how much I miss him. I'll do anything to have him back in my life... to explain to him what really happened... to start over again... but I don't know will that ever comes true...
I'm so lost right now... if you guys have solution... please share it... I really need it. Memories of him haven't fully returned yet... all I remember is what he looks like... how we end up together... how we to have to part ways...
He's a Chinese guy... I don't remember his name. His social media account probably in Chinese. But I can't remember his Chinese name. Only his English name which is Sherman.
Please... help me...