I'm going to try to stick away from just copying what happened in the actual movies.
From now on I'll try to just make up a completely new story line with little details from the movies.
I'm free for suggestions as well! :)
Btw, I WILL put Spider-Man in here. I swear on my life my baby will be in here.
I tried to convince myself I wasn't crazy.
I knew my family loved me. They didn't want to lose me. Doing what I did only pained them. I had to be strong. Fight it.
For them.
You're not crazy, Tiana. You're not crazy. Just like Bruce said. Trauma.
Trauma. Trauma.
You aren't a killer. It's not your...
fault. It's not my fault.
I kept telling myself this like I was trying to reason with my brain. Telling myself it's not my fault didn't feel right. I knew I was a killer.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Be strong for them.
You did wrong but you can still be a good person. I can still be a good person.
I felt restless sitting on the bench so I began to take a walk. Lapping around the park and breathing in the sweet smell of the trees. I listened to the birds chirping and the kids playing.
Anxiety was overwhelming me but I tried my best to push it down. I didn't want to have a panic attack in the middle of a park.
Listen to the leaves and the wind, Tiana. Smell the orange trees. Hear the metal swings creak from age.
Don't let it get to you. Be strong.
I continued to walk at a slow and steady pace. I tried listening to my own advice.
Breath. Just breath.
It helped..some. Sleepiness dragged me downward but I didn't want to go back to the tower. Maybe I'd stay away for a little while at a motel. Collect myself maybe.
I couldn't imagine what they were thinking right now. Oh! And Bucky. I feel like an asshole. I haven't talked to him too much. Not even a kiss on the cheek.
I'll have to apologize to him. All of them.
I've caused so much pain in so little time. The most I can do is at least try to do better.
<><><><><><>
With they money I had in my pocket, which was quite a lot thanks to Tony, I got myself a hotel room. It had one bed, a standard hotel bathroom, and a TV. The room was pretty small but I didn't mind.
I sighed as I plopped into the bed. My phone began to buzz and I picked it up to see who it was.
'Tasha'
I exhaled sharply before answering.
"Hey, Nat." I said, trying to sound okay.
"Hey. I was just worried. Bucky wanted to talk but you left."
That made me feel more like an asshole. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that. Just needed a little air. I'm guessing you all are already tracking me so you know where I am already." I said. Of course they'd track me. They didn't trust me right now.
"Well..okay yeah. We just wanna make sure you're okay." she defended.
"It's fine, Tasha. It was inevitable." I sighed. "Is Buck there? Can I talk to him?"
"Yeah, hold on." I waited a few seconds before Bucky answered.
"Hey." he said.
"Hey. Sorry I left. We should have talked it out."
"It's fine, doll." he answered. He sounded..sad but tried to be sweet.
"You can come here if you want to talk." I felt bad.
"Are you sure? You seem to be want to left alone."
"No, no, it's fine." I assured. If I wanted to see anyone right now, it's Buck. "You know where I am." I said and hung up.
I waited for Buck as I lounged, bored. I really did miss him even though I see him everyday. We haven't had time to talk a lot recently.
About 10 minutes later, I hear a knock. I look through the peephole just to be safe, then open the door. He smiled at me and I tried my best to smile back. He closed the door, locked it, and we sat down on the bed.
I leaned my head against him and sighed.
"So the last couple weeks have been a lot." he said.
I chuckled. "Yeah. For sure." I sat up and look at his brilliant eyes.
"I've missed you." he said with a small sigh. He put his, normal, hand on my face and stared back at me.
"Me too." I leaned in and kissed him passionately. Oh and did he kiss back.
He pushed me forcefully but softly onto the pillow.
I prefer this conversation much more than the talking one.
<><><><><><><><>
I woke with the morning sun shining on my face. Bucky was asleep beside me. I smiled at his sleeping figure. He seemed so calm in that state.
I didn't bring extra clothes so I slipped(back on) what I already had. I went to the bathroom and attempted to brush out my hair, which was now a complete mess for more reasons than others, with my fingers.
After being slightly successful, I parted my hair and braided it. I splashed water onto my face. The little makeup I had on previously was practically gone. Little lip gloss was left, leaving my lips a light shade of rosy pink.
I heard a grunt as Bucky got up from bed. I chuckled at him and how much of a deep sleeper he is.
"Morning." he greeted as he entered the bathroom. I chuckled again since he was practically naked.
I turned to kiss him and turned back to the mirror. In the mirror, I could see where most my my lip gloss had gone. Bucky didn't even attempt to wipe it off. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
God did I love that man.
-----
After Bucky had gotten dressed, we went to a coffee shop nearby after checking out. I still didn't want to go back to the tower just yet but I didn't have that much money to be spending on a hotel room when I had a free room down the street.
Bucky and I didn't really get to have our talk he had gone there in the first place to have but he could tell that I didn't want to have that talk. He always made me feel better just being around me.
Maybe that's all I've needed this entire time.
He sipped his coffee across from me as he looked at me.
"What?" I asked with a smirk.
"Oh, nothing." he smiled back.
"I'm fine, Buck. I really am. I wasn't thinking straight. I promise you, I'm perfectly okay." I said. If I had said that yesterday, it would all be a complete lie. Saying it now, I was telling the truth.
I had lost sight of my life. My goal in life was to be better, not end it. I had to be strong.
"I know, doll. I trust you."
After we were done and had breakfast there, we left back to the tower. I held his hand the entire way. We didn't really run into anyone on our way up until we reached the main floor everyone hangs on.
"Hey." I said, a little quiet.
"Hey love birds." said Tony, sipping coffee I was sure he sprinkled alcohol in.
"Ah, quiet old man." I joked.
He winked at me, not showing any signs of offense.
By their looks, I could tell they knew I felt better. I was sure half of them thought we talked it out last night and the other half knew the truth. I didn't really care what they thought we were up to. Hell, I wouldn't mind doing it again some time.
"Coffee?" offered Clint as he poured himself some.
"No thanks. Already had some at Kennedy's." I said.
Clint pointed the pot at Bucky and he put his hand up as a "No thanks".
"Anything with the UN and stuff?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm sure they're planning something big for us. Hope it's a big surprise party." Banner joked. I knew he still felt guilty for what happened with the mind control thing. I guess it like what Cap said. You have to say it's not your fault sometimes.
"Anything else?" asked Bucky.
"Nothing really. Everything has been quiet for the most part." said Nat.
"Like a vacation for once." said Clint.
I sat down with with Bucky. "Anything from Thor yet?"
"Off the radars." said Steve. "Must be Loki or something."
"Kinda want to meet the guy." I joked. "Sounds like an asshat."
"That's a new one." laughed Clint.
"Oh, not for me. I use to call the HYDRA director that behind his back all the time. Thought I was going to die one time after he heard me." I laughed.
"Oh, he was always an asshole." chimed in Bucky.
"Sure he was! That man was a pervert I swear."
Some people laughed and others cringed at the thought. The day continued on with food, beer, and whiskey. It was nice. It felt normal.
We exchanged stories and laughs. We had a good time for once since last time, Ultron almost killed us.
It was dark out when Clint passed out, Tony wanted to go work on some dangerous weapons while drunk, Banner, Steve and Nat wanted to go to their rooms and sleep, and Bucky and I went to his room.
His room wasn't exactly messy or anything and it was pretty dark. I stumbled a few time since I was pretty drunk, and he laughed at me.
We laid down in the darkness, but being drunk I didn't want to sleep. Neither did he.