(edited)
I begged and i begged, i screamed to my throat went raw, i even tried stopping them myself but all that ended up doing was me getting held down by two guards as Bellamy and Pike led ten or so people to go kill the grounders sent to protect us.
All night i cried and hugged Malachi close, he asked me what was wrong but i didn't have the heart to tell him his father was being killed right at that moment.
Bellamy had two guards watch over me, to make sure i didn't follow them or try anything. He didn't show any remorse as he left camp carrying a gun that would end lives.
I had lost track of time, Malachi was sleeping in my lap but all i could think about was Cassius and his life that has probably already ended.
My door is suddenly opened and Raven walks in with a look of pity.
I don't blame her, i probably look like a mess, my eyes red from crying, hair tangled.
She approaches me and engulfs me in a tight hug, whispering that things will be okay. I can't hold myself together anymore as i feel myself break, tear flood out of my eyes, my sobs and Raven's gently hushes fill the room.
I cling onto her shirt in desperation, wanting nothing more than to just disappear. Raven doesn't pull away as i drench her shirt with my tears, instead she holds me close and gently strokes my hair.
"i-i didn't even ge-get to say a proper goodbye" i sob, clutching onto her for dear life.
"hey hey it's okay, I'm here, everything will be alright" she tries to calm me down but none of her words process in my head, instead my hearing zones in on the guards talking outside.
"All the men have returned, no injured"
My anger and sadness build up as i quickly get out of bed, telling Raven to watch Malachi before i run out the door.
The two guards call out to me as i run down the halls, well somewhat run, my body is still exhausted from getting no sleep and crying all night so i probably couldn't run as well.
As soon as i step outside and into the opened, the two guards catch up to me and grab my arms. I scream at them to let me go, my throat burning from the action.
A lot of people turn to look at me in pity as they watch the usually strong and independent girl break down once again.
"stand down" a voice calls out, a voice I'd much rather not hear at the moment.
I turn around to the entrance and see Bellamy and Pike leading their group, covered in blood that most certainly wasn't their own.
A distressed cry leaves my mouth as i charge at Bellamy, throwing weak hits at him but he just grabs my arms to stop me.
"i hate you, i hate you, why would you do that, why would you do that to me?! why would you kill him" i cry out, falling to the floor as i feel my heart shatter into a million pieces as the realization sets in.
"I'm sorry Wren" He apologizes, kneeling down in front of me and attempting to wrap me in his arms.
"no you're not" i spit at him with as much venom as i can before pushing him off me.
I try to gather myself but anyone that takes one look at me can tell I'm on the verge of breaking down once again.
Standing from the ground, i gather as much of my dignity that i have left before slowly walking to the gate.
My gaze never falters as i hear guards asking if they should stop me or not but Bellamy dismisses them and lets me go.
Walking out of Arkdia, i let the tears stream down my face once I'm out of everyone's sight. I stumble through the woods, hoping I'm going in the right direction but once the scent of blood fills my nose, i know I'm there.
Walking into a clearing, dead bodies lay everywhere and the stench of blood is so strong it makes me gag.
Through watery eyes, i see a large man with curly brown hair laying against a rock not to far from where i am.
"Cassius" i whisper before running over to him.
His eyes are closed and blood is gushing out of a bullet wound in his stomach but his chest rises and falls as he takes ragged breaths.
"Cassius!" i yell more urgently, putting pressure on his bullet wound while more tears fall from my eyes as the situation sets in.
"Cassius please" i beg, not wanting to lose him.
"Wren" he whispers so silently i almost don't hear it.
"hey it's going to be alright okay, you're going to be fine. just hang on a little longer, I'm sure someone will come and find us soon" i reassure.
He slowly takes my hands in his and pulls them away from his wound. "there's no hope for me Wren i-"
"no no it's fine, you'll be fine" i interrupt, panicking while putting my hands back on his wound.
"Wren" he calls in a soft voice, making me stop what i was doing "it's fine, it'll be okay" he gently cups my cheek in his hand and wipes away the tears falling from my eyes.
"is Malachi okay?" he asks casually, like he's not bleeding out right in front of me.
"yeah yeah he's fine" i sob while nodding my head.
"please tell him i love him and that I'm sorry"
"i-i will"
"you can't stay here, someone is bound to find us sooner or later and if they see you here they'll think you did it"
"i can't leave you here, i won't, you'll die" my hands start shaking uncontrollably, he grasps both my blood covered hands in his and looks me in the eye.
"i love you, never forget that" his words fade away and his grip on my hands loosen.
"Cassius" i cry out "Cassius!'
He remains unresponsive as i feel for a pulse and find none.
I don't know how long i sat there and cried but even if i wanted to leave i couldn't, my eyes were so full of tears it was hard to see and i'm sure i wouldn't be able to walk without falling.
The sound of horses approaching fast alarms me, Cassius had said to leave before anyone came.
Quickly standing up, i grab Cassius' knife that had been discarded next to him before stumbling over to the tree line.
Hiding behind a tree, i watch as Clarke and Lexa get off a horse and stare in horror at the massacre that lays before them.
Trying to hold myself together, i slowly start to walk back to Arkadia with a plan in mind.
Hiding the knife in the waist band of my pants, i enter Arkadia and instantly is met with looks of pity and remorse.I know they don't feel bad, they're the ones who voted for this to happen, they just want it to look like they care.
Ignoring everyone i pass, i head straight to the meeting room, knowing that's where they're most likely to be.
Wiping any remaining tears from my face, i try to keep my expression hard as i push past the guards and enter the room.
Just like i thought, Bellamy and Pike stand in the room alone.
"Wren" Bellamy breaths a sigh of relief, almost like he was worried about me.
Ignoring Bellamy and his false sense of pity, i go straight to Pike.
"Citlali, I'm glad you're back, now maybe we can talk about my plans with the grounders because apparently you're meant to bring peace so i was thin-" he gets cut off as i let out a yell and pull the knife out, trying to take a swing at him.
He reacts fast and manages to dodge it but i swing again and end up cutting his cheek.
I feel two arms wrap around me to restrain me and Pike yells out "Guards! guards!"
I try fighting against Bellamy's strong grip as he whisper into my ear "Calm down Birdie"
"don't call me that" i hiss at him before headbutting him in the nose, i go to attack Pike again but i let out a painful scream as i feel electricity run through my body.
Falling to the floor, i helplessly watch as a guard puts his taser away before picking my limp body off the floor.
The last thing i see before i blackout is Pike cleaning the blood off his face and Bellamy watching me get taken away.
***
I regain consciousness to people talking loudly.
Groaning in pain from the splitting headache forming, i try to rub my eyes only to find i can't move them due to handcuffs keeping me to the bed.
My eyes slowly start to focus as i see I'm in the infirmary.
"what's going on?" i whisper to myself before seeing Pike, Bellamy and Abby standing at the foot of my bed.
"glad to see you're awake" Pike starts talking while slowly walking closer to me "that was some stunt you pulled back there but I understand your pain, the man you loved was just killed"
"you don't understand shit" I spit at him, pulling against the handcuffs to try and get them to loosen up.
"don't be like that, we both have a common goal here, to do what's best for our people. Now I could send you to lock up with the rest of the grounders but Bellamy had suggested a better way I can deal with you" He taunts, kneeling down next to me so he's at eye level.
"a lot of the people still trust you and you have a strong connection with the grounders so you're going to help me get everyone on my side and take them down, show them that Citlali doesn't want peace" Pike gives me a sickly sweet smile while I glare daggers at Bellamy.
Why would he suggest that? I guess he really has changed.
"and what makes you think I'll help you" I challenge, not liking the feeling of being powerless.
"I thought you might disagree with my terms so I took it upon myself to get some leverage" he smirks before nodding his head at Bellamy, who then calls for some guards.
Two guards walk in, both holding the arm of a young boy.
"Malachi!" I cry out in desperation. fighting more aggressively against the handcuffs. Frustrated tears leave my eyes, first Cassius and now they're trying to take Malachi from me? what monsters they've all become.
Bellamy nods at the guards and they both exit, leaving Malachi in Bellamy's hands.
"you monster! let him go! I'll kill you, I swear to god I will" I scream, thrashing around in the bed, desperately wanting to get free.
"calm down, no harm will come to him, just help me" Pike's calm voice does nothing to calm my anger "we wouldn't want what happened to his father to happen to him"
"what happened to papa?" Malachi asks, worry clearly shown in his voice.
"oh you haven't told him yet? I think the boy deserves to know"
Feeling pressured and not wanting him to find out from someone else, i hesitantly tell him "Malachi, your father sadly passed away, I'm so sorry" my voice cracks at the memory of Cassius bleeding to death in my arms.
Tears fall out my eyes as I watch Malachi process the information. I didn't want him to find out like this, I wanted things to be more calm.
A moment passes before a series of no's leave his mouth and tears stream down his cheeks.
I find myself crying once again at the broken boy in front of me, begging for it not to be true.
"please let me go, he needs me" I plead, wanting to comfort and support him but with Pike and Bellamy here I know that won't be possible.
"agree to help me" Pike remains unwavering, not seeming to care about the poor boy.
"okay okay fine, just promise me you won't hurt him" I state, not caring about anything apart from Malachi's safety.
"deal" Pike nods his head at Abby, causing her to rush over and unlock the handcuffs.
Once free, I rush over to Malachi and hug him tightly and don't let go. We both hold onto each other for awhile, not caring that both our shirts were wet with each others tears or that we had an audience watching us.
After a second, someone clears their throat from behind us and I hesitantly pull away to see that the two guards had rejoined us in the room.
"what are they doing back here?" I question, alarm and panic taking over as I stand in front of Malachi to protect him.
"take him away" Pike orders, staring directly at the small boy.
"you said you wouldn't hurt him" I scream out will pushing Malachi away from the two approaching guards.
"he won't get hurt, he's just getting locked up with the other grounders" Pike states as Bellamy pulls me away and the guards take Malachi.
He kicks and screams, calling my name out as he's dragged down the hall.
Once he's out of sight, Bellamy lets me go and I drop to the floor in grief.
"I'll see you later Wren, You're going to be a big help" Pike comments before he leaves the room with Bellamy and Abby following behind.
I lay there, broken on the floor, thinking about Cassius, thinking about Malachi, only wanting one thing
For this pain to go away.
***