A/N -
Hey guys! sorry for the delay :( all this stuff with the virus going on has got me down so I haven't had much motivation to write.. but i've been pushing through and sparingly writing here and there! So I hope you guys like this! ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )
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Sounds of rain slammed against the roof of the Kujo household. Holly was in the kitchen, silently cooking some food for the entire family. Kakyoin and his father had been invited over to stay for comfort after loss of such a wonderful woman. Kakyoin was silently sitting in the dark of the living room, knees hugged to his chest with his glasses set off to the side. The pale skin around his eyes were rubbed red from all the crying he had done the past few hours, his father helping Holly and thanking her for inviting them.
Through his nearly dead eyes, all he could focus in on was the roses that laid on the table, ringing loud in his ears. His mind was fuzzy and swarming with so many thoughts that were driving him insane and keeping him at a near breaking point; voices screaming in his head for him to hurt himself, that nothing even mattered, because he couldn't be there when his mother needed him the most. And part of him was almost ready to—
"Kakyoin..."
Holly's voice breaks the loud, shrieking of the voices, eyes soft with compassion as she slowly took a seat next to him. "How do you feel..?" Her hand moved to rub at his back and he flinches, glancing over with dull violets after. "...." He can't help but to just stare at her before leaning into her and wrapping his arms around her tightly, eyes squeezed shut.
"...Sorry.." He whispered and went to pull away, but Holly only pulled him back and moved closer. Her hand moved to gently run through his red locks, second hand gently running over his back.
"Don't be sorry. Take all the time you need." She says with a smile, earning a squeeze from the 22 year old. Trembling, he clings onto her and feels tears start to brim at his eyes again and fall down his cheeks; soft, quiet sobs coming from him as he laid out in her lap.
Jotaro watched from the door, teal eyes hidden by the brim of his hat.
—
Sitting outside, the raven sat on the porch. He's slumped over and holding his head as he thinks, cigarette in between his fingers as he feels hot tears streaming down his face now. So much had happened the past few days, and he felt so overwhelmed; just like the last days in Egypt. Painful memories started to resurface.
Her steps are quiet, but she slowly walked up behind the man, voice soft as she spoke to him. "Jotaro.." Holly places her hand on the boys shoulder. Kakyoin had been asleep for the past two hours, thankfully. He had been sleepless since the news came, and his eyes were getting noticeably bloodshot from the constant crying he had done. Jotaro sniffed a bit and rubbed his nose, looking up and to the side after a second. "What is it?" He murmured as he stood up, half smoked cigarette being pinched out by star and stuffed into the cartridge again, hands moving to his pants pockets. "You're.. crying?" She hadn't ever seen him cry before, besides the one time she walked in on him in his room to check up on him after Kakyoin's 'death.' It was a rare sight.
It hurt.
Holly pulled her son close and held onto him, despite him trying to pull her off, assuring her he was fine. But the tighter she held, the more he felt defeated, and the worse his thoughts suddenly became. Jotaro knew Kakyoin, he knew how he could get, how he could succumb to whatever darkness was in his head, and it scared him.
Large, tired arms wrap around her smaller form and he dug his head into the crook of her neck, hat sliding off and hitting the floor as he started to quietly sob into her, thick brows furrowed as his legs started to grow weak. She pulled him inside and sat down on the couch, carefully stroking his curly locks that heavily resembled his fathers hair, coos coming from her in attempts to calm her trembling son down.
"I don't know what to do.. what if he.." He can't even say it. He can't form the words but just the thought of it makes him sick. He doesn't want to fathom the thought but.. he knows it can happen. "Don't think like that.. you'll worry yourself to death." She said and he just looked up before suddenly snapping.
"Don't? Don't?! Mom—I can't not think about it! I don't want to lose him! I've almost lost him two times too many and knowing how his head works there—there might be a third! I don't want that! None of us do! But you can't just fucking cast it aside like it's normal now! He's probably going to end up doing something and I don't know if I can fucking handle it—" He ran his hand through his hair, eyes wide as he shot upwards and inevitably started to pace around the room, tears filling his eyes. "Jotaro—honey.. please calm down—"
He looked down and took another seat, gripping his black locks as he sniffled and felt his cheeks start to burn hot from the flushed state they got in from the yelling he had done. He hoped Kakyoin hadn't woke up by then. Holly reaches out and goes to hug him again but he slaps her hand away, getting up and running out of the room like a little kid. Except instead of going to his room, he bolted into the woods.
"Jotaro-!!" She ran after him and got to the banister, but he had disappeared already. Dirty blonde brows furrow together as she sighs. He needed time.
"Please be safe.."
—
Jotaro.
Jotaro! Wake up!
"Wake up!" A voice calls out to the sleeping child. It's Holly. "You fell asleep on the playground, again, sweetheart. You know how dangerous that is..!" Exasperated words flap from her mouths and she pulls him into a hug, one tight and filled to the brim of relief.
"I'm sorry." The twelve year old murmurs and hugs her back. He didn't mean to, but he just gets tired easily. He had been like this for as long as he remembered, and if he's lost in thought it only gets more intense. "It's alright... let's go home. Daddy's coming home tonight!"
—
Nothing but the intense sound of his thumping heart could be heard as he sat on a fallen tree, cerulean eyes watering as he stared at the ground. He felt like the world was closing in on him. His heart was loud in his ears as Star forced himself out, bright eyes matching his user's leaking tears of their own. He couldn't exactly control it. He had no idea what this was, what emotion he was portraying. He had seen it once before, but he never felt it this intensely.
"Ora-" Large purple hand extends and Jotaro flinches, hands furling into his black locks more and his body shutting in on himself. "Don't touch me." He sounds calm, but with the copious amounts of tears forcing their way to his eyes from years of captivity, he was everything but calm. If he had cat ears, Star Platinum would have them laying back against his head.
His user didn't want to be touched. Did he listen? No. Of course not, Jotaro needed someone right now, and he wasn't sure if he forgot but—he can hear his thoughts.
And that alone made the stand frightened. Such harmful things.
And so, moving closer, the purple being latches his arms around his form and he hugs as tight as he can. Jotaro tries to get him off by willing him away, but if he did the damned figure just came back. "You're one fucking stubborn bitch." He said and inevitably leaned into what 'hold' there was from the figure, teary eyes shutting.
"Ora.." He's trying his best. He needs him to know that it'll be okay. That the sheer pain he's feeling right now is self inflicted due to worry. And dwelling on that worry will only cause him to shut down. What happens if Noriaki needs him then?
"Stop it. Stop putting this false fucking hope in my head, Star!" He pushes the stand away and abruptly stands, only to be shoved down onto the earth below him, staining the back of his black pants. Star Platinum had pushed him down and was pinning him to the soggy earth below, stern look in his eyes. Teary Azures stare right up into Star's, a snarl pulling at his lips. "Let me go you—you..!" His voice trembles before tears began to prick his eyes and he slowly started to cry, hands balling into fists at his sides before raising to rub his eyes after. "God damnit..!" He sulked, body shaking. Star was right. He needed to be there for the red head, especially now. He hasn't been himself since he found out, and grieving did one hell of a thing to people. Star dissipated from the view for now, proud of his work.
"..."
It took some time, but once he was calmed, the raven haired man takes a stand and a inhales a deep breath, hands wiping his eyes. He needed to get home. Lighting the half-smoked cigarette from earlier, he took a long drag and exhaled through his nostrils; running a hand through his hair before his feet moved to take him back to the house. His trembling hands slowly stopped their shaking as he looked inside the lowly lit house. Anxiety, for the first time in years, piled up in his chest. It was like a completely foreign feeling, like he was in pain for the first time since he was seventeen.
Sighing, he shoved it to the back of his head and pushed his way into the house, snatching his hat up from the floor. It had been two hours since he ran out. Holly had laid down despite her worry; she knew he could handle himself, and that he would come back. And she was right, he did. Carefully slipping into the room he had been sharing with Kakyoin. Arms slide around the limp boy's body, head burying into the thick of his red locks with a shaky breath.
Kakyoin was okay, he would be fine. And as long as he constantly reminded himself of that, he hoped that it would help him stay somewhat sane.
—
"No, no no! No stay with me—"
Sounds of rushing water splattering against the harsh concrete below him is enough to deafen his ears, the only other thing audible to him was the rush of his heartbeat and the pathetic sobs leaving his parted lips. Strong arms grasp the limp boy's torso once purple hands let go, lifting him bridal.
"Fuck—no no.. shit come on!" As strong as he was, even now, hoping off the building was a struggle. He's grasping like the body is as fragile as glass, and thats because it is.
Any wrong turn, wrong shift wrong movement—and guts would fall all out into the streets of Cairo like he was in a slaughterhouse.
He wasn't going to make it.
That's what Joseph told him. He dared spit that in his face, and Jotaro blew up like a stick of dynamite and jumped out of the moving car. Even if he didn't make it—he refused to leave his body there to rot.
Kakyoin deserves a second chance at life. And if that didn't happen?
Closure.