THIS SONG IS SO GOOD FOR EL AND HARRY.
HARRY'S POV:
I open the door as quickly as I can and she's pacing, her hand covering her mouth, and tears in her eyes, and I take her shoulders in my hands.
"Why are you bleeding?" I ask softly, tilting my head down so I can look at her.
"I I don't- I don't know I.. I need to go to the hospital, and fucking hell, I did everything right. I did everything fucking right, this shouldn't be happening!" She screams, and I squeeze her shoulders, and force her to look at me.
"El... baby look at me... I know this is a lot, but for the baby... try to stay calm, please try until we figure out what's going on okay?" I ask despite the shake in my hands. She nods her head, looking to my chest, and her hands are shaking as she holds my forearms. "Baby, you're shaking..." I mumble to her, hating the feeling of her trembling, hating the way she's looking so blankly to me right now. "Baby..." I try to get her attention, and her eyes finally snap to me.
"We have to take the car in the garage... That way no one sees me." She tells me, and the way she just fixated on something so small, something that should be the least of our concern shows me that she's not in the right headspace right now, she's trying to not think about it. She walks into the closet, and pulls out clothes, and changes. I watch her walk out, and stop her, lifting her hand to see the clothes she just changed out of within her fingers. "Let go of me..." She mumbles, and I take the material from her hands, seeing the blood, letting my face fall.
"Let's go now... El, we're wasting time." I mumble, and she leisurely walks to the bed, grabbing her phone, not putting her shoes on. "El, Darling I love you but what the hell are you doing?" I mumble, and she shrugs.
"It was too good to be true, might as well take my time getting there if I already know what they're going to say... 'We're sorry Ms. Montgomery, we regret to inform you that you seemed to have lost your-'" She starts, and I kiss her as quickly as I can, knowing she'll take that better than me telling her to stop talking. I break away from the kiss, and move back, kissing her softer, pushing out every ounce of love I have inside me into this kiss.
"Do not give up on me, do not give up on this child. You don't know anything, you're not a doctor, so let's go to one, and figure out why you're bleeding baby... There's still hope, you have no idea what's going on... We were due for a doctor's visit soon anyways, that's all this is, just a check in visit... Do not give up.." I try to plead with her, but she just moves to sit down on the bed, having already given up. I sigh, and lift under her legs, carrying her from the bedroom, and down the hall to the stairs. "Fine, have it your way... When that kid comes out, I'll never let them know that you gave up so easily." I tell her, feeling somewhat angered at her viewpoint on this. Yes I'm scared, yes we should prepare ourselves for something like this... Yes I want to scream, and cry, and freak out... but I can't. Not until I know, not until I see for myself.
"Harry I don't even have-" I pick up her shoes as I bend down, and continue walking, not even looking at her.
"You cannot give up El, that's not an option." I mumble, and she sighs.
"I'm just trying to tell you that there's no point in-" She starts, and I let myself snap.
"It's not an option! El, it's not an option, I don't care what you're going to say." I bark, and walk into the garage, opening the car door, and putting her in. She stays silent, crossing her arms over her chest, looking forward as I walk around the car, feeling more than angered at her.
As I climb in, and turn the car on I look over to her, and she's got soft tears falling but a strong, blank face on as she looks forward, her arms still crossed. "Look at me... Darling..." I mumble, and she just looks forward, giving me the silent treatment. "Don't do this El..." I mumble, and she doesn't look at me.
"I thought you were in a rush... Are you going to drive or not?" She speaks monotone, staring in front of her, and I press my lips together in defeat, sighing out a heavy breath. I drive out of the garage and through the gates, getting on the road and going towards the hospital, knowing that there's a huge chance we could be seen out, but not caring.
I keep looking over to her, and I wish I knew what was going through her mind at this moment. I know she's thinking the worst, she thinks she's already lost the child, and I understand why she's so hopeless but I wish she wouldn't be...
"El you can spot early on in your pregnancy... this is normal, I did some research, and-" I try to ease her thoughts, but she's not having it.
"That wasn't spotting... You saw the blood, you saw how much there was...After all that time, I told you to not get your hopes up, I told you to get your head out of the fucking clouds, and face the reality of this, and I was the one who was fucking dreaming..." She yells now, and I take a deep breath.
"Then we'll try again El! Whatever happens, whatever they tell us when we get here I will be right beside you, I will be right here. There's not a fucking thing that doctor could tell me that would make me lose hope in this, or us. I love you to the ends of the earth, and that is not going to stop whether you lost the child or not." I don't want to be angry, I don't want to raise my voice at her, but it's so hard sometimes when nothing gets through to her.
"Can you stop yelling at me!" She bursts, and turns herself towards the car window still keeping her arms crossed. I pull into the parking spot, and lock the doors, which forces her to turn to me. "Let me out of the car Harry." She looks at me with sharp eyes, and I stand my ground.
"Not until you stop with this, and you tell me-" I start, and she snaps.
"Do not fucking say 'We'll be alright.' Because right now I don't fucking feel alright, and I don't want to pretend I am for your benefit Harry, I'm not okay right now, and I'm not prepared to go into this hospital and have them tell me that I wasn't good enough to hold onto this child, that my body killed it." She breaks down, and I hold her face, reaching forward, wiping her tears.
"No baby... no... You don't have to say we'll be alright, I just need you to say that you'll let me help you.. Let me be here for you darling... Whatever this is, we're going to fix it. We always fix everything." I soften my voice, and she closes her eyes, the pain prominent on her face.
"We can't fix this, we can't fix it this time, and I don't want to hear them say it. I haven't even heard their heartbeat, I haven't even seen them in my stomach hardly, I-I..." She starts mumbling, her brian taking over.
"You don't know what they're going to say..." I remind her, and she shakes her head.
"Harry..." She softens.
"No El... You have no idea what they're going to say... Hold onto the hope, for me please... If anything for me..." I beg her... "I'm right by your side, all we have to do is go in..." I remind her, and she nods despite her obvious fear. We both get out of the car, and she pulls the sweatshirt she wears forward, making her bump almost unrecognizable, and I take her hand, walking with her into the freezing hospital.
We walk up to the front desk, telling them what's going on, and they type away, getting everything ready, and within the next twenty minutes we are brought back. The whole time we sat there she was shaking, she was petrified but she stayed silent, and all I could do was hold her hand, drag my thumb across the soft skin, and try to comfort her the best I could, keeping my nerves under control.
The doctors come to her, and they ask her questions, and they take some blood from her, and then they set up for an ultrasound. This is the first time I've ever been present for one, and she seems like she's used to it.
"It's going to be okay darling." I mumble to her, and hold her hand. She sucks in a sharp breath when they put the cool gel on her stomach, taking the instrument, and spreading it over, the images showing on the screen that look like nothing to me. El won't look to the screen, her eyes are locked on the ceiling as she holds my hand.
She's crying as well, waiting for the bad news but then we hear it... A faint heartbeat, and though it sounds a bit off tears well in my eyes instantly. "Do you hear that? Baby do you hear that?" I sit up, and she squeezes my hand, her eyes looking to the sonogram.
"Do you see the baby? Is it there?" El asks, her fear melting into excitement.
"I don't see the baby... I see the babies..." The woman tells but of us, and she freezes, I can feel her tense under my grasp, and it feels like my world stops.
"W-What?" I ask, not comprehending her words, hearing the abnormal heartbeat, and realizing then... It's not abnormal, it's very normal, it's just two heartbeats layering over each other.
"Look here." She points to the screen, pointing out a small figure. "Here's one...." She moves her finger. "Aaand two.. You're having twins, congratulations." She smiles as she looks at the screen, and I'm speechless.
"And they're healthy? Both of them?" El asks, the hope returning to her voice.
"Yes ma'am they're both healthy from what I can see, but the blood tests will tell us a bit more once they come back from the lab.. What you experienced was a threatened miscarraige." She speaks, taking the device from El's stomach, cutting off my view of the two small dots, only the size of cherries on the screen.
"What does that mean?" El asks, and I cover her hand, holding it with both of mine.
"It means that you are experiencing some abnormal bleeding, and I'm guessing some lower abdominal pain. You said it wasn't just spotting?" She asks, and we both shake our heads.
"Then yes, I'd consider this a threatened miscarraige. You will still carry the child, and you're still pregnant, this just means that your risk of miscaraige is more prominent for the time being. You need to be very careful throughout all of this.. Threatened miscairages can last anywhere from a day or two to a few weeks, what's important is that you stay off of your feet as much as possible, and you destress your life, don't work yourself up." She tells the two of us, and I look to El.
"You're having twins darling... we're having twins.." I look to her, and I feel my cheeks, I can feel the tears on them, but I don't care.
"There's a chance we will.." She mumbles, and the doctor looks to her.
"Hold onto hope... If you manifest the energy, and you put only good words, and good feeling along with truly taking care of yourself you will have them, and they will be happy, and healthy, and all will be well... Do not let go of your hope." She warns. "There's a chance of miscaraige, but there's an even bigger chance that you will have the children..." She tells El, and I'm not sure about her but it feels like there's a weight lifted from my chest. "It looks like you're around nine to ten weeks, so if everything goes as planned these two will be yours around October." The woman tells us as she looks at her papers. "October ninth." She tells us, and I feel like I'm living in a dream right now. "Alright, I'm going to grab some paperwork, and get some things sorted out for the two of you. It was a pleasure Mrs. Montgomery... Mr. Styles." She nods to both of us, shaking both of our hands, and then she's off, walking to the door, and leaving us alone.
"I can't believe this..." She mumbles, and I stand from the chair, sitting on the lip of the bed next to her. She sits herself up, and I bring her by her shoulders, hugging her to me.
"We're having twins darling... Two miracles carried inside you, I told you that you didn't know what they'd say.. I knew they weren't gone darling, I knew it..." I just ramble, letting every word in my mind come out. "Say something... How are you feeling?" I ask, wanting to hear her thoughts.
"I think both of our moms are going to be ecstatic..." She tells me, and the relief I feel knowing she's ready to finally tell them washes over me, thank god. Mitch still doesn't know, the band doesn't know, and I need to tell them before I tell the world. The band, Stevie, Kid, and both our mums, that's who needs to know beforehand. "Is Jeffrey here? Like is he around?" She asks, and I nod. "I think it's time he sees me too... Time to tell him about both of them instead of just one." She tells me, and I lean forward, kissing her lips. "I'm sorry for giving up..." She mumbles, her hand covering mine, her thumb swiping back and forth.
"We're holding onto hope baby... October will be here, they'll be here, and we're going to be parents... We're going to be parents, and you're going to be the best mother, they're both going to adore you angel." I kiss her hand, kissing each of her fingers, and not even waiting for her words to kiss her lips. I taste her, tasting the salty tears on both of us right now, knowing that we're both overwhelmed with this.
"I love you bub." I can feel her smiling on my lips, and I smile too, knowing that neither of us will let it go, this smile will be present as long as we can hold it. We wait, and take the pictures, the images of both of the babies on the photo paper staring back at us, the proof right there. We sign paperwork, and they discharge us, letting us leave, letting us get back to our car, and go on.
The feeling in the car is different now, warmer, and more free, more breathable. "Harry... What if, what if when they start growing I'm not strong enough, what if my body is too weak, and what if when I have them my body is too tired? What if I'm not-" She starts as I drive, turning the opposite way we came in so we can go to Jeffrey's.
"Don't say you're not good enough... If your body is too weak in the end then I'm going to have a great time taking care of you while you lay in bed until they're here... El I told you, and I meant it when I said I'm right beside you. When you can't walk, when you feel weak, or scared in any of this I'm right fucking here, and I'm not going anywhere." I tell her, and she takes my hand in hers, kissing my knuckles.
"You know you're going to have to lose this ring." She points to my hand, and I furrow my brows, looking at the large H on my finger, and back to her.
"Why?" I ask, and she smiles, toying with my rings as she holds my hand in hers.
"Because you need room for a wedding ring..." She tells me, and I feel warmth through my chest. "It'll be just as pretty..." She tells me, and she takes one of the rings from my middle finger.
"I want it to be simple... Whatever we decide on.. I want it to be simple..." I tell her, knowing rings are part of my daily wardrobe, knowing I wear so many extravagant pieces, but knowing that will be the most special.
"This one is my favorite..." She tells me, the large ring around her pointer finger, not fitting as she looks to the dancing bears along the silver ring.
"Keep it darling... Wear it on a necklace." I tell her, and she smiles, putting it back on my finger.
"It's yours.." She tells me, and I pull it off, pulling into Jeffrey's driveway.
"What's mine is yours love, I want you to wear it.." I tell her, and she smiles, taking it back from my fingertips. I get out of the car, and wait for her at the front. She walks forward, not trying to hide her belly like she was when we walked into the hospital. We can't keep it a secret much longer... not from our families, not from our friends... not from my fans.
"Are you ready darling?" I ask, knowing the last time she saw Jeffrey was when she was only at three weeks, and he had no idea she was pregnant either. We walk through the door as I hold her hand, and I walk straight in, not bothering to knock this time. "Jeff? Glenne, are you home?" I call out, and hear shuffling.
"In here! Harry? Is that you?" Glenne calls out, and I lead her in.
"Someone wanted to see you." I mumble, and lead her forward. We turn the corner, and Glenne gasps, Jeffrey looking over to us.
"Oh my god El, soon to be momma." Glenne comes to us, and Jeffrey stands up.
"Come on let's see the big bump.. How is the little guy or girl? Have you felt it move... You still don't know the gender right?" Jeffrey asks, coming forward. El moves to the kitchen, and starts working to get her way onto one of the stools, and I lift her the rest of the way. She pulls up her sweatshirt, showing off the impressive bump, smiling down as she looks to it.
"Not too big just yet..." She tells them, and I look at them.
"About the other questions... We just got back from the doctor actually." I tell him, and Glenne steps forward.
"Can I?" She asks El, and El nods.
"What did the doctor tell you?" Jeffrey asks El, and she looks at me smiling as Glenne places her hands on her belly.
"Well we don't know the gender yet... but we're actually waiting on two test results... She's pregnant with twins.." I tell him, and his eyebrows raise as Glenne's jaw drops.
"You're kidding..." He mumbles, and we both shake our heads. "Holy shit." He pulls me into a hug, and I feel warm knowing how excited they are for us.
"I don't know, I think Uncle Jeff has a ring to it... don't you think?" El asks me, and I can't help but smile.
"I'm going to spoil the shit out of your kid H..." He tells me, and comes to El. "And you're feeling okay? Everything normal, not too bad?" He asks her, and she nods.
"I'm.. I'm having a threatened miscairage right now... Basically I could have one if I'm not careful, but after this I'm not going to get out of bed except for doctor visits, not until it's over with... Other than that it's all been fine... I do miss working though, I miss traveling." She admits, and she never told me that, she never told me that she missed all of those things.
"Workaholic..." Jeffrey jokes, and El rolls her eyes. "I didn't think you'd be showing this much... How does it feel being all.." Jeffrey fades off, and El smiles.
"Fat and pregnant? It's annoying if I'm honest, but I'm getting used to it." She tells him, and I'm so proud of her...
"You really are glowing, goodness El you're beautiful." Glenne helps her from the stool, and we walk into their living room together.
"Thank you.. I feel like a whale most of the time honestly... but thank you." She's never been one to take compliments well, but I see her trying right now. I pick up her feet, and put them on my lap as she rests her back on the couch.
"When do you find out the gender?" Jeff asks, and I look to El.
"Well we're at ten weeks now.. We're going to keep going back for regular check ins but normally you don't find out till eighteen weeks. We've got a while, but I have a feeling I've got a boy in here." She tells him, and she's got the softest smile on her lips.
"Oh let us throw you a gender reveal party! We'll invite everyone, and we can... you look like you just heard the worst idea ever." Glenne stops herself, and I laugh at El's expression.
"I have never understood those parties to be completely honest... We need to tell everyone first honestly.. You two along with Anthony are the only ones who know. We've got to tell Anne, and Gemma... My mom, Stevie, Kid, Alessandro... I just know that they're all going to be excited... well I hope they are, but either way. When they figure out the genders I want to know right away." El tells her, and I'm glad as she speaks because I don't want to wait either. I want a baby girl, god I'd beg for a baby girl if I could. She'd be perfect in every way, I'd teach her piano, and I know she'd have soft brown curls, and the sweetest round eyes.
"Harry?" Jeffrey snaps me out of my thoughts. "Have you thought about how you're going to tell the fans? She can't stay in hiding forever." He nods to El, and I smirk.
"I've got an idea.. But we can't do it until she's farther along anyway.. It fits better that way.. That way we're more sure, but I think it's perfect." I tell him, and he waves his hand.
"Okay, so what is it?" He asks, and I smile to myself, knowing El doesn't know either.
"Guess you'll have to wait and see... You know I like to keep you on your toes." I smile, and he shakes his head, but El looks to me, she admires me, she smiles at me with her eyes, and I melt in her stare. She's not giving me one child, she's giving me two... She's giving me everything, and I've done nothing to deserve it, but I'm selfish enough to take it.
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Song: Beside You by Mariana's Trench.
YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FAITH IN ME!!! I NEVER WOULD HAVE DONE WHAT YALL THOUGHT I DID!!! ISBWISNAKJSJSE
I LOVE YOU GUYS
I LOVE DAD HARRY CONTENT SUBDKWNSJD
also you guys aren't ready to see the way Harry announces the baby... bout to rock your world.
Also how do you think El and Harry's moms will react?
ALSO what gender (s) are y'all wanting?