"Just say goodnight and go"
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The week went by slower than ever. She spent her days going to places where she wanted her and Tsukishima to go together. Of course, it never happened... and it would never happen.
She went to the ice cream parlor and sat inside, the smell of sweetness flooding her senses. The happy people making her heart ache, but also jump in joy. Everybody needed happiness in their life and Kohari was just a little bit jealous, since she believed her life was rather pathetic.
She knew it wasn't the worst life one could live, but if she had a choice, she wouldn't want to live the life she was currently living. It was filled with sadness... and the tiny fragments of joy she experienced in life would be gone in the blink of an eye.
The reason the male didn't want to go in, was because he wasn't a fan of sweet things. He'd always brush her off and tell her that if she wanted ice cream, she'd go in by herself. Kohari never understood what was wrong with him. His excuses for not wanting to teach her some volleyball, going places like a dog park, and the damn ice cream parlor... were so dumb. Miyagi didn't have much sightseeing or date places, so Kohari wanted to make the most out of what the prefecture offered.
And on impulse, she took a train to Tokyo the day before her departure to Sapporo. She didn't know why, as she would be spending the day in Tokyo as she waited for her overnight train from Tokyo to Sapporo arrive.
The female called Lev while she was on the train, telling him that she would be there in two hours. Of course, he was more than happy to skip practice and wait for her to arrive. It was no secret, that Lev was in love with Kohari.
Although everyone around them saw it, she didn't want to believe it—even if he confessed to her face. He was literally one of the only people to actually accept her as she was; it would ruin her if their friendship was run over by romantic feelings.
When she got off the train, she saw the gangly boy waiting for her a few feet away. His emerald irises lit up as he walked toward her, but his happy expression faded when he saw how worn-out the female looked.
She wore a pair of lose ripped jeans, a lavender tank top and a thin gray sweater draping over her thin frame. They spent the day together and after a couple hours, her cloudy mood was long gone, laughing away at Lev's stupid jokes and actions that got them into trouble multiple times.
And much to her dismay, the day was over. The sun set and her train was going to be there at any time. However, she would be back the day after, and they would spend the day one last time and she would be off.
She turned to face Lev, smiling at him so widely her eyes became crescents. Kohari was truly thankful for him, as he never failed to make her feel happy. The boy's cheeks and ears began sporting a deep red hue, due to never seeing her smile so widely.
She's... so cute. He thought, bringing a hand to cover the lower part of his face.
"Hopefully we'll see each other tomorrow. I think I'll be here at around two?" She said, her smile dropping a little bit as she placed a finger on her cheek.
Lev dropped his hand, looking at the girl with soft eyes and a small smile. It made something inside her stir and she looked away, drawing her attention to the few people gathered at the station.
"Your wallet must be feeling pretty sad." Lev laughed, after all, tickets for Tokyo to Miyagi and back didn't come by cheap.
Shaking her head playfully, she put two hands behind her back and shrugged. "Spending money is my therapy. Plus, I don't really want to think about anything right now." As she finished her sentence, her voice became smaller.
The silver-haired boy stepped toward her, knowing she wasn't fond of physical affection like hugs, he placed a hand on her head and ruffled her hair lightly. In response, she swatted his hand away, only to make the male chuckle.
"Text me when you get home, alright?" He whispered, seeing the train coming in from the distance.
The girl hummed. "Will do."
Stepping away, she waved him goodbye. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Count on it, Taira-chan."
It was now 9:07PM. Looking at her almost empty room under the dim lamp lights, she looked at her phone. Unlocking it, it brought to her and Lev's messages.
7:12PM
Haiba Lev:
Guess where I am?
hopefully at home
Nope, I got lost.
Jk
wow so funny
What happened to the soft, crinkly eye smile Tai-chan?
Seen
Oi! Don't RDR me!
Seen
9:08PM
i got lost.
On the way to my heart?
i-
IM KIDDING
You're home, right?
yessir
Fantastic. Go sleep now.
so bossy
so sassy
whatever
Seen
She giggled quietly, turning off her phone and placing it face-down on her bed. She fell back, sighing, remembering she hadn't confronted Tsukishima yet.
"Who cares." She whispered. "It's not like he'll give a fuck anyway."
Kohari didn't care about much at that moment, only basking in the small pit of happiness that erupted in her heart, thinking about the day she spent with Lev.
Lev.
Just the thinking of his name brought happy jitters crawling all over her body. Her eyes widened and she shot up.
It wasn't possible. It couldn't be—
Her askew thoughts were interrupted by soft tapping on her window. The female froze. Only one person ever did that... and it hadn't happened ever since they got together.
Her head turned to look at her window, a familiar face looking at her with a solemn expression. Just the sight of him made her heart churn and her stomach drop.
She stood up, gulping down the lump in her throat as she quietly opened her window.
"Hey." She heard him say, it was quiet and gruff, as if he didn't know why he was there.
"Hi." Kohari replied, refusing to look him in the eye.
The boy took a glance at her room. It wasn't like how he remembered it. It was emptier... a lot emptier, like she was moving away. At first he was shocked and hoped that she was just switching bedrooms, until he remembered—Sapporo.
She was going to Sapporo... and didn't know. Of course, it wasn't a big surprise, she had always been smart. But Sapporo... so far away.
"Why are you here?"
He bit the inside of his cheek, looking away from her sad lavender irises. "I—I came to apologize." He muttered.
"It's okay." He heard her say quietly as she sniffled. "I forgave you a long time ago..."
"I figured that much." He whispered, almost inaudible as he looked at the moon illuminating the dark night sky. It was now or never, his pride always got in the way and thanks to Yamaguchi and Sugawara waking him up, he realized that things couldn't be left as they were—no way.
"But listen to me... please."
Her eyes widened. Tsukishima almost never said please, like never ever. As much as she knew she shouldn't be listening—as she was afraid of her heart jumping back to the male—she did anyway.
"Okay."
"I know we haven't been... great." He began, his words were almost incoherent to her, as he was mumbling, but she vaguely made out the words as he spoke.
"I never meant for our relationship to end up like this... I—When I asked you out last year, it was because I actually liked you—like fuck." He muttered that last part, running his hand through his messy blond hair and it tugged at her heartstrings.
"I know I hurt you—fuck, Kohari! I know I fucked up, I know I changed, I know, I know—" Looking at him, a mess that fumbled with expressing his feelings. However, she knew him all too well.
"It's okay.. Kei." His given name didn't roll smoothly off her lips like it usually did. Instead, it sounded strangled and like she was in pain. "I understand how you feel, okay? It's okay."
He felt so pathetic. The worst he'd never felt. Why was love so difficult? So painful? But so desirable?
"No—no, Kohari, it's not. Stop acting like what I've done to you is okay..." He groaned out of annoyance with himself, squatting down on the floor.
"I'm telling you!" She whisper shouted, afraid of waking her sleeping family. "It's okay, Kei! It's okay!" Tears began spilling from her eyes and it only made the male feel worse.
"What you said to me hurt bad—hell, it still does! But because it's you—because you're the one I fell in love with, I can accept it. Although we can't continue this relationship, you've always been my person—even if our time together was more on the rocky side—even if you never loved me—I still love you."
The male stood up. His light brown orbs were cloudy and solemn, he pulled her into his chest—something he hadn't done ever since he began to change. Suddenly, he felt her body shake and hear small whimpers fall of her lips, his shirt becoming damp.
"Thank you, Kohari." He whispered, placing his chin atop her head. "For dealing with me... you can stop now."
He stepped away, his eyes meeting her tear-filled orbs. His heart wrenched, all her pain, all her sorrow, was all because of him.
"Do your best... in Sapporo." Tsukishima said, giving her once last glance.
"Goodnight."
And the sound of her muffled sobs only made him feel more ashamed; his slow trek back to his home allowing him to bask in his guilt and his sorrow.
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Her mind was filled with monsters—the monsters of her once-relationship with Tsukishima. All the good, all the bad.. something inside of her bubbled up; the feeling of being at ease... like she was finally being released.
And she began to wonder:
What would it feel like if someone gave her the love she gave to others? What if someone came along and didn't switch up? How would it feel?
.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.
Song:
goodnight n go — Ariana Grande
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