(You have 5 missed calls from xxx-xxx-xxx. Call back?)
You stared down at your phone, your finger just a few centimeters above the link to the number.
Did you really wanna call that person back?
You didn't want to talk to any of your psychopathic family right now, they deserved your absence. You were too cool for them and gave them enough of your glorious presence this past week.
You groaned, before sliding off the link and onto the groupchat...
Themostawesomestgrill
Yo buttfaces
Who called me last night?
I was out with my mom omg
Y'all know I have a non-psychopathic family, right?
Smh 😤
Jeffery Dahmer:
I called, whore
Why didn't you pick up or call back?
I wanted to invite you to go on a hike with us
Wasn't really a hike, more like climbing trees and trying to call Bigfoot out but he never came
Bastard
Still owes me a free hotdog
👿
TicciBitchy:
Yeah (Y/n), the f r i c k??
We wanted to use u as Bigfoot bait 😔😔
But ur too gae so you didn't pick you
Lil brat
Greenlilgremlin:
Omg wtf
(Y/n)
They used me as bait
Seriously
That shit had me screaming
No cap
It was daRK OUT BY THEN AND EVERYONE WAS HIDING AND I WAS ALONE
EJ:
It was pretty funny.
And some teenagers were out boozing and smoking weed so we ambushed them on the way and I got some kidneys.
Also they were littering.
Sigh— Gen Z...
Greenlilgremlin:
Omg shut up Jack
That's racist 🙄🙄
Themostawesomestgrill:
Oh
When you're a serial killer but you care about the environment 🤪
Respect y'all for making the world a brighter, happier place by eliminating littering teenagers. 😜
By murdering them
Hoods:
You're welcome.
Brother Tim:
Dang right u respect us Oml 😤
Imma go hit a blunt or some shit by homos 👋👋
(Brother Tim has left the chat! Bye, bye, Loser!)
Ticking bby ;):
Oui oui
He's literally dying from lung cancer omg 😳
I'm so worried for his well being
Jk
Hope he dies ✌🏻
He's so gai for me and it annoys me 🙄🙄
Themostawesomestgrill:
Wait wat?
Omg but I'm the one whose gai for u
I'm supposed to b the only 1
Wtf
I will eat his child for breakfast then vomit it up and burn it's remains 🍳 🧒
I hope his child is lil huddy
Idk I don't watch tiktok anymore so idk what's going on
Anyway
Imma go eat something even though I'm not hungry I just hate you all and I'm bored asf
Greenlilgremlin:
Oh
My Gosh
"How should I describe u?"
"... so who is gAE?"
I think I woke Liu up from his nap due to my 3 am cackling
Thanks (Y/n) for blessing up with this video
Themostawesomestgrill:
Lmao Ik
I'm cackling rn
I think I'm waking up my mom and dad lmao
Idc ✌🏻
Also the corona is making me skip school tmrw :((
Hahah jk school sucks
(FunFact!: Author-Crackhead is actually homechooled!)
And I hope I get the coronavirus and I'll spit on all of u so I won't suffer alone
Lol
It's corona time! 🤪🤪
Jeffery Dahmer:
Omg
Thank god you're not one of those ppl freaking out abt it
All you need to do is wash your hands a lot and not touch your face
And sneeze on your elbow and stay farther away from ppl 😳
Which Slendicc is actually considering delaying our next missions till summer comes 👀👀
I'm both highly upset and relieved
Cause I'm getting tired of these hoes not screaming 😱
Hoods:
It'll be kinda nice to not have to kill people for awhile.
And not get in trouble for not doing our missions on time.
I vote for the idea.
Also if we do happen to get the virus— Slender will probably just have us bedridden for a few weeks...
He doesn't care about his children omg 😭😭
Ticking bby ;):
Daddy Slendicc cares about me!!
He's always wanting to cuddle me at 2 am and whispering seductive things in my ear
Isn't that what fathers do with their sons?!!! 😩
Hoods:
Omg.
Obviously.
He just loves you. 💞💞💞
Jeffery Dahmer:
Incest
I'm calling CPS
That's sexual assault omg
Wtf
Greenlilgremlin:
I'm pregnant 🤰
With Jeff's child
Themostawesomestgrill:
Yeetus that fetus
Hoods:
Wtf
I—
Is that like abortion?
Jeffery Dahmer:
Omg BEN I was suppose to tell them abt the baby
The hell, bitch?
Also ur not pregnant
With my baby
Ur pregnant with (Y/n)'s
I stole her sperm
And made BEN eat it while he slept
Themostawesomestgrill:
I have a penis?
Why did no one inform me?
Omg wtf
U got a glimpse at my pp?
😡😡
Greenlilgremlin:
Okay but like wtf
I feel uncomfortable thinking abt being pregnant with (Y/n)'s child no cap
I feel comfy with Jeff's child tho ;))
Come to me, papiii!! 😩😩🥵🥴
(Jeffery Dahmer, Hoods, and Themostawesomestgrill have left the chat! The only thing left here is me, a lonely bot! Sucks to be lonely.)
Hey hey whey
Hi
Sorry I made this chapter reeaally short, but I have school tmrw (like the thing said, I'm homechooled so the corona hasn't taken its toll on me and my education!! :,D)
Hope y'all enjoy your spring break/corona break!!
I love every one of you. Be sure to wash your hands with extra soap and warm water for 20 or more seconds, and don't touch your face very often, and don't touch others too much, either. Seriously, stay safe, but don't panic. The Coronavirus only really kills infants, (I almost cried when I read that...) and mainly the elderly. Which is depressing but true, they tend to have weakest immunity.
Hope you guys don't worry too much and take care of yourselves. 💕
Be sure to pray for our nation and other nations around the globe, panic is continuing to spread. <33
-Yourlocalcrackhead