I lean on the side of my car all James Dean in a rebel without a cause style except I did have a cause and she goes by the name of Harley-Blair Thompson. I can't wait for HB to leave her house.
Something about standing outside of it alone makes me nervous and I'm not someone who regularly gets nervous. The fact that Harley brings out a different side to me every time I'm around her confuses but intrigues me. I feel like I'm discovering myself more and more each day and I have her to thank for that. Maybe one day I'll tell her how I feel. One day when I'm sure. One day when she doesn't see me as just a 'friend'.
I'm still not certain whether it's the fact that the house is an awful colour, like the Easter bunny puked on some bricks after a hefty meal of jelly beans and skittles or whether it's the fact that the most beautiful girl in the world lives inside it. I'm lucky enough that she was coming out to see me.
This house is unique and different just like Harley and that's why I love it. Comparing my house to hers was like comparing bread to cake.
I'd already texted her and told her that I was outside so that means she would probably be exiting her house in approximately 3 minutes- she does this every day like clockwork. As I stand and wait, I rehearse the new Shakespeare quote I forced myself to learn last night using Cliffsnotes. It was surprisingly helpful and would have probably been useful when I was doing my English GCSE, maybe I would've gotten an A* rather than a measly A.
I began mumbling the words over and over again to make sure I had the most perfect delivery when I eventually say it to her. I didn't want to trip over my words and ruin the moment. I even wrote it down on the inside of my palm to ensure that it definitely didn't leave my mind. Although, it's a little smudged now from all the sweating so it mostly looked like gibberish.
Mid-mumble, I feel a light tap on my shoulder and my flesh almost leaves my body. I gasp, clutching my chest in shock and then relax seeing Harley standing in front of me. "You put the wind up me." I laugh, running my hand through the back of my hair. It's been a while since I've had a haircut, I probably look like a wild animal right now. I make a mental note to book an appointment uptown.
"Whatcha' doin' there?" She sassily raises a naturally arched eyebrow at me and peers at me with her syrup-brown eyes. She was carrying her small lilac rucksack. She had DC badges all over it- Batman, The Flash, even the symbol for Kid Flash. She's dressed in an Orange vintage Sunkist T-shirt with faded blue mom jeans. She had her navy hoodie wrapped around her waist in case the weather changed and she got cold later. I look up at the sky and it is clearer than ever, there might be no need for that hoodie after all.
She has her hair tied back in a low bun as sleek as her thick Afro hair can get. Her beautiful brown skin was radiant in the early morning sun. I had the bagels in my free hand and she had the apples in hers. We've made this into a routine, even though she never actually eats the bagels and I rarely eat the apples- I'm not much of a fruits person unless it's grapes or those cherries she's got me hooked on. I guess it's the thought that counts.
She squints at me, waiting for me to answer her. I take a deep breath before quickly running through the words in my head.
"Hear my soul speak: The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service." I exult coolly, the words rolling off my tongue like butter.
Surprise registers on her face then a little smile plays on her lush lips. "The Tempest." She looks up at me earnestly through her eyelashes and I swear I felt my heart skip a few beats. "You remembered."
"Course I did, Pencils." The day of our detention, when we first hung out in school and she spoke about memorising all of Shakespeare's plays. I've never forgotten anything she tells me. I run and open the passenger door for her, feeling like the absolute gentlemen I was. She blushes, thanks me and tells me that I don't have to do that.
"Still won't stick!" She yells out the window about the nickname I gave her as I run around to the other side of the car and get in the driver's seat.
"Oh, I think it will." I chuckle as I start the car.
After a few minutes of driving, she turns to look at me whilst biting her lips. "I don't know if I should tell you this," She says, shutting her eyes in fake terror. My heart drops for a second thinking of all the things she could possibly want to say. After a brief pause, she hastily blurts out, "I hate bagels!"
I give her a sideways glance. "You're kidding, right?"
She shrugs her shoulders at me. "Sorry?"
"Are you some kind of monster? How can you hate bagels?" I chortle. Although, I kind of figured that bagels weren't her thing since I'd never actually seen her eat the ones I always brought her.
"I'm more of sweet than savoury kind of girl, I prefer Cinnamon buns." She moans in delight at the thought. "Bagels are too stiff."
"Cinnamon buns are good." I agree. I make another mental note of that in my head and shake my head. "Well, you sure are sweet, but you should've just told me, Pencils. I would've spent all my baking skills in some of them instead," I can feel her blush and giggle beside me and it makes my stomach melt just a little bit.
"No way did you actually make these bagels! I thought you just bought them from the Tesco Express." She looks at me incredulously in her seat. Her mouth forming an o and her eyebrows raise to her hairline. The hem of her orange t-shirt shifted slightly so I could see a slice of her toasted brown stomach as she sat up straighter in her seat. I nod at her with a proud grin on my face. "Parker, is there anything you can't do?"
I laugh. She'd be surprised if I told her what I struggled with the most. Except, it doesn't even seem that way when I'm with her.
We spent the rest of the journey laughing, joking and singing along to old Busted songs that we used to love when we were in primary school while she fed me pieces of ham and cream cheese bagel as I drove.
Close to 15 minutes later, Harley-Blair and I are finally standing outside of the school's huge front gates.
She turns and looks at me, sucking her bottom lip in like a little kid- a habit I noticed she always did when she was nervous.
"Are you gonna be okay today?" She asks. I know she's probably still worried about the whole Brett incident. I haven't been in school since Rose's picture was posted all over the place and I've tried my best to push it out of my mind and just move on. Harley was so sweet, she wants to make sure I was okay.
What Brett did, trying to humiliate my sister to get to me was a low blow and I refuse to get any lower than him.
"Because if you're not, even if it's just for a little bit we can skip another day and stay at yours." She reassures me. I smile at her and wonder where she'd been all my life. Crescent was never this caring or thoughtful as long as we looked good together, she didn't care how I felt.
I feel my heart bulge a little under my white button-down.
"I'll be fine," I say, not really believing myself. "But you're sweet for willing to get detention for me."
"Cinnamon bun sweet?" She pouts, jokingly.
"Cinnamon bun sweet." She playfully hits my arm.
Turning and looking towards the school entrance, she sighs deeply and lifts her camera case. "I have Photography."
"I have double Art." I raise my plastic homework folder then check my watch briefly. "I'll walk you to your class."
I begin to walk forward but she pulls me back. "You don't have to do that."
"Why not?" I chuckle under my breath. She avoids my eyes and shuffles her trainers on the floor. "You embarrassed to be seen with me or something?" I pass this off as a joke even though I was worried that she did actually feel this way.
"Of course not, it's more like the other way around," She mumbles under her breath so quiet that I almost didn't catch what she said.
"What?"
"I don't know," She avoids my eyes and begins to walk into the school. "Just forget it."
"No, wait, Harley." She stops, her back towards me. "I'm not embarrassed by you, why on earth would you even think that?"
The happy atmosphere from the car journey quickly dissipated the moment we stepped on the school property.
Why would she think I'd be embarrassed by her? And that thing she said yesterday about being friends with 'people like me'. What exactly did she think I was. Some kind of alien?
"Just drop it, Parker." She continues walking whilst I stand there silently willing for her to look over her shoulder just once.
She never does.
The whole of Art passes in a blur, even Miss McCarthy could sense that there was something wrong.
She comes over and glances at my easel. It was a shadow piece of a girl and a boy. It wasn't meant to be anyone in particular but I suppose it resembles me and HB if you look very closely.
Although, there were no facial features so you'd have to be searching hard to come up with that conclusion.
"What an interesting piece Parker, I wonder who your muse was." She winks at me mischievously. She has a habit of wanting to know all the gossip in all year groups. She was always eager to listen to the who's dating who and the tales of our out of school parties, so it was no surprise that she had taken an interest in Harley after seeing her with me that day.
"It could only be you, miss," flirting with teachers always made me laugh, they always get so flustered and happy.
She squeals like a schoolgirl and flicks her rusty brown hair. "Don't be silly, Parker." She tries to regain her authority as a teacher by putting on a stern voice but I know she was probably secretly hoping it was true. "Do you know what piece you're going to submit for your scholarship application?"
"I'm still not sure yet." I had been thinking about submitting the piece of Harley from my art attic but I wasn't sure how she'd feel about that.
"You better get sure, you only have a few months left to decide." She squeezes my shoulder supportively then walks off to help another student while I finish up.
Before I know it, it's break time. I had already agreed to meet with Zachy and Sander in a usually empty classroom so I didn't bother trying to meet up with Harley.
I am fully aware of all the stares and looks I'm getting in the corridor and I know it has something to do with the Brett/picture fiasco. No one has the bravery to actually come up to me and say something so I just ignore them.
Sometimes, that's the best thing to do.
Eventually, all this attention will blow over and they'll find something else to gossip about. They always do.
Carrying my ever heavy backpack and my Art portfolio folder, I barge into the vacant geography classroom. The room was littered with pencil sharpenings and empty chewing gum of the class before us. I shudder. The younger year groups could be so messy.
The large metal door bounces off the wall and practically smashes my nose in after I open it.
Frustrated and cradling my nose in pain, I slap my things down onto an empty table. Sander hadn't arrived yet so it was only me and Zachy. I'm still kind of pissed off at what Harley said earlier but I push it to the back of my mind; I don't want to be upset with her.
I bump fists with Zachy and ruffle his hair.
He hates when I do that.
"Y'alright lad?" I sigh, noticing the thick book sitting next to him on the table. "My eyes must be deceiving me, this can't be Zacchias Tovi - captain of the BHS swim team and dream-boy extraordinaire - reading?"
He chucks the book at me and I narrowly dodge it. "Woah, " I watch it hit the wall behind me.
"Go do one, mate." He's dressed in another one of his usual Nike tracksuits and has left his shaggy shoulder-length hair out of its hairband so it falls around his face. "It's meant to be Jasmin's favourite book, I'm trying to read it so maybe I can understand her more."
He picks up the book and begins pacing up and down the room searching for his dog eared page. "What's up with you?" He pauses, smoothing his forehead. "Why'd you come in attacking the door?"
I roll my eyes at him.
"Aww, does little Park-Park have girl problems?" He pouts, automatically jumping at any opportunity to take the mick out of me.
I scoff. "Says the one reading a book called the princess diaries."
I take out a packet of glacier cherries from my bag. I place them one by one in my mouth, savouring the sweet taste on my tongue. "So does that mean you guys are back together then?"
"No way!" he yelps without taking his eyes off the book. "She still insists that she hates me because of the whole Janet thing but I have every reason to hate her because of the whole Spencer thing." He says his name as if it's acid leaving his mouth and rubs the base of his chin where a little stubble was coming in. He could grow a full beard in like two days if he didn't shave it off every morning.
I almost choke on my cherries. "Spencer as in Spencer Lowe?"
I tried to imagine Jasmin and Spencer hooking up, just the thought of it makes me burst out laughing. It's like imagining Marilyn Manson and Penelope Cruz making out...ew.
Zacchias nods sadly. I can tell he's hurting but I also know that by the end of today, he and Jasmin would have kissed and made up and been back to normal. That's exactly the reason why I couldn't help but poke some fun out of him.
"No!" I burst out laughing again, clutching my aching stomach which equates to the book being thrown at me...again. I pick it up and flip through the pages absent-mindedly. "You can't possibly be serious? When did that happen? And why?" I shiver in disgust.
He shrugs, "I think like a couple of months ago, the last, last time we broke up."
We sit regarding each other in silence for a while with me desperately trying to hold in my laughter. "Do you think they did it in the dark?" I snigger. "They probably shared some eyeliner after."
Eventually, I calm down under Zachy's heated gaze, he's giving me the evilest of eyes.
"Do you really love her?" I question, giving the book back to him.
"Who? Janet? Not at all," he replies and looks at me as if I'm the insane one.
"No, I obviously meant Jasmin."
He stares at me, then looks away, swaying on his feet so slightly.
He sighs and turns to me, his hand stuffed in his pocket. I already know the answer. "Yeah, I do. I really do." His sad midnight blue eyes mirroring mine.
"Do you think she loves you back?" I ask, expectantly.
He shrugs. "I think so but if she does she sure has a funny way of showing it." He plops down on one of the chairs and begins rocking on it, his long legs balancing on the opposite table.
"So she likes you and you like her. Just be together. Why do you guys make being happy seem so bloody difficult!" I find myself shouting.
Zachy stares at me, bewildered. This sudden outburst of expression is totally out of character.
"What I'm trying to say is bro, if you really like her, let her know, don't keep her in the dark just because you're confused about your feelings. You know that's not fair." I croak, calming myself down. I have no idea why I was getting so worked up about this.
Zachy narrows his eyes at me just as Sander walks in.
"You're one to talk P," he folds his arms. "You don't even believe in love."
I fold my arms too and look away.
He was right, how can someone who doesn't even believe that love is real be giving him relationship advice. How hypocritical of me. Someone that hadn't even been in a relationship where each person loved one another. Someone that's never loved before.
Sander chuckles as he leaps onto one of the tables. He throws his sports bag on another. He's clearly in a good mood, he's probably just finished smooching Cassie Thomas in the hallway judging by the white foundation stuck to his face. "What kind of mothers meeting have I walked in on?"
"Parker doesn't believe in love but he's trying to school me on it," Zachy says rolling his eyes at me while continuously throwing the book high up in the air and catching in a swift move.
Sander laughs again, showing all of his perfectly straight white teeth, his dad was an orthodontist so he had braces on from the first sign of crookedness. "How can you not believe in love?"
I shrug. "Love's just not real."
How can love be real? Infatuation? Maybe. But love? Nope. Doesn't exist. If love was real then maybe the man who's meant to be a father would've never left, he would've stayed married to Mamma and he would have loved us. If love was real, he wouldn't have abandoned me.
If love was real then Crescent and I would've worked out.
Sander and Zachy both stare at me in disbelief.
"This is coming from the Romeo himself, eh?" Sander smirks. "Does your little Juliet know you feel this way?"
I pause. "She's just my friend," I think about Harley's statement in the car the other day.
You're a good friend, Parker.
"Yeah yeah, I see you guys before school all huddled up and giggling in your car." Zachy retorts, shaking his head. I feel my face go completely red. "Do all friends kiss each other on the cheek?" Then he starts pretending to kiss Sander to which they both find so hilarious.
"Whatever man," I pout, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.
"But for real, you need to talk to her about that," he and Sander share a look. "Before we get another Crescent Abrahams situation."
"Why does everyone keep bringing that up?" I ask, exasperated. I don't hear her name for the past year and then in a couple of weeks, I haven't been able to go a day without hearing it.
"Well, the last time we saw that look in your eyes it was with Crescent and we all know how that turned out," Sander makes a loop motion with his fingers at his temple, crossing his eyes.
"All we're saying is Harley-Blair seems like a nice girl," Zachy says, rubbing his hands together. "I don't want to see her get her feelings hurt, falling for a guy who doesn't even believe in love."
"She's not gonna fall for me," I shake my head, still remembering her 'friend' statement and the way she acted this morning.
Harley sees me as a friend, nothing more.
Sander scoffs and rolls his eyes at me. "Half the girls in school probably thought they wouldn't fall for you but look at them now." He theatrically collapses to the floor like a hysterical girl.
Now, it was my turn to throw the book.
Zachy cries of laughter, hitting his leg each time he took a breath. "Hey, I'm Parker, I love Spider-Man, thwip thwip thwip." He says mimicking me as I chase him around the room. "All the girls can't resist my undeniable charm." He flails his hands around his face and bats his long eyelashes dramatically.
"Yeah, and the other half are dying for a piece of Zacchias Tovi's luscious curly locks." I retort, pretending to be his gaggle of literal female worshippers. The one's Jasmins always batting away in the hallways.
We spend the rest of the break playing cards and avoiding talking about the Brett situation. I regard these guys as my brothers and I wouldn't change them for the world, no matter how annoying they get.
But the underlying thought that they were right was playing on my mind all day.
After the break was over and I was collecting the next lessons books from my locker, I wasn't surprised to hear my name on the overhead tannoy along with Brett Valesquez.
We had to report to the headteachers' office immediately for a meeting. I grunt and kick my locker in frustration only to look up and see Jasmin and Harley-Blair walking towards me. I nervously run my fingers through my hair and massage my scalp. At first look, Harley looks completely terrified but once she catches my eye her expression softens.
Harley smiles at me gingerly, her bottom lip hidden beneath her almost perfect white teeth while Jasmin tugs at her arm like an over-eager child. God, that girl was annoying. I couldn't help but snicker again at the fact that at one point she was probably tongue deep in Spencer Lowe's mouth. I will never let that go.
Harley yawns while rolling her eyes exaggeratedly at me. She mouths, "Save me, " sarcastically when Jasmin isn't looking.
Laughing, I shrug my shoulders at her. There was nothing I could do, once Jasmin was on a mission there was no stopping her and it just so happens that Harley was her mission for today. Jasmin was probably taking her on what she calls a 'friendship ride'.
Whenever she gets a new friend or conquest she decides to fill them in on every single relationship she's been in and all the inside info on the tumultuous love story that is Zachy and Jasmin.
"Wish I could," I find myself mouthing back.
Jasmin spots me and instantly waves, her cat-like eyes piercing through mine wickedly. To be honest, she was always kind of scary to me because you can never guess what she's thinking. I wave and quickly dodge past them to make my way to the school office.
Beaumont sixth form is known to be the most indecisively strict school in the area. Sometimes, they'd exclude you for the silliest things and other times they'd let you put pictures of someone's disabled sister across the whole school and get away with it.
I arrive and Mrs Innis gestures for me to sit on the road indelibly sticky waiting room chairs outside of the headteacher's office. She informs me that Brett is already in there and that my turn is after him.
Around 10 minutes of staring at my phone and almost choking on the scent of juicy fruit chewing gum and the cheap cologne of the year 9 sat beside me, Brett storms out of the room, face red and fists balled up.
Hmm, maybe he didn't get away with it after all. I smirk at him.
"Count your fucking days." He hisses at me, brimming with hostility. "Expelled, I am."
"Luckily for you, I can't count. Now, fuck off unless you want another bloody nose." I snarl behind gritted teeth. He couldn't honestly blame me for the consequences of his own actions.
Brett comes up so close to my face, I could count all the clogged pores on his big fat chunky face. "I'd like to see you try, dickhead." His saliva slaps across my cheek and I had to fight the urge to throw up in his face.
To be honest, I probably couldn't take him on but inside of this scrawny body is a not so clever mind and this not so clever mind is telling me to knock him out clean. What he did to my sister is unforgivable. Putting a picture of her that he stole from mamma's Facebook page and plastering it across the school as if Rose was some circus freak waiting to be made fun of. He deserved to be more than expelled. No amount of expulsions could make up for attempting to publicly humiliate a helpless being.
The next thing I know, Mrs Innis who had been hovering a safe distance nearby was now standing in-between us attempting to stop another fight from happening. She orders him to get off school premises immediately before she calls the police. He eyeballs me as he leaves and I smile.
"Fuck you, " I mouth, giving him the finger.
The meeting with the headteacher is the same old same old. I get told off and given another warning. He gives me special consideration seeing as I'm the best art student currently in the school and they're riding on me to be the student who gets a scholarship to Accademia di Belle Arti di Firenze in Italy. I apologise and vow to never do it again and leave.
The rest of the school day was irrelevant to me. I still couldn't get Harley-Blair off my mind.
An unnerving feeling fills my body, this isn't how you're supposed to feel about your friend.
Is it?
A/N- sorry guys I know this chapter was pretty long >_<
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