What do you call a coughing Quidditch commentator? A Weasley!
What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells? Gifted.
Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? They were following Draco, do you need more info? (UNINTENTIONAL RHYMING!)
Did you hear about the witch who won the lottery? Yeah, she went completely Knuts!
Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him Moody!
What kind of cereal do they serve at Hogwarts? Hufflepuffs =3
What do Harry Potter and Charlie Brown have in common? They're both in love with the little girl with red hair.
Why did Death Eaters cross the road? The Dark Lord ordered it!
Why do Slytherins cross the road twice? Because they are double-crossers!!
Why did the Hufflepuff charm her hair blonde? To look intelligent.
Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road? So you'll never know which side he's on... sneaky Severus.
How many centaurs does it take to light up a single wand? Two... one to say the spell and the other to keep remarking how bright the wand is tonight.
How many Death Eaters does it take to stir a cauldron? Just one. He puts his wand in the cauldron and the earth revolves around him.
Q: How many Slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb? 5... 1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say with their fathers connection at the ministry they could screw it faster.
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? None - wizards don't use electricity!
Why did the Dark Lord cross the road? Because Potter couldn't stop him now!
Why did Trevor cross the road? To get away from Longbottom.
Did you hear about the Hufflepuff who gave his Kneazle a bath? He is still trying to get the fur off his tongue!
You're such a Muggle, you thought the floo network was on channel 54.
How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Weaselys don't screw in a lightbulb. They screw in the Burrow.
How many Slytherins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to blackmail a Hufflepuff.
How many Hufflepuffs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? All of them..
Three girls are all first years: a Hufflepuff, a Ravenclaw, and a Slytherin... which is the sexiest? The Hufflepuff, because she is seventeen.
Why did Dumbledore cross the road? He was following the poisoned lemon drops.
Why did the Weaselys cross the road? Somebody tossed a knut!
How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the room.
Why did the Hufflepuff return his House tie? It was too tight. (I didn't understand it either, but I want to see if anyone gets the answer!)
What do you get when you cross a Ravenclaw with the infirmary? Ill-literacy!
What do you get when you cross Crookshanks with McGonagall? Really ugly kittens.
What do you get when you cross Sirius Black with Remus Lupin? Really stupid puppies. (Should've been Resourceful or Smart..)
How many normal Seekers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he gets a hundred and fifty points for it =3
How many Keepers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just suffer through in the darkness and angst about it.
How many Beaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two... one to hit the bulb with his bat, the other to see what's going on, hit the first with his bat, and then change the lightbulb.
I hope you enjoyed Chapter 3, I should have Chapter 4 out tomorrow!