"I don't know, Abir," Mishti said. "Badi Maa tumhaare baare mein pooch rahi thi kal. Kal toh kisi tarah yeh baat tal gayi... But main Badi Maa aur Bade Papa se jhooth nahi bolna chahti, unse kuch chupana bhi nahi chahti. Aur phir... tumhe yaad haina pichli baar kya hua tha? Unhe humaare bataane se pehle pata chale isse achcha toh yeh hai ki hum khud hi bata de, right?"
Abir and Mishti were on the phone, talking about the midnight festivities that had transpired for Badi Maa and Bade Papa's anniversary, and the topic had then moved on to Mishti telling him about her conversation with Badi Maa.
"I know, Mishti," Abir replied. "Main unse chupana nahi chaahta... lekin jo hua uske baad... Main kaise unhe face karu? Such tall promises I'd made... But I couldn't fulfill even one. I don't even know ki main kis munh se unke saamne aau. I don't deserve them. I don't deserve you."
"Abir!" Mishti reprimanded. "Kuch bhi kehte ho. I know ki jo hua woh nahi hona chahiye tha. But you made a mistake. Aur galtiyaan toh sabse hoti haina? Iska yeh matlab nahi ki tum yeh socho that you don't deserve this. Abir... We deserve each other, okay? Aur tum please itna tension mat lo. I know Bade Papa abhi naraaz hai, but he loves you like his own. Haan, shayad unhe manana thoda mushkil hoga... Lekin mujhe apne Ajeeb Rajvansh pe poora bharosa hai. Jis tarah last time tumne unhe humaare liye manaya tha... Iss baar bhi mana loge."
"Are you sure?" Abir asked. "Woh maan jaayenge na?"
"Haan, Abir. Woh maan jaayenge. Kyuki Bade Papa ke liye... Savse zyada matter yeh karta hai ki unke bachche khush ho. Aur main... Sirf tumhaare saath khush rehti hoon," she told him.
Abir flashed back to the moment that Bade Papa had told him he'd teach Mishti to be happy without depending on others... and find her own happiness within herself. He wanted that for Mishti... and even himself. Both of them had come to such a stage in life when their happiness depended on other people... And that wasn't really healthy. He'd find a way to make it happen. They both would be happy on their own, without needing anyone else. Not even each other. A relationship was meant to be a source of happiness in your life, not all of it. And somehow, he'd teach himself, and Mishti, to learn that. That it was necessary that they have a happy relationship, but it was also necessary to find happiness within yourself, without needing anyone else to be the source of it. You could be your own happy place. And that's what mattered most.
"Abir..." Mishti whispered. "Kya soch rahe ho?"
"Kuch... Kuch nahi. Bas... aise hi," Abir replied. "Tum kuch keh rahi thi."
"Abir... I really think humein Badi Maa aur Bade Papa se bohot jald baat kar leni chahiye. Main nahi chaahti ki unhe yeh sab phir kahin aur se pata chale," she told him. "Aur... Main unhe batana chaahti hoon, Abir. Because I'm proud of the fact that we're together again. I'm proud that our relationship is strong enough to have weathered this storm."
"Me too, Angry Chorni. Me too," he answered. "Theek hai... Main kuch sochta hoon. Thoda waqt dogi mujhe?"
"Meri toh saari zindagi hi tumhaari hai," she said.
"I love you," Abir told her, not knowing what else to say to that. A couple tears had fallen from his eyes at her declaration, and he wiped them quickly, as if she could see him, then chuckled at himself for doing it.
"I love you, too," Mishti replied.
They said their goodbyes and ended the call after that. Abir sat, deep in thought. Badi Maa and Bade Papa had loved him more than his own parents ever had. With them, he'd found the trust, respect, love, and admiration that was supposed to be the most integral part of a relationship between a child and his parents. The day he'd broken up with Mishti, he knew that he'd broken their trust too. Bade Papa's words from the market still echoed in his ears to remind him of what a failure he had been.
It was why he was never able to muster up the courage to go up to them and apologize for everything. After Mishti, they were the ones who deserved his apology the most. He should be on his knees in front of them, begging and pleading for a second chance to make things right... But he didn't even have the strength to face them.
He was ashamed of his actions, but he was also so, so, so scared. He was scared to look into the eyes that had once looked at him with nothing but love and trust, and find in them hatred and anger. He'd lived with his parents treating him loathesomely already. He wouldn't be able to handle it if Badi Maa and Bade Papa did that to him too, even though he deserved their ire far more than he ever deserved to be a pawn in his parents' nefarious schemes.
But, he knew that as much as he was scared, he needed to have a talk with them, to apologize, and ask for a second chance, if they could find it in themselves give him one. And, he had to, for Mishti. He'd already given that girl enough tears to last a lifetime. There was no way she was crying even one, especially because of him, and his cowardice. He'd fallen weak once, and he'd disappointed her so badly, but he would never do it again, ever, no matter what the cost.
With that resolve in mind, he decided he'd go talk to Badi Maa and Bade Papa in a few hours. Perhaps, this anniversary, they'd give him a present by giving him another chance. With shaking hands, he opened his old phone and texted Badi Maa, asking if he could come see her.
Badi Maa's phone beeped once again and she sighed, thinking it was another message wishing her a happy anniversary. Annoyed, she opened her messages, wanting to send a quick thank you and being done with it, but was surprised to see Abir's name flash on her phone. Abir had never tried to make contact after the break up almost 2 months ago, so she was surprised that he was texting her now. She assumed that it was just out of common courtesy, a message to wish his sister - in - law's grandmother, yet she was happy that he'd initiated conversation again. Maybe, in time, she'd be able to get to the bottom of the entire break up business. She quickly opened the chat, and was even more surprised to see that Abir was requesting to meet her and Bade Papa.
"Shaurya ke bauji!" She immediately called out, seeking her husband.
"Kya hua, Shaurya ki Maa?" He asked her, walking into the living room.
"Mujhe aapse kuch zaroori baat karni hai," she told him. "Chaliye."
Saying so, she pulled him into their room and shut the door, locking it. It was absolutely imperative for her that they not be disturbed for the duration of this conversation.
"Shaurya ki Maa... yeh aap kya kar rahi hain? Kya baat hai?" Bade Papa questioned, worried.
Wordlessly, she handed him her phone. He read the text and looked at her in surprise. "Yeh kya hai?" He asked.
"Abir humse milna chahta hai," she told him. "Usse kuch baat karni hai."
"Lekin hum ab koi baat nahi karna chahte. Jo kuch bhi baatein thi, do mahine pehle ho chuki hain," Bade Papa replied.
"Shaurya ke Bauji... ho sakta hai... ho sakta hai ki woh maafi maangna chaahta ho? Ho sakta hai usse apni galti ka ehsaas ho. Ek baar toh hum usse baat kar sakte haina?" She asked him.
"Ab inn sab cheezon ke liye bohot dair (late) ho chuki hai, Shaurya ki Maa. Hum ab Abir ko kabhi maaf nahi kar paayenge. Usne humaari beti ka dil toda hai. Itne vaade karke... ek bhi nahi nibha paaya. Uski wajah se Mishti ko bohot dukh hua hai. Aise insaan ki hum shakal bhi dekhna nahi chahte," Bade Papa answered.
"Kya aapko sach mein lagta hai ki Abir aisa kuch kar sakta hai?" Badi Maa questioned.
And there in, lay the crux of the situation. As much as he wanted to hate Abir, Bade Papa couldn't... because he himself didn't believe that Abir would ever do something to hurt Mishti off his own volition. The same boy who'd come to their house, confident and straightforward, the one who'd told him that Mishti would never have to fear him leaving, the one who stood up for Mishti time and again, who was ready to leave his family for her... That boy wouldn't hurt Mishti. Not without reason. He knew that. He understood that. And yet, he couldn't seem to find it in himself to forgive Abir for what he'd done. Not yet anyway. Looking at Abir's face would only remind him of Mishti's screams from the day she'd gone to London... Her sobs, her cries, her pleas. They all haunted all of his worst nightmares. They were sounds he'd not heard for years. He never wanted to hear them again. Abir had done that. How was he supposed to forgive it?
But, he also knew that something huge must have happened for Abir to take that step, and as much as he loved Mishti, he'd taken to Abir like a son too. And he wanted to give his son a chance to make up for what he'd done, to know the reason behind him taking such a drastic step.
"Shaurya ke Bauji... bas ek mauka. Please. Ek mauka toh de sakte haina hum usse? Apni baat rakhne ka... maafi maangne ka. Please?" Badi Maa literally pleaded in front of him.
"Shaurya ki Maa... hum..." He trailed off. Not knowing what else to say, he just nodded his head. He needed this too.
Badi Maa replied to Abir in affirmative, thanking god a million times for this opportunity.
Abir literally jumped when he saw the notification on his phone. He'd been pacing for almost half an hour... worried out of his mind about what would happen. At this point, the same phone he'd run away from for so long seemed to be his lifeline. He just needed one chance from Badi Maa & Bade Papa to make things right, and he wasn't above begging and/or grovelling to make it happen. He wasn't above doing anything.
But, thankfully, it hadn't come to that. Yet. Badi Maa had agreed to see him. He thanked his lucky stars for it. He immediately replied to her, requesting an audience outside the house because he really did not want to involve any other family member in this at the moment. Badi Maa agreed to see him at the NGO, and promised to bring Bade Papa and even Mishti along.
Finally... something was happening right for once, Abir thought. He'd talk to Badi Maa & Bade Papa and apologize... try to ask for one more chance to make things right between them, to win their trust back, and to win their love back. Not wanting to waste any more time, he got dressed and rushed out of the house, his stomach buzzing in excitement.
He reached the NGO a good half hour before the agreed time, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He puttered around for a while, too nervous to sit still, and tidied the place. He ordered some food and drinks for everyone in case they got hungry, and then paced around, waiting for them to arrive. His phone rung, distracting him for a second. He saw that Kunal was calling him and answered quickly, thankful for the interruption.
"Bhai, kahaan ho aap?" Kunal asked him.
"Main NGO aaya hoon, Nanko!" Abir answered. "Badi Maa aur Bade Papa mujhse milne ke liye tayyar ho gaye hain!" He exclaimed.
"WOW! That's great news, Bhai! I'm sure ab sab theek ho jaayega," Kunal replied.
"I hope so. Mujhe bohot nervousness ho rahi hai," Abir told him.
"Bhai, aap bilkul tension mat lo. I trust you. I'm sure aap sab sambhal loge. Lekin agar phir bhi aapko koi help chahiye ho, toh please aap mujhe call kar lena. Main turant aa jaunga," Kunal said.
"Tu office chodke yahaan aayega?" Abir asked, flabbergasted.
"Bhai, yeh office ka kaam aapki khushi se zyada important toh nahi haina... aap bas ek phone kar dena. Aapka Nanko turant haazir hoga," Kunal replied.
"I love you, Nanko!" Abir told him, getting emotional.
"Itna bhi senti hone ki zaroorat nahi hai! Aur I love you, too!" Kunal answered.
Just then, Abir heard the crunch of the gravel under tires. "Nanko, shayad woh log aa gaye hain! Main baad mein baat karta hoon!"
"Okay, bhai! All the best!" Kunal wished him before hanging up.
Abir straightened himself up and opened the door for the three most important people in his life... His parents, and the love of his life, hoping that this time, he'd be able to do what he hadn't the last time and be the man they all deserved.
He saw Badi Maa and Bade Papa walking up the walkway, flanking Mishti on either side, and instinctively, he dropped his head, unable to look them in the eye after what he'd done.
"Tha... Thank... Thank you... Fo... For coming," he stuttered, guiding them inside.
Mishti tried to catch his eye, but Abir continued looking down, his gaze never leaving the floor, which made her think that maybe talking Abir into this hadn't been the best idea. He was clearly terrified of what would happen, but still... he was doing this. She wasn't naive enough to think all of this was just for her, because she knew that Abir did feel guilty for hurting her parents as much as he did her, and so this was just as much for them, and even for himself, as it was for her, but still, it made her feel guilty for pushing him into something he might have not been ready for.
Trying to give him some assurance, she caught hold of his hand and gave it an affirming squeeze, causing him to look up. She passed him a quick smile, trying to convey she was always there when he needed her, and he managed to return it too.
Everyone made themselves comfortable on the chairs and Bade Papa turned to Abir, looking at him expectantly.
"Kahiye, Mr. Rajvansh. Kyu bulaya hai aapne humein yahaan?" He asked Abir.
The way Bade Papa addressed Abir hurt him, but he knew he deserved it too, after everything that had happened. Bade Papa had loved him like a son, and Abir had betrayed him by breaking his daughter's heart, and his wife's heart, and even his heart.
"Itna sab hone ke baad... Kis munh se aapke saamne aau... Yeh bhi nahi jaanta... Isliye, itne waqt aaya nahi... Lekin... bohot late ho jaaye, aur aap kabhi meri shakal bhi nahi dekhna chaahe, uske pehle aapse baat karna chaahta tha. Toh aaj... Kisi tarah himmat karke... Maine baat karli," Abir began.
"Main jaanta hoon... Jo kuch 2 mahine pehle hua woh nahi hona chahiye tha. Sab meri galti hai. Mujhe pata hai maine aapko, aapke parivaar ko, aur khaskar Mishti ko... Bohot zyada hurt kiya hai.
Jab main aapse mere aur Mishti ke baare mein baat karne aaya tha... tab maine aapse bohot vaade kiye the... yeh bhi kaha tha ki Mishti ko kabhi darr nahi hoga ki main usse chodke chala jaunga, lekin main chala gaya. Maine yeh vaada kiya tha ki main hamesha Mishti ka saath doonga, but maine nahi diya. Maine yeh kaha tha ki ek rishta sirf woh sambhal sakte hain jo do log uss rishtey mein bandhe hote hain, aur main sambhaal nahi paaya.
Maine sabse jhooth bhi kaha. Yeh kaha ki main Mishti se pyaar nahi karta jabki uske alawa main kisi aur ke saath apni zindagi bitaane ke baare mein soch bhi nahi sakta. Maine Mishti se kaha ki woh toote hue ghar se aayi hai toh woh mere ghar ko jodke nahi rakh paayegi... Jabki... Main apne ghar mein, apni family ke saath rehne laga hoon, toh woh sirf uski wajah se.
Maine uss din aap sabko... Mishti ko... Humaare rishtey ko... Sabke saamne bohot buri tarah humiliate kiya... mujhe aisa karne ka bilkul haq nahi tha. Aur... itna sab hone ke baad bhi... jab Mishti mujhse milne aayi toh maine uske saath bohot buri tarah behave kiya.
Itna sab kehne aur karne ke baad... mujhe pata hai ki aap sab mujhe pasand nahi karte... Shayad mujhse nafrat bhi karte honge..." Abir trailed off, hiccupping. It broke his heart to say it all out loud. His list of sins was too long, and he didn't think he'd ever be able to repent them fully. But more than that, it hurt him to think that the only people in his life who had shown him what it felt like to be loved by a parent hated him now. A few tears fell out of his eyes at that thought, and he quickly wiped them off.
Badi Maa wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull him in for a hug, seeing him like that. He was in so much pain and she wished to take it all away, but she couldn't. Not yet.
"Yeh sab hone ke baad bhi..." he started talking again after taking a few deep breaths. "Aap... aap yahaan aaye... uske liye thank you. Agar main aapki jagah hota toh shayad main yeh kabhi nahi karta, jo aapne mere liye kiya hai.
Lekin... jo bhi hua uske baad... main aapse sorry nahi keh sakta... kyuki... kyuki maine jo kiya hai uske liye sorry bohot chota word hai. Main maafi maangke aapko sharminda nahi karna chaahta, kyuki maine jo kiya hai woh maafi ke laayak nahi hai mujhe pata hai. Aur aap... aap itne achche hain ki mujhe pata hai ki agar maine maafi maangi, toh aap shayad mujhe maaf kar bhi denge, aaj nahi toh shayad kuch time baad... but main woh maafi bhi abhi deserve nahi karta.
Toh, main bilkul bhi sorry bolke apni galti ko chota nahi karna chahta, aur yeh bhi nahi chahta ki aap kisi pressure mein aake mujhe maaf kar bhi de. Isliye main sorry nahi bolunga, jabki mujhe hazaron baar bolna chahiye. Uske liye I'm sorry.
Aur main... main apne behaviour ki koi wajah bhi nahi dena chahta. Haan, uss waqt kuch aisa hua tha jiski wajah se mujhe yeh karna sahi laga... lekin reason jo bhi raha ho, maine galti ki hai, aur main apni galti ka koi excuse ya justification nahi dena chahta.
Ab... I'm sure aap yehi soch rahe honge ki agar main maafi bhi nahi maanga chahta aur koi safaai bhi nahi dena chahta... toh maine aapko yahaan kyu bulaya hai? Toh... maine aapko yahaan ek bohot khaas wajah se bulaya hai.
Main... main jaanta hoon ki aaj aapki anniversary hai, lekin phir bhi... main aap se... aap dono se, aur... aur Mishti se bhi... kuch maangna chahta hoon. Mujhe pata hai ki ab mera aapse koi bhi expectation rakhne ka, aapse kuch maangne ka koi haq nahi hai, lekin... lekin main phir bhi maangna chahta hoon... aur agar aap denge... toh mujhe bohot khushi hogi."
"Ky... Kya... Kya chahiye aapko, Abir?" Bade Papa asked in a soft whisper. He always knew that Abir was a responsible person who never shied away from his mistakes, and today, hearing Abir admit to everything, and tell them he understood the magnitude of his mistake, and even him refraining from making excuses about himself made Bade Papa proud of the man in front of him. It reiterated the fact that Bade Papa had not been wrong in judging Abir and that Abir was still the same person who Bade Papa had started to think of as a son. It also didn't escape his notice that even though Abir didn't tell them why he'd broken up with Mishti, he had admitted to the fact that something had happened which had made him take that drastic step. In the light of all this, Bade Papa was willing to be a little lenient with Abir. He did, after all, think of Abir as a son, and parents could never be too mad at their kids for long. Kids always make mistakes, and there are times when they disappoint their parents, just like Abir had, but that did not mean that any parent stopped loving their kid, just like Bade Papa didn't. He was rightfully angry at Abir, and disappointed in him for a reason, but Abir was his son, and Bade Papa still did love him like one.
Abir looked up for the first time on hearing Bade Papa's voice. This was the first time that he'd called Abir by his name since that fateful day 2 months ago. Abir hadn't even realized it but he had been longing for Bade Papa to do that for a while now. His shone with more tears, and yet, there was a brilliant smile on his face, because his father had just called him by his name for the first time in 2 months. Abir wanted to freeze the moment and bask in it forever. This single moment gave him more hope than he'd harboured in 2 months.
"Boliye... kya chahiye aapko?" Bade Papa asked again.
"Ma... Mau... e... Ek aur ma... Ek aur mauka chahta hoon," Abir replied. "Mujhe pata hai ki ab aap sab mujhpe bharosa nahi karte... kyuki maine hi woh bharosa toda hai... lekin aap sabka bharosa phirse jeetna chahta hoon, aap sabka pyaar phirse jeetna chahta hoon. Aur woh karne ke liye... sirf ek mauka chahta hoon.
Mujhe pata hai ki maine ek bohot badi cheez maang li hai... isliye, aap please... waqt lekar soch lijiye, aur phir mujhe bataiyega. Main intezaar kar lunga."
Hearing those words sealed the deal for Bade Papa. He didn't need to wait to bestow upon Abir what he was asking for. In all these months, Bade Papa might not have said it out loud, but deep inside a corner of his heart, he'd also harboured hope that whatever had happened that day had been a mistake and that someday soon, Abir would come back and ask for a chance to make it alright. Now, here he was, with Abir in front of him, asking him for that very chance he'd wanted to give him for so long. Bade Papa didn't need to think or ponder. He just needed to act.
"Abir... pichle kuch mahino mein jo kuch bhi hua, woh... nahi hona chahiye tha, aapne sahi kaha. Lekin, jo ho gaya hum usse badal nahi sakte. Yeh bhi sach hai ki hum mein se kisine kabhi yeh umeed nahi ki thi ki jo hua woh hoga... aur aapne yeh baat bhi sahi kahi ki ab shayad hum aap par utna bharosa nahi karte jitna hum pehle karte the.
Humne aapko apna beta maana tha, Abir... aur humne kabhi nahi socha tha ki humaara beta humaara bharosa, aur humaara dil todega. Lekin... aapne woh kiya. Woh aapki galti thi," Bade Papa said.
Abir immediately looked down again, ashamed at his behaviour. He was shaking in his boots listening to Bade Papa talk. He knew he'd made a lot of mistakes, but hearing Bade Papa state that he'd broken their trust and their heart was too much for him to handle.
"Lekin... Aap bhi toh insaan hain. Aur galtiyaan insaano se hi hoti hai. Aapse bhi hui. Achchi baat yeh hai ki aapne apni galti maani. Aur aap usse sudhaarna chahte hain. Galti maan'na aur usse sudhaarne ki chah rakhna... yeh karne ki himmat sab mein nahi hoti, Abir. Par aap mein hai. Yeh dekhkar humein bohot achcha laga.
Aur... aapko beta maana hai humne. Bachche agar galti karein, toh maa baap ka farz hota hai unhe maaf karna. Haan, aapki galti bohot badi hai, isliye maaf karne mein humein shayad thoda waqt lage... lekin maafi maangkar aap humein aapko maaf karne pe majboor nahi karte.
Aapne humein niraash bhi kiya hai, lekin aaj humein yahaan bulakar, humse baat karke, humein phirse umeed di hai, ki shayad sab sahi ho jaayega.
Isliye... humein sochne ki zaroorat nahi hai, Abir. Hum aapko ek mauka zaroor denge, apni galti sudhaarne ka," Bade Papa declared.
Abir was openly crying now, tears falling continuously from his eyes without a hint of stopping despite him wiping them away constantly. Badi Maa, unable to stop herself, stepped forward and wiped his tears with her pallu, making Abir cry harder. He immediately wrapped himself around her, sobbing into her shoulder. Badi Maa hugged him back and shushed him gently, trying to get him to stop. As she ran her hand up and down his back in an effort to calm him, Abir felt like he was finally with his mother for the first time in years. He'd never felt this sort of affection for Badi Maa ever. She'd always been more his mom than Meenakshi Rajvansh had ever been, and yet, he'd never been more grateful for her than he was in that moment.
Once he was calm enough, he pulled back and Badi Maa finally wiped his tears completely off his face. "Thank you," he whispered reverently, wiping her tears in return, causing Badi Maa to smile.
Turning to Bade Papa, he said, "Main iss waqt koi vaada nahi karunga, kyuki mujhe pata hai ki aap yakeen nahi karenge, lekin aapne jo mauka diya hai, main usse jaane nahi doonga. Thank you. Thank you so much!"
Bade Papa smiled and ran a hand over Abir's head as a silent blessing. "Hum jaante hain," he said. And he did. Bade Papa was sure that this time, Abir wouldn't disappoint any of them. He would never repeat the same mistake twice. Ever.
"Tum keh rahe the na... ki anniversary humaari hai, aur maang tum kuch rahe ho?" Badi Maa asked him, to which he nodded. "Lekin... tumne humein aaj humaara beta waapas kar diya, Abir. Thank you!"
Abir hugged her one more time and then it was time for the Maheshwaris to leave. Abir walked them out, his eyes constantly on Mishti, who couldn't look away from him if she tried. She'd never expected Abir to agree to talk to Badi Maa and Bade Papa so soon, and for their conversation to go so well either, but she shouldn't have been. Her Ajeeb Rajvansh could do anything. And she was sure that he'd win over her parents soon, just like he had before. After all, they loved him too.
Abir helped all of them into the car, and his fingers lingered in Mishti's for a few seconds, squeezing before he let her go. He stood outside, watching them drive away with a huge smile on his face. He couldn't believe it had gone so well with Badi Maa & Bade Papa. They'd agreed to give him a second chance. Life couldn't get better than this, could it?
Just then, his phone beeped with an incoming message. He opened it to see that Mishti had texted him.
Thank you, Ajeeb Rajvansh. Tum sach mein meri story ke prince charming ho jo meri har wish poori kar dete ho! I love you!! <3
He was wrong. Life could get better. And it would.
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Phewwww! This one is LONG! I hope it makes up for not updating last weekend!
I had midterms and couldn't update because of that. But, a lengthy chapter this week as compensation. :)
Hope y'all enjoyed this one! :D
Vote and comment, please! <3