"I'm Will's cousin." He whispers.
Have you ever felt like someone stabbed a knife through your heart? That's exactly how I feel right now.
The blood drains from my face as I stare at Kyle with wide eyes, wanting him to deny whatever he just said. I want him to laugh and say, 'got you, I was kidding', even though I would kill him slowly and painfully later for his awful joke. But of course, I'm not so lucky. He keeps staring at the ground and plucks the grass in front of him.
"Tell me you're joking." I choke out.
"I'm not. I wouldn’t joke about this, Avery." He says, looking at me with so much sadness in his eyes.
"H- How? I know all of his cousins."
"You know the ones who live in Sea Crest. My family moved here when I was two." Kyle explains.
I laugh humorlessly as more tears fall from my eyes. "I came here to get away from everything, and ended up being friends with one of his cousins." I pause. "Wow."
"I've never liked him." He says, looking at me with sincerity in his eyes. "He was the bad boy in our family. He used to smoke, drink, and party all the time. Every time I met him, I would see a different girl on his arm. I've never liked those things. He tried to rope me in some of his shit, but I always stayed away. I hardly attend any family functions so you never saw me around the town.” Kyle starts to explain.
"But of course gossip travels fast, so my family did find out about you. Hell, even your picture traveled with that gossip. When I first saw you in Mr. Cole's class, I knew I saw you somewhere, but I wasn't sure where, so I never said anything. By lunchtime, I recognized you, but I didn't want to scare you away so I thought I would maintain distance and stay away from you.” He carries on with a breath in between.
"But then I saw you again in the parking lot. You were stuck with your car and I was feeling guilty about what happened to you because even though I maintain no connection with Will, he is still my cousin and what happened with you was totally and utterly wrong. I guess I just wanted to help you in some way and take this guilt off of my chest. So I introduced you to my friends, tried to give you every normal thing I could because I was aware of the kind of life you were living back in Sea crest.” He says with a small smile.
"All the times I tried to get you away from Roman, I warned you because I knew everything, and I knew he could dig around your past very easily. He has money and sources, it will take him just fifteen minutes to reach the truth, but you never listened. I feel like I should've forced you to listen to me."
He looks so sincere and honest that the feeling of betrayal immediately vanishes. Yeah, he should've told me before that he knew everything. He shouldn't have kept me in the dark, but I guess he was protecting me in his own way. And this is what I wanted right? A friend who knows my past and still chooses to stay beside me.
Kyle is the friend I have always wanted and the brother I never had. Circumstances like these tell you who's real and who's fake, who wants to stay with you, and who doesn't. And at this moment, I'm so grateful to God and the circumstances which led me to be friends with him, because honestly, one real friend is equal to the thousands of fake ones.
I gaze at him and he looks so torn and guilty, blaming everything on himself that I just can't help but let a small smile creep on my face even in this bizarre situation. No matter what, I'm a hundred percent sure that he'll always have my back.
"Thank you," I whisper.
He looks at me, confused.
"Because even though you hardly knew me, you did all those things for me. You tried to protect me and I underestimated you every time. I'm sorry, but thank you so much for being the kind of friend I've always wanted." I say.
His eyes soften as he takes my small hands in his big ones. "I'll always be there for you no matter what. I don't turn my back on my friends when they need me the most."
My eyes tear up again, but this time, they are happy tears and in the heat of the moment I do something I thought I'd ever do.
I move forward and hug him.
I thought a guy's touch would creep me out, but here I am pushing my own boundaries because moments like these are meant to be appreciated, and trust me, I know how special and rare these small moments are.
He hugs me back tightly and I move back after a few seconds. I rise and start dusting my skirt, Kyle rises too. "Back to school?"
"No, I'm going home, you can go back and collect whatever homework we get."
"But why are you going home? If this is about Roman and his shit, I swear I won't let him come near you ever again..." He starts saying as his anger comes back full force and he clenches his jaw.
"It's not about that." I cut in, "I mean it is about that." I take a breath. "It's just that I need to stay away for a bit, and home is the only safe sanctuary I have right now. My mom will still be at home since she doesn't leave before ten, so you don't have to worry about anything. I just need some time to get over everything, you know."
He sighs. "Okay, but if you need me or any of our friends just call us okay? They will be worrying about you, too."
"Yeah, thank you."
He walks me back to my car and I get inside, buckle myself up and drive home.
* * *
The familiar smell hits my nostrils as soon as I enter the home and it automatically brings a small smile to my face and lightens my mood a bit.
I make my way to the kitchen and there it is, the love of my life, the one who never lets me down, the one who melts my heart, and the one who's got me wrapped around itself; my favorite double chocolate peanut butter cookies.
I squeal like a little girl when I see my mom taking out the first batch from the oven. My mom's head snaps towards me and she jerks back a little. Oof, I think I scared her.
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?" She asks as she places the tray on the counter and narrows her eyes at me.
My mood immediately drops back. I lower my eyes and try to be vague about it. "I wasn't feeling well, so I thought I would come back."
"Why aren't you feeling well?" She asks, rushing towards me and placing her hand on my forehead to check my temperature.
"It's nothing, just a bit dizzy and nothing else," I say, removing her hand from my head.
She looks at me, a sense of worry flooding her eyes before they soften. "Did something happen at school? Because I can tell something did."
I lower my eyes and nod. I've kept all those pranks and everything away from her, but after what happened today and then Kyle's revelation, I can't keep it to myself anymore. My mom has always been there for me and I've always shared everything with her. I can't keep anything to myself anymore, I need to tell her.
She leads me to the living room and we both sit on the couch and I immediately dive into the story, telling her everything from the start while she sits there and listens patiently.
* * *
I sit in my bed, binge-watching Netflix while eating cookies.
My mom and I spoke, and while she was happy with what Kyle said, she was a bit irked by Roman's approach, but she made me understand that I won't be able to move on with the fear of people knowing my past. If it gets out, then I can't do anything but just deal with it.
It isn't a small town like Sea Crest, it's a big ass city and people will talk about it till they get the next interesting gossip. So I just have to stop worrying and start living my life, and I totally and wholeheartedly agree with her.
"Embrace the real you, Avery. Embrace your past and turn it into the kind of future nobody ever thought you could have." Mom's voice rings in my head.
So here I am, trying to get over it while eating my favorite cookies. My mom is still downstairs but she's going to leave in fifteen minutes.
I'm trying to find a nice web series when I hear the doorbell ring.
Huh? Who's here so early?
We just moved so it's not like we know a lot of people here.
"Avery, Roman is here. I'm sending him up." My mom calls out and I immediately stiffen.
What the fuck? What the fuck is he doing here?
I sit up straight and wait for him to come into my room, but he takes too long. Hmm, mom is definitely grilling him about everything downstairs. I smirk, that son of bitch deserves it.
It takes him ten minutes to make his way to my room, but finally, after ten minutes, I hear him knocking on my door.
"Come in," I call.
He peeks his head in first, finds me sitting on my bed, then opens the door and comes inside and... Is that a guitar hanging from his back?
Why the fuck is he carrying a guitar?
Never mind, I'll never understand the guy.
He stares at me with a lost expression on his face, as I raise a brow at him. He looks around, noticing the chair near my desk and brings it into the middle of the room, and starts lowering himself onto the chair before suddenly standing up straight again.
"Can I sit?" He asks, pointing toward the chair.
I motion for him to sit with my hand.
"So I- Iwantedtoapologize." He says it so fast that I almost miss it.
"What?" Even though I had heard it perfectly I can't let him get away that easily now, can I?
"I wanted to apologize." He repeats slowly and sighs.
"What do you want to apologize for? According to you, we're even now." I reply bitterly.
"I want to end this prank shit, Angel. I'm sorry, I really am. It's just that, you broke my car's window and I snapped. That car was the last gift I received from my grandfather and you unknowingly hurt my feelings a bit there, so I wanted to make you feel the same. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have mocked you by pasting that picture on your locker," he says softly, and I feel the guilt rising. I know I shouldn't have done that, but forgiving him isn't easy either.
"I don't think I can forgive you like that, you hurt me more than you even realize. I don't think you know what that picture even means to me." I whisper, feeling hurt all over again. The truth about that picture is more complicated than he could ever realize.
I don't think people think twice before hurting somebody, but it is hard for the one who gets hurt.
I might seem happy and carefree outside, but inside I feel like I'm trapped. Trapped in my past, prisoner of my own pain. I am broken, but I don't know how to pick up the pieces. I am in the dark, and I don't know how to find the light.
I smile and laugh and it no longer sounds hollow because I've practiced the art of masking my sorrow. My life is fine, so why does it still hurt so much? I wish I could forget everything. Forget all the hurt and pain, all the tears and shame. But the memories are wrapped around my heart, squeezing it tightly making me a prisoner of despair.
I look at Roman and my heart squeezes. I wish I could tell him about the memories he has stirred up, the pain he has brought back. Maybe then he would understand why I am so hurt?
He opens his mouth to say something but then shuts his mouth and pulls his guitar to the front and starts strumming.
And then he does something no guy has ever done for me and which is the least expected from the cocky arrogant Roman James.
He.
Starts.
Singing.
"You gotta go and get angry at all of my honesty
You know I try but I don't do too well with apologies
I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call a referee?
'Cause I just need one more shot at forgiveness
I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice
And by once or twice I mean maybe a couple of hundred times
So let me, oh let me redeem, oh redeem, oh, myself tonight
'Cause I just need one more shot at second chances
Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?
'Cause I'm missin’ more than just your body
Oh, is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?"
Oh My God!
Roman James can sing and apparently he can sing way too well.
His eyes are closed, his fingers strumming the strings of the guitar, so in the moment as my heart does that silly flip flop thing.
Shit shit shit, stay still my heart. Don't be happy, don't be happy!
My heart is fucking blooming right now. I just can't take my eyes off of him. He looks like an angel sitting there singing his heart out.
"I'll take every single piece of the blame if you want me to
But you know that there is no innocent one in this game for two
I'll go, I'll go and then you go, you go out and spill the truth
Can we both say the words and forget this?
Yeah, is it too late now to say sorry?
'Cause I'm missing more than just your body
Oh, is it too late now to say sorry?
Yeah, I know that I let you down
Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?"
He ends the song with a few notes lingering in the air, before putting his guitar down on the floor and looking up at me sheepishly.
"I know not every single line matches our situation, but almost all of them do, and I suck at apologizing, so I thought this could help me earn your forgiveness." He apologizes again.
I keep staring at him for a few seconds and then realize that he said something.
"I didn't know you could sing and play so well."
I'm amazed that I'm not choking on my words right now considering how fast my heart is beating.
"Well you would've had to get to know me first for that, and for that, we need to be friends, so, um, can we be friends?" He asks with a smile at me, an actual smile. No cocky smirk this time but a real and genuine smile.
But being friends with him would mean that I had to enter a dangerous territory which I am not ready for. Forgiveness? Yeah. Friends? No, that's way too much and I'm still not over the picture prank.
This is the best kind of apology I've ever received, but I'm not at all ready to be his friend right now. I need a bit of time to get over everything, it's all way too much for my poor brain and heart.
"I forgive you, I really do, but I can't be friends with you."
His brow furrows and it looks like he's ready to argue but I cut him off.
"Look I just need a bit of time to cool off okay? I'm not ready to be friends with you right now. It's too much for me. Please understand." I say, looking directly into his eyes to let him know that I'm really not ready.
Hurt flashes across his eyes but he wisely keeps his mouth shut and nods. He gets up, picks up his guitar, and starts heading out of my room.
I follow him downstairs to show him outside. He opens the gate but turns back to look at me.
"Thank you for forgiving me, though." He says with a small smile, then turns around and heads outside.
I close the door and lean my head on it. Thinking about my decision. Should I have agreed to be his friend?
"You okay?" My mom asks behind me, turning around I find her watching me.
I look at the clock and it's 10.05 a.m.
"Don't you have to leave? You'll be late."
"Didn't want you to leave alone with him. I'll go now, lock the door behind me but remember I'm always here for you little bear." She speaks as she touches my cheek.
That name always brings a smile to my face.
"I know mom. I love you," I say as I hug her.
"I love you too, little bear. And that boy can sing really well." She says, hugging me back, before winking at me and then leaves me alone with my thoughts scattered all over.
Guess I will have to figure it out alone, but my cookies are always there for me.
So I finally updated lmao! Istg I can never stick with a schedule. Anyway, did y'all like this chapter?
Tap that star to make me smile <3
Teaser - A birthday cake!
Until the next time
Happy reading
Kiara🥀