Ruefulness
Christian;
His head pounded.
When he opened his eyes, the sun shining through the blinds caused them to burn and the sensation went straight to his aching head. Rubbing his temple in an attempt to soothe his head, everything from last night not quite fresh in his head as he thought of how he ended up in his room.
His eyes felt heavy, and he was also very hungry but still wanted to stay in bed. In simple terms, he had a hangover. Christian let out a groan as he turned his face, burying it deep into the pillow beside him.
In what Christian felt were just a few seconds, his door opened loudly with Hitler walking towards him. At the moment they were both pissed, but for different reasons. Hitler was still pissed at his whole performance the previous night, and Christian was currently pissed for not having enough sleep.
"Get up!" Hitler commanded as he reached the bed with a glass of water in his hand.
Christian groaned, not lifting his head out the pillow "I can't."
"Here," Hitler said.
Christian peeked out the pillow to spy what was being given to it. He turned and sat up, collecting the glass of water and two pills from him. "Thank you."
Hitler waited till he had drank the pills and asked. "Wanna tell me why you were in a bar in the first place?"
Christian paused while drinking the remaining of the water, looking at hitler "I was drinking."
He took a seat. "I can't understand you sometimes, I thought you didn't drink?"
He dropped the glass on the bedside table, "I don't usually."
"Christian you don't drink," Hitler stated as a matter of fact. "At all," he added.
"I might as well start now," Christian said as he stood up, dropping the glass of water back on the table.
"What's going on with you and don't tell me nothing, you told me last you didn't intend to do it" Hitler pressed.
Christian gave him a confused expression, "Do what?"
"You ask me!" Hitler shot back, shrugging.
"Myles came out to me last night," Christian confessed.
"No shit," Hitler deadpanned, still looking at Christians like he was dumb.
This only made Christian groan, "I mean to say he told me he had feelings for .. me"
"Okay? That's not a bad thing right?" Hitler asked still not getting the whole point of it all.
"I don't know," he murmured, "probably."
"Why?" Hitler looked at him.
"I don't know.....God!!! Hitler, just.. just leave it alone" Christian complained.
"I think I deserve some explanation since I took care of you last night, when by the way I was supposed to be out," he shot back, standing up walking towards Christian.
"I'm sorry you had to give up a night out to watch over me, it won't happen again," he said obviously frustrated with this conversation.
"I don't fucking care I had to take care of you. But I do care you had to drink to deal with a problem or whatever it is you'd call it. Not like it seemed like a problem anyways." Hitler stated sternly. He looked like he had been up for a while, no trace of tiredness on his face.
"It won't happen again." Christian promised him.
"Okay," Hitler said leaving the room.
Christian went off into the bathroom. When he was done, he dried off his body, put on some deodorant, lotion and his sweatpants.
When he was out, he picked up his phone looking at the time seeing as it was almost twelve in the afternoon, he sighed at how long he had slept in. He was usually one to wake up early, the thought of waking up early reminded him of myles and how he always slept in on weekends.
He kept his phone in his back pocket and went down, meeting hitler fixated on the TV.
"I got takeouts," Hitler said without taking his eyes off the TV.
"What did you order?" Christian asked walking towards the counter. "Great, Chinese" he said, he'd lost appetite now, Chinese reminded him of myles as it was his thing while he himself preferred Indian take outs.
He couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt course within him. For rejecting him when he had felt something towards the boy. But he soon convinced himself it was nothing but a mere likening unto the said boy.
That didn't help him feel at ease either.
Christian didn't want to go anywhere today, so he simply just stayed in. He felt like shit. He rejected Myles and didn't know why he felt like the one who was rejected.
The day passed on pretty quickly as he spent most of the day in FaceTime with his parents. The past few weeks, myles had made him cultivate his own Sunday habits, and it pretty much worked well for Christian and his parents.
Luckily for him his parents didn't work on sundays, but due their travel schedule it really didn't bother that he didn't speak to them for very long. They talked about almost everything, they had even asked of Myles at a certain point but he found a way to brush off the question.
After getting off the phone with his parents, he got off his laptop and went to his bedroom. He brushed his teeth and took a bath and dropped on his bed.
He was ready to sleep when his eyes shot open and he let out a frustrated groan.
He shot up, picking up his phone checking the time on his monochromic lock screen. He put on the lights and went to the table nearby and took out his book.
He had almost forgotten he had an exam tomorrow. Though it was merely a practical exam, it was taken seriously by both the students and the whole department of medicine.
He started on reading and making hand gestures as a way of him explaining to himself. He got tired after two hours and decided to take a break. He went to the kicthen and took out two fingers of bananas and a bottle of water. He fished out his phone from the breast pocket of his pajamas and open it.
He went on sailing through Instagram until he saw it.
A photo.
The photo.
Posted 30mins ago.
He clicked the heart button and took another look at the photo.
It was a photo of Myles. He was smiling, the background of the photo though a little blur as it complimented its centerpiece nevertheless.
Myles looked absolutely angelic in this photo and the sun cast a glow on him as he sat next to the window with the sunset in its full glory. His beguiling honey brown eyes captivating the soul of its beholders. His dirty blonde hair perfectly messy as some really thin strands fell just on his nose.
His hair was fairly long enough but not up to his neck. It was full and soft, messy but he very well knew these were effects myles could be given credit for. And the thick dark eyebrows that framed those honey brown hues.
Myles had his hands together, playing with one of his wrist bands as he looked into the camera.
Christian recognized the photo awfully too well and that made him feel a little bit off tonight. Because he took it.
He smiled as he looked at the photo but his smile soon drained as he became pale when he remembered the rest of that evening.
He closed his phone, finished his banana and went back up with just his bottle of water.
He went back to reading. The next two hours were awfully too long for him, he felt like he had been reading for almost five hours as he couldn't quite focus. His mind replaying the porch event. His brain popping up the Instagram photo he had seen. His ears hearing Myles' chuckle.
He did manage to get in a few things into his head but he was just truly distracted by his own mind revolving around one person.
Myles.
He checked his phone as it read 1:47am. He dropped his phone back and fell on his bed as he immediately slept off.
******
"Myles i uh... i like you,"
"What?"
"I have feeling for you too" Christian said looking at Myles.
"I'm sorry Christian, I can't be with you" Myles said icily.
"Why?" Christian asked but it sounded more like a plea.
"You're too scared to own up to your feelings, I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that," Myles said as he kept on walking.
"Wait hold on" he wanted to go after myles but was stopped my a hand holding on to his shoulder. He turned and his jaw dropped at the person he was looking at.
Tall, thin lips, olive skin, brown hair, green eyes.
He was looking at himself.
"Wake up," his mirror self told him.
"Huh?" He asked confused at what he meant by wake up.
"WAKE UP!!!"
Christian shot up, panting, his alarm blaring off beside him but he knew very that's not what woke him up. He picked up his phone and put off the alarm. He got up from his bed with a groan as he went to the bathroom, washed his face, brushed his teeth and took a shower.
Bathing never seemed long for him as he did now, all he could think of was his dream. It had been reversed and he had seen himself. He still couldn't stop thinking of him. He also couldn't stop thinking about his exam and how all this wouldn't help him focus.
He decided to put this all at the back of him mind, he wasn't gonna let his decision over myles affect his studies. And with that he was out of the bathroom and all dressed up.
He pulled out his chair and sat there for the next hour revising. He packed his books and got up, headed to the kitchen, had a quick fruit snack before heading out the house into campus.
^^^
It was time for his practical exam and as much as he would hate to admit, he still had myles in his head. He still assured himself he didn't feel anything but he couldn't help but feel bad. What confused him the most was that he felt bad for himself and not Myles.
Luckily for him, he was able to participate well even with Myles lingering on his every thought.
The rest of the day went on smoothly and Tuesday came around with the same dream and same activities. Wednesday was the last day of his practical exams and Rex thought it best for them to celebrate after the exams later that night.
At first Christian didn't feel the need to go out, he was too gloomy to even want to celebrate. He did have a good cause to but he didn't just feel like it.
He agreed anyways, it would be a great medium to get his mind off things for a while. So after his exams today, he went straight home and slept off his emotions. His plan tonight was solely to get his mind off the boy.
He woke up to his phone ringing, he sleepily searched for his phone and placed it in his ears without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello," he answered.
"Dude wake up," he didn't need to check the caller ID now to know who was talking, Rex.
"I've been texting you, it's almost nine."
"Oh, I'll meet you there," he said sitting up.
"Okay"
"Wait, where is there?" Christian asked realizing he never inquired about a location.
"I'll text you the location," Rex told him.
"Kay then."
With that he dropped back on his bed and sighed looking at his reflection in the ceiling. Soon after he stood up, searching through his closet for clothes.
He went off to shower after finding a nice pair of grey jeans and a baggy but fitted black shirt.
Few minutes later pulled in at the parking lot of what seemed to be like a club. He mentally groaned, they never would have let Rex pick the location.
He got out his car and walked in, he was still of age, he just turned 20 recently so he wondered how he would be getting into a night club, being a college student didn't even grant him such privileges.
He called Rex.
"How on earth do you expect me to get in?"
"Chillax bro, just tell the bouncers you're with Daniel," Rex replied him relaxed.
"Okay," Christian said, not fully convinced that was going to work.
Daniel was Rex' older brother who was also in the same college as he was but in his finals. Christian walked up to the entrance and used the said name as his entrance into the club.
The doors opened for him and the music was blaring so loud that he wondered how he couldn't even hear it from the outside even when he stood at the entrance.
He didn't take him much time to find his friends as he scammed the club. He walked over to them as they happened to be in a VIP section of the club.
The blood on his face drained when he saw Myles along with two of his friends. They stared at each other for a while before Myles looked away and continued on with his conversation with his friends.
Christian went on to greet his friends who sat at the other side of the long couch. He greeted everyone including Myles' friend Tripp and Moira but greeted Myles with a strained awkward 'hi'. He didn't want to seem phased.
The night went on pretty well as Myles kicked it off pretty hard with the clubbing, Christian couldn't help but feel jealous, angry, bitter at the fact that he had been beating himself over the whole issue when in reality Myles was beyond okay and clearly not phased at all.
Myles had acted as though nothing had even happened. He'd expected Myles to be more affected based on how emotional he normally got with things like this, besides he was the one who got rejected.
The thought of him rejecting Myles brought a pang to his stomach. He made contact with someone who had been staring at him since he got here and motioned her over. They had a few talk and she led him to the back, his friends whooping at him as they went further.
He turned to look at myles who was dancing, oblivious to what was happening. For some reason he hoped Myles wouldn't hear of this but he very well knew his friends.
Christian didn't really want to do anything with her but he needed to assure himself he wasn't into Myles and wasn't gay. They kissed and it felt all to strange to him.
The kiss wasn't bad, but that just wasn't who he wanted to be kissing.
She kissed his neck and trailed down his open chest till she got it his belt.
She started undoing his belt and it dawned on him that he hadn't even noticed when his shirt came off. She unbuckled his belt and took out his dick planting her head on it.
She started sucking on his member, he felt elevated, he dropped his head backwards as he shut his eyes, enjoying the effects of her tongue and the walls of her mouth.
He couldn't get his mind off one things though, myles. He was the only person he could envision even with the girl going down on him.
She soon stopped, scrunching her face as she looked up at him.
"What?" He asked, confused.
"You're not hard." She said scrunching her face. The expression in his face was beyond embarrassing, she simply got up annoyed and left.
He let out a sigh, face palming himself. He dressed up and came out the room and his eyes met that of Myles for a brief second before he went to sit and started sipping on his drink.
He kept on staring at people both guy and girls, and realized nothing actually moved him. He simply wasn't attracted to any, though he found them attractive. He sat there simply bored, normally he would have been enjoying his time chatting or talking about random things with Myles.
He decided he'd meet up with Myles and talk things out. Myles after all seemed unaffected by this whole thing. They could be friends. He needed his friend back.
^^^
Christian drove off to the mall with a long list of groceries and supplies to get that he would need at home. He pulled up at the parking lot and got out his car, walking into the mall.
It was a really big building with almost everything one needed all together in one place. He searched through different aisles for items he'd needed, went through the clothing section, the gaming section and got his essentials. He rolled his cart down to the grocery section of the mall.
He started picking out items from different shelves and tossing them into his cart.
"It wouldn't be that bad now would it?" A soft voice said from over the aisle. He recognized the voice, he felt tense knowing it was Myles at the other end of the aisle.
He tried to avoid him still, not having built up anough confidence to talk to him yet but that changed as he bumped into Myles in an attempt to back away from the aisle.
His first instinct was to avoid him but there was no way that was going to happen now.
"Hey!" he said waving his hand.
Myles stood with a bottle of wine in his hand, "hey."
They said nothing as silence took over but Moira soon spoke up.
"Uhm I'm gonna go check for something at the other aisle," Moira said leaving them both alone.
"Okay," Myles glared at her, dropping the wine into his own cart, looking at the aisle for something else he needed.
"Uhm Myles," Christian started.
"Yea, what's up?" Myles took his eyes off the product he was studying on the shelf and looked at Christian.
"I'm sorry,"
"It's okay, it's cool," Myles smiles at him.
"I uh" Christian was now scratching the back of his neck.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Okay" Myles said flatly walking past him to pick up something else he had seen that he had in his very own list.
"Myles" Christian called out to him.
"Yes!" He said sternly wearing a fake smile.
"I miss you." Christian said the first thing that came to his mind.
"Christian you can't tell me that," Myles sighed.
"Oh sorry," Christian cleared his throat. "What I meant to say is I really miss my friend," he said, his eyes showing all sincerity.
"Yea me too." Myles finally said after a short while of being silent just studying christian.
"Could we go back to the way it was?"
"It obviously can't be the way it was if you're gonna be acting all awkward like you've been the past few days. Though as much as I already lost someone I had feelings for, I wouldn't want to loose my friends too"
"We good?" Christian asked stretching out his hand.
"We are," Myles said as he took it.
"Well that means we have a plus one," Moira stated, revealing herself from the other end of the aisle with a big box of chocolates in her hand.
Myles smiled rolling his eyes, he knew she had to have been listening to their conversation. Christian felt a little embarrassed that Moira had heard them, even if they weren't really talking about anything one couldn't hear.
But he became confused as the thought rang in his head.
A plus one?
A/N: I really hope you're enjoying this book so far, a big thank you to all the readers out there still giving this book a chance.
And I'm really sorry with the shitty update schedule I have.
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Xoxo KAY