The only physical intimacy Jessica and Alan had going on was sharing a bed - Alan was not doomed to sleep on the couch any longer -, stealing a kiss every now and then and in rare occasions holding each other's hands. Even though they both knew they wanted to take it further than that but couldn't. But the mental intimacy - damn. The feeling they shared while looking at each other or just being near each other was just pure sexual tension, and it drove them both mad. But still, Alan didn't lay one hand on her when they slept in the same bed, and Jessica didn't drive him mad with making out anymore. And it wasn't just sexual tension, it was also as if they had a personal understanding with each other.
Jessica had no idea when it had happened, but since a few days it was as if she could read Alan's mind just by the look on his face, as he seemed to be able with hers. It felt weird, scary and familiar at the same time. Maybe it was because they had been living together for an intense amount of time, Jessica thought. Even though they didn't know each other for so long, they had spent an intense three weeks together.
It didn't even feel like three weeks since Jessica left New York. It felt way longer, as if New York was a different life. In a certain way it was; her life had changed so much since she stayed over with Alan in Los Angeles, and maybe only for the better. She missed New York though, with its cold and most likely grey winter days, its hurried people and its crowded loneliness. She almost even missed Sarah. Sarah, who had texted her 'Merry Christmas!' but didn't wish her a Happy New Year. Sarah, who had ditched her as soon as she got a chance to move out on her, and never looked back or seemed to care. Sarah, who had always promised never to leave her alone, just like Alan would always say - but at least Alan had kept to his words. For now.
Jessica shook her head at that thought and fought it back. She needed to stop thinking that way, needed to stop assuming that everyone in her life would leave her eventually. Alan wouldn't, she was sure. Alan was too good of a person for that. He cared about her, even loved her - he had said so herself. But so had Sarah...
'Argh!,' Jessica let out, throwing her head on her arms on the breakfast bar. Alan turned around, frowning at her. He was making her breakfast before he had to leave. He was already dressed, wearing a black skinny jeans with ripped knees and a plain black shirt while his hair was up in a small, messy bun. His appearance drove her positively mad on the inside, and she hated that he had to go today.
'What's with you?,' he asked, bringing his attention back to the egg he was scrambling.
'Nothing,' she muttered. 'Just... thoughts.'
'Oh.' They both stayed quiet, until Alan divided the egg over two plates with toast and avocado, and put one in front of her. 'Eat.'
'Hmm, I'm not hungry,' Jessica whined a bit, staring at her plate. Alan's face fell.
'You need to eat.'
'I don't want egg, it smells and I feel sick.' Jessica scrunched her nose and Alan sighed, then chuckled. He leant over the bar and kissed her nose.
'You sure you're not pregnant?,' he asked jokingly. Jessica made a face and pushed him away.
'No! And it's not something to joke about, Alan!' He chuckled nonetheless.
'You're right... Hey, I gotta go meet the band in the studio today, do you think you will be fine alone for a while?' He looked at her while he took a bite of his toast. Jessica bit her lip; it would be the first time she would be alone for a whole day here, and she had no idea what to do or where to go. That said, she had no money to go anywhere, or to do or buy anything, let alone with someone she knew. Because besides Alan, she hardly really knew anyone here.
But still she nodded and smiled, hoping it would convince him. Alan narrowed his eyes a bit.
'You sure?'
'Yeah... I'll just stay here and do nothing I guess.' At that he laughed.
'You can go out. The weather is lovely outside, it would be a waste to stay in.'
'And go where?,' she muttered, pushing her egg around her plate with her fork.
'I don't know - the beach. Down town? Go shopping.'
'With what money, Alan?,' Jessica laughed joylessly. 'I am as broke as a homeless person on Hollywood Avenue! Dude, I can hardly afford the air I breathe! Honestly...' She sighed and hid her face in her hands, ignoring his annoying chuckle.
'I'll give you some mo -'
'No!,' she let out. 'I'll just get a job... I need to save money to go back to New York anyway.' She looked up at the sound of Alan dropping his fork, seeing him stare at her.
'What do you mean?,' he asked, every hint of his careless joy being gone in his voice.
'Well...,' Jessica started without knowing how to continue. 'I mean... I can't stay here forever, Alan.'
'Yes, you can.' He hadn't even picked up his fork yet, was only staring at her with unreadable eyes. Jessica huffed and shook her head.
'Al, come on.'
'Why do you want to go back to New York?,' he asked, sounding a bit hurt now. 'You don't like it here?'
'I do, I just... It's not that I particularly want to go back to New York - I have no one to go to anyway. I miss the city, but without the only person that I care about -' She looked at him and he smiled a bit. '- it's just another empty city. But I still have some business to take care of.'
'Well, you still have some business to take care of here too,' Alan threw back, walking up to her and leaning in with his hands on her thighs. He kissed her and she chuckled, softly pushing him away.
'I am being serious!'
'So am I,' Alan said. Jessica sighed and smiled a bit.
'I know. And I am very thankful for that, but I also feel like a burden.' She put her hand over Alan's mouth when he wanted to protest. 'I know you don't think I am, but I feel useless and like I am taking advantage of you. I spent my last real money on renting a small box to store the last things I have, and I could only pay for a month. It's time to go back and get my things.' She let go of him and Alan sighed.
'Fair enough...,' he muttered. 'As long as you come back.'
'Do you want me to?,' she teased, biting her lip and throwing him an innocent look. Alan grunted and cupped her face.
'Yes, I really want you to come back.' Then he kissed her, long and tender, until the doorbell rang. 'Guess that's Austin.' He sadly let go of her and Jessica trailed her eyes after him while he opened the door to reveal, indeed, Austin.
'Yo, are you ready?,' Austin asked while he bounced in. 'First day in the studio, baby! Oh, hey Jess!' He smiled when he saw her, his eyes scanning her sitting on a bar stool with her legs cris-crossed, her hair still messy from sleeping and wearing one of Alan's shirt since her only pyjamas were in the laundry. He smirked a bit at that realization and looked at Alan, who was packing his backpack. 'How are you doing?'
'I'm okay,' Jessica answered, sliding off the stool and suddenly being very aware of her bare legs and how short the shirt actually was. She tried to pull it down a bit. 'How are you?'
'Fine,' Austin answered, still looking at her with a smirk and then looking back at Alan again. 'You ready, Ashby?'
'Yeah, just let me -' He pulled out his wallet and took a bill of fifty dollars out. 'Jess, could you please buy some groceries? I don't know what time I'll be home tonight.'
'Eh, sure,' she said in surprise, taking the bill from him. He smiled and leant in to her.
'Go buy something for yourself too, okay?' Jessica frowned and shook her head, but Alan nodded and put his hand on her cheek, then kissed her. 'I'll see you tonight. Call or text me when you need me, I might not answer immediately because we're in the studio.' He let go of her and walked up to Austin, whose grin couldn't be any bigger now. He stared at Jessica, who threw a defiant look back, annoyed with how amusing her crush on Alan apparently was to him. 'The car keys are on the kitchen counter!,' Alan said before getting out.
'Dude, are you guys dating?,' she heard Austin asked hopefully when he closed the door behind him. Jessica grunted and sat back on her bar stool, looking around and suddenly feeling alone.
'What am I supposed to do with myself...' First of, she started cleaning up the kitchen. Alan was a good cook, but he was also a messy one. So she unpacked the dishwasher and loaded it again, and cleaned the kitchen counter. She took out the trash and then started tidying up and vacuuming the living room, then the bedroom. She changed the sheets on the bed and dusted off the statues and books on the shelf, then even watered the almost dead plant in the window. At last, she cleaned the bathroom and did some laundry, then took a long shower herself.
It felt good to be useful for once, and while she had been busy cleaning, in her mind she had went over a lot of things that had kept her busy lately; going back to New York, not having any money, Sarah, what it was between her and Alan.
The question of Austin had her thinking, even more after Alan had just kissed her right in front of him. Maybe it was Alan's way of showing both her and his best friend that he was ready for the next step in their uncomplicatedly complicated relationship, and that was - making it official?
Jessica frowned at that thought while she rinsed her hair and ran her hands through it before shutting off the shower. Did she want to make it official with Alan? Did he want to make it official? This was the reason she never dated; it made everything so uncertain and complicated, and somehow her confidence was still a bit low.
For the hundredth, maybe thousandth time in those past weeks the thought of how Alan could be so in love with her as he always told her popped up. How could a guy that was always so positive, and so kind, who was admired by lots of girls that he could easily get, be in love with a grumpy, troubled, dark-mooded person like her? Jessica still didn't understand, and on bad days, when her anxiety ran high, she didn't believe it either. But today she felt quite okay, and the idea that Alan cared so deeply about her found some ground in her mind and made her smile.
She looked in the mirror and wasn't unhappy with was she saw. She had always liked her long, black hair and her blue eyes. Her face was still pale, despite the sunshine she had been in lately. Her cheekbones were visible since she had lost some weight, but her eyes and skin weren't as dull as before anymore.
She decided that she was in the mood to get dressed nicely and do her hair and makeup, something she hadn't done in a long while. After she was finished, she walked into the kitchen and ran her fingers over the few cookbooks Alan had. Her eyes fell on an Italian one and she smiled; she loved Italian, and cooking that cuisine was something she was good at. She sat down at the bar and looked through the book until she came to a small post-it on a page with 'need to try this' written on it in Alan's handwriting. Great, mushroom risotto it is then.
She made a shopping list and checked what other groceries they needed before she went out. It was weird to drive in a car again, because Jessica couldn't think of the last time she had done so. In New York, her and Sarah hadn't owned a car. But it felt weirdly freeing to do so, to be able to get in and get off where ever you wanted. She enjoyed her trip to the grocery store with her window open and the music on, even though it wasn't that warm outside and her hands were moist from driving in a hectic city she didn't know. She almost panicked once, but managed to contain herself until she reached the grocery store.
Without any trouble she bought her groceries and put the change in her purse, making sure to give it back to Alan when he came home tonight. Proud at her accomplishments today, she drove back home and put everything in its place. Then she sighed and looked around contently, hoping Alan world be just as happy with her hard work as she was.
While watching tv to kill the time until he came back, her phone went off and she picked up, surprised it was the general practitioner calling her back to tell her that none of her STD-test had come back positive. She was really happy with that, and texted Alan that she had to tell him something tonight when he came home. He didn't respond, and she was a bit bummed, but he had warned her about it.
And just as she thought that nothing could ruin her good day, her phone went off again. And this time it was Sarah's name popping up.
Jessica frowned and stared at her screen for a while, not knowing whether to pick up or not. Eventually, she clicked the call away and threw her phone on the pillow next to her, biting her lip. Her mood dropped instantly dropped and instead of watching tv she retreated into her own mind again until she sternly spoke to herself.
'You're not gonna let this bitch ruin your day. Come on, she isn't worth it.' Jessica sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. Think of positive things. She thought about how she had enjoyed the nice weather today, and driving in Alan's car with the window down, and the music on the radio. She thought about how she had cleaned the house and how she was going to cook him a nice meal to show him how thankful she was to him. Are you guys dating?!
She inhaled deeply and opened her eyes. Maybe she wanted an answer to that question as much as Austin did. The fact that she had no idea what Alan had answered made her a bit insecure. What if he had told Austin they weren't? But the truth is they weren't. Were they?
Again her phone went off, and again Jessica declined Sarah's call. She had no idea what her former best friend would want from her now, after almost two months of not talking. It annoyed her, and it hurt her even more. Knowing Sarah, she would only be calling just to tell Jessica about her next life changing decision. Maybe she was getting married. Or she was pregnant. Or both.
Jessica couldn't care less. Sarah had just dumped her for her boyfriend and never looked back. Instead of going through her darkest times with the one person she had always trusted and needed, she had gone through it alone, and she would never forgive Sarah for that.
Her phone beeped and for a moment Jessica thought Sarah would have texted her, but to her happy surprise it was Alan telling her he would be home soon. She smiled and suddenly the dark clouds that had packed over her head disappeared and her happy mood came back.
She decided to start cooking, chopping an onion while blinking her eyes against the tears and grating a few garlic cloves. Jessica had only made risotto once before, and all she remembered was that the rice shouldn't be too moist but also not too dry. She followed the recipe and when the rice was simmering with the onion and garlic and some white wine, she set the bar for two and decided to light some candles she had bought to set the atmosphere.
She was just baking the mushrooms and stirring in the almost finished risotto before adding the two together when she heard the front door open and Alan coming in - but he was not alone.
'What smells so good in here?,' Austin's voice asked. Jessica closed her eyes and made a face. Please, no. Just Alan. Please. But Austin busted in before Alan closed the door behind them.
'Hey,' Jessica said, managing a smile. Austin and Alan both stared at her standing there with a pan of mushroom risotto on the stove. Austin's eyes trailed over the scene; the freshly cooked food, the set bar and the candles, and Jessica being dressed and with makeup on. And just like this morning, a smirk spread on his face and he looked from Jessica to Alan and back.
'Hi,' Alan said, sounding and looking surprised. 'What's all this?'
'Eh...' Jessica didn't know what to answer, so she just shrugged, feeling stupid now.
'Well, Aust, I guess our plan to order pizza has to wait,' Alan then said. Austin chuckled and still stared at Jessica, who's face turned pink.
'I have enough for three,' she muttered, looking into her pan. 'I'll just get you a plate -'
'No, don't bother,' Austin said. 'I don't wanna cockblock Alan.' He grinned and nudged Alan, who threw him a dirty look.
'Shut up, Carlile,' he gruntled. Jessica bit her lip and held in a chuckle.
'I don't think you are the reason Alan isn't getting any, Austin,' Jessica retorted, throwing him a defiant look. Austin laughed at that.
'I know, don't worry. I just like to annoy him.'
'It's your talent,' Alan muttered, pushing Austin's hand away when he wanted to ruffle his ginger hair. 'Fuck off. Now leave, I've got to get cockblocked.' At that Austin laughed even harder and he waved at Jessica, who couldn't hold in a chuckle either. She watched Alan kick Austin out and sigh when he closed the front door behind him.
'I'm sorry, if I had known that you had planned this, I wouldn't have... you know, taken him with me.' Alan stumbled over his words a bit and ran his fingers through his hair, leaving his hand in his neck while looking at her. Jessica smiled.
'Don't worry, it's fine. I just wanted to surprise you.' She motioned Alan to go sit at the bar and he did, still looking a bit surprised at the candles and the setting.
'Well, you managed to pull that off,' he admitted. She smiled and asked if he wanted a glass of wine and he agreed. 'What did you cook?'
'Mushroom risotto,' she answered happily. Alan frowned a bit and watched her dish out the risotto, his eyes trailing her every move while sipping from his wine. 'And I cleaned the house today.' At that, his eyes darkened and he put his wine down, getting up from his barstool and walking around the bar until he was standing right in front of her. 'Sit down, dinner is -' She couldn't even finish her sentence because Alan pulled her in and kissed her. 'Alan -'
'Sssh.' He shut her up again with his lips on hers, and Jessica finally gave in. She got goose bumps when his fingers brushed over her bare skin as her shirt crept up a bit when he grabbed her waist and her heart stopped beating for a second when he softly pushed her into the kitchen counter - but in a good way. There was no panic, not yet, because this was Alan kissing her and no one else.
'Why did you do all this?,' he muttered when he pulled away to breathe for a second. Jessica stared at him, not agreeing with this interruption and she carefully brushed her lips over his.
'Because...,' she whispered. 'I wanted to feel useful. And to celebrate that my STD-tests came all back negative.' He smiled and bit his lip, leaning his forehead against hers. '
'So you had a good day today?' Jessica shrugged.
'I guess.'
'I'm glad to hear that.' Alan let his fingers play with her hair a bit and she smiled. Then she softly pushed him away from her.
'Let's eat before it's getting cold, I didn't make all this effort for nothing.' Alan pouted a bit, his eyes still dark with that lustful look that she grew to know so well in the past days. It was driving her crazy, and every fibre in her body almost screamed to give in and just do him, but her head didn't let her.
So instead, she sat down next to him at the bar, sipping from her wine.
'How does it taste?,' she asked him. Alan took a bite of his risotto and rolled his eyes, grunting a bit.
'Where did you get this recipe, it's so good!' She smiled shyly.
'In one of your cookbooks,' she chuckled. He frowned.
'I have cookbooks?' She then laughed and nodded, pointing at the few books on top of the fridge. 'Oh...' Jessica shook her head at his silliness.
'Now tell me about your day,' she demanded, wanting to know everything. Alan told her about the meeting with the band, their manager and the producer, about how they pitched in ideas for songs and how Austin and Aaron had already written some lyrics.
'I like the process of trying out tunes and ideas. It's like they just come to my mind when I read lyrics, or when Austin or Aaron try different ways of expressing what they wrote.' He took another bite of his food and seemed to think for a moment. Meanwhile Jessica hadn't even had one bite, because she wasn't hungry in the slightest. All she could do was just stare at him and think of how crazy she was about him, and how much she wanted to kiss him right now.
He told along about the jokes he made with the guys, the funny things Phil had told him, the in-depth convo about music he had had with Aaron and Tino. But not a word about what he talked about with Austin about them.
'Aren't you hungry?,' he asked her, looking at her still full plate while his was finished.
'Oh...,' she begun, being pulled out of her thoughts. 'No, not really.' Alan threw her an amused look and Jessica emptied her glass of wine. 'Not for food, anyway.' Shit, did she say that out loud? Alan's lips curled up in a smirk at her words.
'Then for what?,' he asked, leaning in towards her. Jessica bit her lip and looked at him from under her lashes.
'You know...,' she muttered.
'No, I don't,' Alan said, still looking amused and still with that smirk on his lips. Jessica narrowed her eyes at him.
'Then you're either dumb or not feeling the same as me,' she said. He laughed and then kissed her again, and Jessica immediately gave in. She couldn't handle the tension between them any longer, and agreed with herself that no matter how hard her mind would protest, she would just give in to what her body craved for so badly.
Alan slid off his barstool and got to stand in between her legs, pulling her closer by her waist. Instead of listening to her mind telling her he was getting to close, Jessica closed the remaining space between them and let her lips sync with his. Again, his fingers softly brushed over the skin under her shirt, and again she ignored the warning sign that her body sent her. She convinced herself that her heart was racing from being so in love with Alan, not because she was going into a panic attack.
Their kissing turned into making out, and Jessica's body was so confused with whether she enjoyed it and wanted to go for it or it was a danger and she had to end it right now. But she didn't want to end it, because she had never wanted to be touched by anyone so badly ever before. Even if it meant panicking.
'Alan?,' she whispered when he softly went on kissing her jawline.
'Hmm?'
'Love me.' At that he stopped and looked at her.
'I do,' he muttered, locking his lips on hers again. Jessica pulled away.
'No,' she said, making him look up at her again. She gulped and inhaled before continuing, hoping she was doing the right thing. 'Love me.' She looked at his eyes, that went from lustful to surprised and then to almost shocked.
'You mean -'
'I can't stand this tension anymore, Alan. My body is craving to be loved again and wipe out every bad memory it has, and I want it to be you. It has to be you.' He just stared at her as if she had said something shocking.
'Jess, I...'
'Please?' She softly kissed him again and felt him tense up under her hands now. He inhaled deeply and looked at her again.
'I don't want to make things worse on you,' he muttered, letting his fingers run over her long hair. His eyes scanned her face for any hesitance, but Jessica wasn't hesitating; she was sure. That seemed to make Alan realize, because the look in his eyes darkened again and without a warning he kissed her, his hands running up to her neck and his fingers winding in her hair. Jessica gave in, immediately. All her fear was gone, and even if there was some left she pushed it away and ignored it while Alan carefully but demandingly dragged her to his bedroom.
There was no pause, not a word spoken or a sound made other than their faint breathing or a soft, longing chuckle while they pulled each other's clothes off and ended up in bed. It was weird how Jessica had never had a problem with taking her clothes off in front of guys, because it always led to having sex and that was all she wanted from them. But right now it wasn't the case. She didn't want just sex from Alan, she wanted him to show her how it was to be loved in the right way, and suddenly it made her nervous. What if it wasn't what she expected it to be? What if it felt like every other one night stand she'd had with men? What if it made her think about the last time she had -
'Are you okay?,' Alan quietly muttered while he hovered above her, letting his lips trail over the skin in her neck. The only thing they were both still wearing was their underwear, and Jessica could feel the heat radiate from his chest on to hers and his breath on her skin.
'Yes,' she answered breathlessly. Alan stopped what he was doing and brought his face back to hers.
'You're hyperventilating.' Suddenly she noticed she was, and she tried to inhale deeply but her breath got stuck in her chest. 'Are you sure you want to do this?,' he asked, suddenly sounding serious. She nodded, trying to get rid of the tension in her chest and breathe in deeply. Alan just kept looking down at her, running his fingers through her hair in a soothing rhythm that made her calm down after a while. It felt like she could finally catch her breath again, and Alan smiled softly.
'I don't wanna hurt you.'
'Trust me, you won't,' she whispered back, looking up at him in awe.
'Tell me when you're not comfortable, okay?' She nodded and held her breath with closed eyes as his hand found its way to her back and his fingers opened her bra. He was so gentle, so careful, but still -
'Don't come up with the 'I can't do this' bullshit, we both knew this was going to happen when you went home with me.'
Jessica inhaled sharply and opened her eyes, looking not at Dave but at Alan. Alan stared back, wanting to say something, but she just pulled him in and kissed him to shut him up. Please continue, she thought. Alan understood her hint and deepened their kiss, letting one of his hands find its way from her side to her breast. She froze and tried so hard to block out the memory of Dave roaming his hands over her naked skin, but it took her a lot of effort.
'You're tense,' Alan stated softly. 'Jess, are you sure you wanna -'
'Please. Please, Alan. Love me.'
'I want to, but I don't want you to be so tensed up about it! I want you to enjoy it too!'
'Then make me calm down. Make me get over it.' She was almost begging him, and she could see the internal war behind his eyes when he leaned over her again and looked at her. Her breathing was back to hyperventilating and she bit her lip. Alan sighed and closed his eyes, nuzzling his nose against hers. Jessica was on the verge of crying right now. It wasn't that she didn't want this, it was just that her body froze and blocked as soon as someone touched her intimately. But this is Alan, she reminded herself, shivering a bit when his scent filled her nose, his breath stroked her skin and his fingers ran down her side. He looked at her again.
'Close your eyes,' he whispered. She did as he said and gulped a bit when he brought his mouth near her ear and quietly said: 'Remember it's me, okay? Just me.' He kissed the sore spot behind her ear and trailed down. 'I won't hurt you.' His lips found her collarbone and kissed her there.
Jessica was so caught up in following his touches and listening to his words that for a long moment she didn't think of anything else than that, until -
'I want to go home!'
'Go home?'
'Yeah...'
'I didn't think so...'
The hands that slowly grabbed at her body scared her, and her fingers tightened around the arms they were on.
'Sssh... It's me,' a warm voice soothed her. Alan. Jessica inhaled and shivered again as his touches were all over her body. 'Exhale...' She did as he told her and relaxed a bit.
'Let me go!'
'No.'
'I don't want to!'
'But I do, and I always get what I want.'
'Please,' Jessica whispered with her eyes still closed but tears rolling over her cheeks. Someone came back up to her and entangled their fingers of one of their hands with hers, wiping away her tears with the other.
'I love you, Jess.' Alan. 'Do you still want this?' She held in a sob and nodded.
'Yes.' He kissed her again, and one of his hands slid down between her legs.
'There's no reason to fight me, baby.'
But she wanted to fight; fight against the horrible memory of that one night, fight against the blockade that held her from enjoying this with Alan. Fight against everything that Dave had left her with.
Jessica tried to focus back on Alan, on his scent, his fingers that were not only very good at playing guitar and pulling strings, but also at pleasing her. And while he soothed her quietly, and she trained her mind to overwrite her memory of Dave with Alan, she slowly but surely relaxed a bit.
Alan noticed too, because he smiled a bit when he kissed her, still slowly continuing with driving her crazy with his touches. Jessica's fingers tightened around his upper arms and she let out an involuntary moan. That made Alan realize that she was doing okay, and he took things a bit further. Jessica let him, trusting him with every fibre in her body even though she was shaking with nerves when they were both naked and ready. It almost felt like the first time...
Alan stroke her hair out of her face and kissed her.
'You okay?' She nodded, bringing her hand to his face and running her fingers over his stubbly cheek.
'I just want you,' she whispered. Alan smiled and continued, watching her reaction when he carefully took over her body. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, forgetting how to breathe or how to function. Her fingers dug deeper into his arms, his lips in her neck distracting her from whatever tension she was still feeling. There was no pressure, no pushing and no forcing. There was only her and Alan, and all their longing and attraction. Within a minute Jessica had forgotten about Dave, because all her mind was filled with was Alan, and Alan alone. He knew what he was doing, he understood her needs, he cared about her, and he was showing her without a spoken word tonight.
'Just let love flow through you and enjoy.'
That was the only thing she remembered of Dave when she reached her high, her body overwhelmed, her fingers locked with Alan's and her heart exploding with the love she felt right then.