I was staring at my reflection in the mirror
I was in my pretty red dress, my hair and makeup was done. I looked pretty - I looked nice. So then why am I staring at the mirror so intently?
The feign happiness that sets on my face, broke my own heart. It wasn't the expression necessarily. It was more of the fact that I knew I was about to greet over a hundred people and none of them would notice. I feel as if I'm on display and invisible at the same time. I'm seen by everyone but truly seen by no one.
Is it selfish of me to want someone to ask me if I'm okay?
Is it juvenile to want to be swept off my feet and given a fairytale?
I shouldn't feel like this. I have the ideal life. I've never had to worry about money or food. I beat myself up about that all the time. Sometimes Olivia's words would get to me. Maybe I am self-centered, inconsiderate even. Being born with the dream and only wanting to get out of it.
I shake my head, today, I couldn't have any desires for myself. It would only make faking this whole thing harder. I grab my handbag and walk down the stairs.
Nod and smile would be my go-to move this evening
<3
"Miss Beckette, Miss Beckette!" A report shouts as I walk into the venue. I smile and wave at the man, letting him at least know I saw him.
My father and his mistress rode separately so they could make their grand entrance seconds after mine. I was to go straight to the head table and keep my mouth shut. As my father explained to me earlier today.
There was a dinner rehearsal late last night. It was extremely extensive and only between us and the staff. My father made me skip school so my first appearance today would be here, at this dinner. Not that I'm upset about that. I had some people at school to avoid.
I sat at my table in front of the guest with a smile. I prayed my father would show up quickly so I wouldn't look so awkward anymore.
"Can we have all guests be seated as the couple makes their entrance?" A voice over the intercom comes in. Everybody that was socializing or drinking at the bar quickly shifted to their assigned seats and stared at the double doors.
Almost as if on beat, the doors bust open. The couple in question standing arm in arm. A classic melody plays and they smile while making their way down the aisle. I heard a sea of 'aws' and 'They're so cutes', as I could only bite my cheek. No one knew that they argued like cats and dogs when alone. They weren't even married yet.
From what I could gather of the argument last night, the same female reporter from the conference has come to put a little hole in their honeymoon phase. I hadn't noticed at the conference, but I recalled after the argument. The reporter was the same woman that stood next to my father in our kitchen only weeks ago. Carol seems to think they've been sleeping together.
I'd say she's smart to assume so
My father decided to settle on a red hearted suit, and Carol went with a long loose fitted red gown.
"Thank you, close friends and trusted business partners." My father makes his statement at the podium. His mistress coming to sit next to me. She doesn't look at me and I don't look at her.
"Today we've come together to celebrate a new chapter in my life. After one love ends, another one begins," He turns his head to smile over at his soon-to-be wife. "I now have two loves."
I guess the second love was supposed to be me, I smile lightly at my father.
"I won't bother you with all the reasons why I love my darling Carol- we'd be here all night," The crowd laughs and my father's poor joke, "But my daughter wanted to say a few things before we release you to the dining hall."
I walk over to where my father stood, he guides me by the small of my back to the podium.
"Don't fuck it up." He leaves a kiss on my temple and goes to sit in the seat next to Carol. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, plastering a smile on my face.
"It's been a long time since I've seen either of my parents happy," I start off, "They've worked incredibly hard to stay together to have a united family, I know that. However, all I want for our family is for both of them to be happy, even if that means separately."
I take a deep breath, trying to push down the vile at the back of my throat. "I'm excited to get to know Ms. Carol, she's an amazing woman, who I think will do great by my dad,"
"As Mark Anthony states: 'I found you without looking and loved you without trying', I hope one day we will all be able to live by those words. Everyone deserves to love," The crowd nods in mutual agreement.
"Thank you." I nod and move back to my seat.
I needed to sit. I felt sick to my stomach. How could I be so deceitful? I hate lying. Beyond this setting, I refused to do it. I'm constantly reevaluating how I feel so I won't lie to myself. In order to be level-headed, I have to be in complete control of my emotions. Which requires honesty.
"Let dinner begin!"
I didn't eat.
I wasn't hungry. That and the dress I had on wouldn't look too flattering if I tore into those jumbo shrimp like I really wanted to. I instead walked around and introduced myself.
"How is it, Mrs. Richards?"
"That steak looks so good, Mr. Owen."
"How's the granddaughter, Ms. Haynes?"
This was really the time I'd show off the southern charm I had been brought up with. Polite smiles and gentle waves became the routine for the next hour.
"Excuse me, honey, Victoria?" A strong voice catches my attention from behind. I turn with a smile, trying to recall the names of the couple before I spoke.
"Mr. and Mrs. Saunters! How was dinner?" The blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes were a dead giveaway. They were identical to their son.
Speaking of which I hadn't seen, not like I was looking-
"It was just above wonderful, honey. We wanted to see where your father was?" I nodded, gesturing to the bar where my father stood talking to a few other business partners.
The room suddenly felt crowded, everybody at this time was moving around and starting to get drinks. The atmosphere was lifting into a hectic one and I most certainly was not feeling it. I tried to find a bathroom, finding some stairs instead.
This is totally a sleeping beauty moment
I followed the stairs that were dimly lit with yellow lights. The bright red bathroom signs got a sigh of relief out of me. I followed it all the way to the top, starting to regret my choice of heels. They were cute, but not practical. There certainly wasn't this much standing at the practice dinner.
At the top of the stairs, there was the bathroom but also a set of glass doors. I looked between the two. A small black figure catches my eye from the glass doors.
Glass doors it is
I push through them, the cool night air chilling every exposed part of my body. It was relieving though. The stars plastered the night sky beautifully. I leaned against the stone railing of the balcony. There was no longer a moon in sight.
The dark figures seemed to be a raven, my raven. Yet, as soon as I set my eyes on it, it flew away. The dark feathers of the bird blended into the starlit sky.
"One day,"
A voice soothes behind me, making me jump slightly.
"Love will come in the form of somebody who wants to give more than take," The boy continues walking over to where I stood at the balcony.
"And you will know why love is rare." He finished, blue eyes blaring into mine.
Lucas Saunters
"Mark Anthony," I smile softly.
"Mark Anthony." He nods.
"Beautiful speech, by the way," He adds, "You've handled your parent's divorce so well. I don't know if I could do that,"
"I didn't even know you were in there to hear it," I chuckle lightly.
"I don't really like these social events," He smiles shyly, "You seem to be amazing at them though. You charm absolutely everyone,"
"You're telling me-" I turn to him. "-that the Captain of the football team, golden boy of the school, can't handle a small dinner party?" I smile teasingly at him.
"I would hardly call this small." He snorts back.
We fall into a comfortable silence. Looking up at the stars was all the conversation that was needed.
"You have really pretty eyes," Lucas randomly states.
I shift my head to look at him and I see that he was no longer looking at the night sky. I turn back quickly, trying my hardest to suppress my blush.
"The stars can make anything appear beguiling."
***
< Her dinner dress >