~After all you put me through, don't say it wasn't true, that you were not the monster that I knew~
(I'm sorry I have a lot of pics of Connor, okay? He's my dark strange son-)
T.W: Talk of family problems, mention of suicide attempt and self-harm
Connor stirred, eyes opening as he shot up.
"Morning sleeping beauty," Jared smirked.
The emo boi yelped, nearly falling off the bed.
"Jesus fuck Jared, what the hell?!" he yelled, the cronch boi keening over with laughs and snorts.
Connor couldn't help but smile at that.
"You should've seen your face! Oh my god-"
"Har har, laugh it up. I'm sorry that my reaction was completely rational."
"Ah," he sighed with a wheeze. "Keep telling yourself that."
"Fuck you."
"You wish."
Connor's eyes widened and he looked down as he fought back a blush. "Geek," he mumbled.
"Emo."
"Hah. Jokes on you, I actually like that label."
"And I like the label geek, so we're even."
"Goddammit," Connor grunted.
Jared, still quietly snickering, stood up and walked over to sit next to Connor on the bed.
"So you stayed overnight?" Connor asked.
"Yup. Accidentally fell asleep," Jared snorted. "How are you doing?"
"Well... I was basically rejected by my family, I'm in the hospital and I just attempted suicide. Again," he whispered the last bit, but Jared heard.
He really wished he didn't, though.
"So I'm just peachy," Connor finished.
"The... thoughts getting to be too much, right?"
Connor's head perked up at the question, looking off to the side again with a nod.
"You got a spare ponytail?" Jared asked.
That made the other very confused, but he nodded and held out his forearm, revealing a black ponytail on his wrist.
What terrified Jared is that Connor wouldn't show the underside of his arm. He crossed his arms before he could reach out and see make Connor let him see the cuts, clenching his jaw. The thing is he knew they were there, he just couldn't see them. And that was very nerve-wracking.
"Snap it," the meme teen instructed.
"What?"
"You heard me. Snap it against your wrist."
Connor hesitantly did so, wincing slightly.
"Do that whenever your thoughts get too overbearing or if you ever want to... hurt yourself. You can always hang out with me, too. To make sure you don't do anything."
"Jared..." Connor mumbled, looking up at him. "Thank you."
"Of course. Don't mention it," he smiled. "Come on. You're good to go, so..." he trailed off, standing up and grabbing his keys.
"But you're car..."
"My bro dropped it off."
"You have a brother?"
"Yeah. Two. One in college and another who's a freshman. You didn't know?"
"No. You never told me. Your parents...?"
"Are never home," he shrugged. "I seriously never told you about my home life?"
"No," Connor chuckled. "Just..." he trailed off, starting to get out of bed. "Where are my shoes? And my jacket?"
"Here's your jacket," Jared answered, chucking it at him. "And your shoes are literally right by your bed," he snorted.
Connor flushed slightly, tugging his jacket on.
"Shut up," he grumbled, putting his shoes on once he saw them.
Jared chuckled, shaking his head and opening the door.
"Let's go then, emo."
"Alright, geek," Connor smirked.
They walked out, Connor's parents already giving permission for the emo boi to leave from yesterday. Jared saluted to the front desk with a cocky smile, knowing how much they hated him. Connor smiled weakly at that, shaking his head and walking out of the hospital eagerly.
Jared caught up with him, fiddling with his car keys and walking to his SUV and climbing into the driver's seat.
"Alright. Hop in, dork."
"Dork?" Connor scoffed, going into the passenger's seat. "If anyone's the dork, it's you, Jare."
There was silence for a second, and the meme teen looked at Connor with a smirk as the other flushed.
"-Ed. Jared. That's what I said."
"No no no, you totally just gave me a nickname!"
"Shush. No I didn't."
"I like it. 'Jare.' That's great," he laughed. "Wait. You need one!"
"A nickname?"
"Yeah! Okay, okay. What about Con?"
"Y'know what? Fine. It makes me sound like a bad guy," he snickered, biting back a blush.
"You're right. That doesn't fit at all," Jared teased, starting the car.
"Ugh, Jared-"
"What about Connie?"
Connor's breathing hitched, face going beet red.
"Jared, I swear to god if you start calling me-"
"Connie it is!"
~~~
After a painfully teasing drive, Jared pulled up and parked at the front of Connor's house. Connor blinked, clenching his jaw as he tried to hide his obvious dread to go back into that hellhole.
"Go inside and pack your things, alright?"
Connor's head perked up, and he looked at Jared in surprise.
"W-what?"
"You heard me. Go pack your stuff. Just some necessities, yeah? You're gonna stay with me for a bit."
Connor's eyes widened, shaking his head.
"Jare you can't just have me stay with you. What about your brothers? And your parents?" he asked.
"My family doesn't give a shit. Besides. I told you before, my parents are never home. They're always on business trips or desperately trying to get away from us. As for sleep, you can just take the couch or the floor of my room."
"I don't wanna be a burden. That's a lot on your plate, Jared."
"It's either that or you stay with your family. What's it gonna be?"
Connor froze, gulping and fiddling with his jacket sleeves.
"Go pack, Connie."
Connor blushed, letting out a deep breath before nodding.
"You want me to come in with you?"
"No. No, I need to do this Jare. Thank you, though," he smiled, climbing out of the car. "If I'm not back out in... 15 minutes? Can you come in after me?"
"Yeah. Yeah, of course."
"Thanks. I'll... I'll be back in a bit."
Connor closed the car door, quickly waving to Jared with a small smile and stepping to the front door. Without knocking, he opened it and walked in while fighting a glance back at the meme teen. He tried to make sure he closed the door without being detected; it worked.
Connor honestly wished he could say he was surprised.
He ran upstairs and to his room silently, closing the door. He grabbed his duffle bag from his closet, stuffing it with all the clothes he could fit. He also had a backpack from freshman year before he found his love for bookbags, and stuffed it with other necessities. Ponytails, hairbrush, art stuff. But he also threw in the remnants of his weed stash and some savings he's been pulling together for a while for situations just like this one. Being a part of a rich family did have its benefits. Benefits Connor would never admit to, though.
Then it came to his bracelets.
Connor wears his bracelets all the time. The only time he takes them off is right before bed, and no one ever sees him then. People always saw them as just 'angsty jewelry' or 'his thing.' But no. Connor saw them as confinement.
He loves his bracelets; thought they added a nice touch to his whole emo look. But after a while, he realized he really only wore them as an extra-precaution just in case his sleeves rolled up. So next thing he knew he only saw them as a constant reminder to hide himself. A sign that this was all his burden to carry, and he can't let someone else help; he can't be vulnerable.
So why isn't he wearing them right now? Or throwing them into his bag? Because of Jared. He never opened up to anyone before like he did with him. He didn't even have to think. Connor would just... talk. Because with Jared he felt seen, but not vulnerable.
So just like he did yesterday morning, he decided not to wear them in a heartbeat; let alone pack them. His rings though... those were a different story. Connor absolutely adored his rings.
He zipped up the backpack but froze when he heard the creak of his door opening. A quiet but confident voice spoke up, making Connor wince.
"So that's it? You're just... running away?"
"No, Zoe," Connor sighed, back still turned to her and planning to keep it that way until she left. "I mean... yes? I'm staying with Jared for a bit."
"Okay... when will you be back?"
"I don't know."
He could hear Zoe tapping her fingers against her leg, it was that quiet.
"What about mom and dad? They'll worry."
"If they even ask where I am, you tell them the truth, and they worry? I'll... probably die from shock."
Silence.
It's always silence with Zoe. Why would she speak up now? There's never support or defense from her. Parents fighting with or yelling at him. When he obviously is having a bad day. When he just needs something from her, it's silence. So why was he expecting something from her now? She was always Connor's last resort. A bad one, but his mind always went to her for help. He just wants her to make the first move. For once.
"I'll worry."
That made Connor turn around instantly.
"W-what?"
"I'll worry about you, Connor. Hell, I am worried about you. And it's pissing me off because I don't know why."
"That's... reassuring," Connor muttered.
"I'm serious, Connor! I just... I don't want you to end up getting addicted to drugs, or kill yourself. I may hate you at times, but you're still my brother."
Connor scoffed, shaking his head.
"Look, Zoe. I'm more likely to do those things here than with Jared. Mom and dad don't know how to help me, and even though you wouldn't help me even if you did, you don't know either."
"Connor-"
"Jared is what's keeping me stable and happy right now, so I think that maybe I should be with him. Am I wrong?"
Zoe smirked.
"I fucking knew you weren't straight."
Connor's eyes widened and he threw on his backpack.
"Excuse me?"
"Don't you date try to deny it, but you like him, don't you?"
"U-uh, well-"
"Knew it. Look. If he's what's keeping you alive right now then go with him," she muttered. "I just... I don't want to be alone with mom and dad."
"It... it will be better once I'm gone. Just have friends over, sleepovers, whatever. You won't be alone," Connor replied, grabbing his duffle bag.
Zoe nodded, letting out a small sigh and stepping aside.
"Okay, sounds good. T-thanks."
"Yeah," he nodded, walking downstairs.
"Oh, and Connor?"
"Mhm?" he asked, turning back to her.
"I haven't forgiven you yet. But I'm trying," she smiled.
Connor's face fell.
Of course.
He finally gets a nice moment with Zoe, and it's ruined. Because no matter what, he'll always remember that Zoe hates him.
"T-thanks, Zoe," he smiled. Fake.
"Yeah. I'll see you around?"
"Yup. Bye, Zo."
"Bye, Connor."
And with that, he left. Practically running out the door. He walked to Jared's car, throwing his stuff in the back and jumping in the front again.
"So..." Jared muttered. "Didn't go well?"
"Well... it wasn't too bad. But it definitely wasn't good, either."
"Zoe?" Jared asked.
"Zoe."
"Knew it. I'm sorry, Connie."
"It's fine, really. I just..."
"It's not, though. She should really be treating you better. You don't deserve-"
"I do deserve it, though."
"No, you-"
"Jare, look. As much as I appreciate it, I really just want to go home and sleep, okay? I'm tired, and fucking done with today."
Jared sighed, driving off.
"Alright, Connor."
1958 Words