The two reached home and settled down in their shared bedroom. Respectively, Amari laid herself upon him, stripped of his shirt and his arms back and hands behind his head.
They hadn't said anything to each other since they got in. Almost as if they were scared to speak to each other. What were they suppose to say was the question. Even after all of that, that didn't know what to do.
Zion gazed down at her, eyes closed and humming some random tune he didn't recognize. He wondered what was going through her head. Maybe he did too much, but he wasn't in the mindset to lose her.
"Mari."
"Hm?" She continues to hum.
"Why did you let him kiss you?"
It was a good question. Not knowing if she could answer, her eyes fluttered open to look up at him. She stared at him for a moment.
"I made one mistake. You couldn't live it down. I felt alone and thought it was inevitable you'd leave me. So I let it happen. Why did I stop him is the question, Z." She laid her head back down and closed her eyes, continuing to hum the random tune.
He held his breath for a moment. "Oh. It's like that?"
"Yea. It's like that. What do you want me to do? Lie?"
Technically she did. She kissed him. Not the other way around.
"No, of course not." He replied. He removed one hand from behind his head to massage her scalp.
"Okay then."
It was fairly dark at this point, but neither of the two were sleepy. The tension could honestly be cut with safety scissors. It was not even clear to either what type of tension they were feeling.
What's questionable is the amount of ease and peace came with their tension.
Amari's phone dinged. They both looked over at it, as if it were something for him too. She got up and reached over for it on the night stand, her lower body now laying across his Zion couldn't help but smack her ass. She jumped and glared at him briefly.
It was a message from Edwin. Her heart sank. She realized how he must be feeling and how she just shoved him under the bus like that after all that happened. She stared at her screen, the message. She read it so he knew she saw it but she couldn't respond.
"Who was it?"
"Um, Edwin."
He blew air out his nose. "The hell does he want?"
"It's nothing."
Amari turned her phone face down and sat up on top of him and began to kiss him. There was a slight hint of sadness.
They pulled away and she moved the longer dreads from in front his face to look at him for a good minute. His jaw was clenched and his eyebrows furrowed. She ran her finger across one slowly .
"Why?"
"I don't know if I can do this,"
There was a moment where everything froze before her eyes began to gloss over and she let go of the bundle of dreads she held in her hand. She quickly hopped off of him and laid beside him.
He was only telling the truth.
"I hurt you that bad?"
"It's not that you hurt me, baby. I just feel like I need too much reassurance." He confessed his hand taking hers and intertwining their fingers.
"So you want to separate?" Her voice wavered.
Zion shook his head. "Mari, I'm holding your hand."
"So?"
He turned towards her and used his other hand and guided her chin so that they were face to face again. "I need you, I can't let you go."
"Then why would you even say something like that to begin with?" She asked.
"You made me think out loud."
"Sure." She rose from her spot on the bed, letting their fingers untangle and their grips loose. "I know I have no right to be acting like this, but just tell me when you make up your mind. I'm going on a walk."
He watched as she walked out the room. He scratched his scalp, sighing heavily. He just let her go.
Amari was about to go for a friendly walk, sliding on her sneakers with no socks as if it were a hurry. She opened the door and closed it softly behind her, wary of her neighbors. She looked to her left, and then right.
To her right was Brandon, leaning on the balcony to the stairs. He wore some pants that looked pj-ish, but were probably not along with a white tank top. It wasn't cold, but not a warm enough night to wear such a shirt.
She walked towards him, and almost attempted to walk passed him. Amari couldn't.
"Hey, B."
"Hey, Amari. You're acting suspicious." He says, his back towards her.
"What? No—"
"Where are you going so late?" He asked, finally turning around. There was a cloud of smoke escaping his mouth with a blunt between his fingers carelessly. She didn't mind the smell.
She shrugged. "A walk."
He rolled his eyes. "There's obviously something wrong. May I get a brief summary?"
She stepped down on one step to sit down. "It's just Zion."
"And?"
Amari glared over her shoulder at Brandon with such a stink eye. "And? You must think you know everything."
"Amari."
A new voice. Yet a familiar one.
She turned face forward and there he was, just as he had promised in the text. Edwin stood on the landing of the stairs that led up to where she sat, an awkward distance nonetheless.
"See? I know enough. Enough to not tell your business." He takes a drag.
"Y'all should go down a floor so he can't here you. Walls are thin. You should know that," He winks at Amari as Edwin shakes his head.
She got up and jogged down the steps to join Ed, and they walked down to the floor below. Finding a bench, they sat next to each other. There wasn't as much space as there should be.
"I'll make this quick. Okay?" He turned to her briefly.
"I think that maybe until either Z finds more trust in me or if you two split, we aren't to keep any contact with each other."
Amari frowned. "What? That's not fair to you."
"It's not. But honestly I care about you more than I care about myself. It's depressing to hear but even more true now that I say it out loud. So, deal?"
She flinched. "Eddy. This all my fault."
"Mari. Don't worry about it. I'll be here for you, always. Even if we can't necessarily contact each other. I'm doing this for you and Zion."
Amari nodded sadly. "Deal, I guess."
They stood, and hugged each other for what might be the last time for a long time. It wasn't too long, but nor was a short petty hug neither. They parted ways safely, Edwin walking back to his car and Mari walking up a floor.
Brandon was still there, though now his blunt had looked closer to a roach now. He turned to watch her make her way back up. He nodded upwardly, it being slow and steady.
He stared at her for a moment, looking her up and down. "Everything okay?"
"Yea. Thanks." She said with a dry tone.
His sympathy bled through his high and low sitting lids, but not enough to give her a good know-it-all pep talk. He heard the whole conversation, as usual, he hears everything. This time he was out of sight and realized how much a dick move that might be at the moment to force it out of her.
She walked a few doors down, letting herself back into the apartment to meet her love back in bed to have a well needed night's rest. There was nothing to be said about tonight and was kept til morning.
~*~*~*~*~
a/n: This book is ending a few chapters. But a new book is coming for certain!!! Hopefully you guys like it as much as y'all did these two. Anyhow..
Corona can suck my $&!# right now.
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