𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑵𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 3
You & I, our iland
Alaska's POV
I was now at a dorm with the three girls, they said their names were Nina, Rima, and Miihi. It was like 10 at night so I decided to take a walk outside the beautiful streets of Seoul. I got my shoes on and sneaked out quickly while the other girls were asleep. They were all very nice, I guess I shouldn't avoid them but I still didn't trust very easily.
Why did I say yes to this? Did I really want this?
I wandered through the beautiful streets although it was quite dark, I wanted to discover more and I hand my phone if I got lost. I wanted to get a late-night snack since I was still very nervous, like what was going to happen now? Was I going to train with these girls? Are they better than me? Should I be worried that I'm not as talented as they are?
"Alaska!" I heard a voice call me from the left side of the street.
I turned to my left and see the one and only Felix across the street, he was now running to the other side to meet me.
"Felix! What are you doing here?" My heart was beating really fast once again, why was I still so nervous around him?
"I usually go on late night walks," He chuckled. "What about you? You should be asleep, tomorrow is gonna be a big day."
"Can't sleep," I replied with an awkward chuckle as we walked down the sidewalk. "My anxiety is getting worse, I shouldn't be alone in the streets either way but I like walking."
"I didn't know you had anxiety, I'm so sorry." Felix frowned and looked at you. "If you ever feel really upset because it just give me a call."
"I don't have your number." I snorted and then my eyes widened at the realization of what I said.
"I'll give it to you, hand me your phone." Felix smiled.
"What? No! Its fine! Really, I don't want you to worry about such things." I swatted my hands.
"Give me." Felix chuckled and took my phone out of my sweater pocket, he quickly put his number and handed it to me
"Sometimes I wish I put a lock on my phone." I replied with a sigh, taking the phone back.
"You might want to, if you do debut then its important to lock your phone." Felix advised.
"That's if I debut, the girls at the dorm are probably more talented than me." I reminded him.
"Alaska, don't be so hard on yourself. Be relieved that you won't have to strictly know korean to debut." Felix replied. "Tomorrow, I heard that you guys will take dance classes and singing lessons. They'll train you more in what you're good at."
"I'm not good at anything." I snorted as I lead Felix into the direction of a semi-high building.
"You're really good at dancing." Felix complimented. "I think you'll become a good rapper."
"Are you implying that I can't sing?" I looked at him with a serious face then later broke out into a smile. "You're not wrong."
"I suck at singing too!" Felix laughed as you guys sneak in the alley of the building.
"Lies, we all saw you singing really well in Hero's Soup," I argued back as I stood in front of a ladder. "Let's go up this ladder."
Felix looked at me with widened eyes as if I was crazy. "What? Heck no! Alaska, we could get in trouble for climbing this, isn't it like trespassing?"
"Felix, if you don't want to climb onto this ladder then you'll just be hanging down here on your own," I say with a smirk and started climbing.
"F-fine, it's really dark in the alleys anyways." Felix gave in and climbed after you.
"It's beautiful here." You say as you looked over the buildings, the lights were colorful which was something you didn't expect to see.
Felix walked over to where I was and pulled me farther from the ledge. "You might fall."
I chuckled at him and looked back at the view. "I've done this before, I think I know I have to be careful."
I sat on the ledge with my legs hanging out to which Felix stood in the same place in fear.
"Come on! You won't fall, trust yourself." I advised with a small smile.
Felix nodded slightly as he took small steps and sat next to you.
"It's really pretty, I've never done anything like this," Felix said and looked at me with a smile.
"That's because you haven't lived yet, I think being an idol means you have to also take precautions and make sure you take care of yourself. But idols should take risks and live a little, otherwise, they aren't living." I explained as I looked at the beautiful night sky.
"I mean you aren't lying," Felix paid close attention to my words. "I love performing but sometimes I think if I took the right path or not. Sometimes I just want to live as a normal teenager, playing video games really help me balance my idol life and teen life. I wish I could be as risky as you but I'm pretty sure my contract could be terminated."
Felix chuckled at the last part and started to play with his tiny hands.
"Well they don't always have to know, I bet idols date in secret. So if they can date in secret then why can't you do something to give you an adrenaline rush." I got up and offered my hand.
"Where are we going?" Felix asked as he took your hand and got up, he followed me as we got down from the building.
"Well there is a convenience store around here, aren't you hungry?" I smiled.
"Let's go!" Felix's eyes widened as you guys walked to the convenience store.
• • •
"And then I danced more, my anxiety was always the one thing that kept me from reaching my dreams. When I was little my anxiety always told me that I wasn't talented to be a singer or an idol. I didn't like talking to new people and in a room full of people I would always get scared, that's why I never improved my singing and rapping throughout the years." I sighed as I placed the chopsticks down in the cup. "But after getting into Stray Kids I felt more encouraged to improve and to just be myself, my parents wanted me to study in college but I always wanted to become a public figure."
"Wow." Felix looked at you with a serious face to show he's listening to you. "I never knew how strong you really were, you seem even stronger than me."
"Me? Strong?" I snorted. "Oh please, Felix you moved to Korea at a young age as well and you had to learn hangul."
"Then we're both strong and brave." Felix took a sip of his drink and smiled at you. "You remind me of Chan."
"Chan? Why him?" I tilted my head as his words.
"I think you both are very good people both inside and outside." Felix replied. "This was Chan's dream since he was very young and it seems like it for you too, I'm glad we scouted you."
My cheeks flushed as the words left his mouth, I felt closer to Felix after this talk. It made me truly realize that an idol is also a human, they may seem all innocent and angel like but in reality they are just like like every other human being on this earth.
"It's time to go back to dorm." I looked at the time and realized it was much more late.
"Yeah... Let's go." Felix replied with a small smile as he got up and walked you back to dorm.
• • •
The next morning I felt much more confident and stronger, after that talk I felt more at peace for some reason. I think that Felix has calmed me down, besides I think I'm confident enough to actually become an idol under JYPE.
"So I have gathered you girls here to talk about the upcoming survival show." My heart dropped as JYP finished his sentence.
I was at the JYP building with the other girls in the one of the practice rooms, he was giving us a "talk" on what was going to happen in the next few weeks.
"I'm going to be broadcasting a new survival show with 15 trainees and only 7 will debut." JYP explained. "It's going to be hard but I know you girls have potential, that's why I chose you."
After he finished there was a few more girls that walked in and bowed at JYP, I instantly felt nervous because they seem so much prettier than me. What if I don't debut because I'm different than the korean standard?
I raised my hand out of confusion, I thought I already told JYP that I wasn't going to debut in an Asian group?
"Yes Alaska?" JYP gave me his full attention.
"I thought I said beforehand that I didn't want to be in a group with only Korean girls? Like no offense but I really want to be taken seriously as an artist or becoming artist and not as a joke."
"Alaska, I chose all of you girls because I am trying to debut you guys as fast as possible which means intense training. I'd rather start off bringing foreign members into group rather than make you a soloist. The public will see you trained as hard as the other members, if you win in this survival show then you will debut faster." JYP explained. "Some trainees are from Canada and Australia as well so I hope you can get comfortable with them."
I nodded and sighed in my head, I was really worried because I'm just an american who isn't even at a high level! Suddenly I heard the door open and see my idols walk into the room which took me by surprise.
"Hello we are Stray Kids!" They introduced themselves as they stood next to JYP with smiles and waves.
My heart was pacing faster, those were my idols like I really look up to them! I looked at Felix who was already looking back at me with a huge grin on his face which made me feel calmer.
"In order to make this work faster, I decided to have Stray Kids be your mentors to help you improve faster. You'll get advice from real idols which is very helpful, when I evaluate you I will be more stricter because of the amount of advice you'll be getting." JYP explained as the other girls nodded.
Suddenly I felt of overwhelming anxiety flush through my body, a survival show? Is this really want I wanted? Like I've watched survival shows before and they're not pretty at all, if I failed then it would take you longer to debut. And then debut in a korean girl group! I didn't want this at all I felt as if I was tricked. When JYP was assigning us the members that's when the cameras in the room started rolling and I was hoping I would get Felix. I do feel comfortable with most members but Felix is the only one I've really talked to so I just want him to teach me.
"Alaska, Nina and Yuna you are assigned to Han and Felix and you'll do your introductions in the other room." JYP stated as Jisung and Felix walked towards you and the other girls.
"Hello!" Felix and Jisung greeted me and the girls, it felt better knowing that I wasn't alone after all.
"So, Alaska you're going to be doing your introduction now." Felix smiled and took you out of the room and into another room with with a camera on a tripod while Felix got behind it.
"Isn't there supposed to be someone else that needs to record me?" You questioned while remembering the old JYP survival shows.
"JYP wanted me to do this for you since you are still a little shaken up, I know how hard it can be to speak in korean with the others so I'm trying my best to make you feel comfortable." Felix explained.
I nodded and looked at the camera as I took a seat, this feels so familiar even if I never done this before.