A\N: The number of times I've restarted this is honestly embarrassing. As of now, I'm on attempt #11. #12. 🙄 1175 words down, maybe another 350 before I'm done and here I am battling restarting the whole thing again... ugh.. I need professional help... fuck it! This is completely unedited, I need to post it before I change my mind!
It's just a storyline.
I find myself repeating the words in my head, a poor attempt at slowing my racing heart. Any minute now his lips will be on mine...
A storyline he doesn't want to do.
But it does nothing to stop the sharp breaths I'm fighting to control. My skin is hypersensitive, awake and thrumming with life, humming with feelings so intense it's almost indecent.
His fingers graze the side of my face, slowly, so slowly before they slip behind my head, caught in that in-between spot just above my neck. His thumb brushes my cheek. His eyes search my features, taking in all of me looking for signs of pain or danger.
I swallow, hard, my chest heaving, my words a breathless, shaky whisper when I say, "I'm okay." I'm trying but I don't know how to keep my body from reacting to him. I've never been that good of an actor and I know it's only a matter of time before he realizes just how real this is to me.
For him, it is about the little things. He says a simple look could make all the difference in selling something, I'd never quite understood that but then he blinks and his eyes change.
His eyes are deeper now. Desperate. Hungry.
I force myself to breathe, he's so close and I can't feel my legs anymore. I can't feel my fingers or all the people and cameras around us because all I feel is him, everywhere, filling everything.
And he kisses me.
His lips are softer than anything I've ever known, it's effortlessly sweet. And then it changes.
His hand tightens around my waist, pressing me hard against him and destroying any rational thoughts in my head. It's deep. So strong. It's the kind of kiss that makes you realize oxygen is overrated.
And I know I shouldn't be enjoying this, I know it means way more to me than it does to him but the taste of him is making me crazy; he's all heat and peppermint and desire and I want more.
He breaks away, he's breathing like he's lost his mind and he's looking at me like something has broken inside him. His adam's apple bobs as he swallows and that's when I realize the lights have dimmed around the ring, we aren't on-air anymore and I wonder for how long.
Before I could speak, or even blink, he swings around. Heading up the ramp without me.
+ + +
AJ's head pokes out the door, this exhausted look in his eye as he looks back into the locker room as if he's not sure which area is safer—inside or out.
"Well?" I say a tad too sharp.
He bites on his bottom lip and I know what he's going to say before he says it. "He said he's busy."
Ice is eating away at my body. It's the only two words he'd said, or well, texted to me all week.
I can feel the heat burning on my cheeks and I hate myself for not being able to control it. For not fighting harder to change Vince's mind about the kiss. For being so goddamn selfish and not realizing that a single kiss was not worth losing my best friend . . .
No.
I cannot.
I will not give up without a fight.
Something takes over me, a bravery that I've only ever felt in the ring as Kelly Austin. I know for a fact that Kelly Anderson, the girl that was nervous about her ring gear exposing her midsection, the real me would never do what I'm doing.
The door slams behind me, guys shouting and grumbling under their breaths as I push past them.
Randy is sitting on a bench in his gear, a towel over his shoulders with one hand on each end, a wide smile on his face talking with Adam.
Adam notices me first.
I must look crazy.
I feel crazy, but I can't stop myself from stalking across the room.
His smile drops when he sees me, his shoulders stiffen. "What are yo--"
"Why are you being an ass?"
The room falls silent, so silent that I can hear Randy swallow. "I, I don't know what you're talking about." His blue eyes refuse to meet mine, looking at the room taking in the fact that all eyes are on us.
"I've sent three people in here after you. Why are you ignoring me?"
He stands up, his hands grasping my shoulders, he lowers his head closer to my level and he speaks in a soft, slow voice and suddenly I feel like that seven-year-old little girl he met eighteen years ago. "We can talk about this later. You need to go before you get in trouble."
"No. I wanna talk now." I pull from his grip and plant my butt down where he was sitting. "No more avoiding me, Randy. I will stay here all night if I have to."
I can see the frustration raging in him, his jaw sets firmly but nothing can change my mind. The silence is now whispers between men and for the first time my eyes scan the locker room. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't second-guessing my decision, I will probably never live this down.
Randy throws me over his shoulder in one swift movement and a shriek shoots out of my mouth. Both from surprise and frustration that I can't wiggle out of his iron hold. "Put me down!"
"Fine." He drops me a few feet outside of the locker room. "Stay your ass out here."
I'm rooted to the ground, spinning while standing, dizzy in my blood and in my bones. The entirety of my body aches because deep down I know why. I know why he's avoiding me. I know the words he doesn't want to say.
Don't cry, I keep saying to myself.
Don't cry.
It feels like a battle I'm going to lose. "Please," The word a lit cigarette lodged in my throat but it manages to make him freeze. "What did I do wrong?"
He doesn't move, doesn't turn around. It doesn't even look like he's breathing.
"Ran--"
He rushes forward, abruptly impassioned, and I struggle to hold my ground. "It's disgusting!"
I blink.
This isn't really happening. It can't be real, it's one of the nightmares that wake me up in a cold sweat.
My legs are unsteady. I'm nodding and I don't know why but I can't seem to stop.
"The thought of us," He stammers, "It's unnatural. It's sick, Kelly. For fuck sakes, I taught you how to tie your shoes!"
The walls are moving, I'm seeing spots, blinking at nothing. "I'll talk to Vince--"
"Don't you get it, it's too late!" He stares at me, chest heaving. "It can't be undone. It won't go away. I stand here and I can't stop it- I can't stop the turning in my stomach."
I swallow the tears, "I get it, you're repulsed by me!"
"What?" Randy is looking at me like he might be going deaf and blind at the same time.
"You're my best friend, I can't lose you, not over something this stupid. I don't care that you don't feel the same way as me . . ." He touches my cheek, so soft like he's not sure if I'm real, like I could disappear in a moment and whatever thought I had is gone.
He moves closer, just an inch.
I'm struggling to get oxygen in my lungs.
And he's kissing me. Deeply, desperately. His hands are around my waist and he's breathing so hard and he hoists me up, into his arms, and my legs wrap around his hips and he's kissing my neck, my throat. His voice is shaking as he speaks, "I want you so much it scares me."
There is no version of this man that I'm not attracted too. Did you watch Ruthless Aggression about Evolution? The fact that there is a playful/childish Randy it sent my heart soaring. If I were to write this as a whole book that's who Randy would be off-screen.
I hope you like this, I haven't written—scratch that—I haven't finished anything in 5 months so I feel like I'm a little rusty but hopefully this is still acceptable.