Chapter 28
Gray walked around the remains of his village, a place he'd never revisited outside of his worst nightmares. He wasn't sure what he'd hoped to accomplish by coming back here; he just knew it felt like the right place for them to talk.
Maybe he'd just wanted Natsu to see where he'd been coming from all this time. Not that he'd ever thought the dragon slayer — no, he corrected himself, Natsu had never been a dragon slayer, he was a dragon — had ever doubted him.
Mounds of scorched rubble lay amidst the few structures that had remained standing, a stark contrast to the vibrant village of his childhood. When he'd escaped during its destruction, he hadn't looked back, not wanting to see the charred remains of his parent's bodies intermingled with the rest.
He'd still been able to hear the roar of the flames as the fire continued to devour everything in its path, the black smoke reaching up towards the morning sky, darkening it as if in mourning for what it had witnessed.
The air had been oppressive as he'd run deeper into the woods, full of smoke and the horrid smell of the villagers' burnt flesh. Gray had kept running until it had felt like his lungs were about to burst, trying to put as much distance as he could between himself, the last cries of his parents, and the roaring laughter of that evil dragon that had tried to kill him.
Now that he was older, all Gray felt was a sort of detached astonishment at discovering the woods had somehow remained unharmed. There had been some cleanup over the years, and even though he was grateful that someone had taken care of the bodies, he wished they'd placed some sort of marker somewhere. Anything to let him know where his parents had been laid to rest so he could pay his respects. He stumbled around, trying to find the location where his house had once stood.
Hearing a noise behind him, he turned to observe Natsu, who had also wandered over to the remains of the village. His features exhibited a fury Gray had never witnessed before.
"Natsu?" Gray ceased his search and ran over to the dragon, startled to see Natsu showing so much emotion considering he'd probably seen much worse over the last few years.
"This is not what red dragons are about!" Natsu seethed, "They stayed away from humans, and once my father decided to side with them, they protected them. This should never have happened."
"I know that now," Gray assured him, "I think it took talking to your father for me to accept all the things you'd been trying to tell me over the years. I hadn't wanted to believe that dragons could be intelligent or have complex emotions. If I continued to think of them as mindless beasts, then I wouldn't have to face my guilt. It was much easier to blame everything on Deliora and anyone like him."
"Your guilt?" Natsu looked puzzled, "What are you talking about, what could you possibly have to feel guilty about?"
"I — I killed my parents," Gray admitted out loud for the first time, "Or rather, I may as well have," He cut Natsu off before he could try to convince him any differently.
"Deliora destroyed our village, yes, but if it hadn't been for me, my parents would have survived."
Gray oriented himself, walking towards the spot where it had all happened, and Natsu followed, his previous fury doused by his concern at Gray's words.
"The roars of the dragon woke us up, although we didn't know what it was at first," Gray began, his eyes becoming cloudy as he surrendered himself to the memory. "We were luckier than most. We'd been planning to go camping that night, so we had bags packed. My father went outside to see if he could help, but he returned quickly, whispering something to my mother."
Gray closed his eyes for a moment, holding on to his parents' faces.
"They told me I needed to be quiet, that everything would be fine once we reached the woods, but even then I knew that was a lie. How could anything possibly be alright when I could hear the screams of the other villagers and the roar of the fire as it destroyed everything I knew?"
He stole a look at Natsu, wondering if, in his tense state, he would see him as his love or as the villain, and was pleased to know that he still clearly saw him as Natsu. Gray was glad his mate wasn't a hellfire dragon like his uncle. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to accept that as easily. Not that any of it had been easy, of course.
Gray recognized the sympathy in Natsu's eyes and offered him a tight smile. It relieved him that Natsu wasn't trying to interrupt him with platitudes, content to just listen to him.
"They told me to focus on them as I ran between them. We were almost to the woods when I tripped. My mother caught me before I could fall, and she tried to keep me from looking, but it was too late. I had tripped over the charred remains of one of my friends, and I screamed, drawing Deliora's attention to us."
"If I had just kept my mouth shut," Gray's voice broke, no longer able to continue. He felt a light embrace as Natsu wrapped one of his wings around him in a manner he recognized. He'd seen Happy doing the same thing for Natsu years earlier. It was surprisingly comforting.
"You were a child," Natsu spoke even as he made soft purring noises that helped to soothe Gray, "It was their choice to save you, and one that any loving parent would willingly make for their child. Even now, I know Igneel would do anything he could to protect me," Natsu chuckled, "Atlas might let me die, though."
Natsu had meant that as a joke, knowing full well Atlas would never let anything happen to him despite how he pretended to act. Hell, if it ever came down to it, Natsu had a gnawing suspicion Atlas would even extend that protection to Gray, but judging from the way Gray tensed up at the mention of his uncle, a hellfire dragon like Deliora, it might not have been a good idea to bring him up.
"There is enough guilt to go around," Natsu sighed, knowing his father wouldn't want him to hide his role in the events that led Deliora to this village, "And none of it changes a damn thing."
"I have something to tell you, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him because, for some crazy reason, my father really likes you."
Gray stared at Natsu with dread, not knowing what to expect from that statement. He tugged at Natsu's wing, trying to show him he wanted to be held tighter. Natsu capitulated, holding him closer while continuing to make those soothing noises. Pressed close to him as he was, Gray felt Natsu take a deep breath before speaking.
"I'm not sure if you know this, but my father is the King of the Red Dragons."
Gray looked up at Natsu in surprise and horror as he remembered the way he'd acted when they'd met, "K-king?" He gulped.
"Yep. Anyway, not all the red dragons agreed when my father decreed they would side with the humans. Deliora, in particular, was furious, and he challenged him. The way Atlas tells it, they fought for days until my dad finally won. He should have killed Deliora then, but he exiled him instead. He thought that was the end, but, well, you know what happened after."
Natsu hung his head, ashamed for having kept it to himself for so long.
Gray blinked as he processed Natsu's words, not missing the stiff manner in which the dragon held himself. He lightened the moment while he tried to figure out how he felt about this information. "Are you trying to tell me I'm a fucking princess?!"
Natsu stared at him in open-eyed wonder for a full minute before letting out a deep rumbling laugh. "I never thought of it that way, but I guess. Although technically, you'd be more like a Queen."
Gray was so happy to hear Natsu laugh again after such a long time that he disregarded his words, thinking them a continuation of the joke.
His enjoyment was brief as Natsu soon became serious again.
"You should know, you don't have to worry about Deliora ever again."
"Why's that?" Gray couldn't deny the relief he felt at those words, but there was something in Natsu's voice that terrified him. It had sounded cold, which is not something he'd ever associated with him. Even when he'd been attempting to maintain a distance between them, there had always been warmth. It was something that was just a part of him.
"I killed him," Natsu stated simply, letting go of Gray and once again turning towards the remains of the village, but not before Gray felt a wetness on his shoulder. Natsu was crying? What the hell had happened?
"You killed him?" Gray chased after him, full of a need to know what had upset Natsu so much. "What aren't you telling me? We both know the only way this is going to work is if we're honest with each other. No more secrets."
"Can we not?" Natsu pleaded, and that should have been his clue to leave it alone, but Gray was too used to pushing and fighting Natsu to realize when to let something go.
"No more secrets," Gray repeated firmly.
Natsu tried to stare him down, but when he realized Gray was not backing down in the slightest, he kicked the nearest object, watching with satisfaction as it flew in the air for quite a distance before landing on a gigantic pile of rubble.
Natsu's voice was tense when he spoke, and Gray resolved not to interrupt, hoping it would make it easier for him to get through the telling.
"Deliora made an alliance with Acnologia. Once Igneel and Atlas learned of it, they tasked all dragons with killing him on sight, but he hid for months. Until the day Rogue and I came upon two enemy dragons during a routine patrol, one hellfire, and one acid."
"I recognized Deliora right away. He was the only other hellfire dragon in the area, and we had met once before. Rogue knew how badly I wanted to go after him to avenge you and my father, and like an idiot, I let him convince me to stay and fight rather than going for help. Even though I knew better."
"I let my desire for vengeance cloud my judgment, and I left my friend behind to fight against a dragon whose magic was extremely hazardous."
"We split up," Natsu continued, his remorse weaved into every word, "Rogue asked me to let him down so he could fight his dragon. He was doing well, so I went after Deliora. It only took me a few minutes to kill that bastard and I rushed back to help Rogue with his fight, but, uhm, I was too late."
"I found him writhing on the field, the acid from his injuries eating away at his flesh," Natsu was filled with anguish as he recalled finding his friend in that state. Still, he did his best to finish, "I tried to head it off as best I could, but I wasn't able to stop the damage soon enough, and he uh — he lost both his legs up to his knees. Sting blamed me for what happened, and he was right. I should never have left Rogue to fight on his own."
"So, when you asked me if you were a monster?" Gray prodded, recalling the night he had found Natsu sitting outside their hotel room in the middle of the night. Natsu nodded, no longer able to hold back his tears.
"Oh Natsu," Gray was heartbroken for everyone involved. He tried to hug as much of the enormous body as he could, knowing it wasn't enough, would never be enough to ease a trauma that large.
"Was Wendy able to help?"
Natsu shook his head, "She can't regrow bones, she could only finish healing what I couldn't," Natsu answered, keeping his head down.
Gray stared at Natsu, his hand covering his mouth as he attempted to digest what Natsu had just told him. "Is - is he okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. He can still move around if he uses his magic. From what I've heard, Gajeel and Metalicana have been working on something that might help him walk again."
"From what you've heard?" Gray repeated, puzzled by how aloof Natsu sounded. It was surprising considering they were discussing one of his closest friends. Until he remembered Igneel's words.
"I haven't talked to them in about two years," Natsu shrugged, clearly done with the topic.
"Two years?! Don't you think it's time for you to talk to Sting about it again? I'm sure by now, he must realize it wasn't your fault."
Gray stopped to examine the dragon in front of him, trying to read his gestures. Had Natsu been in his human form, this would be a lot easier, he could read human Natsu like a book, but dragon Natsu was still a mystery he was slowly deciphering. Although he was confident with time, he would manage it.
"It doesn't matter anymore, any friendship that existed between Sting and I is over," Natsu seethed, "Can we please talk about something else?"
He sneaked a quick glance at Gray, only to find his eyes had never wavered from him.
"No. This is important. Sting is your best friend, I'm sure whatever happened you guys can work it out."
Natsu laughed, but this time it was dark and mirthless, the sound making Gray take a step back. "There are some things that can't be worked out, Gray. What he did, while I understand it, I can never forgive him."
"What did he do?" Gray whispered, a feeling of dread settling over him, knowing it would have to be quite terrible for Natsu to not be willing to forgive his closest friend.
Natsu studied him for a long time before finally responding, "He's the one who sent Acnologia to Talos."
It took Gray several minutes to piece together what those words meant. It had been Sting who had set the events in motion that had put an end to the life they had built together. He could feel the rage rise within him at the injustice, even though a part of him still had trouble believing it.
"But why? Why would he do that?"
"Because if he hadn't, Acnologia would have killed all of them, so he did what was necessary to protect Rogue. I don't fault him for that, I probably would have done the same thing if you were in danger," Natsu tried to sound convincing, but Gray could still hear the hurt in his voice.
Sting had been Natsu's best friend since he was eight years old. He knew the betrayal had to have been a blow, especially on top of his own rejection.
"I don't understand any of this," Gray interrupted, wanting to move the conversation away from what had happened. "Before you left, you'd said renegades were just dragon slayers that had turned against the dragons, but Acnologia was a dragon."
Natsu sighed, "Something went wrong with Atlas' spell, or maybe the dragons who cast it messed it up. We don't know exactly what caused it, but for some dragon slayers using a lot of magic, combined with the blood of the dragons they slew changed them, and they somehow gained the ability to turn into dragons."
"So they turned into something like you?"
"No, the renegades are something entirely new. I was born from a dragon and a human, so my body could take both forms. At least it used to be able to," Natsu amended, his forehead creasing briefly before he continued his explanation.
"The renegades, however, were human, and the process ended up destroying their minds. While they can change between either form at will, they aren't really human anymore. But they aren't truly dragons either. Acnologia is the strongest of them, and he has declared himself their leader."
"And Deliora joined up with him?" Gray thought this seemed rather short-sighted, "But wouldn't Acnologia have just killed him later?"
"Probably, I doubt he really cared. I think his hatred blinded him to anything else, or maybe he thought he could handle Acnologia on his own," Natsu shrugged disinterestedly, "Who knows?"
"I can tell you this, Acnologia is like no other renegade. He reaps the souls of his opponents, keeping them inside him and fusing them to his magic to give him immunity to ours. It makes him almost invincible."
Gray thought of the malevolence he'd felt from the renegade and shuddered to realize it was something he'd never felt from any of the other dragons he'd encountered except for Deliora.
"Y-you told me Acnologia almost killed you, did — did he do the same to you?" Gray didn't really understand what soul reaping meant, but it sounded terrible, and he instinctively didn't like it.
"He uhm, he tried," Natsu's face was grim, "And there would have been nothing I could have done to stop him if Belserion, he's my father's advisor, hadn't sacrificed himself for me. Acnologia ended up with his soul instead."
"I took one of his arms in that battle, but he destroyed most of my side," he pointed at the X shaped scar near his hip bone, deciding to leave out the part about how the renegade had eaten his tail. He didn't think Gray would handle that well.
"I was fading fast, but then you came to me and asked me to come back to you, and I — I couldn't leave you."
"That — that really happened?" Gray blanched, remembering the pain he'd felt at that moment, and his face contorted in terror. His arms immediately wrapped themselves around as much of Natsu as they could, finally understanding how close they had come to losing each other.
"You saw something?" Natsu peered down at his mate with interest.
"No, but I heard your voice, and then I felt this incredible wave of pain, and I tried to call out to you. I did tell you to come back to me, but then I blacked out," Gray recounted, still shaken at the realization that they'd been connected for that brief moment.
As much as he'd wanted to learn everything, he realized Natsu had been right all along. He wasn't ready to hear anymore. He needed time to process even the little he'd just heard.
"I wish I could go back and do so many things over. My parents, you, Lyon," Gray cried out in frustration, "I screwed up so much, and look where it led us."
"You're being too hard on yourself, love," Natsu protested, and Gray felt himself perk up at the familiar nickname, "None of what happened was ever your fault. I could have trusted you more."
"No, you had it right the first time, what were you supposed to do when I hated everything you were? That is the truest thing you ever said to me. I understand that now. I just wish..., there were so many times I could've made better choices."
Natsu sighed, "We both screwed up a lot. We were stupid and scared to lose what we had, but I never doubted your love for me, even after what happened in the field," He tried to phrase the rejection as tactfully as he could, knowing it was a touchy subject.
"If there were any way to change what I am, I'd do it in a second. I'd do anything to be with you," And he absolutely would. But he also knew there was nothing to be done in this case, and he needed Gray to understand that. Before he wasted his life trying to find a miracle cure that just didn't exist.
"But the truth is, I was already having trouble changing back during the war. The longer I remained a dragon, the worse it became. And after Acnologia almost killed me, they had to use massive amounts of dragon magic to reconstruct parts of my body. When I changed back into my human form, all those areas were covered in red scales."
Natsu saw the disbelief on Gray's face and hurried to drive the last point home. "That tattoo I had? It was an illusion spell Atlas created for me so I could hide them from you. The battle within my body is over, and the dragon won. I'm sorry, but this is how I will always be. Not even magic can change that. So if that isn't something you can accept or—"
"If you even attempt to finish that sentence, Natsu Dragneel, I will end you," Gray threatened, "I've already told you, I don't care what you are. I care about who you are, and I am never leaving you again."
Natsu didn't reply. Just watched him with a sorrowful expression Gray didn't understand. Shouldn't he have been happy with his declaration?
Gray's head was swimming, and he looked for a distraction, something to take his mind off things for a bit. He was back in his village for the first time in twelve years. Deliora was finally dead. It was time to put all this behind him.
But first, there was something he needed to do. Something he should have done years ago.
He looked around for materials, settling on some rocks and small branches along with some vines, moving them over to where his house had once stood. He let himself think about the wonderful memories he'd once had, back when his family had been whole.
If he concentrated really hard, he could almost see his parents. Images of them flitted through his mind, chasing after him as they played with faces full of carefree laughter, or tucking him into bed at night and reading him stories even though he complained he was too old for such things. It had been a good life.
Gray remembered his mother's simple wish for his happiness: a wife, a family. While his father had merely wanted him to be kind and strong. What would they have thought of his husband, the dragon?
He could feel the tears stream down his face, and he didn't fight them. He'd been so caught up in his anger that he'd never allowed himself to grieve their loss properly. But he knew it was time. If he ever wanted to move forward, he needed to start here.
Gray felt a tentative pull through his distress, and he waved Natsu away, needing to experience this fully.
"My dad, he was uhm, really fun. He liked to tell jokes and play pranks on my mom," Gray wiped his eyes as he talked to Natsu, "You would have liked him, I think."
He could hear Natsu moving behind him, and it didn't surprise him to find himself once again enveloped by a large wing. "My mom," he began, but got no further as he dissolved into sobs.
"Shh," Natsu soothed, "I'm sure she was amazing too." Once Gray had calmed down a little, he asked, "Would you like some help?"
Gray nodded, not trusting his voice yet. Natsu nuzzled him as best he could before getting to work, placing the rocks Gray had collected in a large circle in what used to be their backyard.
"I wish I knew where they were buried." Gray sniffled.
"Isn't it better to honor the place where they lived?" Natsu suggested, and Gray decided his mate had a point. This was where they had been a family. This was what he would choose to remember from now on.
And with that thought came an idea. He molded a knife and used it to scratch his parents' names, Mika and Silver Fullbuster, on the branches he had chosen, tying them together with the vines and pounding them into the ground with an ice hammer.
Gray sat in the circle and closed his eyes, trying to remember as many details about his parents as he could. He shaped his ice, carefully making adjustments as he went, until a near-perfect sculpture of the three of them playing and laughing together stood before him.
Once he was satisfied with the results, he infused it with as much of his magic as he could manage, wanting it to last as long as possible under the summer heat. He made his way over to Natsu, who had moved away once he'd realized what Gray was attempting.
Natsu admired his work, sighing contentedly, "I don't think I've ever told you this, but I've always thought your magic was beautiful."
Gray smiled at the compliment before turning into a mess when Natsu added, "Just like you."
He nudged the dragon playfully, only to hear Natsu laugh at him. They remained silent until the sun set, content to sit together and enjoy the memorial they had crafted together.
"Let's get out of here," Gray suggested, standing up and dusting off his clothes as he felt Natsu rise beside him.
"I know just the spot," Natsu murmured, and Gray climbed on the dragon's back, sparing one last look at the place where his life had begun before finding himself in the air once again.
0-0
They hadn't been flying for very long when Natsu touched down. Gray looked around, feeling there was something familiar about it.
He could feel Natsu's nervous excitement, but it was dark, and the woods all looked the same to him at night.
"Where are we?"
Gray could tell that Natsu was a little disappointed at his lack of recognition, but he soon perked up. "Go look at that tree," Fire lit up one of Natsu's talons, and he neared it to the tree trunk, carefully revealing a clumsy heart with the names Natu and Gay carved inside it in barely legible letters.
"Natu and Gay?" Gray collapsed into giggles. He was incredibly touched by the gesture, and he didn't want to hurt Natsu's feelings, but it was hilarious. "Oh, my poor stomach!" Gray complained, still unable to stop laughing. "How old were you when you did this?"
"Eight," Natsu pouted, "Forget it."
"No, no, no, I'm sorry," Gray apologized through his giggles. "Is this the tree I rescued you from?"
"Yeah," Natsu grumbled, looking away.
"Oh come on, don't be like that! I wanna hear about it," Gray urged, "Please?"
"Fine. My dad forbade me from searching you out, but he said nothing about not returning here," Natus revealed, his eyes brimming with mischief.
Gray snorted in response, not surprised at the defiance. He could only imagine Igneel must have had his hands full with child Natsu.
"I had to," Natsu defended, "I didn't want to forget we had met, and the thought of losing your scent scared me, so I snuck away again as soon as I could. I tried to carve our names, but I'd only just started learning my letters," Natsu frowned, "I'll fix it."
"Don't you dare touch it," Gray objected, "It's perfect just the way it is."
And he meant it, too. There was something about learning that Natsu had come back here on his own and done this that freed him from his previous guilt at having attacked him more than any of Natsu's earlier assurances that he'd never hated him for it ever had.
Natsu lit a fire near the tree, gesturing for Gray to sit down once he'd determined it was safe. "I'm going to go hunt us some food," he announced before disappearing.
"Natu and Gay," Gray muttered to himself, once again giggling, but this time he felt his body overflow with warmth. Stupid romantic dragon. He wished that just once, he would be the one to surprise his mate with a grand gesture. One that would show him once and for all how he felt, especially after all the pain he had inadvertently caused.
Natsu soon returned, and while Gray cooked the rabbits he'd caught, he made a nest for them to sleep in. When Gray offered him some food, Natsu only replied he'd already eaten.
"Where do we go from here?" Natsu asked after watching Gray eat quietly for a while. The apprehension in his voice was hard to miss.
Gray studied him thoughtfully for a few minutes, mulling it over. The truth was, he had no idea either. They had hurt each other deeply over the years, and while he wanted nothing more than to pretend none of it had ever happened, he knew that was the wrong approach to take. Especially given the considerable hurdles they would have to face in their future.
"There's really only one thing we can do," Gray wrapped his arms around himself, suddenly feeling vulnerable, "We keep talking, we make things better, and we stay together. I — I'd like us to go back to living together."
Natsu's jaw dropped, "You're an ice mage, you can't possibly want to move into a cave with four fire dragons."
"Well, you don't exactly fit in my apartment anymore, do you?" Gray quipped, drumming his fingers on the ground, his nerves keeping him from being able to stay still.
This was one thing he'd decided during those days he'd sat on the mountain, waiting for Natsu to talk to him. They were married, and he wanted to go back to acting that way, even if it seemed ridiculous given their circumstances. They had pledged their lives to each other through good times and bad, and he wanted them to fulfill that promise.
"No, I guess I don't at that," Natsu cocked his head and stared into his eyes, reading them as he always had. "This means a lot to you, doesn't it?"
"Yes," Gray confessed, "I know this isn't how we wanted it to be, but if we're married, it's important to me we act like it."
"Alright then," Natsu agreed, "we'll try to make it work. I'll have Atlas make you a bed. You can always go back to your apartment when I'm gone."
Gray glared at him menacingly now that he had gotten his way, "And on that note, no more suicide missions. I might only be a human, but I promise you, I will find a way to make your life miserable if you ever do something that stupid ever again."
He could see Natsu wanted to protest, but instead, he nodded his acceptance. "I promise I won't go after Acnologia by myself again, but that doesn't change the fact that I will have to go after him at some point."
"Why, why does it have to be you?" Gray complained, terrified by the mere idea of Natsu going after that monster. "Haven't you done enough already?"
"There's still a lot we need to discuss, but there is one thing you should really know. The times I told you I was off helping the Dragon King, that was a bit of a lie." Natsu announced, somehow appearing sheepish.
Gray stared in disbelief for a moment, trying to understand what Natsu was implying and groaning when he remembered him saying he would be a Queen, not a Princess, "Let me guess, you're the Dragon King now?"
Natsu chuckled nervously, "Surprise?"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me?!" Gray sputtered, "How even?"
"Belserion mostly. Igneel and Atlas kept me far removed from other dragons, even red ones, for most of my life. I mean, I knew other dragons existed, but Metalicana and the others were the first ones I ever met outside of my family. I knew next to nothing about our politics. Even the fact that my father was the King of the Fire Dragons was more of an interesting bit of trivia than anything that held any importance." Gray tried not to feel disheartened because Natsu had included himself with the dragons, it only made sense now, but it brought home the crux of their situation.
Natsu was a dragon, and he was not.
"When I got there, that changed. Suddenly there were dragons everywhere, all kinds, even ice ones. They're really pretty," Natsu recounted. Gray could hear the excitement in his voice, and he had to smile.
"Anyhow, it turned out that every race of dragon had their own royal families, and Acnologia and Deliora had systematically gone about destroying them all. My father, uncle, and I are all that's left. So they made my father King of the Dragons. It's complicated. But Igneel made some mistakes, and Atlas' magic had caused too much havoc, so that left only me. Belserion recognized that early on, and without me realizing it, he built me up. After I wounded Acnologia and survived, it cinched it."
"I couldn't really get out of it, so I made a deal instead. I agreed to take my place as King, but only on the condition that Belserion would act as my regent until your death."
"Is that why you were so eager to leave?" Gray wondered, remembering how determined Natsu had been to put as much distance between them and Talos as possible.
"Yeah, I was afraid something would come up, or someone would change their mind, so I grabbed you and ran. I didn't want to spend any more time apart," Natsu admitted shyly, "And I don't regret it, that time we spent together, it was the happiest I've ever been."
"Me too," Gray agreed. Those months had been everything he had ever dreamed, even if they had been too short. He would do anything to get that closeness back. He finally got the nerve to ask what had been worrying him since Igneel had checked their bond.
"Our bond, is it — is it going to be okay?"
Natsu looked down, and Gray could feel his guilt at having tried to destroy their bond, although it was more muted than before. "I think so, but it's going to take time."
It surprised gray to see a sudden change in Natsu's features until he looked down and saw that the pendant was glowing slightly.
"It looks like it's already begun to heal," Natsu's eyes shone with emotion, and once again, Gray felt it inside. He focused on their bond, wanting to reassure himself that their connection felt stronger.
They stared at each other in amazement, neither really knowing what to say.
"I love you," Gray finally burst out.
"I love you too," Natsu nuzzled his cheek gently, "I'm sorry I made such a mess of things."
"We made a mess of things, this wasn't just your doing," Gray reminded him, "I was too stubborn to see anything other than what I wanted to see, and I didn't leave you very many choices."
Gray could tell that Natsu wanted to say something more. He'd caught him staring at him and shaking his head several times, and it was making him anxious. "Just spit it out already."
Natsu dragged in a long breath before speaking, alerting Gray that he wouldn't like whatever it was. "I know you don't want to hear this right now, but there's another reason I need to go after Acnologia, and it's important."
"Belserion?" Gray guessed, remembering Natsu had said the dragon had sacrificed his soul for him. "Vengeance isn't a good enough reason to get yourself killed, Natsu."
"It's nothing like that, and it's not just him. It's also my father and all our dragon slayers' parents too. He has pieces of their souls inside him, Gray. If they died before he did, they'd never be able to rejoin their soulmates. It would destroy their cycle forever. I can't let that happen to my parents or any of the others."
Gray stared at him in dismay, remembering how Igneel had looked when talking about Natsu's mother, and as much as he hated the idea, he knew Natsu was right. They couldn't allow that to happen.
Gray relented with a sigh, "I don't like it, but I understand. Just remember your promise."
"I will," Natsu assured him, "I give you my word. I won't go after him on my own."
"Good, we should go to bed, it's been a long day."
Natsu grunted in agreement as he lay down in the nest he'd made earlier, beckoning Gray to join him. "Yeah, I'm beat."
"I still can't believe I get to be with you like this and not have to pretend to be someone else." Natsu's smile was dazzling, even as a dragon.
Gray crawled in and lay next to him with a chuckle, "I feel pretty stupid for not realizing it sooner. I mean, looking back now, outside of that awkward formal speech you used when you weren't freaking out on me, it should have been pretty obvious."
Natsu laughed, "I wasn't expecting you to show up, I kind of panicked. That's how Belserion talks."
They snuggled together in the nest, Natsu wrapping his wing around Gray in a combination hug and blanket while they stared up at the stars quietly.
"Hey, Natsu?" Gray prodded the dragon, whose eyes were struggling to stay open.
"Hmm?"
"How long do dragons live?"
"I don't really know, the oldest I've heard of is over a thousand years old," Natsu replied dreamily, his eyes closing once again, "Atlas and my father are close to four hundred, I think. Why do you ask?"
"Just wondering how long I'd have to wait to meet you again in another life."
"Every day away from you will feel like an eternity."
Gray giggled, and Natsu frowned at him, "What?"
"Nothing, you're just incredibly romantic, I need to step up my game."
"Nah, I love you just the way you are," Natsu mumbled.
"Go to sleep, you idiot," Gray scolded, not bothering to hide his smile at those words.
"Did I ever tell you that when we first met, I wanted to take you home with me?" Natsu's voice had turned dreamy, "I wanted us to go on grand adventures together. I had it all worked out, too. We'd fly until I could feel myself changing back, then we'd explore wherever we ended up and camp out until I could fly again, and then we'd start all over again."
The last part had been almost unintelligible, accentuated as it had been by snores, but Gray's heart still felt like it would burst at any minute.
He was understanding what Natsu had tried to warn him against. So many times that day, Gray had wanted to kiss his lover like he was used to. To play with Natsu's hair or do any of the myriads of gestures he'd been used to giving and receiving.
Only to be confronted with their reality. The holds and wing hugs were pleasant, but they were nowhere near the same, and it grieved Gray to realize that it would be almost a year before they could once again do all the things they had once taken for granted. He told himself it didn't matter, Natsu had gotten through it, he could too.