In this chapter I want to Convey a very Important message to all the men through Dr. Asfandyar. Because we must highlight it, discuss it and understand it...
Allah says in QURAN :
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
"..And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect." (30:21)
Moreover :
"The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'The more one becomes faithful the more one expresses kindness to his spouse'."
"The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'The words of a man who tells his wife, 'I love you truly', should never leave her heart'."
-_-_-_-_-_-
One week after returning from their honeymoon :
Zubia, after returning from hospital, helped Lubna and Gaiti in making dinner. Asfand had a night shift so Zubia will have to spend the whole night without him. But she decided to help Gaiti and Lubna to pack their stuff because they had to attend a wedding ceremony of some close relatives and they will be leaving to Islamabad by tomorrow (sunday) morning after fajr prayers. They had insisted Asfand and Zubia to come along, but Asfand had a night shift and Zubia was not feeling well. Moreover, she didn't want to go without her Asfand.
It was already 4:15 am when they finished packing all the stuff. It could have finished much earlier but the ladies can't compromise with the ritual of gossiping about random things ;-) . After offering prayers, Zubia went to see off the family.
It was 6:00 am when Zubia messaged Asfand :
Z: A.o.a and Good Morning.
A: w. Salam. Good Morning. Mama log chale gaye?
Z: G. Asfi duty kab tak off ho gi.
A: bas 8:00 am tak and then I will be back.
Z: okayy. Bye
A: byeee.
Just as she put her phone on the side table, she felt a very strong cramp in her lower abdomen. At this moment, she realized that her time of month i.e Periods had arrived and it was the reason of her sudden mood changes in the past two days. She rushed to the washroom taking her essentials with her.
After coming back, she fell on the bed lifeless and opted for a ball like posture, where her kness were touching her stomach, and closed her eyes.
Asfand came back till 8:20. When he entered into their room, he found her lying on the bed in that position. At first, he didn't understand anything and went to change. After freshening up, he came near her and went on his knees. He observed that Zubia was somehow looking pale and tired. He started caressing her cheek and stroking her hair and said :
A: Zubia I am back. Uth jao breakfast kerte hain.
She sensed that he is back and instantly gripped his hand which was caressing her cheek and stroking her hair.
Asfand smiled on her action.
Z: ap kab aye. (In a low voice)
A: bas thodi der pehle. Actually shower le raha tha. Chalo utho. Bohat bhook lagi hai mujhe aur I am sure tum ne bhi breakfast nahi kiya ho ga.
Z: hmm. G. Chalen
She got up and adjusted her shirt carefully. It was a rare sight for Asfand. Asfand had sensed that something was wrong. But he let the thought go bcoz he knew that if it is something serious then Zubia would surely discuss it with him.
Little did he knew that it was about ''PERIODS'' which every girl is hesitant to share with her spouse during early days of marriage. And the heart wrenching thing is that most of the men don't even bother to talk with their wives or try to console them during those days.
((Believe me she needs you.You cannot possibly imagine having to go through that pain every month, so don’t try to act like you do. Simply understanding her pain and saying that you do, and that you are there for her is a good first-step. Don’t say it is not a big deal, it is a big deal for her. And as a loving partner, you should try to be of some help.
Stop feeling disgusted, and reassure her that there's nothing disgusting about her, periods or no. Also, it is not an illness or sickness, so don’t treat her like that.))
But this case was Different. Different from everyone. bcuz it was Asfandyar and Asfandyar's Zubia was suffering from it.
They were having breakfast and Zubia was just having tea while Asfand was watching her as she was looking very low. She excused herself and said that she was going to washroom and will be back. Asfand kept thinking that what in the hell is disturbing her. Just then his mind clicked and he scolded himself for not realizing it before. Moreover, he was a doctor himself and how could he be so careless about his own own wife regarding this matter. Everything started making sense to him, her pale skin colour, low tone etc. He hurriedly got up and placed all the dishes in the wash basin. Washed them, cleaned up the table and went in their room. Zubia was still in the washroom. He searched for the medicine box and took out some tablets which could ease her cramps. He was sitting on the bed when Zubia came out. Asfand said:
A: Zubia yahan ao. (Patting on the space beside her)
Z: meinnn. Acha bas abhi ati hun wo actually mujhe na zar.... (avoiding eye contact with him)
A: nahi abhi ao.
She can't resist more and went to sit. Asfand finished the distance which she had left while sitting and placed his hand on knee.
A: Zubia kya hoa hai. Mujhe batao. Share karo mujh se (persuading her to tell)
Z: mujhe kya hona hai. Kuch bhi tu nahi hoa. I am perfectly fine. (Faking smile)
A: no you are not. Meri taraf dekho.
Zubia hesitantly looked up.
Asfand tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and said:
A: Zubia plz mujh se koi bhi bat share kerne se hesitate mat kiya karo. Choti se choti aur badi se badi. I am a doctor and most importantly I am your Husband. I can understand and I deserve to know everything....
At this moment she realized that Asfand was already aware of the situation that she was going through. P.s why would he not know after all he was a doctor.
A: it's normal and everything is fine. You don't need to stay away from me. Tum meri biwi ho aur ye ek normal condition hai. Okay...
Z: hmmm.
A lone tear fell down her cheek and she hugged Asfand.
Z: thank you Asfand. Ap bohat ache hain. Sab se ache.
A: shhh. (Stroking her hair)
Parting himself from her, he gave her the medicines and a glass of water.
A: chalo medicine le lo. Phir rest kerte hain. Meri bat hui Gaiti bhabhi se aur uhon ne bataya mujhe k ap subah fajr tak jag ker un ki help ker rahi thin.
Zubia gulped down the medicines and laid on the bed. Asfand covered her with the duvet and swith off the lights.
Z: Asfand. Ap kahan ja rahe hain.
A: mein door lock kerne ja raha hun bus abhi ata hun. Kuch chahiye...
Z: ok. Nahin kuch nahi chahiye.
He locked the main doors and came back a with a water bag filled with hot water. Her back was facing her. He slipped under the covers and placed the hot water bag on her lower abdomen.
A: 5 mins ye rakh lo. You will feel better.
Said Asfand near her ear while pressing the bag slightly.
Zubia just turned her head and said
Z: thank you.
A: thank you tu mujhe kehna chahiye. You are bound to bear this pain for us and I can't pay you for that but at least I can try to ease it for you.
Saying this he captured her lips and Zubia, closing her eyes, placed her hand on his face. She then placed her other hand above his hand which was pressing the hot water bag on her lower abdomen. After kissing her on the lips, he kissed her closed eyes, nose, forehead and earlobe.
Then he placed the hot water on the side table. Zubia turned towards him and placed her head on his chest. He could feel her hot breath in the crook of his neck. He entwined his fingers with her and both fell asleep.....
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Assalam u Allikum Readers. I hope I am successful in conveying the message and highlighting this common issue using the only platform to which I have access. I don't know why the topic of ''PERIODS'' is considered as a Taboo or Ghalazat to discuss. Despite knowing the fact that it is pretty natural for a girl to have periods, majority of people in our society don't even bother to dicuss it and solve a lot of issues regarding it. It is disgusting to see that husbands avoid to come near their wives during their periods and treat them as a trash during those days. WHY ? why don't they understand that it is a natural phenomena granted by Allah Almighty to all women. Women have go through this every month for 7-8 days for almost 35 - 40 yrs of their lives. Plz understand that it is NOT HARAM to
° touch them
° help them in chores
° console them and ease their pain
Instead, it is a SUNNAH.
..........