[8 months after the accident]
A few weeks later, their promise of not fighting anymore turns to nothing. They start arguing again but this time is not over random things, this time is because Jungkook has finally managed to gain the courage to confront Yoongi on what he had otherwise overlooked before. It started a day after they agreed on not fighting anymore that Jungkook came home early, as he didn’t do anymore, and found Yoongi smoking in the balcony.
“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked him and as if it was nothing, Yoongi answered “Just smoking” So Jungkook took the cigarette from his hand, threw it to the floor and stepped on it while Yoongi looked at him annoyed. “What’s gotten into you?” Yoongi had asked and even though Jungkook didn’t want to fight, he remembered what Jimin had said before replying “I better not see you smoking again” Yoongi huffed, kind of mocked him but his expression fell when he realized that Jungkook was serious.
“Or what?” He had challenged, and Jungkook hesitated on what to say. He knew he didn’t have to make it a threat, he had to make it a warning. So Jungkook gave him a pointed look “I better not see you smoking again” he repeated before going into the house again. Needless to say that Yoongi didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night and neither did he let him cuddle around him when they went to bed. Since that day, it has been the same.
Yoongi doesn’t eat dinner, they fight. Yoongi drinks a little too much, they fight. Yoongi smokes (again) they fight.
The only thing that’s changed is that they are not heated arguments anymore. Rather is Jungkook being the one who gets mad and Yoongi just avoids him. Is childish. It resembles the relationship a parent would have with their child and even though Jungkook doesn’t like it, he can’t deny that Yoongi is cute when he sulks. His lips become even more pouty, his cheeks often turn red and he looks equally as upset as he looks gorgeous so Jungkook has trouble refraining himself from kissing him.
But no matter how much Jungkook likes Yoongi, how badly he wants to kiss him, how long he waits for the opportunity to do so. The arguments don't cease and Yoongi picks up a bad habit every week. He starts drinking a little too much or driving a little fast and Jungkook is getting scared. So much that one good day at work, he explodes.
Jungkook is an artist for a publishing company. He is in charge of the art in the covers of books, albums, CDs and pretty much anything else he's given to work on. He likes his job but on this particular day, he works on the art of a romantic novel. A girl and a boy looking away from each other as they hold out their hands in the distance, trying but not quite reaching each other. It is just another piece, one of the many Jungkook has done. But as he draws, the art suddenly hits deep.
Spring Day- one of his favorite songs- echoes through his earphones and all of a sudden, he doesn't see the girl and the boy in the drawing anymore. He sees Yoongi and himself.
He sees how they are trying, because they really are. How badly they want to hold hands but they are on different directions, their eyes don't meet, their bodies are moving further way. So as the song goes on, Jungkook becomes unable to keep drawing. He knows he and Yoongi are drifting away despite their efforts and he is really not ready to let go.
He loves Yoongi, no matter how much he drinks, whines, or smokes. He loves him and he knows Yoongi loves him too but maybe they have reached a point where love is simply not enough.
The thought makes Jungkook shiver and before he knows it, a tear rolls down his face. He tries to contain it but it's been so long since he last cried, since he last let his emotions flow. He doesn't cry, he doesn't react anymore. He has swallowed everything he's been given and now it seems like it needs to come out. So his eyes get watery, his throat feels dry and in less than a second after, he sobs. It all comes down on him and it hurts. It hurts so much.
Yoongi is his best friend, his soulmate, his boyfriend, his saviour, his everything. Yoongi is his world and he is losing him day by day. He sobs again, again and again. Until warm arms settle around him, a chin pressed on the crown on his head. Jungkook instinctively reaches for the arm around his shoulders and holds from it as hard as he can.
"That's okay, Jungkookie, cry. I am here, you can cry" Taehyung tells him and Jungkook has no other choice but to listen. He cries harder, distantly hears as Taehyung closes the office door. It is just them now. Tae hugs him harder and Jungkook feels almost guilty as he is comforted by the person he confused Yoongi with. He can't help it though. It hurts. He's hurt and Yoongi is too, so it hurts even more.
It takes Jungkook several minutes to calm down. Taehyung strokes his back soothingly.
"You okay?" He asks when Jungkook seems calm enough to talk. Jungkook presses a piece of paper against his eyes, a little piece from it getting stuck in between his long eyelashes. Taehyung doesn't hesitate on reaching out to clean it from Kook's face.
"Wanna talk about it?" Taehyung tries a different approach and Jungkook knows he shouldn't. He knows he should not put his vulnerabilities into Taehyung because he is searching for something in Kook that he is not willing to give. Something that already belongs to Yoongi, who chooses to reject it every single day. Jungkook knows he shouldn't and yet he feels so upset, so lonely in this battle that he thinks talking about it is the only way. Even if it's just for a little while, he wants to feel free.
"It's my boyfriend" he begins, softly, carefully. Taehyung takes a seat next to him. Looks at Jungkook with focused and concerned eyes, hands Jungkook a piece of toilet paper. Much needed right now.
"You did say you were not in the best terms" Taehyung hits the nail on the head. Jungkook isn't even sure when he mentioned that to Taehyung but he is glad that he has somewhat of a premise.
"It all started when his best friend passed…"
Jungkook hasn't told anyone about this. Not his parents, not even his brother. Whenever they ask about Yoongi, Jungkook tells them that he is busy while he is often just at home alone because Jungkook has left him there. Unable to confront him after their arguments or fearing his own reaction if Yoongi says one more thing. After all, the greatest victory is that which requires no battle.
Talking about such a personal topic might not be the most professional thing he's ever done at his job, where each hour is paid for him to work, not talk. Even so, he tells Taehyung everything, fully aware that he is probably trusting the wrong person but he doesn't have anyone else. Jimin's gone back to Busan and he hasn't heard of Seokjin in months.
Taehyung listens and hands him pieces of paper whenever he cries harder. Jungkook doesn't know if he's lost or if he has just gotten used to feeling hopeless. He is so tired of crying but there isn't much else he can do. Everything he has tried has failed and now Yoongi is on a darker place. He smokes, he drinks, he drives recklessly, he doesn't eat a lot and fights Jungkook loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
His once fairytale with his college sweetheart has turned into a hell of despair and Jungkook is trying to hang on but the thread he is grabbing will soon break.
"And now, he is someone I've never met. Taehyung- ah. I don't know what to do" he finishes his story bitterly, Taehyung nods. His expression is really blank as if he was drained of thoughts. Jungkook sighs and new tears run down his cheeks. Fall from his eyes as lost raindrops on an August afternoon.
Taehyung sets his hand to rest on top of Jungkook's where it lies on his thigh.
"I'm sorry" he says quietly as he presses his fingers tighter around Kook's. The latter just nods, is not pity that he is looking for. He doesn't know if he words that out or if Taehyung is intuitive enough to sense it.
"Jungkook- ah, don't take this the wrong way" he adverts, Jungkook lifts his eyes to him. "But I think your boyfriend needs professional help"
Jungkook lifts an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"Jungkook- ah, your boyfriend needs counseling" Taehyung repeats, clearer this time. He looks at Jungkook as if fearing his reaction, his hand now fully grabs Kook's fingers and Jungkook feels awfully conflicted.
He hadn't even considered the idea of counseling during this whole time. He knows Yoongi will not like it. But maybe is a good idea, maybe is a solution. If Yoongi accepts, which he already knows, he won't.
"Listen, Jungkookie. I've got a friend who is a psychologist. I can give you his number" Taehyung speaks so carefully. Jungkook is still unsure. He shakes his head, refusing the offer. Taehyung doesn't say anything else, just hugs him and lets Jungkook cry the few tears he hasn't let out yet.
It is unbelievable how much better he feels just from having told someone about this struggle that has been strangling him for months. It is nice to know someone's got his back. Whether it has an ulterior motive or not, because even in this state, where he feels extremely vulnerable, he can feel the way Taehyung presses a few stray kisses on his temple and his hair. The way his hands stroke his back a little too slowly, a little too possessive. He feels it in every inch of his body but he doesn't move.
Maybe Yoongi was right. Taehyung would indeed make him very happy.
Which is a though he shouldn't have! So as fast as it crosses his mind, he lets go of Taehyung.
"Thank you for listening" Jungkook says before standing up and heading for the bathroom. He doesn't hear what Taehyung answers and tries to pretend that he doesn't care about it.
The restroom is gracefully empty, Jungkook washes his face and looks at himself in the mirror. Maybe Yoongi's not the only one who has changed. Jungkook sees himself different as well. The bags under his eyes have gotten more prominent, maybe due to all the crying. His eyes look more fierce as those of an eagle getting ready to attack, which he always is when Yoongi. His lips are dry, not having received a lot of kisses lately. His cheeks are red and his hair is getting long and messy. Jungkook doesn't like what he sees. He doesn't like what Yoongi has turned him into and maybe that is enough of a reason to let go of him. Let Yoongi heal by himself on one go like Jimin had suggested, let him follow his own path and wait for they may find another lifetime to be together.
He has thought about it so much that Jungkook has started to believe it is inevitable. Perhaps him being with Yoongi is making the situation worse because Yoongi feels pressured with Jungkook. He has obligations as a boyfriend and perhaps that is exactly what Yoongi doesn't need right now. Jungkook certainly thinks this is not the relationship he had expected and for sure it is not the one he deserves. He wonders for a slight second if Yoongi would even miss him now. If he would look at the door with a frown after Jungkook leaves. If he would look for him, if he would be willing to put a fight. Is a selfish thought and Jungkook feels guilty for having it. Yoongi is already battling a monster way bigger than him and despite his best efforts, Jungkook has not been able to help. If anything he has made the situation worse, so leaving might not be the craziest idea. Maybe is the only way to save Yoongi.
Jungkook thinks of it for the few hours left he has at work and he thinks even more about it as he drives home. He checks on the buildings around, trying to think about where he would live. The apartment they now use is Yoongi's, so he would be the one to move out. He guesses he can stay at his parents for a while and the fact that he is already planning on his next steps is sinister and makes the acid inside his stomach boil and burn. He is scared.
But he's decided. He might be thought of as a coward for leaving the battle but really, this is not his battle to fight. It is Yoongi's and Jungkook has already tried to he his ally without luck. If Yoongi wants to fight alone, Jungkook is ready to let him do just that. He is tired of trying and he has been damaged as well. It may be the cruelest thing to think about himself while Yoongi vanishes in front of him but this is a cruel world and he needs to take care of himself too. His boyfriend might not be the same Min Yoongi he fell in love with but he is no longer the same Jeon Jungkook either and this last thing is simply unfair. He never intended to lose himself along the way. He hadn't done it. It's been Yoongi's fault.
Therefore, as he goes up to the apartment, Jungkook feels like is time. They are not going anywhere anymore. Is time they let go. He is ready to let go. Yoongi will be fine and he will be too. It has been really long since they haven't been, is time they find their way again.
Jungkook presses the code, the beep announces his arrival. He walks in with a heavy heart. This place has been his home for years, Yoongi has been his home for years, he can't help but think of how much he'll miss it. How hard it will be to start from zero on earth after having known heaven for a while.
He leaves his shoes on the rack, sees Yoongi's there and decides that is better if he does now. This conversation is long overdue and Jungkook feels guilty that when Yoongi tries to do it, he was the one who chickened out and held on from Yoongi as if his life depended on him. Which he believed it did but now is clear that it is getting destroyed.
He shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath and clenches his hands into fists as he takes the first step into the apartment. You're ready. He repeats to himself. You're ready.
He thinks as he approaches the light of the kitchen. There is noise but it somehow sounds numb to Jungkook.
You're ready.
He thinks again but then his eyes finally see him. Yoongi lets the little spoon he was holding fall in the sink and turns around.
"Welcome back" he says with a little smile. Jungkook stands there frozen, sees the two bowls set on the table. Fresh juice splitted perfectly into two glasses. He says nothing.
You're ready.
But then Yoongi turns around, stands on his toes to grab something from the high cabinet. "I made us dinner, hope you're hungry"
Jungkook still stands there, frozen. His nails press so hard into his palms that is starting to hurt. He opens his mouth but no sound comes out. Thankfully, Yoongi is too busy cooking to notice anything. "Why don't you go change while I finish this?" He says and Jungkook takes a little step back.
Is unfortunate that he clashes against the counter and a glass falls. Yoongi instantly turns around and for the first time tonight he eyes Jungkook properly. "You okay?" He asks as he approaches Jungkook. "Did you get hurt?"
You're not ready.
Jungkook has no idea why he is unable to speak, so he just shakes his head. Yoongi is fast to grab the little vacuum from the drawer and clean the mess. Jungkook remains a statue.
"There" Yoongi says when he's done. "Nothing happened" he then stands in front of Jungkook and his expression changes. His soft smile morphs into a frown. "Have you been crying?"
Jungkook can't answer but almost instinctively, he extends his arms and hugs Yoongi, bringing him close to his body. The action is so abrupt that Yoongi sort of whines at the sudden loss of air in his lungs. Jungkook sometimes wishes he was smaller, to fit around Yoongi's frame. So that he could hide under Yoongi's chin.
Is okay though, when Yoongi leaves the little vacuum on the counter and his hand instead goes to Jungkook's hair. Is okay as long as Yoongi is tall enough to pull on his locks softly. Is okay as long as Yoongi is tall enough for Jungkook to rest his head on him. Is okay as long as Yoongi is able to talk into his ear.
"What's wrong?"
Jungkook just hugs him tighter. Yoongi understands, he presses a little harder as well. It takes a few seconds, but is in here, while he takes in Yoongi's characteristic scent, that Jungkook is finally able to breathe. He figures he needs to be honest because his determination has fallen. "I just miss you"
Yoongi has always been very intuitive. He probably already knows what Jungkook means. Not that he misses him physically, is that he misses the Yoongi he used to be. So he remains speechless but hugs Kook a little harder.
"I need to tell you something, can we talk for a minute?" Jungkook asks because all those thoughts he had at work and on his way here they are not okay and they have the potential to grow. Jungkook doesn't want them to grow.
Yoongi eyes him carefully and nods. "Yea, let me just turn down the heat" He disentangles himself from Kook and goes to the stove, does a few things there and goes back to Jungkook. They walk together to the lounge and take a seat there. Yoongi looks at him with concern, especially after Jungkook's eyes settle on the pack of cigarettes on the table. Jungkook chooses to ignore it for now.
"Listen, hyung" he begins, Yoongi just looks at him. Gives him time and gives him space to talk. Jungkook tries to organize the ideas in his head, so that he speaks as clearly as possible. "Today, I broke down at the office"
"Why?" Yoongi frowns, grabs his hand. "Because of me?"
Jungkook nods "On my way here, I thought of how ready I am to break up with you hyung" he admits, sees the pain as it settles in Yoongi's eyes. How he tries to hide it with a clenched jaw. "These past months have been really difficult, Yoongi- hyung. I am running out of stamina"
Yoongi nods again, he probably has a lot to say but he remains quiet. Jungkook takes it as a request to continue.
"I wanna be here for you, be your strength but you won't let me and is exhausting" Jungkook sighs. "I really- really don't want to break up with you, hyung but I am getting those thoughts more and more frequently and soon, they won't be just thoughts, they'll transform into plans- they are actually starting to- and before we know it, we'll be over and we'll be alone"
It sounds really well, Jungkook is happy that he is expressing everything so well but then again, he realizes that he never had problems of this kind with his boyfriend. Yoongi always listens, he lets him speak his mind, makes it easy. It is sad that he kind of forgot about that, it makes him wonder what other wonderful things he forgot about their relationship, about Yoongi himself.
“I know I’ve been a lot to handle, Jungkookie. I’m sorry” Yoongi says when he finally speaks, Jungkook sees how damaged he is and it is then that he remembers the conversation with Taehyung. He is still doubtful, he still thinks he shouldn’t bring it up but really he isn’t sure if there is another way. Jungkook can’t do it by himself, that’s a given. He’s been trying for eight months with little to no success and if anything Yoongi has gotten worse, he knows what this will trigger but he guesses that is just one more to pack of arguments they have already had.
So it is with a heavy heart that Jungkook inhales, takes both of Yoongi’s hands before speaking “Hyung, would you consider going to counseling?”
His words have immediate effect, Yoongi lets go of his hands and looks at him as if he had just mistreated a puppy. Offended. “What?” he asks, and it is certainly not for clarification, he is giving Jungkook the chance of taking it back. Jungkook doesn’t.
“I asked if you’d be willing to go to counseling” he repeats, Yoongi stands up and his demeanour is not longer sweet or caring. He is upset, Jungkook knew this would happen but he guesses it was worth the try. They have fought so much already, what could possibly make a difference now?
“Are you suggesting I am crazy?” Yoongi speaks menacingly, Jungkook shakes his head. He hates that Yoongi has to be so dramatic for everything. He hates that he is making his only hope of getting out of this a big turmoil into something that it is not.
“I am not implying anything, I am saying you need help because you do, hyung” Jungkook says pointedly, a little loudly. Yoongi looks even more offended now. His eyebrows rise and his jaw clenches, if Jungkook didn’t know him better, he’d actually be scared. But really, there is not much else to lose. Not for Jungkook at least, so when he stands up again, he decides to put Jimin’s advice into action again. “Don’t you see it, Yoongi?” he loses the honorifics, guesses they do not matter anymore. “You smoke, you drink too much, this is the first time I’ve seen you wanting to have dinner in weeks, you are going through a hard time, I know. But I also know you’re a mess and I can’t fix you all by myself”
Maybe he should’ve toned that down a bit.
“If you don’t like me, then go ahead and break up with me already, Jungkook” Yoongi defends, Jungkook rolls his eyes. “Didn’t you say you have this whole thing planned? What are you waiting for, huh? Do it”
Jungkook feels rage growing inside of him. He would, he certainly would but there is always something that stops him. Something that is getting smaller with each passing day so there will come a time when he doesn’t have it anymore. When it is just too small and he will actually leave. The only thing that he doesn’t know is when exactly that’ll happen. One thing is for sure though, that is definitely not tonight.
“I am trying to help” he yells, frustrated. He is always so frustrated lately.
“You’re insulting me” Yoongi retorts and is even more frustrating. Jungkook has insulted him, yes, he has also been insulted by Yoongi but he is not doing that right now. “Is impossible to talk with you! I always think ‘oh my Jungkookie, he has grown up so much’ or ‘look how lucky I got with him’ but you always go ahead and prove me wrong, Jungkook. I am so tired of you”
It hurts, it hurts very badly but Jungkook is a clever man who somehow manages to think fast and turn his hurt into something useful. Into something like rage.
“You’re tired of me?” He gets closer to Yoongi now “Then imagine how fed up I am of you! Every fucking night I come home to a new tantrum of yours, if is not smoking, is alcohol, if it is not alcohol is using your car to sort of follow Hoseok…”
Yoongi gets close to him, too close. His eyes burn holes in Jungkook’s soul with their stare. “Take that back” he warns, Jungkook takes a step forward.
“You know, he’d be really disappointed on the person you’ve become Yoongi, especially with me” Jungkook adds fuel to the fire. Yoongi tangles his own hands behind his back, it gives Jungkook an idea of how mad his boyfriend is but he is furious and is tired of being sad. “Hoseok- hyung loved me very much, he appreciated me and always told me what a great guy I was. Well, he must be sad to see what you’ve done to me, Yoongi”
“Then leave, Jungkook” Is Yoongi’s rebuttal, not spoken as a yell but pointed enough for it to resonate on Jungkook’s mind. “Get the hell out then, go after your workmate, do whatever you want, I am as tired of this as you are”
Jungkook frowns, he’s had it. “If I do end up leaving, please know it is all your fault” He says at last before bumping into Yoongi and walking to the bathroom. He could really use a shower, some water will vanish his anger, he wishes it could vanish him as well. Turn back time, forbid Yoongi from ever going to meet Hoseok at that cafe, tell Jimin to stop him. He wishes he could do something about it. He wishes he could change the situation now without having to give Yoongi up. He wishes and wishes but wishes are no better than lies. Unfortunately, that is not a reality in which he can live.
ººº
Hours pass, Jungkook stays in the bedroom, he guesses Yoongi is in the lounge. The apartment is silent, as if there was no life around. Jungkook wonders if that is how it would feel if he lived by himself. Some more time passes in which Jungkook busies himself finishing the art he was supposed to do at work today, he draws, colors and highlights enclosed in the little bubble of safety he has created for himself.
It is only when he notices that is past midnight that he decides to go look around. That is certainly a mistake. There’s a reason Yoongi’s been quiet, he apparently has been drinking this whole time.
“Hyung?” Jungkook calls when he sees the empty bottle on the coffee table. Yoongi just turns to him.
“Go to sleep, Jungkookie” he answers sort of sweetly but that is not what Jungkook is looking for. Sure he misses the sweet way in which Yoongi talks to him, but he missed Yoongi as whole. Not his just his voice, not just the sweet nicknames.
Jungkook approaches. Yoongi faces away, he is trying to hide and with good reason because by the time Jungkook gets close enough and Yoongi is no longer able to turn his head even further, Jungkook sees it. The tears rolling down his cheeks, the red paint adorning every feature of his face, especially his nose. "Hyung"
Yoongi turns around, knowing he can't hide anymore. "Go to sleep baby. You don't deserve to see this" Jungkook sighs, lets his fingers trail under Yoongi’s eyes, cleaning the tears off his face. “Come with me” he asks but Yoongi shakes his head.
“Is okay, I’m okay, really. Jungkookie, you need to rest, go to sleep” Jungkook frowns, he doesn’t know what makes him more upset, the fact that Yoongi doesn’t want him to see when he’s feeling sad or that he just tried to lie about it. Either option is equally as bad, it makes Jungkook feel sick.
“I’m not going without you” Jungkook defies, Yoongi chuckles in between his soft sobs as he tries to stop crying. It is a fond little laugh, not sarcastic, not ironic.
“You’ve always been so stubborn” he says, presses his thumb on Jungkook’s cheek as if to softly pinch it. Jungkook lets a small smile form in his face. “Is my best quality” The comment makes Yoongi chuckle again.
Jungkook can tell that Yoongi is not drunk, thankfully the man’s gotten high alcohol tolerance but there are a few consumed cigarettes on the table. “You gotta stop smoking, hyung” Jungkook requests, Yoongi just shrugs.
“Don’t worry about it, Jungkookie” he tries to dismiss it and normally, this is the point in which Jungkook would explode. Tell Yoongi how that is poison for him, tell him that he shouldn’t be picking up bad habits as if he was a teenager. That is indeed what would normally happen, but Jungkook just can’t. Yoongi doesn’t cry often, not even after their arguments so seeing him like this has a big effect on Jungkook. He sort of just melts, he sort of just wants to hug Yoongi and hide him away from the pain, from anything that may harm him, from anything that hurts inside. He really wishes he could do that, he really wishes it was that easy. But things are never easy for Kook. Things are never a walk in the park.
“Of course I worry, how would you feel if I started smoking?” Yoongi just eyes him carefully, his thumb doesn’t stop stroking around Jungkook’s cheek. He only moves his fingers a little more, to remove some locks from Jungkook’s face.
“You’re right, I’ll try to stop okay?” Jungkook startles. He looks at Yoongi deep in the eyes, this is the first time in months he’s had Yoongi compromising to something only because Jungkook asked for it. He tries to comprehend exactly how that happened, what did he say that got Yoongi to agree so fast? As his boyfriend softly strokes his hair, Jungkook’s mind races a thousand miles per hour until he kind of gets it.
Of course I worry, how would you feel if I started smoking? That’s the key.
“Let’s go to bed?” Jungkook asks yet again, Yoongi sniffles, his eyes shine with the watery expression of sadness and his swollen eyelids seem to be heavy, even so Yoongi refuses again. He shakes his head, lets his hand fall off Jungkook’s face. Maybe Jungkook should leave it, let Yoongi be, he’ll come when he’s tired but Jungkook can already see the exhaustion in his eyes. Not only from a long day of work but from all the pain inside. Jungkook really wants to make it better, he wishes he knew how.
“You should be sleeping now, bun” Yoongi tells him and is true, it has gotten late, Jungkook does feel tired and he is aware that he should probably be asleep. Nevertheless, now that he has Yoongi here showing himself, it is impossible for Jungkook to leave. But Yoongi will continue refusing if he keeps asking so there is only one choice. Jungkook has to use something he knows Yoongi can’t defend himself from.
Is fairly easy, Jungkook think as he hugs Yoongi by the waist. The elder doesn’t put any sort of resistance until Jungkook starts to lift him up. Yoongi is really not heavy, Jungkook could carry him for hours without exhaustion, he could and he would, tonight it just feels appropriate.
“Hey, hey!” Yoongi protests when Jungkook sets and arm under his knees to carry him sort of bridal style. “Jungkook- ah put me down” he complains but is Jungkook the one who refuses now.
“I’ll take you to sleep, you’re tired” Jungkook declares, Yoongi- who has gotten his arms around the younger’s neck for support- just shrugs. “I asked you twice and you said no, so I am taking you myself”
“If I said no, for sure wasn’t so that you carried me around” Yoongi complains just as Jungkook enters the bedroom.
“Well that’s too bad then” Is Jungkook’s final phrase before he actually puts Yoongi down on the bed. It maybe sends enough of a message because Yoongi doesn’t try to get up. Instead he fishes for his sleeping clothes set under the pillow and changes without caring of Jungkook watching him. Jungkook guesses they have nothing to hide from one another, after all.
Jungkook turns off the lights and in the dark he envelops Yoongi’s body with the warm duvet and his own arms. Yoongi doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to move away. It makes Jungkook wonder how they can fight so badly when it is obvious that there is so much love between them. So much love to be shared, so much love to give and so much love to take. Jungkook thought himself as ready to let go but it is certain that he just can’t. Maybe he should, maybe that is the most prudent solution but Jungkook is a fighter and he is indeed really stubborn. He has always been.
“Is my best quality” he repeats silently into the night. Yoongi seems to have fallen asleep. So before it gets even later and knowing that if he waits until tomorrow, he might regret it, Jungkook picks up his phone.
The blue light pierces his eyes so he tries to be as quick as possible as looks through the contacts of his messaging app. He opens Taehyung’s conversation and before he can think of it twice, he writes his text and presses send. Taehyung will most likely not see it until the morning but Jungkook rests calmly with the thought that the first thing his friend sees when he wakes up will be a notification asking him for his psychologist- friend’s number.