Prologue
INVALID
So my secret is out, you say? That would depend which secret you are referring to. That I am a clone? Everyone knows that by now. Or, that I have a dark disease pulsating through my veins, one I am quite fond of? Big deal. It’s exciting, never to have to hold back. Unpredictability is a drug. We all crave it. So what possible secret could I hold that is worth keeping? Imagine me giving you a sly smirk right now, because I have not the misfortune of compassion that will cause me to spill my secrets. Without them, there is no hand to be dealt.
Will my secret keep him close? Perhaps. But here is my confession. I have something better than secrecy. I have absolution.
With me, he is not bound; it will be out of choice. With me, he never has to hold back. I will love him for the good, and especially in the bad. When I gave my word that I’d stop my tricks, I lied. That’s the thing with obsession. It does not care. It only wants, and it is so fixated on want that it becomes need, and it shall have all it wants and needs. And while I have no time to ponder who I am; clone―what a stupid word―I am already on my way to loving him forever. That’s how I play it, because I just don’t care. Everyone knows I am nothing like my pathetic prime. That with me, it’s all bad intentions and violent, narcissistic adoration. That is not who I am. I am but one thing―in absolution.
But to you, my confessions are invalid, because you know this already. You know I will never turn to the light, that I love every bit of what the darkness gives me. And he is my dark paradise. Everyone would say I tricked him in to wanting me, that my siren song entrapped him. Well, I am not the lonely one tonight. Do I feel bad about cheating those who tried to lead me onto the right path? Let me tell you something; there is no right or wrong path. There is just a path and you must walk it, survive it, and somewhere in this unfortunate state of life you might find what you want and never let it go. That is our promise of life. To live. But absolutely not without him.