"What do you mean there isn't going to be a wedding?!?!?" my mother yelled. She picked her drink up & stared at me in the living room from the island in the kitchen. I had sat on the idea of telling her for two days before I finally got the nerve to come over here. I always had to prepare myself for her overdramatic antics.
The truth was simple, well to me anyway. I was going to be with the man that has made me happy since the very first day I met him. That's it. That simple.
My mother, who had finally joined me in the living room, just sat across from me, shaking her head.
"Denise, all of the planning, the dress fittings, the invitations & sending those out & the phone calls. Hell, all of the money used on all of it...All of that just for there not to be a wedding?" she continued to shake her head. She sighed & looked at me, still shaking her head in disbelief.
"Yeah, I ended things with Dre two days ago & I already have most of what I could get a refund on pending. At this point I'm just waiting for him to come get the rest of his stuff before I throw it out" I said as I shrugged my shoulders. She sighed and continued to look at me.
"I mean, not that I have to explain my life decisions to anyone, but I'm doing what's best for me" I continued. "Just because I'm getting older doesn't mean I have to or had to settle. Truth be told, that's why I was with him in the first place....He was just convenient" I admitted.
"So the two years you were with him meant nothing? That is a human with feelings. Not some toy you can just get rid of when you're bored" she shook her head again.
"Oh my God!!! FUCK! It's over, mama. That's it and that's all. If you love him so much, you should just make him your second husband or some shit! Because I'm done!" I shouted. I was fed up.
She was too invested in something that really didn't matter to her at the end of the day. So what she loved the guy, I was the one that was going to have to deal with him & his lackluster dick for the rest of my life. I think the fuck not! I was sick of the damn dramatics.
"It is my life & I can do what I please. If you're mad about time & money being wasted with all of this wedding shit, fine. I'm sorry for that, but I am not sorry for choosing my happiness over everything else...Thanks for coming to my TED Talk!" I said as I threw my hands up. Concluding my rant.
"Denise Er-" she started but what was cut off by me for the fifty lem time.
"Please Ma, save it. I'm done & I'm moving on. If you can't accept that, then that is on you. I'm going to be fine either way, period" I said as I started for the door.
"You done came over here and ruined my damn day...Your father will be hearing about this & don't be surprised if you get a phone call from him" she said as she made her way to the door as well. I walked out of it & she closed & locked it behind me. I heard the click of the lock as I walked to my car.
LATER
I sat in my room texting Maurice, who just couldn't wait to come back to me. He said he'd be seeing me soon, which just made me feel all warm inside & got the blood flowing to my little man in the boat. I hit Dre up one last time, telling him to come get the remainder of his things or the dumpster would become them.
He responded quickly & told me he'd be by today to get them. He basically said he inventoried all of his shit & knew what was left. Like I wanted any of it. Sir, I want what's left of you gone, the fuck? What I look like keeping anything of his? Outta of his damn mind.
I put my phone down when I got the overwhelming feeling that I had to throw up. It literally came out of nowhere. I really didn't have anything other than my coffee today, so maybe that was the reason.
I got back on my phone to delete messages & came across a picture of Darius' dick. It made me all hot & bothered & I wanted to call his ass but I didn't. Maurice not living in my city was going to be a big issue with this sex drive I have. I want & have to be faithful to him, but it'll be hard when I'm not getting what I'm craving. I deleted our text thread & sighed as I put my phone down & decided to eat something. I chilled for the rest of the day & took my ass to bed early.
I woke up that Saturday morning to the bright sunbeams coming through my blinds. My stomach was turning & not even a minute after waking up, I was calling Earl into the toilet. I guess the food that I thought was still some good yesterday, wasn't.
I got off my knees & brushed my teeth, chasing that with mouthwash. I felt a little lightheaded so I sat down on the toliet only to abruptly get up & opened it to throw up again. I felt like shit & further examination in the mirror, I looked it too.
The doorbell rang, startling me because it was early & I wasn't expecting anyone. "Who the hell could it be this damn early in the morning?" I asked out loud before swishing some more mouthwash & spitting it out. I walked to the door & opened it & there Dre stood.
"I came to get my shit. I see you changed the locks" he said as he continued to stand before me. I didn't move to let him, I had it all packed in a big ass box right next to the door.
"Finally and did, I don't trust ya ass as far as I can throw you & we both know I can't pick your big ass up" I responded with an attitude. He sucked his teeth as he walked in. He bent down to pick up the box, then stopped.
"C'mon in, baby" he called out to someone in the hall. Just then a woman about my height & probably my age came slowly through the front door. He caressed her face in his hands, then she stood next to him, quietly.
"Dawn, right?" I said putting things together in my mind quickly. See, because I always suspected something was going on with the both of them & him calling her baby was enough for me to know it had to have been her.
"Yes" she said softly. She was heavily pregnant so I congratulated her on her baby. She smiled shyly & thanked me. My mind was racing on ten. All the late calls & calls period, her always knowing & seeing shit before me. Adding her two cents in where ever she could. I had a burning question that at first I wasn't going to ask but couldn't help it. Why the fuck not, he's not mine anymore.
"You're the father aren't you?" I said to Dre who had finally picked up his box of things. Before he could respond, she did.
"Denise, I wanted to tell you woman to woman bu- she started but I cut her off.
"Ho, say less. That's what's best for you. If you weren't pregnant, I'd fuck yo bitch ass up!" I shouted.
"Denise chill" Dre had the nerve to say to me, which instantly brought my attention back to him.
"Nigga, fuck you. All that bullshit ass reassuring me that what I suspected wasn't true & the whole fuckin' time it was? See, niggas ain't shit bro" I focused my attention back on her now.
"And you knew we were together & didn't give an once of a fuck, as long as you got your nut right?" I folded my arms because I balled my fist & I didn't want to beat the fuck out of a pregnant woman & I certainly couldn't take Dre, no matter how many boxing lessons I had took. After all, she didn't owe me any loyalty, he did.
"Look, Denise I was going to tell you alright. I just didn't know how or how to go about it" he said.
"And when the fuck were you gonna do that, after we said I fuckin' do? You're so full of shit!" I shouted. "She's about to fuckin' pop so clearly this shit has been going on for a while. So how long, huh? Y'all both can answer at once. I don't give a damn who does, I just wanna know" I said as I looked back & forth at the both of them. She took the opportunity to answer again.
"Almost two years" she said & my heart sank. I was expecting her to say maybe a year or close to a year, but two years?!?!! That was pretty much our entire relationship. Half way into it he started this bullshit with her. I just started to notice late, obviously.
"You fuckin dirty ass nigga!" I shouted once more. "You knew all of the bullshit my past relationships put me through. I told you & you told me that you'd never do it to me & you did! You did it & lied to my face, like it was nothing...Like I meant nothing" the entire house was silent for a little bit. As I shook my head, I started to laugh like a maniac almost. On some real villian shit. They just looked at me bewildered.
"NOW, I really don't feel bad for any of the shit I did" I laugh some more. He looked puzzled, Dawn just held onto his arm, the both of them just looking at me.
"Yeah, you weren't the only motha fucka cheating you piece of shit. Where do I even start? Oh yes, there was Darius who I met at our favorite spot. Yeah, his dick was magical. Way better than yours. You can't fuck for shit bro, so good luck with that, sis" I said with a smile.
"He's actually a very accomplished lover" she said like we weren't fucking the same lackluster ass, you better hope you get a nut ass dick. It was enough to get the job done if you were horny, but I have dildos that fuck better than him. He was a C- minus at best. All that dick and he didn't know what to do with it. A whole ass waste!
"If he's accomplished like you say, sweetie you need to get out & fuck some more. But there's more, I'm not done nigga" I cleared my throat and continued.
"There was Maurice, the man is hung & knows how to use it. He's the true love of my life & yeah I was fuckin' him when you called the other day. Treadmill my ass. True shit, I'd come home from fuckin' one hell, maybe even both of them & then I'd fuck you. Raw. You ate their nut when you ate my pussy, nigga. Hope you liked the taste, bitch" I chuckled.
He had the look of pure horror on his face & it brought me so much joy. He too could feel the hurt I once felt but swore I'd never feel again & I didn't!
"Whatever. I don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore. Congrats on being a ho...You have you a nice life, Denise" he said as he grabbed the door knob.
"Oh, please trust that I will. Now that you're gone I can finally live the life I want. Good bye lazy dick. You, ya bitch & your lil' bald headed ass baby be blessed you hear" I said as I slammed the door behind him. I returned to the dining room table to my now very cold breakfast. My stomach was doing all types of turning & I was back in the bathroom, throwing the fuck up.
I didn't plan on doing shit at all today anyway, so I just stayed in my room pretty much the whole day after this morning. I had been texting Maurice back & forth & told how I felt like shit & couldn't keep anything down. He made my entire day when he told me he was less than five minutes from my house & would doctor me back to health.
I needed his touch, I needed to be held by him. Loved by him. Even though I did Dre dirty, just him revealing what I already felt was true, still hurt a lil' bit. Maurice was going to take all of that pain away AND he was gonna fuck me good so that I wouldn't even be thinking about anything else.
I needed that. Once he rang that door bell, I rushed to the door. I couldn't wait to see him. There he stood looking just as beautiful, yes beautiful and handsome like he always did. I needed him & I didn't want to waste anymore time. This was my new forever & I was so happy.