Ari's P.O.V
After the argument
I am fully aware that I shouldn't have walked away from her or left her behind, but I needed to leave before my stupid mouth opened back up and spouted something ignorant that I didn't actually mean. I've never been too great with thinking before I speak when I'm mad.
Even though I have no right to be mad right now. Or at least, not with her. Just myself.
I was going to head back to the room, but I don't want to go there yet, so I think I will go find my family instead.
"Yo! Ari!" I hear a familiar male voice yell out as soon as I go indoors.
It was Dak with Georgia sitting poolside not too far away.
I briskly walked over to them and steal the pool chair someone stupidly left open as soon as they got up. I laid out to attempt to relax, but I should've known better than that with these two.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Dak asked.
Ha, "girlfriend".
"She's probably headed back to the room by now," I responded flatly.
"Why? She forget something and then gonna head here?"
"Nope. She's mad at me."
"What did you do now?" Georgia says rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.
"What makes you think I am in the wrong?" I asked accusingly. I already knew I was in the wrong, but I wanna know where this girl gets off believing I automatically did something.
"When do you not do something stupid? You always put that big athlete's foot of yours in your mouth."
"Shut up Gia. I did in fact do something stupid, but whatever to you always automatically assuming right off the bat."
"But she was right though," Dakota chimes in shrugging.
I roll my eyes and turn back to watch a kid jump into he pool and then instantly get in trouble from the lifeguard.
"So, what did you do?" She asked.
"She was talking to some guy."
"Why was she talking to this guy?" Dakota asks.
"Better question, was he hot?" Georgia asks.
"He helped her up off the shore. Earlier, she jumped out of her canoe and swam to the shore and he helped her up before I could make it there. And yes, by your standards little sister, he was hot."
"Wait, she jumped out of the boat? Why?" Dakota wanted to know.
"A spider."
"Ahh," they both agreed.
"So, where do you come in?" Georgia asks after taking a sip of her frozen strawberry daiquiris.
"I got mad at her for talking to this guy and I admit that I was acting all jealous, and when she asked me why I was acting jealous I told her I didn't know, and she couldn't just take that as an acceptable answer. I accidentally yelled and cursed at her."
They both just stared at me, Georgia shaking her head ashamedly.
"Dude, you never tell a girl, "I don't know". You better always have an explanation. There is no such thing as "I don't know," Dakota says laying down the older brother knowledge.
"He's right. Also, don't you trust Nova? Has she ever given you a reason to think that she would cheat on you? Much less, right in front of you. She's probably upset and feels like you have no trust in her. She was literally just talking to the guy who helped her up. Did you expect her to swat him away and say, "No! I'm waiting for my boyfriend to help me up when he finally gets here!" No. Did you at least apologize to her?" My sister asks.
"I do trust her. I trust her with my life and every fiber of being. Maybe something inside me was just insecure that our relationship was just going too well. It's possible I was also having flashbacks of my ex cheating on me and my brain automatically assumed that's what Nova was doing too. And yes, I did apologize to her immediately, but I don't really think it made much of a difference. What makes it worse is that I left her there to come here. I'm realizing how bad of an idea that was."
Damn, these lies are getting bigger and more elaborate and believable.
"You're damn right that was a bad idea! Nova is not your ex. Do you not understand what kind of a catch Nova is, dude? That's one special, loyal, caring, independent woman. You must not realize that she doesn't need you to be happy. She chose you to join her in happiness and you're fuckin' it up man," Dakota says turning towards me and looking at me seriously.
"He's right. You have a really special girlfriend and you need to make sure you can keep a hold of her. Go find her and repent!" Georgia says, shoving me and almost knocking me off the chair.
It's starting to really get to me that I am lying to the good people that are my siblings. Here they are trying to give me relationship advice for a guy who is gay, but they believe has a girlfriend.
I really need to come clean to them.
And I really need to find Nova.
When I finally made it back to the room Nova wasn't there. I guess she was still enjoying her date with Jackson. As she should.
I hope she received my text that I sent her earlier.
I'm such an ass.
I decided that since she's not back yet for me to talk to, I could take a warm shower to help ease the tension in my muscles.
All I could do, however, was run today's events through my mind again while the water droplets ran over the ridges of my body and the steam filled the room.
I just stood there and put my head down in shame over what has become of my life. The water began to gush over my head and berate me as if to ask, "When are you going to get your fuckin' life together?!"
I almost feel like things aren't going to truly start looking up for me until I stop lying to the people I love the most. I know for a fact that at least one person is going to be upset, no disappointed, in me for the lies, for bringing Nova into this, for my drug and alcohol use that I allowed to consume me in college, and for my interest in men.
I am so fearful of disappointing my family that I am not living my true life and I am bringing Nova down with me because I cannot fess up to the realization I've only recently had. I need to get this off my chest. I need to tell them and her.
I WILL do this.
I step out of the shower when I'm finished feeling refreshed in more ways than one. I was going to blast some feel good music from my phone's speakers but decided against it since I'm not at home and my neighbors may not like me forcing them to listen to Adele.
But let's face it, Adele is a cool-ass goddess.
I'm just going to put in my headphones.
Which, apparently, are not in here in the bathroom with me.
I step towards the bathroom door and press my ear to the wood to see if maybe Nova is back. That didn't really help me much, though, because I guess she could be lying there on her bed quietly scrolling through Instagram or playing a game on her phone like she normally does.
So, I crack the door a little to peek.
No signs of life.
"Nov?" I say into the bedroom.
Still no signs of life.
"Cool, coast is clear."
It'll only take me a second to grab my headphones off the nightstand and come back to the bathroom, so I'm not going to bother with putting a towel around my waist since she's not here anyway.
I fully open the door and expose the room to all of my tanned skinned naked glory and go in search for my headphones.
"Hmm, they're not on the nightstand like I thought they were. Damn, now I have to search for them. Maybe I should get that towel. My balls are getting breezy."
I look around for a few more minutes tossing aside dirty clothes, moving away pillows, and standing legs apart with my hands on my hips, and cold dick pruned like a fresh raisin, to finally spot my headphones on Nova's side of the room.
"There you little guys are! Why are you over here where you're not supposed to be?" I said to the inanimate objects as I snatched them up from her nightstand and put them in before connecting my phone to them.
"HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIDE! AT LEAST I CAN SAY THAT I TRIIIIIDE!" I sang loudly.
While making my way back to the bathroom, the stupid cord for my headphones snagged on something yanking them from my ears. They landed on the floor behind me, causing me to turn around.
"Stupid fuckin' headphones," I say before looking towards the door where some movement caught my eye.
"FUCK, NOVA!!"
"AHHHH!!!!" She yelled.
I was so startled and shaken at the sudden fact that she was there without me being aware, and the fact that she is now seeing me naked, that I was frozen. But not frozen enough to not notice her quickly and absent mindedly eyeing me up and down.
"I'm so sorry Nova!" I profusely apologized. Why? I don't know. She's the one who walked in on me. Yet, I still ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to cover myself and the slight boner I was getting.
"You, uh, look really good tonight," I sputtered trying to change the subject and fix the awkward situation.
"Thanks," she said rubbing her arm, embarrassed, "Why are you naked?" she asked, accidentally allowing her eyes to waver over me again.
I couldn't help but turn a shade brighter.
"I took a shower and wasn't expecting you to be back so soon. I figured you would text me letting me know you were coming back," I say taking a seat on my bed, being sure to tuck my blood-rushed dick between my legs.
"Sorry, I guess I should've let you know. I wasn't expecting you to be here either."
We sit in silence for a while as she started to put things away and pack up her stuff to prepare for our drive back to my family's vacation home tomorrow.
"Nova, I need to talk to you about something," I say to her as she walks past me on her way to the bathroom.
"What's up?"
"Well, first off I want to apologize again for earlier. I would hug you, but uh, I kinda can't at this moment."
We both laugh and she thankfully throws my boxer briefs and pajamas at me from the bathroom.
"I want to apologize to you too. I didn't know you had so much on your mind," she says referring to the text that I sent her a couple hours ago. She stood in the bathroom doorway looking at me and leaning against the framing, crossing her legs at her ankles.
"I know you didn't. I didn't let on that anything was wrong with me, but I know the reason for my outburst now and why I reacted the way I did. It has been a buildup of frustrations for a while now and I just wasn't dealing with it or accepting it and it all just came out at you. I needed to step away for a few hours so I could think on everything and how I plan on handling the situation."
"Okay. Are these frustrations something you want to talk about?"
"Not yet, but soon. Really soon in fact. But one of the frustrations I think I'm ready to finally let go."
"Which is?"
I sighed heavily because I am aware of the shitstorm that is to come, but as long as I've got my girl by my side, I should be alright, "Nova, I think I'm ready to come out to my family."