It makes me so happy that people are still reading my stories!! I baked another one up for y'all, I hope you enjoy! ALSO I hope you guys are safe, don't forget to wash yo nasty hands!
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It all started in third grade.
Up until then, it's always been the little clan of the four boys, getting themselves into trouble and whatnot. The rascals were always up to something, and seldom seen apart. However, when it was finally summer between second and third grade, it had been Stan who stood by Kyle's side when the redhead had been sick for nearly all of vacation. Unlike Kenny and Cartman who feared catching the "jew sickness," as Cartman put it, Stan visited Kyle everyday, and that's how it blossomed.
Throughout all of third grade, the two had become inseparable. Stan was glad to realize that spending time with Kyle felt so easy, and that he wanted to see him more. He had never connected with anyone on such a special level before, or at least as special for a third grader. To find someone in a sea of potential friends, Kyle had meant more to Stan than anyone else.
Third grade passed by fast, and fourth grade brought on new thrills. Every moment for Stan felt new and exciting, especially because his super best friend was there with him. Even something as simple as waiting at the bus stop had him bouncing on his feet, eagerly waiting for Kyle to show up so they could gush about the new Terrance and Phillip episodes.
Stan had to admit, however, that not all the new excitements and thrills had been particularly pleasing. His panic-inducing thoughts and his idiotic dad greatly dampened the fun of fourth grade, but Kyle had been there to drag him along on a fun adventure and make a smile appear on Stan's face, and for that, Stan wouldn't mind going through those fourth grade hardships all over again.
Stan definitely enjoyed fifth grade. It was the year where Kyle sleeping over became a weekly tradition, and Kyle's room basically felt like a second home. At the same time though, it was also the year where Stan began to worry about (at the time, very important) menial issues. Like, what if his room was too messy for Kyle's tastes? What if he was too annoying? What if Kyle thought their hugs were super gay now, and Stan would have to stop doing it forever? He was suddenly nervous about everything, from freaking out over how he said "what's up," to constantly wondering if Kyle would find his jokes funny.
Stan realized how ridiculous he was being when Kyle brought it up, "Dude, why do you always leave me hangin with the high-fives and fistbumps nowadays?" Stupidly, it was because Stan was afraid his hand might be too sweaty, or that he would mess up the greeting in some way. He didn't know how to respond, and he thought he saw something akin to hurt in Kyle's eyes, so from then on he said "fuck you" to the over-dramatic thoughts and quit his charade.
Sixth grade was scary, they were at the bottom of the middle school food chain. Somehow, though, Kyle didn't seem deterred at all. He saw it as a new beginning, and a new chance to take on the world, for a middle schooler, anyway. He became top of his history and math class, overjoyed that he finally beat Wendy to it, and Stan couldn't be happier for him.
If any of Stan's friends were asked what he was like in sixth grade, their simple response would be "Kyle." Stan only ever talked about him throughout the year, with "did you know Kyle did this" and "Kyle said this really cool thing." Students mostly found it annoying, but Stan didn't care, it was like his job to make sure everyone knew how awesome his super best friend was.
Not only friends, but family too, had their ears talked off about Kyle. Shelley always made fun of Stan for it, saying that he had no other friends, and Randy warned him to be careful unless he wanted everyone to think he liked dudes. However, ignoring the warnings, sixth grade was when Stan started asking Kyle if he wanted to come with them on family vacations or spend holidays with them. Not only did Stan miss the smartass greatly when they were apart, but for some reason, Stan needed his family to see how amazing Kyle was. It was as though if they didn't like him, they didn't like Stan as well.
During the summer between sixth and seventh grade, the Marsh family went out on their yearly camping trip, but this time it was a lot better, as Kyle had agreed to tag along after Stan's excited askance. Stan had never been more pumped in his life. The two of them looked at weird frogs and played in cold rivers until their sides hurt from laughter. The best part, though, was that they got to share a tent. Stan was especially grateful, since he didn't have to share one with Shelley this time around. The bitch snored like a devil.
So every night for a week Stan and Kyle chilled in the redhead's tent, and for some reason even though they were miles away from their street, Stan never felt more at home. The last night of the trip was the most memorable to him, as Kyle was snuggled into him, his arm thrown across Stan's chest, half asleep. Stan doubted his friend knew what he was doing, but even so, Stan wrapped himself around Kyle, feeling something explode in his chest as he drifted off to sleep.
Seventh grade was the worst. Stan could only describe it as over-emotional and angsty, which he supposed was only natural for a tween. Something about the summer's camping trip lingered with him, and he didn't understand what, or why. One thing was for certain however, and it was that he hated literally everyone. Except Kyle, of course. People were either too loud or too sensitive, and it pissed him off. The people that pissed him off the most were the ones who affiliated with Kyle. Stan knew it wasn't good, and that Kyle's allowed to become friends with whoever he wants, but when Kyle had to work with Annie on some science project, Stan wanted to bash her face in every time he felt a tug in his chest whenever the pair talked. Fortunately, Kenny and Cartman noticed Stan's brooding behavior before it got too out of hand. "Bruh, the fuck is goin' on with you?" Cartman had said, only earning a questioning look from Stan. Kenny chuckled, "Dude, you look like you wanna murder everyone who comes within five feet of Kyle. It's like you're in love with him or something." Stan wore a surprised expression then, and felt himself flush. He socked Kenny in the stomach and walked away without a word, hearing Cartman laugh hysterically behind him. That was the dumbest reason he'd ever heard. Yes, they were best friends, and Stan cares about Kyle very much, but he wasn't... in love with him.
By eighth grade Stan decided to snap out of it. Maybe his dad was right, being too attached to Kyle made people think he was gay. So Stan began hanging out with the rest of the guys more often, and purposely chose against going to Kyle's everyday after school. He played GTA with Clyde and watched Netflix with Craig and Token. However, even then, Stan's thoughts always drifted back to Kyle. He thought about how much more fun it would be if his best friend was there, and imagined him complaining about there not being enough butter on the popcorn or that Clyde's controllers were to gross to hold. With that, Stan took up football. It was perfect. It required him to think and act quickly, which left no time for him to obsess over Kyle.
It was going greatly, and Stan ended up genuinely enjoying the sport. At this rate, Stan would be known for being Stan, instead of being associated with Kyle all the time. Something about that had hurt, though.
Stan should've known he couldn't keep it up for long. The longing for Kyle slowly crept back into his mind. He pictured Kyle on the empty bleachers during his practice, and wanted to see him run down the steps towards him when he scored a touchdown. At night, after tiring school hours, Stan slept in his bed, feeling that it would be a hundred times more comfy if Kyle was next to him.
It all came together the summer between eighth and ninth grade. Stan clutched at his blankets one cool night after jolting awake from a not so pg dream... that included Kyle.
Fuck.
Ok, so maybe Stan was in love with Kyle. He freaked out about it upon realizing, and the fact that they were starting high school didn't ease his panic at all. All year, he didn't dare tell anyone about his feelings, even to Kenny and Cartman. (The fatass would've probably told Kyle anyway.) So Stan pined in secret, he caught himself staring at Kyle from across the room, or felt a jolt at his nerves every time they brushed passed each other. Most of the time, though, Stan found himself smiling like an idiot. Every time Kyle got excited about acing a test, or got hyped up when winning an argument, Stan felt like he could soar. He felt amazing whenever Kyle felt amazing, and at the same time, was sad whenever Kyle was sad. Sometimes, Kyle would feel like shit after pulling countless all-nighters, or Shiela would annoy the crap out of him, and Stan would feel his heart drop. All he wanted to do was take Kyle and protect him forever. Stan was practically in love, and as it made him extremely happy, it also made him feel extremely hopeless. Him and Kyle were super best friends, they could tell each other anything, but how could Stan tell him something like this? The outcome was bound to be chaos, and Stan would lose his main purpose in his life if Kyle stopped being his friend.
The last day of freshman year, Craig's gang threw a party at Token's to celebrate surviving the first year of high school. It all went downhill that night. There was drinking, a cold night, and an isolated part of the backyard. One thing led to another, and Stan had his lips on Kyle's, his tongue tasting him. That summer, things were different. It was like there was a spring between the two of them, slowly tensing up, and Stan and Kyle were too confused and too scared to face it. Slowly, there were less and less sleepovers, and Kyle was suddenly too busy to hang out.
Tenth grade quickly came, and Stan was miserable. He so desperately wanted to reach out to Kyle, and wanted to cry on him, and scream at him, or anything. What ended up happening was that during passing period, Stan grabbed Kyle, slammed him up against the nearest locker, and attached his mouth onto his once again. Onlookers stared in shock, but Stan payed no attention to them, his mind was too clouded with emotions to process his surroundings. However, he did process Kyle, who was unmoving in his hold. Stan didn't budge, and was expecting a punch to the gut, but what he got was the exact opposite. Kyle practically melted into him. He gripped onto Stan obsessively and kissed him hungrily, as if nothing else in world ever mattered. They barely heard the bell ring for their next period.
The year was definitely an experience for Stan. It was fun, as he and the rest of the grade held study groups that would turn into a party, and he and Kyle got along smoothly again. But on top of that, the two of them would often sneak off somewhere to make-out and bite at each other. They started sleeping over again, but would have their mouths on each other before drifting off to sleep. Stan didn't know what to think of it. On one hand, he was tasting Kyle, which was all he ever wanted, but on the other, he didn't know how Kyle felt. They never discussed their new habit, and Stan saw it as a friends-with-benefits type thing, but without the sex. He couldn't even begin to imagine what that would be like, and it was probably best that he didn't, or he wouldn't be able to control himself around the redhead. Stan was too confused and too scared, and ultimately decided to just not think about it. Things were fine as they were, with him and Kyle being best friends like usual but also making out. It was totally fine, and he should be happy about it.
Then why wasn't he?
One summer afternoon, Stan and Kyle were at it again, on the couch of the Marsh residence. Stan was addicted to Kyle, and even though they've now done this countless times, each time felt different and mysterious to him, wanting him to discover more. Stan was dragged out of his haze when Kyle pulled back, his eyes appearing guarded.
"Why are we doing this?"
The question made Stan's nerves jump. Suddenly, everything in his mind was falling apart and panic quickly set in. He knew it was bad to avoid the question, but Stan wasn't ready to face it just yet, as he didn't understand why they were doing this, either. He knew that was bullshit, he's in love with Kyle, that's the reason why they were currently in each other's embrace and kissing until they couldn't breathe. But how can someone just say that? Stan didn't dare explain, he was too frightened, and didn't want everything he's been through to come crashing down. Thankfully, the topic dropped when Stan responded by reattaching his mouth to Kyle's.
The subject wasn't brought up again until eleventh grade, and it was being asked constantly by Kyle. Every time, however, Stan tried to ignore the question, or managed to steer the conversation to something more easy to talk about. He could tell Kyle was slowly getting pissed about it. He could see it in his eyes and in his posture, and how he now bit down on Stan's lips whenever he got the chance. Kyle eventually reached his limit. One day after school, after seeing Wendy openly flirt with Stan, Kyle pulled him away and sent a stinging slap to his face. Stan was too surprised to retaliate, and instead stood dumbfounded.
"Goddammit Stan!" Kyle sounded boiled over, but his voice slightly wavered like he was about to cry. Stan suddenly wanted to wrap his arms around him and make all the confusion go away, but Kyle was breathing heavily, the mist of his exhales clearly visible in the frosty air. "Why are you doing this to me? Can we please fucking talk about why we keep doing whatever the hell we're doing, when you can easily pick up whoever you want?"
Stan didn't notice the rise in volume in Kyle's voice, but instead noticed the tears well up in his friend's eyes, and how they fell into the snow beneath them. Kyle's voice faltered as he wiped his face with a sleeve. "I don't understand what's going on."
Stan's heart dropped. He felt like the biggest fuck-up to have existed. He instinctively reached out to Kyle, who quickly shifted away defensively. "Don't fucking touch me," his voice wavered as he tried to regain his composure, which ultimately failed. Stan backed down, and at that moment, he felt utterly hopeless. He wanted to, had to explain everything to Kyle. Stan couldn't bear to see him like this. But his thoughts were too jumbled, and all that came out was a pathetic "I'm sorry." Stan was sent another slap, but it definitely held more sadness than anger. With Kyle slumped over on his two feet, Stan slowly approached him again. This time, Kyle didn't move, but didn't reciprocate when Stan wrapped his arms around him. Stan repeated his earlier statement again, and Kyle rested his chin on the teen's shoulder.
"This is all my fault," Stan started, so quiet that he didn't even know if Kyle heard him. He really hoped he did, though. "I was too scared to face you head-on, because the things you make me feel are so big and so scary, and I just took the bad shortcut instead." Stan felt Kyle hold his breath, and after a few moments, "What are you trying to say?" Kyle questioned, equally as soft and quiet as Stan. Stan began to tremble, and he felt hot tears streak down his cheeks, but he didn't let go of his hold. "Dude, I love you."
Kyle felt his knees go weak, but he managed to keep still. Even though Stan used their usual "dude," he understood immediately when he said "I love you." He felt like he was about to vomit. It was all too much, and he couldn't comprehend anything. It was something he couldn't understand, Kyle was usually on top of everything, knew where his morals were at, and didn't give up no matter how tough the situation became. But Stan, the only one who could handle him, his odd one out, his best friend, threw a wrench in his whole system. Stan seemed to sense Kyle's uneasiness, and continued speaking so he wouldn't have to, he could at least do that right for him. "I've been such a shitty friend to you. I love you so much, and I didn't wanna mess anything up, but in doing so I messed up anyway." His voice was steady, but more tears still threatened to escape his eyes. Stan had enough of this, the most important person to him shouldn't be going through this shit, especially because of him. With some newfound determination, he continued.
"I'm ending this now, I'm putting a stop to it, and I'm gonna do everything I can to be worthy of being your best friend again." And it was true, Stan would do anything for Kyle, no matter what. He moved his hands to Kyle's shoulders and pulled back to see his face, who looked lost, but curious. Stan's voice became softer, "And when I do that, I'm gonna tell you that I love you again, like I should've done from the beginning."
Kyle blinked, and stray tears fell to the snow, but his breathing finally steadied as he studied Stan's face. He was so determined, and sorry, and handsome, that he let out a breath and with a broken tone, responded.
"Okay, I'll be waiting."
The rest of the school year carried on, and Stan and Kyle didn't interact with each other for a week. It was miserable for both of them, but also gave them time to sort out their thoughts. Of course Kyle loved Stan back, but Stan needed to come back first — not sometimes-make-out sometimes-best-friend Stan — his Stan. The one who was kind-hearted and made him laugh and who would always feel warm even on the coldest of days. Somehow, in Stan "proving" himself to Kyle, Kyle would prove to himself that he deserved Stan's love as well. They slowly fell back into their friendship again, and in a way it felt stronger and fuller. Hangouts became often again and sleepovers came back, much to Stan's delight. Every time, he was tempted to kiss the lips he loved so much before drifting off to sleep, but he would always control himself, and instead allowed himself to cuddle into Kyle's side, which Kyle seemed to enjoy just as much.
On the last day of eleventh grade, a party was thrown again. It all finally clicked into place that night. There was another cold night and an isolated part of the backyard, but less drinking this time, thankfully. Stan took Kyle's face with a hand, and kissed him deeply. It was unlike any other of their previous ones. This one held meaning and emotion, and there was determination and fear, but the good kind. Stan spoke against Kyle's lips. "Man, I love you, dude." And it was so stupid and so perfect and so Stan. Kyle smiled and clasped his hand with the raven-head's. "I love you, too."
That summer had been the best that Stan ever experienced. New video games came out, there was always a party going on, and best of all, he was with Kyle. Kenny and Cartman felt like proud parents, their kids finally stopped beating around the bush and just fucked each other already. Kenny said that sounded wrong when put that way, but Cartman just waved a hand in dismissal, "You know what I mean, Kenny."
Twelfth grade soon came, and it was just as fun. It was their last year together before everyone split and started their new lives. Stan and Kyle became one of the power couples, Stan thought it was awesome, but Kyle always rolled his eyes at it. "I don't care if everyone loves me with you, I only care if you love me with you."
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"Wake the fuck up, Stan," Kyle demanded unamused. Stan groaned and pulled the covers over his head, he didn't know what time it was, but it was probably too early anyway. Kyle sighed and threw the blanket back to the foot of the bed, causing Stan to sit up at the sudden cold. "Jeez alright! I'm up, I'm going. Wait, what am I supposed to be doing?"
Today was South Park High School's seniors' graduation day. It's not that Stan forgot about it, it was that the ceremony started at three in the afternoon, and here Kyle was trying to wake him up at 8 am. The redhead crossed his arms. "Just because we don't need to get up early, doesn't mean we shouldn't." Stan groaned, they've been dating for a year and already it feels like they're married. The thought made Stan's cheeks all warm, but it just reminded him of the coldness of the room. They were currently at Kyle's place, Stan loved how every room of his house smelled like him. Stan pulled the blankets back up as he heard Kyle sigh in what he supposed was disappointment. Snuggled in Kyle's sheets, Stan outstretched an arm towards the responsible graduate, inviting him under the covers. The only thing better than sleeping in Kyle's bed was sleeping with Kyle himself.
Kyle sighed once more and reluctantly let himself succumb to Marsh, which he quickly accepted when he felt his warmth wrap around him like a coil. "Now isn't this nicer?" Stan inquired as he buried himself into Kyle's hair. He let it grow out and took care of it so it appeared like careless poofiness, and Stan loved the silky feeling of it. Kyle hummed his response and kissed along Stan's neck. He earned a chuckle and felt it bubble up from Stan's chest. "Trying to get one last fuck in before we become high school-free?" Kyle snorted and bit down on Stan's neck, hearing a growl from him. "We can't, Ike has friends over right now," Kyle responded, a little disappointed, but they have time for things like that after the ceremony.
The hours passed quickly and before they knew it, they were at school with people clamoring about, making sure they got into their proper lines. "Hey, look who decided to show up, it's the school's token fags," Cartman said with a smile as Kenny walked up to hand him a water bottle. Kyle narrowed his eyes at the fatso. Yeah, he was still fat. Even though he played sports, he still ate like hell. "Shut up, Cartman. I'm surprised you even managed to graduate considering how utterly retarded you are. Your mom probably just fucked the principal in order for you to be here." Kenny laughed heartily. Cartman scoffed. "Okay ouch, has Stan got your ass hurting you or something?" Kyle growled, and Stan joined in on Kenny's growing laughter at the bickering. The four of them will be seeing each other less now, since Kyle will be going to Princeton and Cartman might be moving to California, of course they would be across the country from each other. Kenny and Stan will be staying in South Park working, until Stan is capable enough to move to New Jersey with Kyle.
The four of them laughed and bickered until teachers eventually ordered everyone to get into their positions in the lines. As the ceremony progressed, with the principal calling name after name and taking picture after picture, Stan couldn't help but look at Kyle. Stan's been through so much, and it was all because of the redhead standing a few rows from him, flipping through his diploma. They've both learned so much, and there have been good and bad times, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
"Stan Marsh!"
Stan glanced up, and heard the applause of his peers and could hear the proud yelling of his dad from somewhere in the crowd of parents as he walked up to shake hands with many staff members and get handed his diploma. From the stage, he could see Kyle practically beaming, and Stan could feel the love coming from him penetrate his soul. He gave a wave to the ginger, and walked back to his seat and waited for the graduation to be done.
After throwing their caps in the air, students took pictures with their families and excitedly spoke with their friends. Stan's class huddled together to talk about summer plans and having a graduation party in the woods somewhere. Stan peered over at Kyle for what felt like the thousandth time that day, and knew that whatever happened, he wanted to be right by his side. Kyle would be moving to New Jersey, and Stan would be right behind him. They would have to be away from each other for a few months, but it would be worth it. Anything's worth it for Kyle. Overcome, Stan turned Kyle towards him while he was in mid-conversation and attached his lips onto his, not parting for a while.
Stan heard an affectionate "aww" from Kenny, while Cartman's reaction wasn't exactly so heartwarming. "Oh, gross, you guys, couldn't you wait until we weren't around?"
Stan's answer was no, and as he and his friends piled into Kenny's truck into the woods to get drunk off their asses, Stan knew that was Kyle's answer too.
"Love you, ya dork," Kyle confirmed, snuggled in Stan's arms in the back seat. Stan smiled into Kyle's hair.
"Love you too, nerd."
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Lmao the title was meant to be a placeholder, but I just stuck with it in the end. Tysm for reading! Stay safe! 💗💗