little warning, but this chapter is very long xDD (longer than usual)
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They both woke up comfortably. Kirishima was sleeping in Bakugou's bed, buried in the covers which acted like a cocoon. Bakugou was sleeping on a futon he had set up near his bed, and he woke up with some of the covers bundled up under his arms whilst the rest covered his body. He snuggled into it for comfort, but he had to detach himself from it when the alarm rung.
Kirishima was the first one willing to get up, for once. He yawned and stretched, then kicked the covers to his feet. He snoozed the alarm, in case they go back to sleep, and then stood up. He watched Bakugou's frustrated state, clearly annoyed that he had been woken up, but Kirishima chuckle, and stepped on his futon to make him less comfortable, and then opened the curtains.
"Rise and shine," he chuckled, smiling down at his friend. "We have a busy day ahead of us, and we should practice a bit this morning," he said.
Bakugou grumbled incomprehensible noises, and then pulled the covers over his head.
"We have a big performance. At least... to me it is. I'm going to try and show my parents how I love them but they push me in a direction chosen by them too much," he said with a smile. "I guess... in a way... it may also apply to Himura. I loved her, but I'm moving on. Maybe it is too quick, but I have you by my side, and you aren't going to wait around for me to have moved on," he said through a grin.
"The fuck are you on about?" asked Bakugou, muffling his voice through the covers.
"Who knows?" shrugged Kirishima, staring outside, and letting himself relax.
When the alarm rung again, Bakugou slammed his fist on his phone, and with skill he also stopped the alarm at the same time. Kirishima jumped a bit, and relaxed when he saw Bakugou stand up groggy. He walked a few steps to look outside, and then he squinted and walked towards his closet.
"Urgh. Too fucking bright," he sighed, taking out a few clothes. He took out his tuxedo he barely wears, and then glanced at Kirishima. "Are we getting changed at the venue or here?" he asked.
"Uh. I'd say here? Take a coat though," smiled Kirishima. "You'll have to bring me home for a while," he chuckled. "Hopefully, I'll be able to avoid Himura," he sighed.
"Yeah," nodded Bakugou.
He went to the bathroom, got showered, and quickly got himself dressed. After a while, he was completely dressed. He glanced at his hair, and frowned slightly. Usually, he'd wear his hair as it is to play piano, but the last recital he did where his parents attended... he did style it. Oh well, he'll do it at Kirishima's place. He put on some dress shoes, and then glanced at himself in a mirror he found.
"You look great," smiled Kirishima, wearing the same clothes he was wearing last night.
"Thanks. Let's go to your place. I'll borrow your gel as well," said Bakugou, slipping on his coat, and slipping his keys, wallet, and phone in his coat pocket, and then opening the door. He would practice in Kirishima's apartment while he gets ready. Kirishima had practised on his piano while he was getting ready.
Kirishima followed him out of the apartment happily, and they had a nice walk to Kirishima's house. Once they got there, Kirishima entered the apartment quickly. They both looked around, and exchanged glances when they noticed the absence of Kirishima's cheating girlfriend and her supposedly-friend.
As soon as Kirishima announced he'll go take a shower, Bakugou's phone rang. He answered it quickly, and left it on speaker.
"Hello?"
"Bakugou? Oh thank god! You see, I'm waiting for Kiri to get home? I've searched everywhere, and I can't find him, and I remember him going to you yesterday for some reason? Yeah, please tell me he's with you?"
Bakugou sighed, and glanced at Kirishima, who scowled.
"Yeah, he's with me. Leave me alone, you bitch," he growled, hanging up, and turning his phone on silent, ignoring Himura's next calls. "As soon as you call things off with her, I'm blocking her fucking number," he declared.
Kirishima chuckled. "Yeah. I am too. And quite obviously, she isn't waiting for me," he sighed, going in the bathroom. "Here, take this. I have a mirror somewhere in my room or on the walls, so you can style your hair while I get cleaned and changed," he said, handing Bakugou one of the many hair gel containers he owns.
Bakugou nodded, humming appreciatively, and then looked around for a mirror to look at himself in.
Eventually, he found on in the living room, and he began working on his hair. Unlike his piano teacher who styled his hair when he was in high school, he styled it back. He let his forehead be exposed, and he gelled it back in the direction of his nape. It was comfortable that way, and it didn't get his hair in his eyes while he looked at the keyboard and his fingers.
He sighed as soon as he finished, and he touches his gelled hair. He chuckled as he felt his soft hair, comparing it to how Kirishima's gelled rock-hard hair feels. It was quite the contrast. He put the hair gel near the bathroom door, and then directed himself to Kirishima's piano room.
He's glad that room is homey. Even Kirishima's bedroom is out of place, and perhaps that is because of the huge presence Himura has in it. The piano room and the kitchen are the two places in Kirishima's apartment which are truly familiar.
He sat down at the stool, and sighed to himself. He was going to play for his parents, Kirishima, and himself, hopefully. If all goes well, he shouldn't be lying anymore. He will take Midoriya's word, and hope that music animes don't lie about the music being words for emotions. He had practised, and whilst he may only lazily perform in front of Kirishima and everyone else, he knows that he must be concentrated for this recital. He'll be playing for feelings. Hopefully his performance would spell them out for him.
He played through Arabesque No. 1 quickly, then through Flower Dance quickly, and then made up a few notes to follow up. He yawned while covering his mouth, then let his hand fall down by his side as he saw Kirishima watching him from the doorway.
"Warming up?" he asked, adjusted his shirt buttons, and then his tuxedo jacket.
"I guess," shrugged Bakugou, also nodding. He stood up, and watched as Kirishima tied his hair in lazy bun, yet he looked flawless. "You're ready?" he asked.
"Yep! You sure you don't want to put eyeliner on? The one you used last time here is still here," said Kirishima, motioning his bathroom.
Bakugou contemplated it for a second, then hurried to the bathroom, finding his previous eyeliner, and then applying some to his eyes. He glanced at himself in the mirror, then chuckled. His eyes looked much sharper than usual, especially since his hair was back. He looked more mature, in a way, and he definitely looked better than he usually does on a daily basis.
Kirishima sighed as he watched his friend admire himself in the mirror, and then looked at the clock. "Alright. Let's leave. We need to take the train, and we have to be there before twelve," he said.
"We aren't going to be late," said Bakugou, rolling his eyes as he walked out of the bathroom. "Do you have your music sheet? Are you ready?" he asked.
"Yes," smiled Kirishima. "I mean... I have scans of the music sheet on my phone, and-"
"I'll go steal a few of your music sheet," said Bakugou, quickly as he disappeared into Kirishima's piano room. He took music sheet on the shelf, and didn't question the name, but Kirishima motioned that it was that one he is playing. He also took the music sheet for Arabesque No. 1 that he saw, knowing that Kirishima had the exact same music sheet as him. He remembers Flower Dance by heart, and he knows whatever else he'll play by heart.
"Let's go?" asked Kirishima.
"Yeah. Let's go," nodded Bakugou, breathing in deeply, then shakily breathing out. "We can do it," he said, nodding firmly to Kirishima and himself.
They left, rushing out of the building before they could accidentally come across Himura, and they rushed to the station. They took the metro to a main train station, and then they took a train to the city where the venue was located. Instead of being silent, or talking to each other like friends did on the train, they were reading and memorising the notes, the dynamics, the extra little notes put on the score. They'd have time to do it before it is their turn, but they were getting anxious, so the more they do it the better, perhaps.
Once they arrived at their stop, Bakugou dragged a concentrated Kirishima through the train station, and then he searched up the easiest route to get to the venue. The easiest was to get a taxi, but if they can spend ten minutes zigzagging through tiny streets then it is the best way to go.
He kept his eyes on his phone while Kirishima looked around for any people or cars they might impact on. Eventually, after many attempts of not bumping into people, they got to the venue. It took them a little longer because of the traffic lights not allowing them to cross, but other than that everything went smoothly.
The venue itself was nice. It was more like a theatre, and it did catch people's eyes. Well, maybe it is a famous venue in this area.
Kirishima and Bakugou entered the venue after showing their identification, and they went in the hall. It had a lovely interior, but the red carpet and many pictures of previous concerts or shows were a bit intimidating. Not that they've never seen it before.
They took a booklet, and frowned slightly as they saw their position in the order.
"Huh? Why am I fifteenth and you are twenty second?" asked Kirishima, raising an eyebrow. "You are B and I am K," he added.
"Maybe it isn't alphabetical order," shrugged Bakugou. "Anyway, I need to talk to the judges, if there are any. Actually, the old hag had said there were going to be some," he nodded.
"Huh?!"
"Yeah. She said that this is mostly a recital, but it is also treated like a small competition," he shrugged. "It isn't a competition more than a recital, so if we aren't here when the results are announced, then it is fine," he said.
"Oh. Okay. But, why wouldn't we be there during the results anyway?" he asked.
"Who knows," shrugged Bakugou, walking up to one of the staff members. "I'm Bakugou Katsuki, one of the performers," he stated, pointing at his number. "May I speak to the judges?" he asked.
"Hum... I'm afraid they cannot be spoken to-"
"Or could you relay information to them?" he asked.
"Uh," the staff member looked to another, who shrugged then nodded. "Sure. What is it you would like to tell them?" he asked.
"Right, let me just write it down," he muttered, ripping an empty page in his program. He scribbled down in his neatest handwriting the changes to his pieces, and he caught Kirishima doing the same behind him. "Here," he said, handing the paper to the man. He had sighed it too, and soon Kirishima gave the man his one. "Please do give it to them before the recital starts," he said.
"Ah, yes, okay," nodded the staff member, rushing slightly to a room on the side.
With a sigh, Bakugou and Kirishima both took seat in the large entrance hall, and they relaxed slightly.
"We have quite a while before it starts," said Kirishima. "At least an hour," he said.
"It starts at one," shrugged Bakugou. "I guess we have to be there early. How much time do you think we need to wait for before our parents arrive?" he asked.
"Hmm, maybe fifteen minutes? They always arrived way too early. I feel like they'll allow people to enter the actual hall in half an hour," said Kirishima. "Our parents always arrive early. It is like they want to make sure they see us before our performance," he sighed. "I wished they stopped being so clingy. When we were kids, it was comforting, but now it is just... too much," he muttered.
Bakugou stared in for few seconds, then nodded. "Yeah. I agree," he said, in the end.
They relaxed, holding the music sheet in their arms as they saw more performers come, and more of the audience come too. It is funny, in a way. There were kids, old people, adults, teenagers, and a lot of them held grade two or grade three pieces under their arms. They all looked excited, and whilst some looked nervous and worried, none of them were as anxious as Kirishima and Bakugou were on the train. The kids looked the most confident, and the duo chuckled as they saw themselves in them.
"Do you remember when we were prodigies?" asked Kirishima, laughing lightly.
"We aren't exactly nobodies in the industry, Kirishima," answered Bakugou. "I know they all know our kid faces, but we've grown well. We've gotten better too. Definitely better," he said.
"Yeah. Yet I never seem to be able to beat you most of the time," chuckled Kirishima. "Well, at the same time... you did become a prodigy earlier than I did," he laughed.
"Really?" smiled Bakugou, just humouring the conversation.
"I'm glad we got to grow up as friends," smiled Kirishima. "Otherwise... well, I don't think I would have liked being your rival," he said.
"I wouldn't have liked it either. You were a very good pianist."
"What?! Were?" pouted Kirishima, grinning a few seconds after.
They caught the attention of a few people, and a few of them gasps. Kirishima and Bakugou immediately stopped looking at the others in the entrance hall, and instead turned to each other.
'Oh my gosh! Is that... Kirishima Eijirou? He's such a great pianist, such an inspiration!'
'Oh wow! That's Bakugou Katsuki, right? Oh my gosh, his name is in the program! I have no chance of winning, but... maybe he'll notice me?'
'That's... Bakugou Katsuki... He truly is amazing. I wonder how he'll play today. He usually plays the score exactly as it is, but this is a recital focused on emotions, isn't it? I hope my daughter can outshine him.'
'Isn't Kirishima Eijirou so charming? His performances are like dreams. I could listen to him play any day! To think I'll hear a live from him today? I'm so lucky!'
'Ah, fuck. I'm fucked. Goodbye gold prize.'
They tried to ignore the other people, but they quickly caught sight of their parents entering the hall. Surprisingly, Himura was also with them, smiling and laughing with Kirishima's parents.
The duo had attempted to hide themselves, but Bakugou's mother caught sight of them, and dragged her whole group towards them.
"Eijirou! Aw, how I've missed you," gushed Kirishima's mother. "Have you been well? Have you been eating well? Are those bags under your eyes? Have you been sleeping? Do you need concealer? I thought maybe Bakugou would have helped you cover them," she went on a bit until Kirishima felt too overwhelmed.
"Mom! I'm well, and I'm eating well. I've been through a few things, but I slept really well last night, so don't worry too much about it," he chuckled, catching sight of Himura looking away from him, at the ground. He tried not to make it obvious that he was thinking of glaring, but he calmed himself. "Have you been okay? I hope you haven't been worrying too much. You'll get too many wrinkles at a too early age," he said with a smile.
"Aw, Eijirou," smiled his mother. "I know you are concerned, but I have a good man to look after me. Come on, greet your kid," she huffed, pushing Kirishima's dad forward.
"Hey kid, how have you been?" asked Kirishima's father. "You certainly look well. Himura tells us that you spend a lot of time with Katsuki recently. Has he been mean to you? He didn't have a reputation as the kindest man in the past," he frowned.
"Nah, he's my closest best friend. He's been very nice to me, actually," he smiled, distantly as he remembered last night's events. Really. Bakugou has been very kind to him.
A meter away, Bakugou was being drenched in unwanted attention.
"We've seen you not long ago, but you look like a mess. Are you okay? Have you been practising? Has your job been too much? I told you to fucking drop it before-"
"Shut up. I practised, and I'm okay. I do not look like a fucking mess," growled Bakugou.
"Katsuki, you'll get permanent frown wrinkles, and you are so young," started Masaru, reaching over to his son to smooth the frown. He didn't succeed.
"Shut up."
"Anyway. We saw the program, and you are going twenty second. That's not too bad, but a bit later than I expected," sighed Mitsuki. "Eijirou is going earlier than you, so it is quite scattered. It is a bit frustrating that it isn't in alphabetical order, but perhaps they organised it in the order of the songs?" she wondered. "No... it would be logical to put the pieces in order of their grade, but... oh well. Anyway. Have you eaten? Eat something."
"Shut up. I ate."
He did. Well. Kinda. He and Kirishima did grab sandwiches between stations, but they were small sandwiches, and they weren't particularly good either.
"Alright. I think I saw your friends?"
"Thanks," he muttered, walking off.
Kirishima quickly greeted his girlfriend with a soft smile that was way too fake, but Himura never told the difference between Kirishima's fake facade and his true feelings. She followed him as Kirishima followed Bakugou towards their friends.
Ashido, Sero, Kaminari were all joined with Midoriya, Uraraka, Asui, and Iida, and they were laughing together. It was nice to see their friends get along, and they got to meet each other so Bakugou and Kirishima won't need to introduce them too much.
"Ah, Kacchan! Oh, and Kirishima," grinned Midoriya, waving at the three walking towards. "Oh, and... Himura? I forgot if we met or not," he chuckled.
"Hum... I don't think we did," chuckled Himura, awkwardly.
"Ah, well. I'm Midoriya Izuku! I'm Kacchan, well, Bakugou Katsuki's childhood friend and I've also known Kirishima since middle school," he grinned, extending a hand to shake. She shook it, and then glanced at the other three.
"Right, whatever. This is Uraraka Ochako, that is Asui Tsuyu, and that's Iida Tenya," shrugged Bakugou, motioning at them when he said their name.
"Aw! Bakugou, you remember our names!" laughed Uraraka.
"Hah? Of course I do, Round Face," he growled, then grinned teasingly.
While they talked, they entered the actual hall, and took seats near the middle. They didn't have determined seats, and they decided to be in the middle to not be close to the tiny kids who always want to be at the front, and not to be too close to people who like to talk at the back.
They were comfortably sat down, and Kirishima and Bakugou separated their friend group. It wasn't really intentional, but the duo wanted to sit next to each other so it randomly happened.
"Kiri, how long are each performances going to be?" asked Himura, pouting slightly. She clearly didn't really want to be here to hear anyone else other than Kirishima.
"Uh. Most will be between one minutes and five, but the maximum time we have up there is ten minutes or so, so some may be really long," said Kirishima. "There will be a break between every five performances, to let the judges reflect on what they just saw, and also to let the audience have something to refresh themselves, and maybe something to gossip about," he said. "I'm fifteenth, so I'll be the last one before the third break. Bakugou is going to be after the fourth break. Each break is short though. Generally just five minutes if the performances are really short. From what I can see, most of the performers are grade two or three, so they won't have really long pieces," he shrugged.
"Oh. Okay," nodded Himura, leaning up to kiss Kirishima's cheek and then turning to talk to Ashido who sat on her other side.
When she wasn't looking, Kirishima wiped his cheek, and earned a snicker from Bakugou.
"Gross?" he asked.
Kirishima didn't answer, but the look in his eyes did confirm his thoughts. Bakugou snickered a bit more, and then Midoriya slapped his arm, excited, when a presenter tapped a microphone, and then began the intro.
He welcomed the audience, and explained a few of the recital etiquette, indirectly addressing the people talking, and the loud kids at the front. He also explained how performers will be judged. Apparently they will be judged on their accuracy to the score, and also emotional input in the piece.
As soon as he explained, the first performer went on stage. It was a young adult, perhaps still a teenager, and her dress was almost soaking in her nervous sweat. She had shakily put her fingers on the keys, but then relaxed once she started playing. When the piece ended, the audience clapped and she went on, letting the second performer go up. Most performances weren't exceptional, except that one child prodigy that came out of nowhere, but the rest were just people playing for fun. Even if those performances were simple, or a bit inexperienced, the duo let themselves enjoy it as it was just a recital generally. Sure, you get judged, but it really isn't like a proper competition.
Soon enough, two breaks were over, and the third one was around the corner. While the second break ended, Kirishima stood up, saying his 'see you later's to his friends as he walked off to the room for performers. Most of them wished him 'goodluck,' but Himura and Bakugou had a different approach. Himura kissed in on the cheek again, and Bakugou instead told him a different 'good luck.'
"Hey. Think about who you are playing for and..." He remembered Kirishima also changing his piece, and with a momentary frown, he then grinned. "Live without regrets, right?" he asked through his smile.
Kirishima brightened up, and nodded. "Yeah! I'll see you after, during the third break!" he grinned.
Currently, the fourteenth performance had just finished. It was a small kid playing a grade one piece for fun, but it is easy to see he was having fun, so no one could judge him for playing such a simple piece. As soon as the kid left, Kirishima entered the stage.
He entered it proudly. He smiled at the audience, and bowed down deeply. He looked very enthusiastic, and obviously anyone who looked at the program would think he was enamoured of playing the piano. Maybe Love's Dream, or Liebestraum, is quite an obvious name. Well, Himura seemed like she'll enjoy the piece she is going to listen to. Bakugou had an idea of how he would have interpreted it, but he doesn't know what Kirishima knows, so he is also in for a surprise.
Kirishima sat down on his stool comfortably, bringing it down a bit as he was way taller than the previous performer. He tested the pedal, and placed his hands over the keys. Closing his eyes, he let out a distant smile, and then opened them to look over the audience. It is clear he noticed his friends, and also his parents at the way he brightened up and then looked more distant. Eventually, after barely a few seconds, he got himself ready, and began to play.
At the first note, everyone looked around, confused. Bakugou had closed his eyes to enjoy Kirishima's performance, but the first note made him blink and stare at Kirishima closely.
'Hah? The fuck? This isn't Liebestraum,' he thought, his lips parting, and his eyebrows furrowing into a curious frown. 'Fuck, that's a whole different composer too.'
Kirishima was still smiling, yet his eyebrows were furrowed into a frown. His eyes were so distant that it just showed how he really never meant to play Liesbestraum by Lizst.
"How romantic," murmured Himura, earning a quiet chuckle from Ashido.
Midoriya had his eyes closed, and perhaps he was pretending to see whatever Kirishima had in mind.
As Kirishima's music is always emotional, this one was no exception. Perhaps the change from Liebestraum, Love's Dream by Lizst, to Liebesleid, Love's Sorrow by Kreisler, was meant to impact his parents too.
Kirishima moved on from the intro, and his eyes had blinked a few times. Bakugou could only imagine what was going on in his head. He was clearly expressing his love, yet the bitterness of how his love isn't quite requited like his.
Bakugou felt the whole room leave, and he could just see Kirishima in the middle, playing for the people he love and loved. He felt his chest ache at how Kirishima's blue melody wrapped itself around everyone. It brought tears to those who understand, and it brought tears to those who just listen to the piece how Kirishima is playing it.
He saw how Kirishima's love was directed to Himura, dissipating into thin air as he was beginning to get over her, and detach himself from her. He saw how Kirishima's love was directed to his parents, attempting to inform them of how much he loves them, but also how much needs to be himself.
At some point in the piece, he saw Kirishima's eyes glance towards them, and he could swear that Kirishima made eye-contact with him. He was smiling softly, and he was clearly on the verge of crying. Bakugou felt his heart skip a beat in alarm, and he almost stood up, his body flinching and shivering harshly. He felt Kirishima's blue melody crash onto him, and with a soft embrace, it enveloped him in a beautiful comfort. His body relaxed, and he allowed himself to smile with tears threatening to develop. He could see how Kirishima's eyes were already watering in the overwhelming amount of emotion he was letting out.
There was happiness. There was sorrow. There was regret, bitterness, sadness, love, all wrapped delicately in a lament. His feelings were like a tsunami. Everyone who knows Kirishima expected a main emotion to be expressed. His previous performances included happiness, or sadness, or calmness, but they have never included such intense and passionate feelings that Kirishima definitely never expresses outwardly.
Who knew Kirishima held such a heavy heart? Who knew he had dealt with so much, only to have it all come out much stronger than anything else.
At the last chord, and the last ringing noise, the entire hall was silent with exceptions of sniffles. Then a sob, and then a loud encouraging applause.
Everyone clapped as hard as they could, making the applause last a whole minutes, with Kirishima bashfully bow several times. His cheeks were stained with tears, yet strained with his wide smile. Then, he walked off, and the lights turned on.
Bakugou heard a loud sniff from next to him, and he saw Midoriya crying rivers and waterfalls out of his eyes, sniffing, and silently sobbing.
He saw Iida wipe his eyes gently, and Uraraka clench her chest. He looked around, and he saw mostly everyone with tears in their eyes.
Most people stood up to get refreshments, and perhaps catch Kirishima while he makes his way back to the hall, but Bakugou stayed seated. Midoriya had finally stopped sniffing, and he wiped his last tear. He glanced at Bakugou, then with wide eyes he shook his childhood friend.
"Kacchan! Are you okay?" asked Midoriya, loudly.
Bakugou frowned, then nodded. "Yea-" he choked as a wrenching sob escaped him. He finally noticed the tears leaving his eyes, and the heavy stain of his tears on his program that sat in his lap. "Hu-" he sobbed again, and then his lips twisted down, and he covered his eyes.
"Kacchan..."
"Fuck off. Leave me alone," he hiccuped, hiding his eyes in his palm, and his face in his lap as he bent forward.
"But, Kacchan-"
"Fuckin- Stop."
Midoriya frowned, but then smiled softly. "It was overwhelming, wasn't it? He spelled out his problems in emotional riddles, and I never knew how genuine his performances could be. Did you see how he was crying? He was smiling too. I think he was really relieved," he said.
Himura shuffled in her seat, then stood up. "I'm going to try and find Kiri," she declared. "It was so beautiful. No wonder it is called Love's Dream," she chuckled.
Midoriya blinked, but then smiled. "Yeah, definitely," he nodded. As she left, he leaned into Bakugou's personal space. "Isn't this piece called Love's Sorrow, though? I think he didn't play Love's Dream."
"Shut the fuck. She's a dumbass," said Bakugou, stumbling over his words.
"Probably," shrugged Midoriya, trusting Bakugou's words. "You don't want to go and see him?" he asked.
"He'll come back," sighed Bakugou, rubbing his eyes, then glancing at Midoriya. "How's my fucking face?" he asked.
"Uh. Blotchy red? Also, your eyeliner-"
"Fuck. Ashido, lend me your eyeliner and makeup remover thing wipes," he growled, holding a hand out in Ashido's direction. Her makeup was also a mess, but it looked much better than Bakugou's. She has waterproof eyeliner, probably. Or tear proof. Or something, he doesn't know.
"Ah, okay! I'll give it to you when you need to go on stage though," she grinned. "It is rare to see your face so exposed to how you are feeling," she laughed.
"Shut the fuck up."
Eventually, the third break ended, and Himura returned empty-handed with a shrug and a claim that 'he wasn't anywhere.' They watched number sixteen to twenty, and as the fourth break started, Bakugou stood up, and was followed by Ashido. She gave him what he wanted, and he fixed himself up in the public bathroom. Once he looked as sharp as before, aside from his red eyes which had calmed a bit, he waited for Ashido to leave the girl's bathroom so he could hand her the eyeliner he borrowed. As soon as he gave it, she wished him good luck, and went back to the hall.
With a sigh and a drag in his feet, Bakugou led himself to the waiting room for the performers. He entered the room, closing the door, and then looked up. He almost gasped as he noticed someone familiar in the room.
"Kirishima?"
Kirishima looked up, and with an easy, yet also a bit forced, smile, he waved at his friend. "Hey. Sorry, I didn't go back. I just wanted peace," he chuckled.
Bakugou sat down beside him, and nodded. "Right. After your performance, it makes sense," he shrugged.
Kirishima chuckled, then pat his friends back. "So, your performance is soon, right man? I hope you do well," he grinned. "Huh? Aren't your eyes a bit red? Bro, were you crying?"
Bakugou stiffened, and looked away. "Fuck off."
"Aw! You cried!" Kirishima lunged himself towards Bakugou and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. "When I heard people crying, I was really surprised! I only noticed I was crying when I left the stage, and it was so embarrassing! Can you imagine? Just crying on stage," he sighed. "I didn't think I would make Mr Not-Emotional-Bakugou cry," he laughed, lightly. "It means a lot. I'm glad you got whatever I was delivering."
"It was a fucking train wreck, Kirishima," sighed Bakugou. "All your emotions were hitting us, and... and fuck, it is hard not to fucking cry at how strong you were delivering it all."
"Hey, thanks," he smiled, pulling away. "You're up soon, aren't you?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"I'll go back to my seat. I want to see you perform in person. Not on this small television screen," he stated, standing up. "Thanks for your encouragement, by the way. It really helped."
"Sure. Don't worry about it-"
"Nah, bro, man, I'm gonna wish you good luck too. Like you told me, remember who you are playing for, and just feel the music within you, okay? And... and make sure that you don't cry like I did," he chuckled. "That would a bit humiliating to you, no?"
"Yeah. I won't cry, dumbass," he chuckled.
"Alright. I'll go now. Good luck! You can do it!" cheered Kirishima as he left the waiting room to go back to the hall.
A minute or so after Kirishima left, Bakugou was immersed in the piano sheets and the music from his phone as he looked over what he was going to play. He was a bit stressed out, but it was mostly because of his thoughts about his parents and Kirishima, and then everyone else.
The guy who went before him, a guy who's probably thirty, looked more nervous than him though. Bakugou was respectful enough to watch his performance on the small screen in one of the rooms, but after the man left, and his name was called, he shook slightly. He checked his eyeliner, his eyes, in the mirror, and as he deemed himself presentable, he adjusted his bow tie and left his music sheet and phone behind.
He walked to the side of the stage, and as the most-likely-thirty year old guy walked passed him with a relieved sigh, he began to walk on stage.
It was familiar, in a way. The black Steinway grand piano in the centre of the stage, its side facing the audience, it was very familiar. It is a sight he saw when he was four, and a sight he kept seeing. The stage was like his home, the audience unimportant.
He walked confidently, his hands firmly by his side as he bowed. He looked at the audience for a second, and saw his mother and father staring down at him firmly, yet also relaxed. He also saw Kirishima, who was smiling brightly.
Bakugou adjusted the seat, and then sat down. He got himself comfortable, and then placed his hands over the keys.
"One, two, three... One, two, three, four," he murmured, and then he finally played.
His first note resonated in the room, and the rest followed smoothly. He wasn't too quick, and his dynamic was accurate to the score. Where he had liberties, he took it in himself to add some crescendos and decrescendos.
He played Arabesque No.1 perfectly, knowing it will make his parents happy. He didn't want to go against their wishes, so he won't repeat the same mistakes. He was unnecessarily sad last time. This time, he tied the sadness with happiness, and a hint of nostalgia.
He was happy to play. He didn't mind playing as much as he convinces himself to. Yet these days he found himself thinking it is the worst. The reminder of his parents' beliefs make him sick to the bone, and the reminders to practice are like flies buzzing through his head everyday.
As much as he loves his parents, he does yearns for his own independence and freedom from them. He loves playing for them, but sometimes he really hates it too. They are too forceful sometimes. They demand for him to play certain pieces, and whilst he doesn't mind, he also wonders why he plays those pieces they chose instead of pieces he chooses for himself. Well, even if they gave him freedom, Kirishima chose for him instead.
Bakugou sighed loudly, feeling his heart become heavier the more he plays. He is playing accurately. He knows his parents will be happy and proud of him for this part of his performance. He sighed out more shakily, and he felt his unoccupied feet lift his heel. He placed it back down as soon as he notices, and he breathed in and out deeply to calm himself. He's doing it out of love. He just hopes he can reach them. That is all he hopes for.
As he reaches the end of Arabesque No.1, he can feel an applause beginning to hang in the air. He breathed calmly, and made a smooth transition, moving from Arabesque No.1, to Flower Dance.
As he modulated the key, and changed the pieces without ever stopping the music, he heard faint gasps in the audience. He knew that would happen. He is supposed to only play Debussy's Arabesque No.1, not DJ Okawari's Flower Dance as a piano cover.
He felt his heart move between feelings. He played Debussy's piece for his parents, and now he's playing Flower Dance for Kirishima. He closed his eyes momentarily between the pieces, and he could feel the whole atmosphere change colour. It moved from varied shades of blue to purple and pink. Those colours were wistful, hoping to go somewhere. The pinks travelled like the early spring cherry blossoms towards where Bakugou's love was targeting. The purples were around, carried the pink, and lovingly embracing the blossoms.
His heart was heavy as he played, but he could feel weight being lifted off the more he went into the piece. He expressed without worries. It doesn't matter if no one understands. It doesn't even matter if Kirishima doesn't understand. All he wants to do is let Kirishima know of how much he loves him, even if the knowledge is passed through an unconscious feeling, the words left behind.
He didn't know he could feel so much. He truly didn't. But as his right hand moved to play the melody, and his left hand accompanied it with complementary notes, he couldn't help but feel and understand so much he didn't know of before. He left himself be vulnerable, just this one time. He won't play for the score, he won't play for the exact notes. He'll play for his parents, for Kirishima, and for himself to feel free.
He almost understood how Kirishima felt. Expressing such raw emotions was overwhelming. Bakugou could feel water starting to tickle his eyes. He'll blame it on the rain. His heart will weep to its content.
He took in a deep breath, and smiled softly like he used to when he was young. It was calming, and he now knows how relieving it is to express and let go of his feelings through his music.
He took in a deep breath as he neared the end of Kirishima's recommended Flower Dance, but he didn't end it there yet. Although he felt his fingers cramp, he didn't want to stop. He had ten minutes and a bit more in total to play. He can play more, he wants to play more.
He didn't modulate this time as he moved passed the Flower Dance, knowing he is confusing too many people today. The cherry blossoms and purple tints dissipated in the air, and the audience and himself were allowed a second to breath, until he choked the entire room with flames and blind red.
His soft smile left, and he frowned as he played harsher notes. He began going into forte, still keeping some kind of motif in the melody as it held hints of Flower Dance and Arabesque No.1, just so his own personal addition doesn't become outcast to the whole piece. This part is for himself. It is for him to let his frustration free, to let Midoriya understand how frustrated he is with himself, to let Kirishima understand how much has been going on in his head. He hits harsh notes, hoping his parents understand that his love for them is unconditional, yet tainted with red as they keep controlling him.
He slammed his fingers on the chords as hard as he could, breathing loudly as he let himself go. He had so much to feel, to understand, to express, and he is willing to let the Steinway grand piano be the gate to allow him to speak in notes.
The flames kept burning, and they were so overwhelming with not only rage but also woe that simply made everything spill over. He felt his tears fall down on his lap as he shook his body as he played. He felt his scowl of frustration reflect on the piano and the music, but eventually he calmed himself and let the flames die peacefully.
He sighed to himself as he finished playing officially, and with a shaky breath of exhaustion, he finally pulled away from the keyboard. He stood up, and the audience began cheering wildly.
He was still spilling tears, and he looked over the audience in confusion. Some were crying, some were screaming, many kids were wailing, and he is sure he heard someone snort a sob. He bowed, holding back his crying face for a neutral one, and as he straightened himself, he could see his parents and Kirishima behind his blurring tears.
His father was applauding, smiling, but his mother was crying and looking away with a hand over her mouth. Kirishima was also crying, he could see the glint of the tears with the faint light, and he could see Kirishima was the one clapping the loudest. He was probably wailing too, but it is hard to hear over all these noises.
Bakugou swiftly walked off the stage, and then attempted to calm himself. He attempted.
In the audience, Kirishima was indeed wailing. He couldn't stop the tears, and he could feel Himura tugging at the hems of his shirt to have him sit down again. He did, but he completely ignored her otherwise. Bakugou gave such a confusion performance, yet it all made sense too.
He was out of breath, and honestly, he doesn't know if he's ever been so overwhelmed after a performance Bakugou's done. Like always, it was absolutely beautiful, and it was also genuine.
He calmed down quickly, wiping any tear that escaped the second it had freedom. He then waited patiently for Bakugou's return to his seat. He waited all of the fifth break too, and just before the fifth break ended, he stood up and started searching for Bakugou. He had told his friends the excuse of 'oh, I'm going to go find Bakugou, we'll be back,' and with Bakugou's friends he just explained he was going to search, implicitly portraying his concern for his friend.
When he entered the entrance hall, it was almost empty. He avoided stares and quickly made his way into the waiting room for performers. He looked around, and found one performer who wasn't doing anything.
"Hey, excuse me? Have you seen Bakugou Katsuki?" he asked.
The woman looked up, then nodded with a smile. "Yes. I saw him go in the men's bathroom a while ago. I'm not sure if he's still in there. By the way, your performance was amazing," she grinned.
"Ah, thanks!" he grinned back, rushing to the men's bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty, except for very loud breaths.
He locked the door behind him, knowing Bakugou wouldn't want to be found out, then walked to the stall where the loud breaths came from.
"Bakugou?" he called.
"K-Kirishima."
"Bakugou, are you alright?" he asked. "Why did you lock yourself in a bathroom stall?"
"I- fuck," cursed Bakugou.
"Hey, tell me if you are okay or not."
"No, I'm fucking not," said Bakugou, stumbling over his words.
"Why?"
"I-... fucking hell, it's just-! I'm..."
He knocked on the door, and shuffled around. "Bakugou-"
"Kirishima... I'm afraid."
Kirishima stilled.
"I- I don't want to fucking go back out there," he admitted. "I don't want to face my parents, I didn't even want to face you," he stated. "Damn it, fuck," he huffed.
"Hey. You don't have to face me yet," murmured Kirishima. "I'll just stay on this side of the door, until you can bear facing me," he said, smiling softly.
"Kirishima..."
"Yeah?"
"Sorry."
"For what? I don't remember anything you need to apologise for. Anyway, do you remember when we last played video games?"
Bakugou accepted the change of topic appreciatively, and he calmed down enough to relax. He didn't know why he panicked, but the thought of his parents becoming angry, or Kirishima being disappointed in him had him just unable to face any reality. He should have been able to know that Kirishima will always be kind and nice Kirishima.
'I love you,' he thought, listening to Kirishima rant about how much he should play a certain game.
"So, wanna go? We don't have to go back to the hall," suggested Kirishima. "We could just go back home, go to a cafe and relax, or go to a park," he added.
Bakugou nodded, to himself mostly. "Yeah," he answered.
"Let's go, then?"
Bakugou opened the bathroom stall door, and smiled up at his friend softly. "Yeah," he nodded.
They both smiled at each other as they left the waiting room. They won't have to go back, not yet. They don't have to face difficulties anymore today. So they will just go back into their comfortable home.
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how angsty xDDD
anyway, they are officially done with their dreadful performance ;DD i wonder how their parents reacted to the performances, huh xDD
so yh, that last part was in the first chapter xDDD Today's chapter was an emotional one, but I'm sure that everything will solve itself soon
we gotta trust these boys, they will get better xDDD
so, next chapter we have some fun and one part of the angst ended ;DD i wonder... xDD
Anyway! Thank you all for reading, I hope you enjoyed!!
Until next time~!! ;DDD