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LOST IN THE DEEP END
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"Are you still having nightmares, Miss Barnes?"
It took seconds before she pulled herself back from spacing out, staring aimlessly at the huge window panels of the room. "I'm sorry, what was it?"
"Any nightmares this week?" Doctor Alice repeated the question.
"Just the usual ones...," Czarina trailed off with a half lie. Six months ago, who would have thought the girl would be sitting in the doctor's office, finally speaking and responding instead of just stoically staring outside the window for a full one hour. Where she is now is much better than how she started.
"Usual ones? Like what?" The woman asked, sounding more concerned than just interested.
Czarina is beyond grateful for all help the doctor has given her since she became her court assigned therapist. There were already two before the woman, who both quit on their posts after a few weeks with the ex-HYDRA agent who prefers to talk in phrases than to speak properly. Everything about the doctor is what a person that's on their way to recovery would need. She is patient almost all the time, she respects the border Czarina had set, hell she even treats her as an adult. Unlike most people around the girl who knows who she is. She had enough of being seen as a naive and scared child that doesn't have her own mind.
"HYDRA. Red Room. The Fall of Triskelion." She enumerated. "Usual ones."
It was all good with Doctor Alice, really, but the nightmares talk. That part of the session is the one thing the girl wishes she can avoid. Despite being told that talking and sharing about it will lessen the frequent dreams, it seems like it only gets worse every time she tells the truth.
"Okay." The doctor simply nodded, opening a leather bound notebook and scribbling quickly on it. "Let's talk about this trip you're going to in your semester break."
"Oh...," A pang of relief washed over her as the talk swayed into a topic the girl would be more comfortable talking about. "It's this family vacation Hazel invited me in. We're going to Florida in the next two weeks."
"Oh yeah, Hazel," the doctor replied with a fond smile. "She invited you a lot of times for dinner too, right?"
"Yeah. But I didn't go to any."
"But you're now going out with her family on an out of town vacation," Doctor Alice spoke enthusiastically. "This is a great start for you in meeting new people!"
"I wish that's how easy it is Doc," Czarina lowered her eyes from the woman. Being out there with people or around the crowd is easy. She would just go out and put on a friendly smile, have a short banter with unfortunate acquaintances, and talk a little. And that's it. But avoiding feeling disconnected with the rest of the world is difficult, especially these days. As horrible as it may sound, it's almost like she's only going on the trip in the hopes it would ease the overwhelming feeling on her chest. Something that feels entirely awful given how much Hazel had done for her to feel better.
"What is it?"
"It's just...," Czarina exhaled sharply. "Last month I've been doing alright already and all of the sudden these past few weeks I feel like all our work is just gone, I'm back on the same square again."
"Czarina, look at me." Feeling ashamed of herself the blonde sheepishly met the doctor's gaze. Instead of receiving a pair of cold, unwelcoming stares, warmth surfaced from Doctor Alice's brown eyes.
"Healing isn't linear," the woman began. "Some days you will feel better than ever, some days everything feels suffocating. But it doesn't mean you're not trying. You've been through so much, things won't just go away that quick. But you are trying. I've seen it."
Czarina bit her lower lip, letting out a subtle cry that she has been holding back. "But I'm back on the same point where we started, Doc."
"No, you're not." She reassured me. "And even if you're, I'm here to help you get back to the point where you feel the best and strong enough. That's what we talked about, right?"
Hearing those words made the girl blink away more tears as she lightly nodded her head at the doctor for a reply. "I'm plenty of work, Doc." Czarina sniffled with a light laughter.
"Well, we both are."
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Friday nights must be one of Czarina's favourite things to do involving the campus, it's just her and Ally eating some Chinese food for dinner while watching shows together but something about it is so comforting. Perhaps it's the feeling that the week is over and she finally has more time for herself.
"Ah, that's the stuff." Ally exhaled deeply as she sat down flat on their floor mat beside Czarina, placing the laptop in front of them.
"I'm gonna miss pajama Fridays." The blonde admitted with a half smile. Having Ally as a roommate in her freshman year is an unexpected luck to consider. Since both of them are not as sociable as most students in their school, the two bonded over with the reclusive routine on a daily basis. Something Czarina is thankful for as the high maintenance lifestyle a typical college student should have feels overwhelming for her
"God, same. And I'm gonna miss you too!" She groaned. As her friend was about to play the show they were supposed to watch, another tab slid off the screen. Showing a video footage of what's like a riot with a violent crowd.
"Oh, I-uh I was looking at it awhile ago." Ally explained, closing the tab with a subtle embarrassed look on her face. "It's just news."
"That looks... rough, what was that about?" Czarina asked.
"It's footage from another Flag Smashers attack on a city in Japan."
Curiosity began filling up the girl, it was the first time she's hearing about the whole thing. Ever since she came back she hasn't been interested in knowing any groups or organisations on Earth. She has a bad record when it comes to those.
"Flag Smashers?" The girl furrowed her brows in confusion.
"It's your first time hearing about this?"
"Hell, yeah. I don't even have a single idea about them."
Ally took a deep breath, pulling the laptop closer to Czarina. "From what I've read it's a group that formed during the five year gap. A lot of sources say that they want things to get back the way they were after the Blip."
Czarina's chest hammered loudly on the mention of the snap. Her mind loses focus on the moment she's in. Until now she still feels the same wave panic that consumed her that day as she watched herself turn to dust while her mother desperately clung upon what's left of the girl.
"And they are attacking places because of that?" She swallowed in discomfort. Why would they even want that? As far as she knows the Snap brought nothing good and the Avengers had to lose so much just so they could bring everyone who was gone.
"Yeah, pretty much." Ally nodded. "They kind of started as just a small group but it's been growing larger and more violent ever since half of the planet came back."
"Are these on the news? I don't think I have seen it." Czarina squinted her eyes at the blurry pictures attached to the news article shown on screen.
"They are but not that big of a news. But they're certainly making a name lately."
As the girl scrolled down the essay, long articles and news about recent activities of the organisation, a certain picture of a Flag Smasher member caught her attention.
"What's this?" She questioned and pointed at the familiar insignia etched at the left chest of the masked man.
"Oh yeah. I was looking at it too yesterday," Ally clicked at the photo and zoomed it in for a clearer look. "I thought I was just tripping but others saw it too!"
Czarina can feel her breath shortening, it's impossible he's been gone for years. How could he be associated in this group? "See what too?"
"It's the Wolf Spider symbol!" Her friend exclaimed. "I know you're not into the whole Avengers thing but you're familiar with Wolf Spider, right? Levi Romanoff?"
"Yeah...," She nodded lightly, biting her tongue back in an attempt not to slip any sign of wavering emotion on the mention of the boy.
"Well, a lot of people have been saying some members of the Flag Smashers are carrying his symbol. They have an official sign but the Wolf symbol is everywhere in their group." The dark haired started with quite a distaste on her tone.
"Does he have to do anything with this?" Czarina could only wish Ally wouldn't realise her sudden interest in this kind of stuff, considering how dismissive she was of the past attempts of her friend to talk about the Avengers.
"Well, not really, since you know... he was gone before all of this. But some conspiracies say it's because they believe if he was alive right now, he would support the cause."
"Oh...,"
"If you want to read about it I can send you the articles I read." Ally offered.
"No no. I'm not really interested," Czarina waved her hand in dismissal. "I just thought it was something really big. You know it's getting late, we should start the movie."
"Oh, yeah yeah you're right. We can talk about this another time." The girl declared, turning back her attention at the film they were supposed to watch. She tried the best to keep her attention focused on the screen yet it didn't take long for the rambling thoughts to occupy Czarina's mind. None of it makes sense, how can Levi be associated with such a group? Besides the reason he's been dead for years during the five year gap, it's impossible for him to join an extremist organisation.
No, that's wrong. The logo must be only an identical one and her brother has nothing to do with them. It took him long to believe in the Avengers' cause and eventually be part of it, joining the so-called Flag Smashers is against everything he stood for and believed in. She knew him. He's her brother.
Do you? An intrusive thought challenged.
She hasn't felt the sudden urge to scream endlessly for a long time. But the moment felt like it was the right time to have one. This was supposed to be a fun night for them, god's curse for being too curious and imposing on the subject. Now she knows too much and everything feels way worse than before.
"You're not having ice cream?" Ally raises a brow at Czarina as she immediately climbs back at the bunk after the movie instead of heading to the kitchen.
"No, I'm actually kind of sleepy now and I already washed up." She answered sparingly.
"Okay. Good night though, I'll see you in the morning."
"Yeah. You too, Al!" The blonde shouted back.
Sleep didn't come easy for the girl that night. After Ally had turned off the lights and went to her own bed. Czarina was left wide awake under the covers with rummaging thoughts as she went through the whole thing over and over in her head. Finally she decided to get out of the bed and surf through the net for further information about the Flag Smashers and it's possible connection to Avengers' Wolf Spider.
The search results didn't fail to cause soft gasps from the girl, she had to hold herself for a minute before continuing to scroll through the tabs.
Flag Smashers: A revolutionary group or a violent faction?
Extremists of the new century
How the Blip created the newest threat of terrorism
Are Flag Smashers a hidden legacy of the Great Wolf Spider?
Clicking at the last suggested article, an image of Levi stamped with a FOUNDER or NOT letters quickly appeared at the header. Ever since she got back the girl has barely looked at or read anything related to the Avengers, the Snap or her dead mother and brother. The idea of only knowing anything about them through obituaries and memoriams felt unbearable to her. Everything talks about them in a commemorative manner and that alone pains her.
Yet her she is now, reading a conspiracy article about her brother's association to a known terrorist group.
Are Flag Smashers a hidden legacy of the Great Wolf Spider?
Published four days
ago on the Weekly Forum site.
The sudden rise of the radical group called Flag Smashers has brought numerous theories regarding it's creation, from being a hidden HYDRA faction to an anti Avengers movement. But the strangest and least expected among is the group's connection to the former member of the Avengers, Levi Romanoff
More than two years had gone by since the tragic death of the infamous Wolf Spider due to an unknown sickness that was never disclosed to the public. Even after the dissolution of the Avengers the reason behind his mysterious death still remains a secret. Some may say it's not a surprise that the boy and his closest peers decided to keep the matters to themselves, as Romanoff was well known to be a very private and secretive person. To this day little is known about his personal life despite being a public figure for almost a decade since his first record appearance in the Battle of New York.
But others seem to have a different opinion regarding the secrecy surrounding the infamous hero's death. Recently, only a few months after the second Snap and the return of half of the universe, an extremist group known in the name as "Flag Smashers" began their radical movement of bringing back things to how it was during the past five years. Something that is obviously only convenient to the survivors of the Blip. When was it founded and who the founder of this group still remains unknown to this day. Yet there has been speculation regarding this matter as newer information about Flag Smashers arise.
It's been reported that the symbol of the Wolf Spider has been worn by numerous members of the said group, even being painted on the locations they allegedly occupied. The claims of Levi Romanoff's involvement on the formation of the group is only strengthened by the stand he has taken during the aftermath of the Blip.
Romanoff was known to be part of REUNITE, an organisation that pushed the passing of the bill on the country regarding easing the borders and full acceptance of foreign citizens from countries that has been severely affected by the Snap. Not only was he a member but an active participant in previous rallies and campaigns. The boy has been vocal about his stand regarding it until his untimely death in late 2021.
The whole idea of Romanoff's beliefs is similar to the ones the Flag Smashers seem to fight for. An extremely liberated sense of a world without borders, without division. Can this notion possibly birthed the violent and radical group "Flag Smashers" or worse, did Levi Romanoff created the Flag Smashers as an attempt to continue and preserve his established fight?
Whatever the reasons of the former hero, surely a proven connection of him to the group in any form won't be as acceptable as what he is in the Avengers.
Article written by team's journalist: InspiredLinguist
Comments (39)
comixreader22: Still wondering why they never revealed the reason for his "death". That boy has always been the weird one in the team, I personally like Solarflare better
⤿ replies
classiclurker: damn right, Michael Rogers was so much better
emmasdoll: right! sad we lost Michael too : ((
avengersupremacy: ew this clickbait bullshit articles should be reported it's full of misinformation and bias media
timmyinasuit: be careful, the stupid Avengers fan might find it and raid your page like the Hulk
noheroesallowed: the Aveggies bootlickers are here again! those pathetic oafs are literally extinct, can't believe they still have fans
alyssuncraw: This is absolutely disgusting, the person is already gone yet these articles are still everywhere to profit from fake news and misinformation. You literally have no basis for those claims, it's all just rumors. Reported!
"This is bullshit!" Czarina muttered, closing all the news tabs in extreme annoyance.
Those were such terrible accusations! These people are spreading twisted narratives, just because some group of people decided to wear a symbol it doesn't mean they are founded from it. There was a time where several underground crime lords wore HYDRA after it's downfall in 2014 just because they wanted to rebuild it or to feel superior among their kind. But none of them were proven to be directly connected to the original HYDRA, because they are not. Haven't these common citizens learned from that?
But still even if Levi has nothing to do with all this, is it really the Wolf Spider sign? And if it is, why do these Flagsmashers decide to wear it as their own?
With quite a hesitation, Czarina clicked at the third and last number on her contacts.
"Hello? Who's this?" A voice answered at the other end of the line.
"Uh-oh... hi, it's Barnes."
"Oh... Rina, what can I help with?"
"I need you to look at something for me. It's not much, I just need legitimate information about it."
Despite being on a phone Czarina could almost imagine the person she's talking to pausing for a moment and suppressing a thrilled smile.
"Same way like before, I'll be happy to help."
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ASHA'S NOTES !
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I'm back on updating this! I'm so sorry for the frequent inactivity and lack of updates since the publishing of this fic. But I'll try my best and keep with more chapters this week and upcoming more weeks since Loki is showing too and it covers the second book of the series.
This chapter is kinda short with only 3k but I hope you enjoy it, because I had fun writing this especially Rina and Ally's moment together. There will be more chapters with Rina living in domesticity but I assure you we're getting close to the series itself and you'll see her in action soon.
I really love reading comments even if it's not spamming commenting, a feedback in a single or two comments are fine with me. I'd really appreciate it if you let me know what you think about this chapter! Thank you for reading.