“Feel the world, let them know it’s Christmas time agai…”
“Luke?” I groaned.
“Good morning!” Luke shrieked, ripping open the curtain to my bunk, candy cane temporary tattoos stuck on his face, a santa had on his head and a stack of coupons in his hand.
“What are you doing?” Calum demanded from the bunk below me, “It’s four in the morning.”
“I know!” Luke cried, “Get up.”
“Is someone in danger of dying, dying or dead?” Michael muttered, “Because if not, get the fuck out of my face.”
“You guys.” Luke whined, “Today is the day!”
“The sun is shining, the tank is clean!” Destiny laughed tiredly.
“What?” Luke questioned, “No. We have to go.”
“Where?” I grumbled.
“Target.” Luke answered in a duh tone.
“I am not going to Target at four am.” Michael laughed, “And you ever try waking me up this early again I’ll bet your ass to death with my guitar.”
“You guys!” Luke whined come on, “It’s black Friday!”
An hour later I found myself standing in a seemingly never end of people in the freezing cold outside the most ghetto target I had ever seen. Wind whipped my exposed face making my eyes water and beneath my gloves my fingertips were frozen.
A permanent scowl on my face I tightened my grip on Destiny and buried my face in my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” she laughed.
“It’s cold.” I grumbled.
“Just think though.” Luke chattered, hugging Charlie to him tightly, “W-we’re only number fi-five hundred in line, we’ll get it for sure.”
“What do you even want to get?” Michael grumbled from where he sat curled up on the curb, wrapped in his comforter.
“A lot of stuff.” Luke sighed, “Something for my Mom, presents for you guys but the main thing I’ve got my eye on is our album.”
“Luke are you kidding?” Calum demanded, from where he stood huddled in between Grace and Piper, “You dragged us out here at the ass crack of dawn to get OUR OWN FREAKING ALBUM!”
“Yeah.” Luke said slowly.
“Dude I have like four copies.” I grumbled, “I would have just given you one.”
“But I want to buy it.”
“There are three hundred and sixty five days in a year Luke!” Michael shouted, “And you pick the busiest day of the year when a bunch of pushy Mom’s… no offense ladies….”
“None taken baby.”
“…..Are willing to kill to get what their little brats want for Christmas?!”
“But it’s on sale.” Luke mumbled.
“Luke it’s your album!” Michael yelled, “You can get it for free, just type in the coupon code, it’s me singing so give me the thing before I threw a rock star tantrum.”
“You tell em baby.”
“See.” Michael grumbled, “She agrees with me.”
“I’m cold.” Calum whined.
“Shut up.” Michael warned, “You can’t complain standing over there like pimp cash money hood, girls hanging on either arm. Feck this shit. Let’s start a band they said. You’ll get lots of chicks they said.”
“I think I know what we need.” Luke sighed.
“Do you?” Michael demanded, “Do you really?”
Luke nodded, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.”
“You better not.” Michael warned.
Taking a deep breath, Luke detangled himself from Charlie.
“Lucas.” Michael warned, “I will kill you with my bare hands.”
Ignoring him, Luke opened his mouth and shouted, “I’m SINGING! I’M OUTSIDE A STORE AND I’M SIIIINGING I’m COLD SO SO COLD BUT I’M SINGI….”
“LUKE!” Michael roared
“What?” Luke questioned innocently.
“Shut up.” Michael snapped.
Pouting, Luke looked down, however looked back up again at the sound of bell jingling, his eyes widening to the size of saucers at the sight of one of the fakest looking Santa’s I had ever seen. His beard little more than a piece of felt, taped to his chin.
“Oh my God!” Luke cried, “Santa!”
“Luke.” Calum hissed “shut u…”
“SANTA!” Luke shouted, “SANTA!”
Around us people laughed as the santa, slowly shuffled towards us.
“SANTA!” Luke squealed, jumping up and down, “Oh my God! Oh my God!”
“Uh, hi.” The guy said slowly.
“Oh my God!” Luke squealed, “Sit down, sit down!”
Frowning the poor guy sat as Luke pushed him down onto the curb before sitting down on his lap, probably breaking the dude’s legs.
“What are you doing?” the guy demanded.
“I’ve been a good boy this year.” Luke said quickly, “I bought Harry’s band aids song. It’s not the one that goes like, ‘I am stuck on band aide brand cause band aids stick on me’ it’s the one about Christmas and stuff. And I um… I donated to the puppies of Manchester foundation and the Australian bat recue foundation and the human society, but I don’t know why they call it that since it’s for animals, and the ASAP one.”
“Okay.” The guy said slowly.
“Do you want to know what I want for Christmas?” Luke questioned.
“You’re probably going to tell me anyway so let’s hear it.” The guy sighed.
“I want a new guitar.” Luke said excitedly, “A pretty one, like Mikey’s blue one.”
“Luke get off that poor guy’s lap.” Michael muttered.
“He’s Santa.” Luke whispered, “This is my chance to tell him what I want.”
Smiling, Luke adjusted himself on ‘Santa’s’ lap, however in the process, Santa’s beard, got caught on Luke’s zipper and to my horror and amusement ripped off.
Luke’s eyes widened, and he immediately rose to his feet leaving the greasy looking guy in a cheap Santa suit sat on the curb.
“Who the heck are you?” Luke demanded.
“I’m Santa.” The guy muttered, reattaching his beard.
“No you’re not!” Luke cried, as several kids from farther back in line ran up to see the santa, “You’re disgusting how can you live with yourself.”
Rolling his eyes the guy turned his head as a little boy climbed up on his lap.
“I won’t an iphone 6 plus for Christmas and an indestructible duracase please.” The boy said.
“Hey kid.” Luke whispered, “Don’t tell this guy what you want, he’s a phony.”
“Can you cool it?” Santa snapped.
“You sit on a thrown of lies.” Luke whispered.
“Look!” Santa warned, “I’m not kidding…”
“You’re a fake.” Luke hissed.
“I’m a fake?” Santa laughed, “How’d you like to be dead?”
Luke sniffed, “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese you don’t smell like Santa.”
Reaching out he then ripped of Santa’s beard once again. Causing the kids gathered around to scream.
“He’s an imposter!” Luke shouted, “Hide your kids, hide your wife! He’s going to come down your chimney Grinch style and slit your throats in your sl…”
Suddenly the guy rose to his feet and tackled Luke to the ground.
“Hey!” I shouted, prying them apart as Luke scrambled to his feet.
“What is going on out here?” a large man in a red Target vest demanded, running over to us.
“He is a fake!” Luke cried, his eyes filling with tears, pointing at the livid looking Santa.
“Save take five.” The guy muttered, “And as for you guys, back of the line.”
~At The Back Of The Line~
“I thought he was Santa.”
“Shut up Luke.”
“I mean I really thought he was the Mr. C.”
“Shut it Luke.”
“I feel like I’ve been living a lie.”
“Save it Luke.”
“This is why I have trust issues.”
“LUKE!”
“Yes?” Luke questioned.
“Shut up.” Michael breathed, “Just shut up.”
“Okay.” Luke whispered looking down.
And then it happened, the screaming began and everyone began surging forward at once.
“What’s happening?” Luke cried.
“I hate you so much.” Michael muttered, standing up and tightening his blanket around himself.
And then there were people running from their cars pushing us forward, sandwiching us in like sardines.
“I feel like the lion king!” Luke cried, “It’s a stampede!”
Rolling my eyes I grabbed his hand with one hand and Destiny’s with the other.
I had no idea what kind of madness was in store however until we were leaping over fallen shoppers in the doorway and sprinting towards the CDs at the back of the store like a Hunger Games contestant trying to get to the cornucopia.
Well aware that we had been separated from the others, I allowed Luke to drag Charlie, Destiny and I through the baby and toy aisle, past racks of pajamas and shelves of electronics before he stopped infront of two large cardboard displays. The first had one direction at the top and was completely empty and the second had a cringe worthy picture of us and on the very bottom shelf was one last CD.
“There it is!” Luke cried.
Letting go of mine and Charlie’s hands he ran forward, however no sooner had his fingertips touched the plastic case the woman that had originally been infront of us in line, let’s just call her Jane, grabbed it.
Not letting go, Luke straightened up.
“Excuse me.” He said politely, “I’m buying this.”
“No excuse you.” She snapped, “I’m buying this.”
“Um, I had it first.” Luke mumbled.
“And I have it now.” She shot back.
“Really?” I sighed, “You were so nice in line.”
“I was rooting for you.” Destiny added, “We were all rooting for you.”
Ignoring us, the woman turned back to Luke and tugged at the CD, “My daughter loves this stupid band! Now give me the CD!”
“I also love this stupid bag now give me the CD!” Luke cried.
“I will cut you.” The woman warned her sharp nails scratching the plastic.
“I will call security.” Luke answered, “Now give me the CD! Finders keepers losers weepers lady!”
“Let go of it little boy!”
“No!”
“Yes!”
“Luke…” Charlie said tentatively, “Maybe you should….”
“This is mine!” Luke shouted, “This is the last one I want it!”
Suddenly several woman’s heads turned in our direction and then they were all running forward, lunging for the CD.
“No!” Luke cried, tugging at the album, “Come on guys I had it!”
“My daughter wants that!” a woman shouted.
“My daughter loves it more!”
“My daughter loves this band!”
“Oh yeah bitch, who’s her favorite?”
“Larry?”
“Wrong freaking band lady!”
And they went down.
“Luke!” Charlie cried, running forward, however I ripped her back.
“Give me the thing dammit!”
“I want it!”
“It’s mine!”
“Bonquisha hold my earrings!”
“Give it to me!”
“Someone help me!”
Running forward, I snatched the CD from someone’s hands, and tucked it in my coat pocket before hauling Luke to his feet.
“Ow.” He whimpered, clutching the rapidly forming knot on his head, “I got a boo boo.”
“He’s got the CD!” someone shouted, and then they were charging.
Turning on my heel I ran. I could hear the slaps of their pounding footsteps on the linoleum, feel their hot breath on their neck, sense them growing steadily closet until the first woman tackled me to the ground.
Hitting my chin hard, I fell.
“Take it!” I screamed reaching into my pocket and pulling out the CD, tears of pain filling my eyes, “You savages! I hope your daughters are happy knowing their mother’s broke the drummers face in their favorite band!”
“What?” a woman asked.
Trying hard not to cry, and cupping my chin I threw the CD at her.
Catching it, she looked down at it, then back at me, then back at it, her eyes widening.
“Oh my God.” She breathed, “You… you’re… you’re the one she talks about all the time. Austin or um no, that’s not right.”
“Ashton.” Another Mom snapped, snatching the CD.
“Yeah!” another Mom cried, taking it, “Ashton Irwin, you’re the drummer! With the laugh she likes.”
“Are you okay?” Destiny cried, running up behind them and pushing them out of the way to get to me.
“I’m fine.” I muttered,
Dropping to her knees, Destiny pulled me into a hug.
“Who is that?” one Mom demanded.
“I’m Destiny.” She said slowly, “I’m um… I’m Ashton’s girlfriend.”
“Why?” one woman laughed, “You’re not even good, my daughter is much prettier.”
“You could do so much better.” Another said.
“Like my daughter.” A third piped up, “She has double Ds.”
“My daughter did pageants when she was younger.”
“Mine is a good cook.”
“My daughter plays the guitar.”
“Can you follow my daughter on Twitter, I don’t know her user name but her name is Lorena.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I demanded, rising to my feet, snatching the CD, “All of you should be ashamed of yourself, fighting, insulting my girlfriend, pimping out your daughters, where will it end?”
The women looked down.
“Now.” I sighed, backing away, “I’m just going to take this CD and go.”
Turning on my heel I started to speedily walked away however froze, dropping the CD as something hit me in the back of the head. Whirling around I found a shoe on the ground infront of me.
“For over the CD and no one gets hurt kid.” The Mom who had thrown the shoe warned.
To my relief, security chose that moment to show up. Sending the women on their way and escorting Destiny and I to the end of the line where we had the others join us.
After watching fifteen fights. One woman poop on the floor and two proposals we finally made it to the register and paid before starting back towards the bus.
“Oh my goodness.” Luke laughed when we were halfway there.
“What?” I sighed, exhausted.
“This is the wrong album.” He laughed, “This is the first one, I wanted Live 5sos.”
Livid, I snatched the CD from his grasp and kneeling down bashed it on the curb until the case broke open.
“Ashton what are you doing?” Michael yawned.
Ignoring him, I snapped the CD in Luke’s face.
“Never again.” I whispered, before storming towards the bus to get some much needed sleep.
I really want to Start a 5sos ELF fanfic but I don't know if any of you will read it lol.
If you will let me know.
Thanks for reading :)